Altered Destiny (22 page)

“You have to eat.” Selia fought back her growing annoyance, now tinged with desperation. Jaden wasn’t improving as fast as she’d hoped, and she didn’t know why. Her emotions were complicated by guilt. As soon as he improved he’d have to leave, and she didn’t know how she was going to bear seeing him go. “Did talking with Nathan yesterday tire you so much?”

“No. I simply don’t need any more food.” Jaden handed back the half-eaten bowl of porridge. He searched her eyes as if looking for something.

Selia dropped her gaze. He was weak and somehow vulnerable. She knew—even though he didn’t complain—he was in pain.

“Selia, if there was any other way,” Jaden began tentatively. “I need you to do something for me.”

“What?” She sat on the edge of the bed, but he remained silent. “You told me in the forest that it wasn’t a matter of I save your life, you save mine and now we’re even,” she began. “I didn’t know what you were talking about then. I understand now. I need you to live, Jaden. Please. So stop feeling sorry for yourself and tell me what I can do to make you better!” Her voice had slowly risen with conviction.

Jaden reached up and briefly touched her face. In the golden depths of his eyes, emotions flickered. His voice was soft and hesitant. “I need fresh game.”

Selia blinked. She’d been half expecting a request for some strange root or even an incantation, but fresh game? Did he just not like the food? He’d eaten what they’d given him in the barn readily enough and thrived. “Fresh game?”

“Fresh, as in still alive. A rabbit or a squirrel. Anything with fur.”

She narrowed her eyes then understanding blossomed.
He needs blood.
Why hadn’t she thought of it before? But animal blood, not human? Svistra didn’t need to feed on humans. The thought swirled in her mind until she was dizzy with it. No one knew. A thousand questions flew through her mind, but one glance at Jaden’s expression warned her now was not the time to ask them. It had been a difficult enough request for him to make.

“Alive. I understand.” Selia rose.

Jaden reached and grabbed her hand. “Thank you.”

She nodded, squeezed his hand and turned to the door. How in the hell was she going to catch live food when Nathan wouldn’t let her out of the compound?

Nathan turned to see Selia striding toward him. From the determination in her step, she had something to ask. “Give me a minute,” he told his men, and met Selia halfway.

“I need to talk to you.”

“And good morning to you too.”

“I’m sorry.” She smiled, but her eyes remained guarded. “It’s important.”

Nathan frowned. That meant it had something to do with the Svistra. “Okay. Talk.”

“I need to capture a few rabbits.”

“Rabbits?” Maybe he was wrong. “Why?”

“I’d rather not tell you.”

It did have something to do with the Svistra. “I see. Looking for a slightly less bloodthirsty pet?”

“We’ve had a problem with rabbits in the garden.” She ignored his comment. “I’d like some snares to capture them.”

Nathan shrugged. “The men have been using them for target practice. They make good stew.”

Selia shook her head with force. “I’d like them alive.”

He examined Selia’s face. Whatever she needed the rabbits for was important to her. “You do realize we’re preparing for a war?”

“Yes. Although winter is a ways off, I want to make something warm with their pelts. Your men will ruin the fur.” Her dark eyes turned liquid.

She’s lying
.
But why?
“Okay, we’ll make a few snares.”

“Thank you. Can I borrow a bow and arrow?”

“In a hurry?”

“Can I?”

Nathan thought if Selia had been younger she would have stamped her foot. He shrugged off his bow and unhooked the quiver of arrows at his belt. “Anything else?”

“Yes.” Selia gave him the first genuine smile he’d seen since Oren’s death. “Thank you.”

Selia walked to the garden after retrieving the bow, a few arrows and a piece of cloth that would work like a sack. If she knew Jaden, he’d waited to ask her until his condition was desperate. Perhaps not as desperate as it had been when she’d seen him in the tent—the image of Jaden crouching, staring at her yet not seeing her, flashed through her mind and she shuddered—but desperate enough.

She checked the direction of the wind, nocked an arrow and settled down to wait. How had she not guessed it? She should have known what was wrong with Jaden. In the tent he was starving. She didn’t know how much blood he’d taken from her, but it couldn’t have been enough. Rabbits? The stories Jaden had told her flashed through her mind. Human and Svistra living in peace?

The Svistra didn’t need human blood, just blood. But why didn’t he tell everyone? And why didn’t the other Svistra? She realized she’d raised her hopes when they crashed in startling realization. It wouldn’t matter. The humans still wouldn’t trust the Svistra. The Svistra would still want their lands back. Nothing would have changed.

A movement caught her attention. She waited until she had a clear shot and let go of the string. The arrow flew true, impaling the rabbit into the ground through its hind leg. Selia hurried. She’d seen rabbits chew off their own foot when caught in a trap, and she didn’t want this one to get away. Throwing a cloth over the struggling thing to protect her skin from strong legs and vicious claws, she broke the arrow, picked up the rabbit and almost ran toward Jaden’s room.

Before the door, the guards looked alternatively at the writhing bundle in her hands and her face. Thank the gods one of them was Deigon.

“Open the door, please,” she asked with as much nonchalance as she could muster.

Deigon shrugged, reached over and let the door swing in.

Selia nodded and stepped into the room, pushing the door closed with her foot.

Jaden’s eyes didn’t leave the moving bundle.

Suddenly she felt unsure. “I…I brought the rabbit.”

“It’s bleeding.”

“I shot it through the leg.”

A ghost of a smile touched Jaden’s mouth. Then he met Selia’s eyes. She stepped forward to hand Jaden the covered rabbit. The creature redoubled its efforts and managed to scratch Selia’s hand badly enough to draw blood.

Jaden took the rabbit from her, holding it by the scruff of the neck and expertly avoiding its claws. “Thank you.” His voice was solemn, his eyes guarded.

She hesitated.

When Jaden looked up again, he almost sounded apologetic. “Please, leave now.”

Selia nodded and backed out of the room. “I’ll be back soon.”

Jaden watched her until she closed the door.

As good as his word, Nathan had set up snares in the garden. Selia pulled a few carrots and placed them as bait. One of the men promised to weave a cage of branches for the rabbits. She didn’t mention she probably wouldn’t need one. Guilt tinged her thoughts. Should she tell Nathan why she needed the rabbits? He’d granted a request that, to him, had to seem odd. He’d never guess what they were for. No one would.

She made her way to the rotting log where she and Oren had sat not too long ago. She closed her eyes and, for a moment, enjoyed the sun on her face. The moment was brief. How many would he need?
How long should I wait before returning to the room?
She hadn’t left his side for more than necessary trips to the chamber pot, and the last time she’d slept for more than a few hours had been when the healer had sat with Jaden.

She closed her eyes. He would be well now; he had to be. Then he’d go away.

Her limbs grew heavy. She’d lost Oren. Could she adjust to life without Jaden? Did the two even compare? Somehow they did.

Selia rose and made her way slowly back to his room. She didn’t know what to expect, but not Jaden sitting cross-legged on the middle of the bed with his eyes closed, seemingly at peace. She glanced around but could find no trace of the rabbit, blood or even a struggle of any kind. Everything appeared just as she left it except for a peculiar odor in the air. Her gaze lingered on the fire. By the time her search of the room led her back to Jaden, he was watching her.

“Do you feel better?”

“Much. Thank you. It will take a while before I’m myself again.” Jaden smiled. “This is twice now I owe my life to your excellent aim.”

She shrugged. “If you like I’ll teach you sometime.”

“I would like that.” Strong emotions softened in Jaden’s eyes.

Selia’s face warmed. “The men set up some snares in the garden. I didn’t tell anyone why I needed the rabbits.”

“I knew you wouldn’t say anything if you could avoid it and if you couldn’t,” he paused. “Then you would have had no choice.”

She tilted her head and neared the cot, tentatively touching Jaden’s face. Somehow touching an almost healthy Jaden was very different than touching a weak, invalid Jaden. Her body warmed and her voice lowered to a whisper. “Will you be all right now?” Her fingertips tingled.

Jaden closed his eyes again then opened them. “A few more rabbits and some time…” He smiled. “Yes.”

“When you were in our barn, we never gave you any—”

“No. And I wouldn’t have asked. I didn’t know you as well then. Once or twice, at night, I hunted my own food.”

“Had you been unable to hunt, you would have died?”

“At that time I didn’t have much to live for. But yes.”

“How—er, often do you need to hunt?”

“It varies. Usually once a week.”

Selia thought back. “When we traveled north, did you hunt at night while I was sleeping?”

“No.” His gaze didn’t leave her face.

“Why?”

“I couldn’t leave you alone for that long.”

“You make me sound like a helpless child.” Anger touched her words.

“You are far from helpless, but you aren’t invincible. Besides, you have something that Svistra prize very much. It goes back to the times of the kings’ war.”

“My virginity.” She almost laughed.

“Yes.”

“If I’d known being a virgin would cause so much trouble—”

“It saved your life.”

“
Humph
.”

Jaden cleared his throat. “If I may ask?”

“Please. I think we crossed the line of convention a long time ago. What is it?”

“Why are you still a virgin? I mean, unless you’re quite a bit younger than I assume, it is a bit unusual, no?”

Selia sat on the edge of the bed, curious. “Very. How did you know?”

“Virgin humans have a scent about them. I’m assuming you don’t smell it.”

“No. I can’t.”

“It is a pleasant scent and makes you a prize among the Svistra.”

“So I’ve noticed. Are you suggesting I go and offer myself to some man so I’m not as…enticing to the Svistra?”

“No.” Jaden’s answer was swift and firm. For several heartbeats the only sound in the room was the crackling of the flames.

“I suppose it has something to do with my mother. She was a whore. You know what that is?”

Jaden smiled.

She took that as an affirmative. “I loved her. She was a wonderful woman. But what she did, it just didn’t seem…I couldn’t have. Not even to eat. My mother made sure I never would face that choice. But still, my whole life I had to prove I wasn’t for sale.”

Jaden put a hand on her arm.

“It’s not that I’m shy about it, but who would I have? One of the passing travelers? A soldier? It would feel too much like what my mother did. Someone from the village? I’ve known those men all my life, and they’re like brothers or cousins. I suppose if Oren’s dad had lived he might have arranged something, but as it was…” She shook her head. “Oren and I were on our own, and that was good enough for both of us.”

“You don’t quite fit in with your own kind as I’m a misfit among mine.”

“Are you a virgin?”

“No.”

“Oh.”

“Before Svistra youth leave our mother’s dwelling we are given to the teachers.”

“Teachers?”

“To teach the ways of the body. The men are taught how to please a female, and the females are taught how to please a man.”

Selia struggled to keep her mouth closed.

He chuckled. “This is never done among humans?”

“Well, no. We figure that stuff out for ourselves.”

“You are taught to fight, to cook, sew, hunt, no?” Jaden’s eyes twinkled.

“If you’re in love…” Selia began. She was out of her element.

“That adds to it I suppose, but the mechanics—”

“Enough. I understand.” Her face warmed. It was one thing talking about sex, quite another to go into detail with the scent of sandalwood and musk surrounding her. “It’s my turn to ask a question. The Svistra don’t need human blood to survive.”

“That isn’t a question but I’ll answer what’s behind it. We need blood, but not necessarily human blood. How do you think we survived in the Telige Mountains where there are no humans?”

It seemed obvious now. “But why?”

“I suspect, like with many things, the history of our race has been blurred by time. But when our race was young, we discovered we needed blood to survive. Blood from an animal with fur who bore its offspring live.”

“The mark of the sun god.”

“Yes. The healers have long studied the problem. Our blood lacks something essential found in other creatures. Human blood is the most nourishing and quite frankly tastes the best.” He stopped. “Are you sure you want to hear this?”

Selia nodded.

“Over the years we’ve learned the blood from a still-beating heart is best. Only those who are depraved would feed off a dead creature.”

“But at first Svistra didn’t kill humans?”

“Our races didn’t mingle much. Only the healers who sought knowledge journeyed into other lands and encountered other cultures.”

“What happened?”

Jaden shrugged. “There are many stories, but most of them agree it started with human settlers. Once humans began to seek homes further north, conflict was inevitable. Who was the first to taste human blood? I don’t know. But word quickly spread and after all, we were defending our lands.”

“Have you ever killed for blood?”

Jaden’s golden gaze settled on her. “Yes.”

She swallowed.

His regard didn’t waver. “But I am not proud of it. And, if you are curious, it does have a better flavor and is definitely more nourishing, but not worth the price. Before Svistra acquired a taste for human blood, we lived among and off the creatures of the forest. We were attuned to the land, to its rhythms. We’ve lost that.