Always & Forever Vive (The Undergrad Years #4) (10 page)

“Agreed.” Lex blew a watermelon-scented bubble from her neon pink gum.

“Yeah. Let’s be quick with this. I have to meet Diego after.” Blake nodded and crossed his arms.

“Vive?” Taddy elbowed me as Lex’s bubble popped.

“Fine.” I huffed in sarcasm, minutely shaking my head. “But seriously, how long is this nightmare going to shadow our lives? I want to put a stop to it today. Right now! I cannot believe she’s equating our misfortunes to karma, simply because we’re
born
into money.” Rolling my eyes, I didn’t want to be in some book with the Kennedys. I knocked on Jay Austin’s door.

Gathering me in his arms for a hug, he planted a kiss firmly on my lips, then greeted the gang and let us into his apartment.

During the semester, I’d been to his co-operative (one his late mother had left him a year or so before) at the legendary Beresford, a white-glove-service, luxury-doorman building, a few times.

He’d told me the apartment had originally been built as a four-bedroom home and was later converted into a one-bedroom, thus providing an over-the-top walk-in closet, gourmet kitchen, and library. The Central Park-facing living room with fireplace was connected to the dining room.

Filled with old world charm, the place felt a bit museum-like to me. As if Jay Austin didn’t really
live
there, but rather used it more as a mausoleum to remember his mother, whose cremated ashes were on the nearby fireplace.

“Poppy isn’t here yet. Can I make you some drinks?” he asked.

“The usual, please,” I replied, mentally taking note of how clean and pristine everything appeared.

“I’ll have the same.” Taddy agreed. “Anything to take the edge off.”

“Lex. Blake. That good for you, too?”

They nodded as we each took a seat on the lush velvet blue sectional sofa. Jay Austin headed into the kitchen to make our drinks.

“This place is fancy,” Blake commented.

“Next to the El Dorado and San Remo, the Beresford is one of the most prestigious residential buildings in town,” Taddy informed us.

She should know. When she was a kid, before her parents had dropped her off at boarding school (and never picked her back up), she and Lex had lived at the San Remo a few blocks away with their families.

“Thank my stars Mom moved to SoHo. I just hate this part of town. It’s too uppity for me.” Lex sighed, chewing on her gum.

“Certainly brings back some painful memories,” Taddy added with somberness in her eyes.

I smiled at my besties, hoping for the best outcome, and muttered, “Who knows? Maybe Poppy can be bought out of her book deal and the rubbish will never see the light of day.”

I’d certainly brought my checkbook.

“Your mama would
love
that,” Blake admitted, and I agreed.

A few minutes later, Jay Austin returned with a tray of drinks and some nuts, olives and other snacks.

“Thanks, babe.” I took a sip, stuck a finger in the glass to stir the ice, then took a big-ass calm-yourself gulp, and then another.

A half an hour or so must’ve passed with no sign of Poppy.
Damn her.
We were on our second or third round of drinks, the olives and nuts were all eaten, and so were the chips.

“I’m already tipsy.” The cocktail had gone straight to my head. Foolish me. “Guess I should’ve eaten dinner before I came.” I’d been so focused on what the girl had to say about us in her damn book, I couldn’t do anything except get dressed and be there.

“Do you think she’s going to stand us up?” Blake asked, unbuttoning a notch on his shirt. “It’s warm in here.”

“I don’t feel so good,” Lex said, tucking her blonde hair behind her ears as perspiration beaded her forehead.

“Me, either.” I stood, hoping this would stop the rush of heaviness going to my head. I made my way over to the artwork, photos of what must’ve been family members hanging on the walls.

Everything became unusually quiet as I tapped one of my heels.

Hardwood floors with crown molding decorated the room, along with a baby grand piano in the corner. Sterling silver frames, black and white photos, candid pics along with family portraits. “Who’s that?” I asked, clearing my throat, pointing to a woman with two boys on her lap as my mouth suddenly felt dry.

“Mother,” Jay Austin replied, walking slowly in my direction. He took the drink from my hands and set it on a nearby ledge. Pushing himself gently against the hollow of my back, he massaged my neck. “Feel good, babe?”

Yesss.
“I have a knot…yes…right there. That feels…so good.” I smiled girlishly while his thumbs worked their magic over my tense shoulders. Suddenly, I felt a sense of exhaustion.

I glanced at my besties who remained on the sofa. Blake’s eyes appeared sleepy. Poor guy was probably up late the night before with his lover, Diego. Taddy and Lex were growing quiet, Taddy rubbing at her temples, while Lex had stopped chomping on her gum.

“Who’s the boy in the pic with you?” I asked. Something about him—maybe his blond hair, or his expressive eyes—looked familiar to me.

“That’s my brother. We were babies then.”

“You never told me you had a brother…”

“Half-brother. We have different fathers and last names.”

“Does he ever come to New York? I’d love to meet him.” About to yawn, I covered my mouth quickly.
I don’t know what’s come over me.

“Not anymore.”

“Where’s he live?”

“He passed away a few years ago.”

“Oh, Jay Austin, I’m so sorry to hear that.” I whipped around to face him.

His handsome features, usually warm and welcoming, seemed stoically smooth and expressionless with an extreme coldness I’d never seen on him before. Glancing over his shoulder, I noticed my besties passed out on the sofa.

“Looks like Poppy isn’t gonna show. We should probably get going.” I grabbed his hand. It felt cold against mine.

“You—killed—him.” His voice stammered in my ear.

A sudden ringing in my head prevented me from hearing him correctly.
I seriously need to lay off the gin.
For a second, I thought he’d said I’d killed him. “What…did you say?” Everything seemed to go in slow motion.

“My brother’s name was…
Sanderloo
.”

“No!” I shouted, gasping for air, pushing him to the side while trying to side-step around him. My left heel caught on the Oriental area rug and I tripped, falling flat on my face.

As I lay there, unable to move my legs and hands, it felt as if I’d been roofied all over again. Then Charmaine’s words came back to me.

Trust no one!

That was the last thing I remembered.

Next thing I knew, I was in some type of a playroom with Baby Rose.

Wide-open spaces surrounded us. A place for children to learn and socialize. There was a mural of an elephant and a spaceship on the wall. On the opposite side of the room were billiards and foosball.

I was dreaming…

“Mommy!” she cried out as I approached.

With blue eyes identical to my own, her blonde hair, almost white, matched mine, too.

“My little girl. So beautiful. Look how you’ve grown.” I picked her up, spinning in a wild circle, and hugged her, noticing a tingle of happiness running through my veins. Inhaling that toddler smell. Her soft skin felt as pure as silk. “The last time I held you in my arms, you weighed eight pounds, five ounces. My heavens, I’ve missed you, Baby Rose.”

“Rose,” she repeated her name and pointed to a potted flower sitting on a nearby table.

I nodded, bouncing on my feet with glee to have finally found her again. “That’s you, petal. My flower. My girl.” Tears streaked my cheeks as she squirmed in my arms. “I’m sorry I gave you up. I wasn’t ready to be a mother. I thought I was doing what was right. I’ve never gotten over having to give you away. How could I?”

All that depression, which had consumed me over the years, the pain, and my addictions, all of it, seemed like such a horrific price to pay.

She cooed at me.

“I wasn’t given a fair shot when you were born. I want a second chance. Please, Baby Rose, will you give me one more chance?

Her eyes started to fill with tears. Maybe she sensed how nervous I was to be with her. I was totally terrified. At the hospital, back when she was born, they’d said giving my baby up for adoption was a wise, self-sacrificing, and wonderful thing to do.

I realized I’d sacrificed myself for her. A large part of me had died the day I gave away my parental rights.

Just then, a woman, must have been in her mid-thirties, appeared at the doorway.

Baby Rose turned and cried out to her, “Mama.”

My heart sank as she reached for the woman, kicking me to break free of our embrace. My jaw clenched, throat constricted.

“Mama,” she repeated as I ignored the tightness in my chest and lowered her to the floor.

She took a few steps away from me and toward the woman.

My heart felt as if it were tearing in half. “Please, Baby Rose, come back to me. Stay with me. Don’t leave me.” I started to cry.

Her cute legs stumbled at first, but she found her way across the room.

I couldn’t take my eyes off my baby. It would be the last time I’d see her. I knew it. I’d had many dreams like this before, dreams where she’d been abducted and I’d found her, but never one where her adoptive mother faced me. It took every ounce of strength I had in me to make eye contact.

“Thank you,” the woman said with so much gratitude and happiness in her voice. “Thank you for giving me such a beautiful daughter.”

I hugged myself, watching Baby Rose run into the woman’s arms.

“You’re welcome,” I cried back in her direction. “I love you, Baby Rose. I’m so sorry. I hope one day you can forgive me and not hate me. Please, don’t hate me.”

Scratch.

“Please, don’t hate me,” I repeated.

An hour or so must’ve passed before I regained consciousness. At least it felt to be about that. I’d had a dream. Baby Rose. My girl.

Scratch. Scratch.

Opening my eyes, we were in the library, sitting in high-back chairs, which were thrown against each other.

Taddy and I were tied back-to-back. I could tell, because her long nails kept scratching at my arm. Lex usually bit hers and Blake’s were short. My wrists hurt from what was probably rope tied around them.
My fingers are going numb.
An unnatural stiffness took over my body.

“Vive, you awake?” someone muttered, sounding to be Taddy.

“Ah-huh. What happened?” My eyes watered as I stuttered out the words, “What’s going on?”

“Look at us,” Lex said in a jumpy tone, sitting tied to the chair on my left. She tried to kick her feet out. “Fuck. This is un-fucking-believable.”

“There’s no way we’re getting out of here.” Blake, who sat to my right, started to sob. “Look at Poppy.”

My neck strained as I jerked my head back in his direction. From my side view, I could only make out a sliver of Poppy. She was slouched in a chair between him and Taddy.
Oh. No.
“Is she…dead?” I couldn’t turn any further to tell if she was okay or not.

“I dunno.” Blake’s voice became more and more raspy as his body started to shake with tremors. “God. Please forgive me for all of my sins. I’m sorry for sleeping with Diego. The sex was just so good. Please, let homosexuals go to Heaven—”

“Blake. Morgan. Don’t talk like that,” I scolded. “We’re gonna get outta here.”

“How?” Taddy asked, clearing her throat. “Just how do you propose we do that?”

“I don’t know yet, but we will.”

“Shit, Vive. How can you be so certain?” Lex echoed Taddy’s concern, only with more skepticism, which infuriated me.

Inhaling deeply, a wind of fury rocketed through me. “Because I didn’t save Blake’s life by taking Sanderloo’s, give up my baby for adoption, spend a year in juvie, get into Columbia University, dodge a penthouse explosion, survive a plane crash, recover from being roofied, and fall in love with Seneca this semester just to have it all go to Hell at the hands of some horny, dumb, spoiled lunatic out for revenge over an accident that totally wasn’t our fault.”

“I love when you get all worked up like this,” Blake complimented, hope filling his voice.

“Why?” I asked, unsure what he meant exactly.

“Cause that means we’ll get out of here. You’re the most determined girl I know.”

“Here. Here,” Lex agreed.

I didn’t cry. I wanted to, but if my friends believed in me that much then I had to, as well. Right? Instead, I pushed my back closer to Taddy.

“Use your nails. Untie me.”

“I’m trying. Almost there.”

“Where is Jay?” Lex asked.

“I hear him. He’s in the kitchen. Sounds as if he’s looking through the cabinets for something.”

Wiggling my wrists, I felt the rope start to loosen. “Keep going, Taddy. I’m almost free.”

“Poppy. You alive?” Lex jerked her shoulders so hard it caused all of us to sway forward. “We’re getting outta here. Wake up!”