Alone in the Dark (19 page)

that rather than run from what she found here, in his arms, she was going to make the

most of it. For as long as she had. And if that was just for tonight, okay. If it was for

longer, well then, even better.

But she knew she couldn't count on anything beyond the moment she was in. Being a

policeman's daughter had taught her that. And she had always been one to make the most

of what she had.

Patience smiled up into his face. "Shouldn't be a difficult prescription to fill." She moved closer to him until she was in his arms. "Are you sure you won't hurt too much?"

What was too much? He was already aching. Mostly for her. Very slowly he moved his head

from side to side, giving Patience her answer. "I'd hurt even more if I went home."

Her smile widened. "You know, for a man who doesn't talk all that much, you do come up

with some lovely things to say."

"Must be the company I'm keeping."

She laughed softly, touching his face. How had she gotten here? And how had she

managed to resist for so long? "I'll accept that."

Brady bent his head and kissed her. And everything else faded away. The concerns, the

pain, and most of all the loneliness that ached so badly it threatened to swallow him up

whole and send his soul back to the abyss from where it had come. He had no idea how he

had managed to stay away from her for these past two days. Nor could he remember why.

An urgency filled her, making her want to race even as she wanted to savor every tiny

moment, absorbing it like a sponge. Even as his mouth slanted over hers, taking her higher

and higher into the euphoria that he created for them, she was fumbling with his belt,

desperate to undress him. Desperate to make love with him.

She managed to unnotch his gun belt. Heavy, it slid down the length of his legs like a lead

weight, thudding to the floor in a semicircle around his feet. She didn't wait for the sound

to register before she started to undo the belt on his pants.

Her heart vibrated like a tuning fork as she pushed the button through its hole and then

pulled down the zipper. She bit back a moan of anticipation as, his kiss deepening, he

ripped away buttons on her shirt, yanking away the material.

And then touching her.

Softly, reverently, in complete conflict with the wild, erotic sensations that slammed

through her like an ocean of tiny rubber balls.

She wanted him to take her this second. She grasped his shoulders to anchor herself to

him as her knees began to feel as if they were buckling. When he winced in response, guilt

filled her.

She pulled back to look at him. "You're sure I'm not hurting you."

Pain was the last thing on his mind. And she was the first.

"Woman, you talk too much." His voice was thick with desire.

The next moment Brady was covering her mouth with his own again, kissing her if his very

soul hung in the balance.

And then she couldn't talk, couldn't muster up the concern she'd felt only a second ago,

because he was assaulting every square inch of her, both literally and figuratively.

Scrambling for more and more sensations, they discarded the rest of each other's

clothing. Within moments, with internal flames urging them on, they were on the floor,

wrapped up in one another.

She found she could hardly breathe. Brady had her completely on fire. The first time had

been perfect. But it paled in comparison to now. She didn't know where to touch first,

what to feel first. Everything was exquisitely delicious. Every vital part of her throbbed,

waited for release, wanted him forever. She twisted and turned as he caressed her over

and over again. His body was hard and firm and she couldn't get enough of him.

When he finally drove himself into her, their hands locked together, their bodies pressed

against one another, she bit down on her lip to keep from crying out.

Together they raced to the final moment. When it came, she did cry out his name. It

escaped in an exhausted whisper that echoed in his head long after it had faded from the

air.

Rather than experience the letdown that went hand in hand with the vanishing euphoria,

Brady discovered that, inexplicably, a sweetness had begun to fill him. He couldn't make

heads or tails of it, only knew that it was her doing.

She was some kind of a witch, casting spells over him. Turning his life upside down. Making

him want things he had no business wanting. A home, a family. A normal life. None of which

he had any firsthand experience with.

Using the remainder of his strength, Brady gathered her against him in his arms.

Everything within him felt as if it was smiling. His own mouth curved.

"So," he finally said, "this is your idea of a prescription."

Her body curled against his, Patience feathered her fingertips along his chest. The light

sprinkling of hair excited her. She raised her eyes to his, hoping she looked at least a little

wicked, because he made her feel very, very wicked. "Uh-huh."

Didn't she know how impossible this was? How could she when he was acting as if it was

the most normal thing in the world? As if making love to an angel was an everyday

occurrence for him instead of a miracle.

He ran his thumb along her lower lip. Exciting himself. "When can I come by for another

refill?"

"Anytime you want."

"Good to know." Brady sucked his breath in sharply as he felt her fingers lightly glide

along his inner thigh, then delve farther down. He placed his hand over hers as she cupped

him.

Her grin was positively wicked. "Now might be a good time."

Her breath was warm along his chest. One minute he was exhausted; the next, he wanted

her again. Patience was teaching him things about himself he'd never known before.

Brady rolled over onto her again. "Sounds good to me."

The agony was overwhelming.

He couldn't make himself leave.

Like a penitent sinner, bent on self-torture, he remained throughout the night, caught in

his own private hell as he listened to the sounds.

The sounds of their making love.

Anger had long since taken hold of him, sharing a dance with a red-hot jealousy that gave

him no peace.

Would give him no peace until he acted.

The first time had been a mistake. But he could find no way to absolve her of the second

time. That was just wrong. She'd transgressed.

It was time.

Time to make her realize that she belonged to him and only him, not this sanctimonious

jackass in a uniform.

His fists clenched at his sides.

It was time.

Brady stayed the night. He'd had no intentions of staying, at least, not in her bed, but it

seemed as if his intentions made no impression on the plans life had laid down for him.

He'd been fooling himself all these years, he thought as he pulled on his jacket, by

believing that he was in charge of his own destiny. He wasn't.

Not in the absolute sense.

He knew he could still walk away from Patience, and he still believed, deep in his soul, that

it would be for her own good if he did. But he also knew that if he did so, he would be

leaving a piece of himself behind. A piece he hadn't even known he'd had until recently.

Leaving her would cost him his heart.

"When can I take King home?" he asked. They were in her kitchen and he'd just turned

down her offer to make him breakfast. He shook his head when she held the coffeepot

over his cup. He'd already had three cups and, for now, that was his limit.

She set the pot down on her side. Something was in the air. She felt too antsy herself to

eat. "I'd like to keep him here for a few more hours, now that he's awake. Just to make

sure."

Make sure of what? he wondered. Half-formed thoughts filled his head. "You think he's in

any danger?"

"No."Not nearly as much as I am,she added silently. Because Brady had her heart and she

was vulnerable now. Just the way she'd always sworn to herself she would never be.

So much for keeping promises made toyourself .

An awkwardness had descended over them. It had been there from the moment they'd

stepped into the kitchen. From the moment they'd stepped into the rest of their lives

outside of her bedroom. "Well, I guess I'd better report in."

She didn't want him to leave, didn't want last night to end, even though daylight had

pushed itself into every corner of her house.

"Can't you take the day off?" She glanced down at the floor, toward where the clinic's

back room was one floor away. "After all, your partner's recuperating—and so should you."

He looked at her for a long moment, feeling so many things he didn't want to feel. Things

he had no idea how to handle. This simple woman who asked for nothing had turned his

whole world upside down and made everything come spilling out. How was he supposed to

get it all back together again?

"This is going to take more time than just a day to get over."

She could feel an ominous cloud descending, "You're not talking about your wounds, are

you?"

"No," he told her quietly.

She took her courage into both her hands. Anything worth having was worth fighting for,

she'd once heard. And Brady was so worth having. "Do you really think this is something

you need to get over?"

No, if he was lucky, he'd remember every single moment he'd spent with her forever. But

that wasn't the point. "No, but you need me to get over it."

"Coltrane, get this through your head. I do not need anyone else doing my thinking for me,

or deciding what's best for me."

Her fierce declaration left him unmoved. "Maybe in this case, you do."

"No," she replied firmly, quietly. So quietly she could hear her heart cracking. "I don't.

But you obviously need some time." She rose from the table, picking up his empty cup and

hers. Had King not been in her recovery area, she would have taken Brady over to her

uncle's for breakfast and maybe that would have done the trick for him.

But then, if King hadn't been hurt, Brady might not have been here in the first place.

Patience sighed. She ran her hand through her hair. It was still damp from the shower

they had taken together. That hadn't been his plan, of course. She'd jumped into the stall

after he'd already gotten started showering. His growl of surprise had turned into a

guttural sound of pleasure. The shower had taken him far longer than he'd anticipated, but

he'd told her he had no complaints on that account. He'd made her laugh when he'd said

that for the first time in his life, his back felt as if it was completely clean.

Was that the first of many showers they'd take together?

Or was it the last?

She just didn't know. But she was determined that she wasn't about to appear needy if he

decided to walk away. Pride had to come in someplace, even if it was a poor substitute for

love.

Patience rose from the table. "Like you said, you need to get to work. And so do I."

Brady nodded as he got up. "I just want to say goodbye to King."

The door that led down to the clinic was already unlocked. They'd gone to check on King

together first thing this morning. Well, second thing, she amended, remembering the

shower.

The thought was accompanied by a bittersweet sensation. With effort, she pulled herself

back from it. "I'll let you two have a moment alone."

Brady nodded. For the time being he preferred it that way.

The morning dragged by.

Patience felt conflicted and horribly vulnerable. For the first time in a very long time, she

felt as if she had little control over her emotions. They felt as if they were all over the

map and it took effort to keep them from spilling out.

Damn him, anyway.

She'd been ready to throw out all of her own rules of engagement, ready to open up her

heart to him completely and this morning, at the table, he'd looked as if he was ready to

shut the door on it all. She could literally feel him withdrawing from her.

He'd hardly said a word after looking in on King again. Just a mumbled goodbye and that

he'd be by later to pick up his partner.

And that was it.

So maybe that was it, she thought sadly. He certainly didn't behave like a man who wanted

to prolong a relationship. And if she didn't want it to be over, well, obviously she had no

control over the situation.

She was going to have to make her peace with that.

Peace was coming at a very high price today. Shirley had been talking almost nonstop all

morning, the sound of her voice droning in the background like the overly long score to an

uninteresting movie.

After a day that had been all but bursting at the seams yesterday, today the

appointments were so spread out, it seemed as if the hours crawled by. She told herself

she could use the rest, but right now, in her present state of mind, she wanted a day that

was so busy she couldn't take two breaths together in succession.

It was on days like today that she usually took the time to catch up, but nothing was

getting caught. Her brain had taken a holiday.

She was in the back office when she heard the bell jingling, announcing that someone had

walked into the clinic. Good, she could use the distraction. Anything to silence her own

thoughts and Shirley's incessant talking.

Coming to the reception area, she saw Josh. Gonzo was nowhere around. Taking a deep