Altar Ego (11 page)

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Authors: Sam McCarthy

BOOK: Altar Ego
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“Dominic, you are being unfair.” I said quietly. “I have just started to get my life back on track.” I looked away from his stare. “It took me a long time to not think of you every time I woke up.”

“I want to be a part of it Elise. More than I have ever wanted anything.” He looked at me almost pleadingly.

“You don’t mean that.” I told him. I wriggled my hand free. “You just want to control everything...Me included.”

“I can’t lie to you. Controlling you is a huge part of what I want.” He took my hand again. “Don’t fight this Elise. I want to own you completely.” He lifted my hand and brushed his lips across my knuckles. “And I know that you want the same.”

I closed my eyes. I had to know if we had a chance.

“Have you ever been in love?” I asked him.

“Love?” He paused. “Don’t you realise Elise... Love is just a way for us to be selfish when we don’t want to live alone.”  He kept a tight hold of my hand.

“I don’t believe it is Dominic.” I told him. “I believe its wanting to be with someone. I believe that it is having a want to do whatever you can to make that person happy, including submitting to their every desire. I believe that it is all consuming and makes you the most unselfish person you can ever be, as you always put the needs of your significant other before you.” I looked straight into his eyes and took a deep breath. “I believe that it is how I feel about you.”

Chapter 17

He snatched his hand away from me and jumped up from his chair as if a bomb had exploded right underneath him. He stood there frozen, like he was in shock.

“Dominic...” I started to stand.

“No Elise. Don’t.” He said.

“Look at me.” I pleaded. I moved towards him, keeping my eyes on him at all times, willing for him to look at me. “Please.” I stood right in front of him.

“I can’t.” He said. His head was turned to the left slightly so that I couldn’t make eye contact. I touched his chin and gently turned his face to mine. He responded by closing his eyes. “I will hurt you.” He said.

“I want you to.” I told him, stepping up and placing a chaste kiss on his bottom lip.

“I will make you submit and succumb to things you have never even dreamed of.” He continued, swallowing loudly.

“I want you to.” I repeated, kissing his top lip.

“I will break you.” He opened his eyes and looked deep into mine. They were almost black and through the darkness I could see his passion for me burning. They say the eyes are windows to the soul, and his really were, if only you could get close enough to look into them.

“I’m ready.” I told him as I snaked my tongue across his lip. “You can break me, I’m yours. Just never leave me again.”

That was the only encouragement he needed. He grabbed me by the arm and spun me around flinging the chair out of the way and bending me over the table, my chest was crushed against the table top as he pressed into me from behind fumbling with his belt and hitching my skirt. He grasped the flimsy fabric at the side of my knickers and ripped them off of me in one quick movement. I took a sharp breath as he pushed my head down on the table holding me still, and plunged deep inside of me. He cried out my name as he thrust in and out of me in a frenzied attack. All I could do was grip the sides of the table and take what he needed to give to me.

He pounded into me again and again hitting my G spot with every thrust. My hips ground against the edge of the table and my legs were shaking. I should have been scared, but I wasn’t. I was comfortable. I loved this man and all he had to give and I took it graciously.  He pulled back and groaned before pushing into me one last time, his skin on mine and nothing between us at all. He shuddered as his cock throbbed inside of me and my own orgasm took over me as he came. His breathing gradually slowed to a normal pace and he flopped on top of me kissing my shoulders and sliding his arms underneath me to hold me. I was limp in his hold, like a ragdoll, exhausted and throbbing with soreness, but at the same time completely satisfied. He slipped out of me and lifted me from the table, turning me around and wrapping his arms around me. He held me tightly and breathed into my neck.

“Thank you.” He muttered. “Thank you for being the most incredible woman I have ever met.” He kissed my neck before lifting his head and looking straight into my eyes. “And most of all...Thank you for being mine.”

“I can assure you. It’s going to be my pleasure.” I smiled at him and snuggled into his chest, happy to be held by him, to feel some sort of affection.

“Let me take you home.” He said, kissing the top of my head. “You must be worn out?”

“Hmmm.” I nodded. “Home with you sounds good.”

He led me from the restaurant, carefully locking the doors behind us and in an instant his driver had the car doors open and ready for us. The drive was silent, I leaned in and rested my head on Dominic’s shoulder and he let me. He sat as still as a statue for the entire journey. When we slowed and eventually stopped, I realised we were outside Max’ house.

“Are you not taking me home?” I asked with disappointment.

“This is your home Elise...For now.” He said softly. “I think we both have some thinking to do.” He smoothed my cheek with his thumb and kissed the tip of my nose softly as the driver opened the door. “I will collect you tomorrow morning for breakfast.”

I pouted. It was ridiculous. I was a grown woman and here I was pouting like a child. I climbed out of the car and walked away, not looking back as I let myself into the house. I walked straight past the lounge, ignoring Max calling my name and headed up the stairs. Once in the safe haven of my room I let myself flop onto the bed fully clothed and cried until I fell asleep from sheer exhaustion.

I opened one eye as I felt a gentle shake on my shoulder.

“Elise.” There was another little shake.

“Princess... It’s time to wake up.”

I looked up at my best friend to see a worried look.

“I’m sorry Elise. I thought you would be able to sort things out with him.” He smoothed my hair off of my forehead. “He seemed so keen to put things right between you.”

I sat up and leaned against the bedstead and took the mug of steaming coffee that Max held out to me.

“I told him I loved him.” I said, staring into the mug.

“And...?” Max raised his eyebrow in a questioning manner.

“He gave me some bollocks about how he would hurt me, and then we fucked like teenagers over one of your tables.” I laughed as I realised how ridiculous it all was. “Then he dropped me off here and told me we had some thinking to do.” I sighed and took a sip of my coffee.  I stole a glance at Max to see he was smiling. “It isn’t anything to smile about Max.” I scolded him. “I’m a total fucking idiot.” I huffed, putting my coffee on the side table and slumped down into my quilt. “Just leave me. I’m just going to wallow in my own self pity for a while.” I told him.

“Oh no you aren’t.” He pulled my arm until I was hanging half out of the bed. “Shower time.” He tugged a little harder and I grabbed onto his arms laughing.

“No...Just leave me. I don’t want to shower.” I scrabbled to get a better grip on his arms. If I was going on the floor then he was coming too. “Max!” I shouted. We were laughing now as I twisted, slipped out of the bed and landed in a spectacularly ungraceful heap on the floor with Max on top of me.

“Shower.” He ordered. He kissed my forehead and lifted himself off of me. “I love you Baby, but you fucking stink.” He chuckled as he left the room and I was left alone to pick myself up.

Chapter 18

I did get in the shower. I cleaned my teeth and combed my hair, leaving it to dry naturally before pulling on a pair of skinny jeans and a t-shirt. I looked at myself in the mirror and brightened my eyes with a little mascara, before popping a slick of gloss on my lips. I was just heading down stairs when the doorbell rang and Max stepped in front of me to open the door. He had his car keys in his hand and was ready to leave for the restaurant.

“I will see you later Princess.” He called over his shoulder as he left, leaving the front door wide open, and Dominic’s form filled the whole doorway. 

“You are ready. Good.” His smile was broad and it lightened his face up in a way I hadn’t seen before. I stood still on the stairs for a moment just staring at him.

“Elise...” He stepped over the threshold and held his hand out to me. “Did you forget our breakfast arrangements?”

“I...err...No.” I stammered. I was confused by how happy he looked. It was strange and definitely unusual. I stepped down the remaining three steps and took the hand he was offering.

“Let’s go then.” He gave my hand a little squeeze as I grabbed my jacket and bag and we headed out into the early morning sun. I shivered a little as we climbed into the car. I slid across and he followed me in.

“Are you cold?” He asked.

I nodded.

He didn’t speak again; he just wrapped his arm around me and pulled me close, holding me tightly in the back seat of the car. His own body warmth seeped through my clothes and my shivering slowed.  I relaxed against him, not quite sure how to handle this new Dominic.

“So where are we going?” I asked.

“It’s a surprise.” He grinned and held me closer.

I smiled wryly as I let him envelop me in his arms, I could feel the beating of his heart against my own and I revelled in it. I relaxed against him and we continued on our journey in silence.

After almost an hour the car stopped and Dominic released me from his arms. I listened to the driver get out and seconds later he opened the door. I stepped out onto the pathway and took a deep breath of the fresh morning air. It was still a little chilly but the sun was trying desperately to break through the clouds and it looked like a nice day.

“I think the weather will hold out sir.” The driver spoke.

“Yes I think you are right.” Dominic replied. He moved behind me and guided me forward with his palm on the small of my back.  We crossed the grass and climbed a small embankment, as we reached the brow I gasped. There in front of us tethered to a post by the canal was the most colourful barge. It was beautifully decorated and a young man was waiting by it for us. I looked up at Dominic and he nodded at me with a smile. I squealed with delight and practically skipped down the bank to the water’s edge.

“This is amazing!”  I called to him as I trailed my hands over the paintwork, following the delicate swirls with my fingers until they reached a huge burst of flowers. “Is it yours?” I asked over my shoulder.

“It can be.” He spoke quietly behind me and I jumped at his closeness.

“Shit Dominic.” I turned to face him. “Are you an expert is moving in stealth mode?” I stepped up onto my tiptoes and wrapped my arms around his neck. “You made me jump.”

“I intend to make you do more than jump.” He growled. He kissed the tip of my nose before removing my arms from his neck and placing his hand once more on the small of my back. He gently pushed me forwards and I of course, complied. He could make me do just about anything, and only the slightest touch from him was required.  We stepped on to the plank and carefully climbed on to the deck.  The young man on the canal edge untied us and Dominic took control of the barge, steering it gently away from the banks.

“So where are we headed?” I asked wrapping my arms around him and pressing my chest into his back.

“Nowhere special.” He gave my hand a little pat and kept looking straight ahead. I slid around his body till I was aside him and looked up at him waiting for him to elaborate. He didn’t... obviously. He never did. He was a man of few words really. Though to be fair, he didn’t need to speak much to get his needs across to me. I understand what he wanted most of the time.

We stood like that for quite some time. I held on to him and watched the world move slowly past us. The green of the fields and the bright colours of the barges we passed glimmered in the morning sun. It was so peaceful, so quiet, it was almost unnerving, the silence.

After an hour or so, he slowed and guided us towards the bank. He jumped off the barge and tied the ropes to the two mooring posts, before stepping back onboard and holding out his hand. I placed my hand in his and he lifted it to his mouth, kissing it gently. I shivered, more in anticipation than as a result of the cool breeze which had picked up.

He turned and I followed, letting him lead me to the cabin door. We went through it and he locked it behind us, before moving into the small kitchenette. He motioned for me to sit while he uncorked a bottle of bubbly and retrieved two cut crystal flutes from one of the neat little cupboards.

“Champagne for breakfast?” I chuckled.

“Yes Elise.” He handed me the flute. “It’s a special occasion.” He knelt on the floor before me and placed his own glass on the table beside us. His hands trailed slowly up my legs, starting at my ankles and grazing ever so gently the backs of my calves and the soft delicate area behind my knees. My legs parted involuntarily as he brought his hands round over my knees and brushed his fingers against my inner thighs.

“That is why you are so perfect for me Elise.” He slowed his movements and gripped my thighs forcing them further apart. “You know exactly what I want from you.”

He leaned in between my thighs and lifted one hand to my neck; he gripped firmly and tilted my head to the side before pressing his mouth over mine. The warmth of his lips on mine made me more aware of my inhibitions melting away and I succumbed to his kiss. He nudged the tip of his tongue into my mouth and I groaned loudly, his other hand found the heat between my legs and he pressed against the fabric of my jeans, putting the exact amount of pressure on my clit and causing me to flinch against him. He released my mouth and paused still in front of me. Loosening his grip on my neck he spoke quietly.

“I want to strip you bare inside and out. I want to take every inch of your body as mine. I want to hear you screaming my name as I push myself deep into your body, your mind and your soul.” He blinked and stared into my eyes, cupping my chin in his hand. “But as much as it is killing me to wait, first we need to talk.”

He sat back on his haunches and I felt a cold draught whipping around my skin, losing his warmth was akin to being totally alone and I didn’t like it. I didn’t want him to ever let go of me and to keep him near I would agree to anything.

“Words are pointless when you stare at me like that.” I said quietly trying to avoid his eyes.

“That may be so Elise, but we need to put some ground rules in place if we are to be together.” He brushed his lips against mine. “It won’t always be easy to be with me.” He told me.

“I don’t care.” I admitted. “I’m yours, and I am not interested in easy.” I leaned towards him and raised my hand to touch his cheek. He grabbed my wrist and held it just away from his face. He squeezed, his fingers gripping and twisting my skin. I was a little shocked and my eyes filled with tears at the sudden onslaught of pain.

“I will hurt you.” He spoke through gritted teeth.

“I want you to.” I relaxed my muscles and let my wrist fall limp in his iron like grip.

“I will ruin you for any other man.” His eyes were dark, so dark I could see my own reflection in them.

“I don’t want any other man. It’s just you Dominic. You ignite a fire inside of me I didn’t even know existed.” I gulped swallowing the lump in my throat and allowed a single tear to escape on to my cheek.  “I only want you, and that means that I want all of the hurt and pain you wish to inflict on my body.” I bowed my head and looked away to the floor. “But my mind is my own. I go into this with all of my faculties in place. I want this...I want you!”

Keeping his grip on my wrist he lifted my chin with his other hand and stared into my eyes.

“You don’t know what you are saying.” His mouth hovered over mine and I closed my eyes.

“I know exactly what I’m saying.” I whispered.

In an instant he claimed me. Our mouths crashed together, our tongues locked, and I was tugged from my seat and onto his lap. Neither of us broke the kiss, my hands, now free, moved to his hair and I ran them into his hair, entwining it and giving it a little tug. He stood without any effort and with me in his arms moved through the cabin, kicking open the door at the end of the room. He threw me down onto the bed in the centre of the small room, and as I landed he grabbed my t shirt with both hands and yanked it over my head. He reached around and unclipped my bra expertly, releasing my breasts, and groaned as my nipples peaked with the rush of cool air. He unbuttoned my jeans and tugged them off my hips, leaving them bunched around my knees. He scooped me up with one arm and flipped me over, planting my feet on the floor and stretching my arms out in front of me on the bed. He leaned into my back and nipped at the skin on my shoulders with his teeth.

“Are you certain that you want to hand yourself over to me Elise?” He trailed his tongue down my spine and over the soft flesh of my arse.

“Yes. Yes. I have never been more certain of anything.” I arched my back, lifting my bottom and offering myself to him. “I’m yours and only yours.”

I yelped as he sank his teeth into my cheek, bringing the tears to my eyes once more. He lapped at the wound before lifting himself up right, pressing his erection into me.  He fumbled with his belt and loosened his trousers, letting his cock spring free, it nudged into my now burning flesh as he did so, and I tried to back up to him, grinding myself against his thighs.

“Ah ah ah.” He stopped me from rocking into him by shifting back and putting a little distance between us as he smoothed his hand over his length. I moaned in disappointment.

“Please...” I wanted him inside of me. I needed to confirm that I was his; I had shifted slightly to the side when he first struck. Hard, piercing pain took my breath away as the edge of his belt caught the small of my back. I tried to speak but couldn’t catch my breath. The warm trickle on my back told me that he had broken the skin and I struggled with the knowledge that he could make me bleed and enjoy it. 

“Don’t...” I finally found my voice and cried out, letting the tears flow fully as the pain took over ever other sense I possessed. He had clearly been gentle with me in the past and I wasn’t entirely sure I could cope with this pain.

“Stay still Elise.” His voice was calm and controlling, and I instantly stopped writhing. I bit my tongue hard to control the tears, to stop myself from crying out. “Would it help if you had something to bite down on?” He asked. It was all I could do to nod. He moved across the room and within seconds was back and placed a rolled up silk handkerchief in my mouth. I clamped down on it and closed my eyes as he moved behind me once more.

“This time, stay still.” He ordered.

I was ready for him this time and I flinched only slightly as the rigid leather tore into my flesh once more. I couldn’t even think about the force behind his swing for it to slice into me the way it was, and though it was the most excruciating pain I had ever experienced, by the time the third strike hit, I didn’t let myself react, I was feeling not the pain, or the moist warmth of my own blood on my skin, but the heat deep within, and the throbbing between my legs. I arched lower and raised my cheeks higher almost willing him to give me more. I heard him moan behind me, and felt him nudge against me as I bucked against him.

“I told you I would hurt you.” He said as he pushed himself against me, slowly opening me up ready to take him. “I told you I would ruin you.” He nudged into me slowly, teasing me as he rubbed my skin, smearing the drops of blood across my cheeks.  “Do you still want me?” He ceased his movement, his swollen head buried in my folds, my body aching for his length.

“Yes!” I cried out. “Yes...I want all of you.” I panted as I rocked, trying with all my might to force him into me. He suddenly thrust forward, pushing me down on to the bedding, holding me down with one hand pressed firmly against the back of my neck. I didn’t move. I was afraid that if I did he might snap my neck in two.

“Then all of me is what you shall have.” He whispered into my ear before lifting his head and ramming himself all the way into me. Our bodies crushed together, he paused slightly before rearing up and driving into me again. Over and over he smashed into me, my flesh raw as it clamped around him, my neck tender where he gripped it and my backside throbbed where he had struck me. But all I felt was pleasure.

A pleasure that fulfilled me completely.

A pleasure that took over my entire being and numbed me from the pain.

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