Always (6 page)

Liam still hadn’t moved, and Teegan couldn’t take her eyes off him. “I’m sorry,” she broke the silence, making Liam’s head snap up and look at her in anguish. “But, um, I think I’ve heard enough, and I don’t think I belong here.” Feeling out of place and completely unprepared for this bombshell, she left, and Liam didn’t follow. He now had a child to worry about, and a pregnant ex-girlfriend who still wanted him, and she wasn’t sure how she could fit into the picture anymore.

Teegan couldn’t bear to watch him start a family with someone else. She left Digby the following week to start over, regardless of what her parents thought or James and Liam’s pleas for her to stay. Staying would just have hurt too much. She moved to Ontario and eventually enrolled in Niagara College to study art and design. She was alone for almost two years before she met Oliver, whom she was attracted to because he was Liam’s complete opposite, and the rest was history.

Chapter Seven

Present Day

Jagged rocks aligned along the coastline. The moist, salty air was refreshing as the tide slowly rose on the Fundy Shore. It was good to be home again, Teegan thought as she sat on a fallen tree trunk and tried to capture the beauty of the scenery with her sketchpad.

She hadn’t been there in years, and the view was still just as breathtaking as she remembered. This secluded patch of beach had once belonged to Liam’s family, and she wondered if it still did. Seeing Liam again had brought so much back to her, and she just needed a place to unwind. Some of her most precious memories belonged right where she was now, so this seemed like a good place.

Smiling, she turned up her iPod and sang along with Shinedown’s “Breaking Inside,” relating to the lyrics. As she sang, she imagined a boy and his father fishing right where she sat.
Liam! Why can’t I seem to let you go?

She almost fell off the log into the water as large arms wrapped around her. They pulled her close, and Liam’s heat enveloped her senses. He was the one man in the entire world who could make her weak in the knees just by being in close proximity to her. The one man she was trying to avoid because she was too afraid of her emotions.

Oh Lord, he smells so good. Get it together, Teeg. You don’t even know him
anymore.

“Liam?” She sounded breathless and winced as she pulled out of his embrace and turned away. She could not let him see how he affected her, could not risk losing her heart again. It hurt too much.

“Hasn’t anyone ever told you not to sneak up on someone like that? Geez, you just about gave me a heart attack, not to mention an unwanted swim.” Placing a hand to her heart, she turned to face him again, only to have the urge to smother his smile with her lips. He was beautiful, and she missed the taste of him.

“It’s good to see you too.” He chuckled. “And there is no way I would have let you fall in. Hasn’t anyone ever told you this is private property?” She could tell by the glint in his eye he was only teasing, and she hated how easily he could make her smile. As if she were eighteen all over again.

“Yeah, but you see, I used to know one of the owners of said property very well. I have many fond memories of this place, and I just had to see if it was as remarkable as I remembered it.”

“Well, is it?” His face turned serious as he closed the distance between them.

With his closeness distracting her, she whispered, “Is it what?”

Before she knew it, he was lowering his head, and her breathing turned rapid.
Be careful what you wish for.
His breath warmed her cheek, and all she could think about was the taste of his soft, plump, and delectable lips. She met the kiss halfway, moaning at how good he felt pressed against her before she came back to her senses and pulled away before it got too heated.

“What the hell am I doing?” she groaned before taking a step back. She brushed her fingers against her lips, surprised at the jolt of electricity she felt from such a brief touch. “Liam, I’m so sorry.” As she tried to get past him to make a quick escape into solitude, Liam grabbed her hand.

“Teegan, wait, please don’t go.”

Her hand trembled, and she hated that he was about to see her cry, but she couldn’t help herself. He must have felt it because his hand jolted back as though she’d given him an electric shock. “Are you okay?”

“It’s just when you grabbed…” She looked away, wiping her eyes. “Look, I’m fine. Just a little jumpy, I guess.” She tried to smile but knew he could see right through the façade. She sighed. “I’m not sure how much James has revealed about me in the last few years, but my ex got a little rough sometimes, and I guess I just panicked momentarily when you grabbed me. I’m sorry, Liam. It was stupid and—and I don’t know how else to explain it.”

He tensed and fisted his hands at his sides. “Now I understand why James would get so pissy anytime I asked about you. Where is this guy? I mean, you’re not still with him, are you?”

She shook her head. “No. In fact, I came home to get away from him. I was so stupid.”

“Come here, Sunshine.” He tugged her to sit with him and wrapped his arms around her. “I hope I never run into him. I’d like to teach him how it feels to be roughed up.”

“Oh God, you sound just like James.” She tried smiling. “But I don’t think he’s stupid enough to come after me. He knows James would kill him if given the chance.”

“It must have been pretty bad, then, huh?”

She nodded again. “The last time in the hospital was the worst. Oliver abandoned me there. He was too afraid he’d get arrested. Anyway, James was my emergency contact, and I hadn’t even known they called him until he barged in my hospital room demanding answers. It wasn’t pretty.” She grimaced. “Big bad James wanted to kill Oliver on the spot, but I wouldn’t let him. We argued, and he left pretty angry with me. I wish I’d been smart enough to leave with him then. But you know, when you’re put down long enough, you start to believe you deserve it. Like I said, I was stupid and quite honestly a little afraid to return here.”

She looked up and almost gasped at seeing the anguish plastered on Liam’s face. “Liam?” She stroked the side of his face. “Are you all right?”

“What did he do to you?”

“Does it matter?”

“God, yes. Teegan, I’m so sorry. This should never have happened. You shouldn’t have been with him to begin with. I should have made you stay.”

“And what was I supposed to do, Liam? Was I supposed to sit around and watch the man I loved start a family with someone else? My God, I’d like to think I was strong back then, but that killed me.” She stood, and so did he. “I just couldn’t do that. Don’t you understand?”

“Teegan, Lucy left when LJ was an infant and never looked back. She never wanted to be a mother, she just wanted revenge against me for rejecting her. The problem was she succeeded. When I finally figured out she wasn’t coming back, I filed for sole custody and then went to find you. But by the time I finally did, I saw you with him, and you looked so happy that I couldn’t take that away from you. I wish I would have known how wrong I was.”

“You came for me? But—but—when?” She was at a loss for words. What Liam said was a lot to absorb. All of those years separated from each other, all of those years with Oliver now felt as though they were for nothing. “That bitch!”

“Uh-huh, I’d say that about sums her up.”

“I mean, it was bad enough to do what she did to the two of us, but to LJ?” Teegan began to pace while she vented, and Liam just stood and watched her let it all out. “How can a woman not love her own child? Hell, I’ve spent only a minimal amount of time with him, and I can honestly say that child is nothing but loveable. Poor LJ…”

“I think the feeling is mutual.”

“What?” Teegan stopped pacing to look at him.

“LJ. I think the feeling is mutual with LJ.” He smiled. “I think you might be his first crush.”

“Oh, yeah, right.” She giggled. “You’re not serious, are you?”

“Very, actually. All he seems to talk about besides football is Dylan’s pretty aunt and how cool she is.”

She wasn’t sure how to respond to that, so she decided to lighten the mood by teasing him a little. “Well, you can’t fault the kid for having spectacular taste, can you?”

“That I can’t.” He laughed loudly before stroking his thumb back and forth across her palm and lifting it to his mouth to kiss.

“I am sorry about Lucy,” she whispered, “and for all that time wasted.” She looked up at him. “Are you seeing anyone?”

“No one I want to be serious about.”

She smiled. “Of course you are. You’re gorgeous and available. How can you not be seeing women?” She hadn’t meant to speak her thoughts out loud and blushed.

“Gorgeous, am I?” He winked. “Coming from you, that means a lot.”

“Yeah, right.” She looked away again. “Do you think we can be friends again?”

“Friends and hopefully a whole lot more, Sunshine. I want to get to know you again. To see if maybe we can have what was once there. I haven’t been with a woman that can make me feel the way you do, and just so you know, I don’t plan on letting you go this time.”

She tensed at hearing his possessive tone. It made her stutter. “Liam, I—I want you too. It’s just—I’m not sure I’m the same person I once was. I’m not sure I can be her again, and I need to take things slow right now. God, I wish we could just pick up where we left off. I want to more than you know, but I need to figure some things out first. Are you willing to start over from scratch?”

“If that’s what you need.” He was by her side again, and his Adam’s apple bobbed as he swallowed. He slowly lifted his hand, giving her time so she could back away if she needed to. But she didn’t, so he caressed the side of her face, before his lifting his other hand and tracing her bottom lip with his other thumb. “I’ll promise to make you as happy as I possibly can, Sunshine, and if we need to start off as friends again, then I’ll take what I can get. I want you to also know I plan on doing everything I possibly can to change your mind. I want you, Teegan, and I promise to do my best to never hurt you again. I hope one day you can forgive me for allowing Lucy to deceive me and break us apart. Let me love you again, let me prove how I feel, how I’ve always felt. Let me protect you, and I’ll show you how you deserve to be cherished.”

“You’re impossible.” She placed her finger over his mouth to silence him and smiled. “But right now, I think I’d just like to shut you up for a minute. You are the most stubborn, arrogant, and unbelievably sweetest man I’ve ever laid eyes on, and you’re very confident.” She reached up to caress his face in return. “And right now I’m feeling a little braver than before.” Her lips touched his, and the spark she’d felt ignited again. She moved her hands up his torso and tangled them in his hair as she traced his lips with her tongue.

Liam opened up for her, letting her lead him but couldn’t resist sucking on her tongue before she finally entered his mouth to deepen the kiss. They moaned in unison, and she had never felt more at home. God, she loved this man but couldn’t find the courage to let him know it just yet, so for now she decided to live in the moment. Her tongue met, thrashed against, and caressed his with an equal passion, and she knew good things would come if he was willing to be patient with her.

“Oh God, Liam. That was just—that was…” At a loss for words, she decided to just kiss him again, needing more.

Chapter Eight

If she was being honest, football was like a foreign language. She couldn’t understand the game for the life of her, but she was there to try to show her support for the kids. That was also why she’d only played toss with her nephews and LJ and loved it because they had fun anyway.

She envied Liam, James, and Susan. They had such beautiful kids, and she hoped one day she’d be lucky enough to be a mom herself, even though it was a long shot.

“Go Dylan!” she cheered as her nephew caught the ball and started running, then winced when he got tackled and piled on.

Susan tensed up and stood while Teegan held her arms out for Carter to jump into.

“Come here, big boy. Let’s let Mamma worry in peace.” She chuckled after seeing Dylan get up and wave at them before running off to where LJ and the rest waited. “So tell me, li’l man, are you gonna play for the Peewee Scallops too, just like your big brother?”

Carter nodded and began sucking his thumb. The poor little guy looked tired. She kissed his forehead and pulled him closer to cradle as she watched the rest of the game.

The Peewee Scallops were up against the Saint John Marines with a score of three to seven, and from what she could gather, the tackle turned out all right because Dylan made it out unscratched and kept hold of the ball.

“Did we miss anything?” Liam asked as he and James joined them in the stands with drinks and snacks.

“Not much.” Teegan moved over to make some room for James to pass.

“Not much, huh?” Susan took a deep breath. “They tackled my baby. I’m telling you, James, I don’t know if I can take watching him get roughed up like that every Sunday. We should have signed him up for baseball instead.”

Teegan and Liam chuckled as James tried to calm her down.

“He looks good on you, by the way.” Liam playfully nudged her in the arm and looked down at Carter, who was comfortably asleep in her arms.

“Why, Liam, are you implying I’d look good as a mother?” She smiled. “I’m actually beginning to doubt it’ll ever happen.” Shrugging, she looked toward the game again.

“Oh, Sunshine, you’d look good no matter what, and I think you’d make a great mother. Do you want kids? I mean—” he swallowed loudly, “—it could still happen. You shouldn’t doubt it if it’s something you’d like one day.”

“You know you’re the only one who’s ever called me that.” She cleared her throat.

“Sunshine, it’s been way too long.”

She playfully nudged him back. “It is something I’d like. I’m just at a point in my life where it feels like a long shot, so for now I’ll just have to borrow my nephews and LJ.” She winked at him. “Is that okay with you?”

“By all means, be my guest. LJ hasn’t had very many mother figures in his life. In fact, besides my sister, who visits like once a year, and Susan, he hasn’t really been around women at all. LJ seems to adore you almost as much as I do.” He shrugged. “Hell, Teeg, I’m grateful to you for taking an interest. It could be good for him, and believe me, I wouldn’t just pawn him off on anybody. He’s been hurt without a mother, and I’m careful.”

“Oh, Liam.” She hugged him with one arm, trying not to disturb Carter. “It must have been so hard being a single father, but he’s clearly a great kid, and you’ve done a great job.” She pulled back and let him keep his arm around her as they watched the next play. “I’d be happy to spend time with LJ.”

“I know you would, Sunshine. I trust you to care for him.”

“Good to know, Liam. It means a lot. Thank you.”

***

James, Susan, and Liam all seemed to be having a parenting moment as they discussed the game with the coach. Teegan felt out of place and wandered off to congratulate Dylan and LJ. They may have lost the game, but they’d given it their all. “Hey, guys, you played a great game.”

“Yeah, but we still lost,” Dylan whined.

She sat in front of them on the field and tried her best to take the pouts from their faces. “But did you have fun? Because that’s what’s most important. You guys were terrific. Remember, this was only the first game. You’ll both get to play against those Marines again this season, and we’ll just have to look forward to a little butt-kicking the next time around with the Scallops coming out on top. Am I right?”

“I guess so,” Dylan mumbled, but he looked as though he felt better after the pep talk, so she ruffled his helmet hair.

“And what about you, LJ? Can I count on you to have fun and kick butt the next time?” She smiled. “You really did play a great game today.”

“Thanks.” He nodded and then looked toward Dylan with a smile. “Man, your aunt is so cool.”

Teegan laughed, making him blush, and stood up. “You two ready to head home?”

They nodded. “But we’re going out for pizza with LJ’s dad.”

“All right, then you should both go let Liam know you’re ready.”

“Hey, Teegan, why don’t you come with us?” LJ asked. “I’m sure my dad won’t mind.”

“Okay, then.” She smiled at him. “But maybe we should ask him first.”

LJ’s face lighting up was short-lived as soon as he caught sight of his father. “Oh no, not her again,” he groaned.

“What?” Teegan turned to see Liam talking with a beautiful brunette and sighed. Her heart felt as if it dropped to her feet, and she wanted to curse herself for feeling that way; hated herself for it. Technically, Liam was free to see whomever he pleased, and she had to get over herself. It was easier said than done, though. “Um, why the long face, LJ? He’s only speaking to the woman. There’s no harm done.” She tried to sound cool about it.

“Nuh-uh, he’s seen her a couple times, and she’s comin’ around him more often.”

She exhaled long and loud before she replied, hating that she saw green and trying to push her jealousy away. “Well, your dad is a pretty great guy. You said so yourself. I can imagine he makes a lot of friends. Is there a reason you don’t want her around?” Teegan could think of a few, but this wasn’t about her.

“I guess not.” He looked away. “Let’s just forget it.”

“You know you can talk to me, right?” She placed a finger on his chin to make him look at her. “About anything, at any time, okay? I’m here.” After he gave her a nod, she turned to look toward Liam again, and this time he looked back at her. “Come on. I think your dad might be ready now.”

The brunette still stood beside him, and she moved closer as Teegan approached with LJ and Dylan. Now a master at hiding her feelings, Teegan composed herself long enough to say, “I think these boys are ready for that pizza you promised.” She plastered on a fake smile and extended her hand to the brunette. “Hello, I’m Teegan.”

The woman ignored her attempt at playing nice. “Yeah, I know who you are. We went to high school together.”

“Did we?”

“Cindy Foster. I was the prom queen.”

“Oh my God, Cindy! I’m sorry I didn’t recognize you. You look great.” Teegan genuinely smiled this time and tried to stifle a laugh at the cliché right in front of her.
Always the prom queen.
She placed her hand over her mouth and looked away for a second. LJ and Dylan moved closer to her, and when she turned back around, Liam was staring at her with a sparkle in his eyes that said he knew she was laughing on the inside.

James and Susan approached them just as Cindy said, “Did someone say pizza? That sounds really good. You don’t mind if I come with you, do you?” She put on a fake pout for good measure, and Liam looked uncomfortable.

“But I already asked Teegan to come with us,” LJ whined.

“Well, it looks like Cindy will be going in my place.” She winked at him. “Sorry, buddy, maybe next time, okay?” She gave him a hug as a silent gesture for him to stay strong before stepping back. “I’ll be seeing you around, LJ. Dylan, I will see you when you get back.” She couldn’t look at Liam and refused to put him in the position of making a choice.
I can’t take the chance that he’d reject me.
So she’d made it for everybody by declining. Instead, she linked arms with Susan as they walked away and waited for James to catch up to them when they reached the car.

“You okay?” Susan placed her hand on Teegan’s arm in a sympathetic gesture, and Teegan nodded.

“It’s just overwhelming sometimes. Being around Liam brings up so much of the past. We’re just so natural together. I forget my head sometimes and feel like I’m back to ten years ago again. We had some good times.”

“I know. I can’t wait until the day the two of you finally realize you were made for each other. Geez, instead you’re here when you should be with them. Poor LJ looked so disappointed when you allowed Cindy to go in your place. Why’d you do that?”

“Because it would have been too crowded and awkward. I didn’t want Liam to have to make the choice. I was afraid he’d pick her, and I know it’s silly, but I’m not the confident girl I used to be. Receiving a rejection from Liam of all people would shatter me. No matter how small it was.”

“Boy, that Oliver sure did a number on you, didn’t he? I mean, I know it was bad and that he physically hurt you, but I never imagined the emotional strain that went along with it. I wish it had been sooner, but I’m glad you got away when you did.”

“You don’t know the half of it.” Her voice shook from just thinking about her time with Oliver. Between that and the mixed emotions she felt around Liam, she began to tear up because she felt so stupid. She couldn’t wait for the day when she’d be confident enough to let go of her fears. “I’m sorry.” Teegan turned away to wipe her eyes. “I really don’t want to talk about Oliver. Can we talk about something else?”

“Sure, honey.” Susan hugged her. “I know exactly what you need. How about I get a sitter for tomorrow night? Better yet, I’ll make James sit with the kids, and we’ll have a girls’ night out. We can call Claire and a bunch of others to come along for drinks and dancing. What do you say?”

“Hell yeah! I’d love to see Claire again, and a drink sounds real good right about now. Thanks for getting me all emotional, by the way,” she teased before hugging her sister-in-law. “I was just kidding Suzy Q.” Teegan wiped her eyes again and noticed James and Liam across the parking lot, looking as though they were wrapping up whatever they were talking about. Both looked concerned, and Liam kept glancing in her direction as if he wanted to approach her before James put a hand on his arm as if to stop him. James then jogged over to them.

“Uh-oh!”

“What?” Susan turned around as Teegan pointed toward him.

“You okay, sis?” he asked as he reached them.

“Fine, why?”

“Well, from over there, it looked like you were crying. And me and Liam figured…”

“You figured what? That I was upset over Cindy?” She laughed loudly. “Of all the arrogant, conceited…” She poked him in the chest, gently pushing him back. “I’m fine, James, and me getting emotional had nothing to do with Cindy. Don’t go giving the girl an ego she doesn’t need. She has enough of that for this whole town.”

“Okay, then what is it?”

“James,” Susan warned, “I brought up Oliver, and I should have known better. Don’t go getting her upset again by forcing her to talk about it. I know you’re worried about her, but—”

“But she’s right here beside you listening. I’m stronger than you both think, you know.” She was frustrated with them at that point for talking about her as if she wasn’t present. It made her feel like a child. “Have yourselves a good ride home. I’ll see you all when I get there.” Teegan stomped off before she said something she’d regret and wished she’d brought her own car to the game instead of hitching a ride with James.

“Hey,” James called out. “Where do you think you’re going?”

Without looking back, she flipped him the bird. Having all of these mixed emotions about coming home again and finally being free, along with her feelings for Liam was bad enough without James assuming she was upset over Cindy. Yeah, Cindy being into Liam bothered her. Hell, any woman being interested in him would bother her, but her emotions had nothing to do with the former prom queen and the man she loved. They came from having gone through hell and back. Why couldn’t anyone understand that?