Always For You (Always Love Book 1) (21 page)

“He’s here! And he’s beautiful. And Rilla’s fine. My God, she was amazing. She was like this little warrior. She just blew me away. He’s nine pounds, ten ounces and twenty-two inches long.”

We surrounded him, giving his mom dibs on the first hug. “Congratulations!”

“Thanks, all of you. Give us about twenty minutes, then you can come see them both. I’ll come back and get you.” And then he was gone again, down the hall to be with his wife and his son.

Half an hour later, we stood around Rilla’s bed. She looked tiny and lost in the white sheets, but her face was shining with the kind of joy I’d never seen before. Just seeing her made my heart ache in an odd and unfamiliar way. It was as though she had crossed the boundary into a land I didn’t know, and I felt left behind. Again. Left out of a club that included only those lucky enough to find her soul mate.

With no little pride, Rilla moved aside the blanket from the bundle in her arms, and we all leaned in to get a better look at the newest Wallace.

“His name is Noah James.” She spoke with pride. “Noah, meet your grandma and all your aunties.”

His small face was red, but he wasn’t crying. Instead, he seemed to be surveying us with interest, as though he were faintly surprised to be in a world inhabited by other people.

We took turns holding him, and when he lay in my arms, I stared down into his deep blue eyes. “Oh, Rilla. Oh, he’s beautiful. He’s perfect.” I bent to touch my lips to his cheek. “And he smells so good!”

She laughed. “I know. I just want to keep breathing him in, like a drug.” She looked up at Mason. “Is Piper on her way?”

“She sure is. I called Millie right away, and they’re heading up here.”

“Good. I can’t wait for her to see her little brother.” She leaned back on the pillows. “I feel like I could sleep a year.”

“Baby, you’ve earned it. You were a freaking rock star.”

Meghan glanced at me and then at Rilla. “We should go now and let you rest. Don’t worry, we’ll come visit at the house. And I’m going to make you up some meals to put in the freezer, too, so no one has to cook for at least a month.” She kissed Rilla’s cheek. “Congratulations, Mama.”

Behind me, I heard the unmistakable clearing of a throat. When I turned, a man I recognized only vaguely stood in the opened door, along with an older woman I didn’t know. Both looked uncomfortable, as though they expected to be turned away at any minute.

Rilla let out a long breath. “Dad? Gram? You’re here.” Her voice trembled, and suddenly the air in the room felt electrified. I didn’t dare move, lest I interrupt.

And then Mr. Grant took one step inside. “I hear I have a new grandson. Seems to me a man ought to meet his grandson.” He took another tentative step, until he was standing by Rilla’s side. Stiffly, he bent and kissed her forehead. “Rilla.”

Mrs. Wallace caught my eye and jerked her head to the side, toward the doorway. All of us except Mason and the Grants slipped out.

“Never in all my life would I’ve believed that man would come to his senses.” Mason’s mother shook her head. “The days of miracles are not yet ended, girls. Believe me. Well, like I said, girls, hope is a beautiful thing, and there are no such things as lost causes. That man in there swore he’d never talk to his daughter after she married Mason, and yet here he is.” She sighed.

“It’s a good news day, indeed.”

Mrs. Wallace elected to stay in the waiting room so she could be there when Piper arrived, so I drove home by myself. I felt slightly numb, as though my mind didn’t know quite how to process everything that had happened over the past twelve hours.

Rilla was a mother. Ali was going to have another baby. Meghan—well, I felt horrible for her loss, but still, she had Sam. She was married. She wasn’t alone.

And then there was me. Definitely alone. No husband, no babies, no prospects. I had a house, co-ownership of a veterinarian practice, and a good friend who lived upstairs. Years of emptiness stretched out before me, days when I’d be the one in the waiting room, not the delivery room. Nights when I’d have to face going home to a quiet, lonely house. My throat tightened, and my chest felt constricted.

By the time I got home, I was so wound up that my hands were shaking. I could hardly open the door. Smith met me there, his big smile of welcome fading when he saw my face.

“Maureen, what’s wrong? Did something happen? Rilla? The baby?”

I shook my head, but I couldn’t speak yet. I dropped onto the couch and covered my face with my hands. After a few steadying breaths, I found my voice.

“I’m a horrible person, Smith. A horrible, terrible, bad person.”

I felt the couch dip as he sat down beside me. “No, you’re not. Why would you say that?”

“Because.” I sucked in a deep breath. “Because Rilla had a beautiful, healthy baby boy today. And Ali announced that she’s pregnant. Again. And even Meghan’s married, and settled, and—and I’m happy for them, God, yes, I am, I love them, so I’m thrilled, but for the love of Mary, when is it going to be my turn?”

The words unleashed the flood I’d been holding back for the last hour, and now it gushed forth, tears flowing out of my eyes and down my face as my shoulders shook. My whole body ached, and I bent in half, rocking back and forth as I sobbed.

“I’m the oldest, and I have nothing to show for it. Nothing. I’m alone, and I’m always going to be alone. I’m going to be the crazy aunt they all have to come visit even though no one wants to see her, because she has stale cookies, too many cats and her house smells funny. Like moth balls.”

“Maureen.” Smith wrapped his arms around me. “Reenie, honey, no. Calm down.”

“Oh, you have no room to talk.” I kept rambling, a kind of stream-of-consciousness blubbering. “You were engaged. You could have married the beautiful Felicia and had all sorts of bouncing Boston babies and made your mom happy, but you didn’t. But still, you had the chance. I’ve never had the chance. I’ve never had someone care enough to give up anything for me. No boyfriends. No children. For God’s sake, I don’t even have a dog, and I’m a fucking veterinarian.”

“Maureen, you’ve got to stop crying. You’re just—you’re upset. You’ve had a long day. You’re tired—”

“Why not me?” I pushed his arm away and stood up. “What’s the matter with me? Why doesn’t anyone ever choose me? Why am I not good enough?”

“Maureen.” Smith gripped my upper arms and gave me a little shake. “Listen to me. You
are
good enough. God, do you even hear yourself? And how can you not think—how can you not
know
—how important you are to me? How can you not know how long I’ve cared for you? How long I’ve fucking wanted you more than anyone else in the world? How long I’ve fucking
loved
you, Maureen? How long I’ve been so deep in love with you that I can’t think about anything or anyone else?”

And then without any warning, he was kissing me. Smith was kissing me, and the world stopped. His lips devoured mine, aggressive, demanding and unrelenting, and his arms locked around me, pressing me so tight against him that I couldn’t feel where he ended and I began. Every pulse in my body beat in time with his heart, and at last, everything was right.

I wrapped my arms around his neck and opened my mouth beneath his, letting him in.

I
DIDN’T MEAN TO KISS
her. Honestly, I really didn’t. But when she walked in the door, she looked shell-shocked, as though she was barely holding herself together. Right away, I was afraid something had happened with Rilla or the baby. Maureen had texted me a little over an hour ago that the baby had arrived safely and that she was waiting to see both him and Rilla before she came home. But still . . . all I knew was animal deliveries, and sometimes in those, things went wrong after the baby was out.

But it wasn’t that, apparently, because when I asked her, Reenie shook her head. And then, she’d pretty much . . . exploded.

That was the only way I could describe what happened. One minute she was silent and still, and then next she was crying, shaking, rocking and ranting. Most of it didn’t make sense to me. Some of it did, but it was so ridiculous that I didn’t know how to answer her.

And then she sobbed out the most idiotic part of all.

“What’s the matter with me? Why doesn’t anyone ever choose me? Why am I not good enough?”

It was at that point that something in
me
snapped, and I grasped her arms. Without planning it, everything I’d been holding back from telling Maureen came spilling out of my lips, as if some of her exploding had jumped over to me. And then, as I told the woman I loved how I felt—well, let’s be clear; I practically yelled it at her—I looked down into her face. Her huge brown eyes were wide with surprise, her cheeks were wet with tears and her lips had parted. There wasn’t even a question at that moment that I was going to kiss her.

I’d been planning this kiss for a long time. A long fucking time, since that night in the library back in freshman year. And each time I’d thought about kissing Maureen, it was very much like what I’d described the night after her first date with Tim: slow, with building heat and intensity. But that wasn’t going to happen tonight.

No, tonight slow was off the table.

Instead, I consumed her. I took her mouth with mine, kissing her with complete abandon. I nipped her bottom lip and then sucked it into my mouth, using the very tip of my tongue to circle it until Maureen moaned. Sliding my hands to her back, I held her against me, my cock surging when I felt her boobs smash into my chest and her hips press into my body.

She circled my neck with her arms, tilting her head so that I could get closer to her mouth. I walked her backwards until we hit the wall and then, using that as leverage to keep her pressed into me, moved my hands to her face, my fingers skimming her cheekbones while my thumbs drew small circles at the corners of her lips.

I became aware with a jolt that Maureen was grinding her center against me, as though she couldn’t get close enough. I gripped her hips and lifted, nudging her thighs to circle my waist, and just like that, the point of her greatest need was right up against mine.

Oh, yeah
. Every coherent thought raced away from my brain as my body took over, rejoicing that at last, finally, the right woman was in the right spot.

Maureen must’ve picked up on some of that, because her fingers dug into my upper back as she trailed open-mouthed kisses down my neck, her tongue darting out every now and then to taste and to feel. She murmured something, but I couldn’t quite hear it.

“What was that, baby?” I molded my hands to the ass I’d been dying to touch for fucking ever, and she shifted in position, somehow bringing her even closer to me. And just that subtle movement lined her up even better, so that she was pushing herself along the hard column of my dick, where it throbbed under my jeans. Throbbed wasn’t a word I’d ever used, but yeah, tonight it applied. Every freaking part of my body was throbbing and on fire for this woman, and I couldn’t touch enough of her fast enough.

“I said, you taste so fucking good. Like . . . like salty caramel spread over chocolate cake.” She lifted her head so that her eyes were level with mine. “Do you know how I like to eat chocolate cake with caramel icing?”