Already His (The Caversham Chronicles - Book Two) (40 page)

No longer wiping the tears, Elise collapsed onto the chair and dropped her head into her hands, giving in to the wracking sobs.

Beverly put her arms around her and let her cry. “Oh Elise, you’re incapable of indifference because you
are
so full of love. Even if Michael cannot see you for the precious treasure you are, that does not negate the fact that you are—indeed—a most precious treasure.”

“It hurts, Beverly. My heart hurts.”

“I know it does.

“He’s the one that caused the hurt. For that I
can
hate him.”

“You can certainly tell yourself that, though I know otherwise,” Beverly said. “And in time, you’ll get over him. Or, at least the pain will ease.”

“How did you get to be so wise about matters of the heart? You’re only a few months older than me.”

“Remember James?”

Elise nodded, for she remembered Beverly’s broken heart over Vicar Evington’s son as clear as if it were her very own.

“I’m just repeating everything you told me.”

Elise backed away and gave her friend a sympathetic little smile. “Now that I know how you felt, I feel even worse for what you went through.”

“Don’t. For look at me now. I am very much in love with Christopher, and happier than I ever was with James because Christopher loves me back. That’s not to say I don’t ever think of James, for you know I do. But I think of him less frequently, and the pain I once felt is now replaced by new love.”

“How do I get to that point?”

“You continue living,” Beverly advised. “Live every day as though it were your last.” She thought a moment, then smiled and added, “But you already do that.”

Elise hiccuped, then gave a hesitant grin. They were silent a moment, while Elise dried her face and blew her nose like a stable hand.

“I do believe he’ll keep his end of the bargain,” Beverly said finally, “and not say anything.”

“He’d better.”

T
wo days later Elise was receiving callers, after her usual early-morning breakneck ride in the park with Beverly. She sat in the drawing room—the very one she sat in the other day when she’d sent Michael out of her life forever—with her grandmother, listening to Lady Digby speak about the plans she had for herself and her shy, somewhat of a bluestocking daughter, Anne, now that the season was almost over. They were likable enough. Lady Digby was an acquaintance of Lia’s from one of her charitable committees, and her daughter was a sweet, if shy, seventeen year old, who’d also just come out this year. Anne would make Michael the perfect wife, Elise thought. The quiet, petite brunette with pretty dark eyes, would likely never counter his requests, never argue with him, never refuse him. If Michael asked for two dozen children, Elise was certain dutiful Anne would agree, where Elise would tell him her limit was until he had two sons, and argue that she wasn’t a broodmare.

While all that went through her head, thankfully her Grandmother carried the conversation. Elise hoped she appeared interested enough in what they said, though for the life of her she couldn’t remember who or what they were talking about. She hoped that when she nodded and agreed to their comments that it sounded as though she’d been attentive and that her responses were appropriate. For all she knew she could have just agreed to steal the crown jewels and she would never have known. She really needed to pay more attention to the discussion. She lifted a forkful of cake to her mouth and snapped to attention at the sound of
his
name.

“I beg pardon, Lady Digby, what was that?”

“Lord Camden told Digby yesterday at their club that he would be attending the Holcombe party this evening. As my Digby has a previously arranged meeting tonight, he will be unable to attend with us.” Her voice trailed with a querying tone. “And I had so hoped to get an introduction for my Anne,” the robust matron finished.

Elise didn’t think she could speak. How could they all know already? This was surely proof that society knew something was amiss between them, and Lady Digby was either the bravest or the most desperate of the many who wanted to ask but didn’t dare appear so rude.

“Well Adelaide, I certainly hope this meeting is more important than his daughter getting an introduction to the most eligible gentleman this season,” her grandmother said. “Why, if it weren’t for his family being in mourning he would have been married by now.”

Lady Digby nodded her head, the feathers on her hat bobbing over her left eye as she did. “I agree, Lady Sewell. I heard that Camden was using this time to look over this year’s crop of debutants and that his decision would be made when his three months were up.” The woman’s colorful peacock feather bobbed as she lifted her cup and saucer to her lips and sipped. “Of course with less than two weeks left in the season, and no one young lady in the running as his potential bride, I thought surely it’s because he’s not met the right young lady.” The woman puffed her chest out. “Who knows? Perhaps my Anne is the right lady for him,” she declared, her voice sounding more like the bird that gave up its feathers for her silly hat, now that Elise thought about it.

She looked to her grandmother and back to Lady Digby. “Why certainly, we can make the introduction, if you would like, Lady Digby,” Elise said. “After all Camden is a dear friend of the family.”
Where did that come from?

Elise remembered her plans for the evening didn’t involve the Holcombe’s but rather the opera, with Beverly and Lord Huddleston. But one look directly into the doe eyes of the meek little brunette in front of her had her agreeing to a diversion first before they went to the theater.

She looked at Anne and smiled. “You’ll find that Camden is a dreadful bore, dealing with facts and evidence on a daily basis as he does. Why, all he does is speculate on the innocence or guilt of various parties, whether on trial or not.” She forced a bright, if artificial, smile. “But he is a long-time friend of my brother’s and if you’re certain you want an introduction, I’d be most happy to grant one.”

The ladies took their leave soon after, having gotten what they sought. Elise returned to the drawing room, after seeing the ladies out, when her grandmother commented on her behavior.

“That was an interesting visit. With your sister-in-law in the country I would not have expected a visit from Adelaide Digby. She must be desperate to come to us.” She raised her gaze to Elise. “But I wonder where they got the idea that Camden was available. The two of you have pretty much made known your arrangement, even though you’ve had that little tiff the other morning.”

“We no longer have an arrangement, and it is for the best,” Elise said. She stood at the window watching the ladies get into their closed carriage as the afternoon threatened rain.

“You have asked that I not question you about what has been going on between you, and I have complied as I believe a young person should be allowed a modicum of privacy.” Elise turned to her to respectfully protest, but her grandmother lifted a hand to silence her and continued. “But I know your heart, my darling child. And whatever your argument with him, know that no goal that is worth achieving is done so easily. Your grandfather taught me that.”

Elise swallowed past the knot forming in her throat. Desperate to leave the room before she began to cry “I appreciate your words Grandmother, but Lord Camden is no longer my heart’s desire. And, believe me ma’am, this is for the best.” She excused herself and fled the room, hoping to reach her suite before the damnable tears began again.

She told herself not to think of her pain just then because she had a note to write. She had to tell Beverly about the change in their plans. In her note she said that this tiny detour shouldn’t inconvenience them over much. They could leave a few minutes earlier than planned, spend less than an hour at the Holcombe’s, and still only miss the thirty minutes of socializing before the opera began. Elise reasoned they could be fashionably late and still arrive before the production started.

When Bridget entered the room Elise handed her maid the note for Beverly. “Can you see that the messenger waits for a reply?” Bridget nodded and Elise went to her chifferrobe and flung open the doors. She flipped through the dresses on hangers, looking for a particular dress to wear that night. She had to appear stunning, and make that bloody cur realize what he was missing. No, what he’d thrown away.

Instead of the mint green and ivory dress she’d planned on wearing, she looked for something special. One he was sure to remember. “Bridget? Where is my ivory silk with gold satin ribbon?”

“Downstairs being steamed.”

“Thank you.” Her lips curved to a mischievous smile. “Have I told you how much I appreciate you lately?”

The maid just mumbled something about good servants knowing every whim of their employer before they asked and left the room.

Elise thought it was more likely she’d been listening at the door of the salon, and thus knew she would see Michael. The ivory and gold
was
her favorite. She’d worn it once, the night of his mother’s birthday dinner. Hopefully, Michael would remember that when he saw her.

P
ropriety dictated that Elise and her grandmother pick up Beverly and Lord Huddleston at the home of Beverly and her father. From there, the drive to the Holcombe’s took longer than expected for so short a distance, as the traffic all through Mayfair was congested. With the season winding down it seemed there were multiple events most nights, which was why there was such a snarl. Their party disembarked from the Caversham carriage and walked a short distance to the entrance. Christopher ordered the carriage to remain nearby, telling the driver they would be out shortly.

But once inside, the crush of people in the modest-sized house almost proved too much for them, especially for her grandmother. She’d had to knock several young men and ladies on the foot with her cane, to allow her to pass. She muttered something about the complete lack of respect the young ones had for their elders and finally gave up, deciding to remain seated near the open windows of the library with two other elderly matrons whose charges were within the house as well. Meanwhile she, Beverly and Christopher meandered through the crowds, managing to find a footman and get drinks. They decided to take their leave having walked through all the rooms and seeing no Lady Digby or Michael, when the matron and her daughter approached and indicated that Earl Camden was in the far corner of the ballroom.

Elise excused herself from her friends. She smiled at Lady Digby and Anne, then followed as they wound their way through the crowd and into the ballroom. There was no dancing at the moment as the musicians had taken a short hiatus, making it more difficult to cross the room. Lady Digby paused by a pillar and motioned toward Michael. Elise immediately spied him in a small group of men and women.

After two days of not seeing him at all, his handsome visage was like food for her starving soul. She wondered for the thirty-seventh time tonight why she was even in this hot and stuffy room about to introduce the love of her life to a young girl who could never hold the interest of a man like Michael.

She realized now that she hadn’t come to make the introduction. It was to see him again, because she missed him and loved him still even after all he’d said and done. Her breath caught in her throat and she cleared it, fortifying the walls of her heart. She took the lead, walking the rest of the way to Michael’s side with Lady Digby and Anne behind.

He looked up and met her gaze. His green-brown eyes softened as he skimmed over her form and a slight grin spread over his handsome face. She knew he wasn’t immune to her. Elise forced a reserved smile, while inside she wished she could run into his arms and feel him wrap them around her as he held her tight. She wanted to smell his sandalwood spice soap, and feel his whiskers rake her skin as he kissed the nape of her neck.

But it would never happen again. That was a different time. A time when he believed in her, trusted her. Might have even loved her.

“Good evening, my lord,” she said to Michael, then greeted the others in his party. Leaning in to him, she whispered, “I was wondering if I might make this introduction so that my party and I can leave for the opera.”

He nodded and stepped away from his friends, and Elise invited Lady Digby and her daughter forward. “Lord Camden, may I present to you Lady Digby and her daughter Lady Anne.” Turning to the ladies, she reciprocated the introduction. “My lord, Lady Anne has an amazing collection of butterflies she’s caught all on her own. They’re preserved in glass cases throughout her home. Isn’t that right, Lady Anne? She also paints beautiful watercolors and is also a virtuoso on the pianoforte.”

She watched as he took both women’s hands, kissing the air above their knuckles, and Elise’s chest constricted. “I should love to have you come for tea some time, my lord, so my darling Anne could play for you,” Lady Digby said proudly.

He smiled warmly at Anne Digby, and Elise wondered if perhaps the other girl
wasn’t
more to his liking. That thought send another pain shooting through her breast. “I would love to Lady Digby. Send an invitation soon, as I will be leaving at the end of the term to winter in the country.”

“I shall do that. Thank you,” the elder lady said.

More pleasantries were exchanged, but Lady Anne never opened her mouth to say a word to the man with whom she’d wanted an introduction. She was such a shy creature. Perhaps Elise ought to take Anne on as a protégé, bringing her under Elise’s wing so she could help the girl build her confidence and gain exposure. She was pretty enough. If she had some interests other than paints, the pianoforte, and heaven forbid, those butterflies, she might be able to make a decent match.