Alterant (13 page)

“He could if you would help us.”

“I gave my promise to uphold the warding around this castle
and
to assure Tzader’s immortality indefinitely. You expect me to break vows to both of your fathers?”

Brina should tone down her words, but she couldn’t. “I’m asking why you can’t right a wrong. Or won’t. Our fathers had no idea what they were doing to us. My da would
never
have created a ward that barred Tzader from the castle. He didn’t know Tzader’s father was going to ask you to pass his immortality to his son if he died fighting alongside my father and his men. And
nobody
expected our families would be wiped from the earth that day.”

Except maybe Macha.

Had she helped her da place this ward?

Brina hoped to never find out any of that was true.

Macha shrugged her indifference. “True, but it changes nothing. You will produce an heir in one year—”

Wait a minute. How had this gotten so far off course? “Or what? I do believe killing me would defeat the purpose.”

“Spare me the melodrama and the sarcasm.” A mild reaction flowed over Macha’s face that shouldn’t be mistaken as encouraging. She was a female, and a deity, at her best when she had everyone who served her squirming. “I will do whatever it takes to ensure the safety of all Treoir heirs as well as protect my warriors from losing their powers. This castle can never fall to the Medb. The human
world would face destruction like never seen before if the Beladors are conquered.”

That was well understood. But Beladors around the world weren’t the only ones at risk if the Medb killed Brina and took control of Treoir.

Macha drew power from the Beladors loyal to her. Take out the Belador power base and Macha became vulnerable. She’d always been a fair and compassionate goddess, but where was her compassion now?

When the goddess angled her head in a show of patience, her hair lifted, darkened to a deep chestnut color, and adjusted back into place around her shoulders of its own volition. “You don’t understand, do you?”

That might be possible if Brina could get an unclouded answer from Macha, but gods and goddesses spoke in circles. Doing so allowed them to wiggle out of a tight spot verbally.

Brina tried to sound sincere and open-minded when she said, “Please enlighten me, Goddess.”

It must not have sounded as sincere to Macha, who shot her a testy look. “I have been remiss in allowing you to wait so long to produce an heir, but . . . I could not ask that of one so young as you were when your family was killed. But you’ve indicated you’re ready and will take a mate.”

“Not unless it’s Tzader.”

“Why do you make this so difficult, Brina? You will either willingly choose a mate who can pass through this ward, or you will no longer leave this castle in any form and I will not allow Tzader to speak with you again.”

What? “I’ll go mad if I can’t at least travel in hologram or never see Tzader again.”

“Must you always think only of yourself?”

An unfair accusation, but it still nicked Brina’s pride. “I have done my duty as a Treoir descendant since birth. How can you accuse me of being selfish?”

“Oh, you have never failed your tribe, but what of Tzader? Do you expect him to wait forever on a woman he can never have?”

Yes. No.
Brina didn’t know.
I dream of him every night, holding me and making me laugh, just like when we were teens.
She missed his smile, hadn’t seen it in a long time.

That gave her pause.

Was his unhappiness her fault for holding him to a teenage vow?
Was
she being selfish, expecting him to live alone in the mortal world just because she was stuck in this grand prison?

She would wait until the end of time for him, but she’d never force that on Tzader. His happiness meant all to her.

“You care for him,” Macha continued. “But he grows closer to another woman, the Alterant Evalle.”

The ugly sting of jealousy creeping up Brina’s spine was as full of blarney as the goddess. Tzader and Quinn both treated Evalle as no more than a younger sister. “Tzader would never choose Evalle over me.”

She hoped.

“Then why does he always defend Evalle, when the Alterants are an unknown element in our world? His allegiance with the Alterant presents a danger to you. The
castle was warded against immortals, which Alterants don’t appear to be, which means they can breach Treoir’s defenses. They may be half Belador, but what about the unknown half?”

Brina puckered her forehead in thought, arguing, “Our warriors have overpowered the Alterants in their beast state, and Evalle has proven herself a loyal follower.”

At least Brina hoped she hadn’t misplaced her faith in Evalle, since the Tribunal would hold her responsible if Evalle failed to find the three escaped Alterants.

No time to worry about that right now.

Macha’s voice hardened with censure. “Alterants are shifting into beasts
everywhere
in Tzader’s territory.”

“The ones in the past two days don’t have green eyes,” Brina pointed out, though it meant little in the face of so many deaths. But she had a feeling the eye color was significant.

Macha admitted, “Our warriors are destroying these new beasts, but we have lost Beladors to the green-eyed Alterants in the past, and they still pose a threat. Have you considered that the green-eyed ones may be connected to the traitor that eludes our warriors?”

“Why do you say that?” Brina asked, surprised at the direction of Macha’s thinking.

“When Tzader and Quinn were captured by the Medb in Utah two years ago with the Alterant Evalle, the traitor was involved. Just a few weeks ago when an Alterant shifted and killed nine Beladors in . . . what do the humans call that place?”

“North Carolina.”

“Ah, yes. When our warriors died there, word of the traitor surfaced again. Consider the first Alterant that shifted and attacked Beladors six years ago. Tzader believes the traitor Larsen O’Meary was the Belador who had called members of our tribe to confront the beast.”

Aware of the past, Brina had no argument. Thankfully, Tzader and his team had survived that first meeting with an Alterant.

“Even though Larsen O’Meary is presumed dead, a traitor still walks free,” Macha pointed out. “Have you forgotten how one treasonous Belador helped the Medb destroy your family and put you in this situation?”

“Of course not.”

“Then why have you not ordered the only O’Meary descendant to go through a mind probe?”

Brina tried to form words to answer the ridiculous question. “Because we have no reason to doubt young Conlan O’Meary’s loyalty just because his da was rotten to the core.”

“Then there should be no issue with having Vladimir Quinn probe all areas of Conlan’s mind, right?”

How could this woman suspect the O’Meary boy? But Brina knew which battles to fight, and this was not one. Macha clearly wanted Conlan investigated. “I shall see it done.”

“That sounds more like a Treoir leader.”

Brina heard the warning and realized she had to prove to Macha she would always put the future of the Beladors first, even ahead of her own happiness. To prove she thought as a leader, Brina said, “I believe the humans suddenly turning
into beasts and killing are not the same as our green-eyed Alterants.”

“Why?”

“Because neither Tristan nor Evalle shifted and killed humans.” Brina risked bringing up a sore topic. She’d argued against imprisoning Tristan the first time, but the goddess had implied she’d been doing it for his safety. Then Macha had forbidden Brina from speaking about his capture to anyone.

Waving a hand as if to quash the discussion, Macha said, “Only time will tell with the green-eyed ones, but we must find out why these new beasts are surfacing all of a sudden. Instead of searching harder for the traitor who presents a weakness in your defense, Tzader worries too much over Evalle Kincaid. Which gets us back to the problem at hand.”

“I don’t understand what you’re saying.” Because following Macha’s train of thought was akin to tracing the journey of a raindrop in a bowl of water.

“Tzader’s a man with needs,” Macha told her as if Brina needed to hear that. “You think he’s been celibate all this time?”

Brina forced her hands to remain still and not cover her ears against words that gouged her heart. Had Tzader taken another woman in the past four years? The night she’d given her virginity to him he’d sworn his love for all time.

Their fathers had died before Tzader had been given a chance to ask for her hand in marriage.

Brina shook her head. “I don’t believe you.”

“Me? I never accused him of anything. I’m only infusing
logic into this discussion. So you would force Tzader to go on for years with no one to love if you can’t have him. You think love is so selfish?”

Put that way, Brina flinched at the possibility that she was being unfair to him, but . . . she knew the truth in her heart. “Tzader would never walk away from me.”

“No, he won’t as long as you continue to encourage him. He’s a man of honor. Where is your honor? Don’t you care about his happiness?”

“Of course I do.”

“But not enough to free him to choose another?” Macha shot back at her.

“I—” Brina swallowed, trying not to choke on the words honor forced to her tongue. “I would do anything for him . . . even set him free if that was what he wanted.”

“Then prove it by allowing him the chance to decide without the guilt of hurting you. You’re the one who brought up the issue of an heir. Were your motives pure and in the best interest of the Beladors, or only for yourself?”

Who would have thought that immortals got headaches? Brina did, and the one coming on felt as though it might lay waste to her brain.

She lifted her fingers to her temples and rubbed. Of course she wanted to ensure the future of the Beladors, but give up Tzader? Her stomach ached as if two brute hands twisted the muscles. Was Macha right?
Would Tzader move on with his life if he thought that was my wish? Could I speak the words over the shouting of my heart—the words that would free him to choose?

Guilt splashed her anger with cold reality.

Her da and brothers had died defending the Belador legacy and future. Could she not be as selfless with less whining?

She’d accepted her responsibility many years ago.

But she’d always thought the children she bore would have Tzader’s brown eyes and heartbreaking smile.

Not to be ignored, Macha interrupted Brina’s thoughts with soft words of advice. “We face a growing crisis with these Alterants and leave the future of our tribe in jeopardy with each day you delay producing an heir. I am not without compassion for your situation and have a proposal.”

Brina listened with a guarded ear, but she would make any concession for the possibility of having Tzader. “I’m listening.”

“Convince Tzader you are no longer interested in waiting for him. Give him a chance to decide his future without any burden of guilt. If, once he truly believes marriage to you is no longer an option, I am convinced he still persists in wanting you, I would be inclined to reconsider my position on this matter and entertain possible solutions.”

“Really?” Brina hesitated to believe Macha’s words so easily. The goddess wouldn’t blatantly lie to her, but she could turn words into a thousand different shapes and meanings.

“Do you question me?” The goddess stilled.

The fire beneath Macha blazed and grew in fullness.

“No, Goddess,” Brina quickly amended. “I was merely
surprised . . . and overwhelmed.” Could she break up with Tzader and stand quietly by if he walked away and never came back to her? “But why can’t you simply ask him the truth?”

“Because he would cut his arm off before he’d hurt you.”

Brina enjoyed a thrill at Macha’s having to admit just how much Brina meant to Tzader.

Macha added, “And I believe he would relinquish immortality without a second thought to be with you.”

“Then what is the problem?”

“If he has suffered a life-threatening wound from Noirre majik while immortal, the majik may still linger in his body. If so, and I remove his immortality, he may suffer the aftereffects of that wound, possibly even die immediately.”

Brina couldn’t speak. Breathing hurt.

Tzader had fought countless battles against the Medb and been wounded more than once in the past four years. He’d almost died when the Medb had trapped him, Quinn and Evalle in Utah. A Medb warlock had stabbed Tzader with a spear tipped with the only substance that could kill him.

The thought of Tzader risking death just to be with her sickened Brina.

“But,” Macha continued, “let’s say he survives becoming mortal. Then he has to give up being the North American Maistir to live here, which sounds like a non-stop honeymoon, but eventually a warrior needs to battle because that is who he is.”

Macha sent her a pointed look and continued in lecture
mode. “If he manages to get through all of that, Tzader would then face turning old and dying while you age in tiny fractions of the same time, still looking young and beautiful when he has one foot in the grave.”

Brina had considered many possibilities, but in the back of her mind she’d always thought they’d end up immortal together. “You paint a sad existence for us.”

“I only wish to know for sure that what you two have is more than a passing infatuation before I irrevocably change Tzader’s life. And if he did give up his immortality, it would be permanent. Can you in good conscience ask him to make that choice never knowing whether he could be happy without you?”

Brina fought a trembling chin and watched her dreams crumble beneath Macha’s onslaught of reality. She clamped her jaw and stiffened her resolve to find a way to make this work.

First, Tzader deserved to have a choice.

But now that Brina had said she was ready to have a child, Macha would not let that pass. There was no going back. Brina told the goddess, “I accept your proposal. I could never ask Tzader to make a life-altering decision without allowing him the opportunity to choose without limitations. I will set him free.”