Almost Twilight (16 page)

However,
during vacation, a doctor’s nights were sacred. This call meant trouble,
probably even death.

Rafe’s
doctoring instincts went into full alert as he rolled over and put the cell
phone to his ear. He tried to harden his heart before he spoke.

“Yeah?”
His voice was raw and tired, devoid of feeling.

“Rafe,
it’s Jim.”

“Give
me a second to wake up, okay?”

Rafe
sat up and rubbed a hand over his face. Jim’s tired sigh made Rafe’s mind churn
with questions. Was his father in the hospital on the brink of death? Was it a
heart attack or an accident? Was Jeremy okay? Or was it Tanner or Hannah? What
about his brother Max? Crazy Max could have been thrown by one of his horses. The
possibilities were endless.

Rafe
hated nights like these. Nights alone with no one to share the fear in his
heart. Or the pain.

He
curled his free hand into a fist and swallowed. “Who is it?”

“Susie.
We lost her about an hour ago. I know you’re on vacation...but, well...thought
you’d like to know.” 

Susie.

Rafe
squeezed his eyes tight, and his breathing seemed to stop. He’d always been
afraid of Susie’s death. The little girl had wrapped her blue eyes around his
heart the first time he’d seen her.

Even
though he had tried to distance himself from her, it had been useless. She had
believed in him, and he had let her down.

“Thanks,
Jim.”

“Hey,
buddy?”

Rafe
felt his composure breaking. He tightened his hold on the phone. “Hmmm?”

“We
did all we could for her.”

Rafe
let his head fall against his pillow. “We made a hell of a difference, didn’t
we?” he said sarcastically.

“I
like to think so,” Jim said softly. “She was a good girl. I believe she’s in a
better place now.”

“But
she had so much to live for...”

It
wasn’t fair. Life wasn’t fair!

Rafe
knew his friend had a hard night, but it was all he could do not to scream at
the injustice of it all.

“She
left a card for you, Rafe.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.
She said thank you and added that she loved you. And not to worry about her
anymore...because she’s in heaven...people in heaven don’t hurt.” Jim paused. “I
think her parents helped her out with it. There’s a similar card for Nurse
Richards, too.”

Rafe
couldn’t speak. His mouth felt dry. Susie had said she loved him a few times. No
one knew that he had read her stories from her favorite Mother Goose book. No
one knew the times he had slipped into her room to see how she was doing, even
though the nurses on the floor were competent. No one knew the way that little
girl had eased her way into his heart.

When
he’d seen Candy in Susie’s room, playing with the girl, making her feel like a
normal kid, his emotions had gotten the best of him. He hadn’t wanted either of
them to be hurt.

Rafe
clenched his teeth, socking his mattress with his fist. If he had any inkling
that Susie would have died when he was on vacation, he never would have left. He
figured she had at least six months.

“Listen,
buddy,” Jim continued, “I’ll take care of things here. You enjoy your vacation.
Sorry I had to bother you about this.”

“Yeah,
well, I wonder at times like this why I ever became a doctor. Don’t you?”

It
was a moment before Jim answered. “I wonder too. But when I see the people we
help, and the families that are in so much pain, I don’t wonder at all anymore.
I think God made some of us doctors and some not. We were meant for this job,
Rafe. You and me, because we’re good at it. We save lives, but we also touch
them too. That in itself is a reward made in heaven. Everyone has to die
sometime. It’s how we live our life that makes the difference.”

Rafe’s
throat tightened. “I thought she had a few more months.”

“She
fell into a coma. Went peaceful-like, if that’s any consolation.”

Rafe
drew in a heavy, agonizing breath. “It’s hard sometimes, you know that, Jim.”

“Yeah,
I know.” Another tense pause. “Well, take care, buddy.”

“Thanks.
You too.”

“Be
seeing you and that pretty nurse when you get back. I had a fancy for her
myself. If you get tired of her, let old Jim know, okay?”

Rafe
stiffened. “She’s off limits, buddy boy.”

Jim
chuckled. “So that’s the way the wind blows, eh?”

“Yeah,
and this is the only warning you’re going to get.”

“Hey,
just asking. Seems your father was right then.”

Rafe
scowled. His father couldn’t keep his mouth shut about anything. Did everyone
at the hospital know about him and Candy? Or everyone in Clearbrook Valley for
that matter? 

Rafe
was so shocked, it took him a few seconds before he spoke. “Don’t listen to a
thing that man says.”

Jim
let out a laugh. “You don’t fool me. I listen to every word uttered from your
old man’s mouth. And he really is a spry young thing, you know. How else do you
think I keep up with what’s going on in Clearbrook Valley?”

Pride
mixed with anger kept Rafe from responding. What Jim said was true. Fritz
usually knew everyone and everything going on in town.

“Gotta
go, buddy,” Jim said calmly. “I wanted to get you thinking about something else
other than Susie. It seems my plan worked. See you when you get back.”

Jim
ended the call.

For
a few long seconds, Rafe gripped the phone, then placed it back on his
nightstand.

Not
able to go back to sleep, he rolled out of bed and threw on a pair of cut-offs.
Usually he would swim in the nude, but with Selena and her domineering ways,
all he needed tonight was to have that woman find him in his birthday suit,
especially with Candy sleeping inside. He would never hear the end of it. Selena
would turn into a hurricane of terror.

Minutes
later, Rafe hit the water running. The ocean was warm against his skin. He
floated on his back and took in a deep sigh. The stars sparkled like shiny
teardrops in the nighttime sky. The smell of saltwater filled his senses while
the sound of the slapping waves hit his ears.

Was
Susie up there?

“I’m
sorry, honey. I did all I could. I guess it wasn’t enough.” 

He
had tried to set her up with the best surgeons, the best doctors he could. But
it wasn’t enough. It was never enough.

His
chest tightened in grief. Sometimes it hit him like this.

The
little girl’s smile, her speech, her laughter, everything about her had touched
an emotional nerve in his body. That’s why he had become so upset with Candy
when she showed some kindness to the girl. He was trying to protect both of
them, and it seemed he’d failed with that too.

“Rafe?
What in the world are you doing out here in the middle of the night?”

Rafe
was treading water when he turned at the sound of Candy’s voice. He couldn’t
see the lady, but he liked the way his name rolled off her lips. “I’m floating
in the ocean. What do you think I’m doing?”

He
heard a splash, and his heart skipped a beat. In the soft glow of the moon, he
saw her then, a small silhouette in a pair of shorts and a T-shirt wading by
the shore.

“Don’t
come in. There’s a coral reef not far from the rocks over there. The undertow
could pull you too close.”

“Oh,”
she said softly, backing up.

Her
innocence attracted him. Her stubbornness amused him, and her sweetness consumed
him. “I’ll come out. Wait right there.” 

He
wondered if he should tell her about Susie. The ache in his heart was growing.

He came
out of the water and slipped a hand in hers, kissing her forehead. Her bones
were as delicate as his mother’s blue china.

“You’re
shivering,” he said, trying to hide his pain. “Let’s get back inside.”

“Let’s
stay, Rafe. I like the sound of the ocean. It seems to talk to you if you
listen real hard.”

Rafe
tilted his head toward the water. “Does it?”

“Come
on, let’s listen.” 

She dragged
him near a palm tree and sat down. He fell beside her, feeling the cool sand beneath
him as her fingers tightened over his hand.

The
wind rustled against the palm leaves, filling the night air. Rafe stared across
the vast waters and sighed. If he weren’t so sad, he would take advantage of
the romantic setting.

Smiling,
Candy looked at him. “I can hear it. Can you?”

Rafe
squeezed her fingers. “What does it say?”

“It
says you’re sad, Dr. Clearbrook. Very sad.”

Rafe
slipped his hand from her warm grip and stared at her. Her eyes were dark and
filled with understanding.

She
rested her fingers on his forearm. “Tell me what’s bothering you. Sometimes
another human being can help.”

“No
one can help,” he said harshly, standing up.

“I
don’t believe you.” He heard the hurt in her voice as she stood beside him. “What
was that phone call all about?”

Rafe
glared at her. “What are you talking about?”

“The
phone call about a half hour ago. I’m not deaf. I was downstairs, eating a
cookie, when I heard your cell phone ring.”

“It
was nothing.” Nothing but another death.

He
took a few steps and gazed up at the stars, more shaken than he was willing to
admit. He didn’t need Candy seeing his weakness.

He scowled
and kicked the sand.
Susie. Susie was dead.

Candy
took in Rafe’s strong profile. His mouth tightened into a grim line. His black
brows drew together as if he were contemplating something more than the stars. Sadness,
sorrow, whatever he wanted to call it, the emotion had gripped him like a phantom,
squeezing the life out of him. His mood was completely different from the
carefree attitude he had shown her when he’d taken her to dinner and the
casino.

“Rafe?”

He
ignored her and stuffed his hands into his wet cut-offs. Moonlight glittered
off his broad shoulders and down his wide, muscular chest.

Something
in their relationship had changed that day. But she had probably started falling
for this man, the first time she had seen him. He had saved a baby’s life in
the emergency waiting room. The child had been choking on a piece of hard candy
when Rafe had come to the rescue. Grabbing the blue-faced babe from his
mother’s arms, he popped the candy out of the kid’s mouth like it was something
a doctor did everyday.

Candy
shivered at the intensity in his stare. There was a certain air of isolation
about him tonight, but a commanding strength as well. She had heard from Hannah
that all the Clearbrook brothers carried themselves like that, especially when in
the depths of emotion.

Though
she had never seen Max, the third brother, Hannah had told her stories about
the man. But it was uncanny how she kept missing the youngest of the three
Clearbrook brothers. Max owned a ranch near Clearbrook Valley, and the few
times he had come over to the house, she had been working at the hospital.

Max,
who for some reason had even missed Tanner’s wedding to Hannah, seemed to move
like the wind, and in some ways, he seemed the exact opposite of Rafe, who
stayed in one spot. Candy couldn’t stop reliving the night she had danced with
Rafe at that wedding. They had joked and laughed together. It had been
wonderful. What had happened?

She
stared at the stiffness in Rafe’s stance. The telephone call tonight had
something to do about a patient. She could see the anguish in his eyes. Oh, he
tried to fool her, but she knew the real Rafe, the man who hid behind the
medical diploma. The man who tried to cure the whole world, taking everything
on his shoulders like he was God.

“You
know,” she said softly, “You’re like a piece of hard candy.”

He
slowly turned his head and gazed at her with a half-bland smile. “What?”

“You
know, hard candy with the chewy, soft stuff in the middle? The really good
part.”

He
shook his head, his gray eyes twinkling. “You, Nurse Richards, are the most
confusing female I’ve ever met.”

She
chuckled and slipped her hand into his. To her relief, he didn’t pull away. It
felt warm. It felt right. “Yep, a piece of candy, all right.”

He
lifted her chin with his index finger, and Candy trembled at his steady gaze. “You
got it all wrong. There’s nothing sweet about me.” 

“That’s
what you would like people to believe. You have a hard exterior, Dr. Clearbrook,
but you care about people. That’s sweet. I should know, my name is Candy, after
all.”

He gave
her a forced smile, shifted his gaze back to the ocean, and crossed his arms
over his chest.