Always in My Heart (23 page)

Cissy was much calmer than she’d been before she’d joined the WAAF, but she still liked to hold centre stage with her outrageous stories and her flirting eyes. And as for her boys – Bob was so tall and broad, the image of his father already, although he had yet to turn fifteen – and Charlie, darling little Charlie, with his mischievous grin and his freckles, how he’d filled out in the long, long year since she’d seen him.

Peggy turned to Sal, who was struggling to keep Danny from climbing all over Harvey. ‘Your auntie Vi has done a marvellous job with my boys,’ she said softly. ‘They look so well and happy.’

‘She’s done a good job on all of them,’ said Sal as she retrieved Danny from Harvey’s back and wrestled to make him sit on her lap. ‘We was – were hoping to
have Ernie with us and all tonight, but ’e’s got a bit of a cold on ’is chest, and Vi thought it best to keep him down there. We’ve promised to send him a special parcel so he won’t feel ’e’s missed out.’

Peggy squeezed her fingers. Sal’s East End accent was still noticeable, but it was all part of her charm. ‘Don’t forget where I am, love,’ she said. ‘There’s always tea in the pot if you fancy a natter like the old days.’

Sal grinned. ‘I’ll remember that when I ain’t – haven’t got a pile of dressmaking to do and Danny’s on ’is best behaviour.’ She put the little boy back on the floor where he immediately made a beeline for Harvey again. ‘He’s a right little tearaway,’ she sighed happily. ‘Just like ’is dad.’

John Hicks laughed. ‘I heard that. And as your punishment, you’ll have the first dance with me once Ron gets that gramophone going.’

‘Gawd,’ she replied, raising her eyes to the heavens and giggling happily. ‘There go me toes.’

As the last morsel of chocolate cake was devoured along with the coffee, the table was pushed back against the wall and the chairs dotted about the room. Ron, Frank and Jim argued over the best way to get the old gramophone going, and as soon as the first notes of ‘Little Brown Jug’ drifted into the room, nearly everyone took to the floor.

Peggy was happy to sit and watch as the youngsters enjoyed themselves, and it seemed Daisy liked the music too, for she was kicking her legs and laughing as
she sat in Peggy’s lap. Rose Margaret was wiggling her bottom and laughing like a drain as Cissy and Alison danced with her, and Anthony and Suzy were smiling into one another’s eyes as they moved about the floor.

‘That’s a bit of a surprise,’ murmured Anne as she sat next to Peggy. ‘I hope Suzy knows what she’s letting herself in for.’

‘I think Suzy will be quite capable of dealing with your aunt Doris,’ she replied. ‘By the way, why isn’t she here tonight?’

Anne blushed. ‘We didn’t invite her,’ she confessed. ‘I’m sorry, Mam, but she always puts a damper on things and we didn’t think you’d mind.’

Peggy patted her hand. ‘Not at all,’ she reassured her, ‘and not having Doris around means those two can have fun without any fear of her spoiling it.’ She gave a sigh of happiness that was also tinged with sadness, for no gathering was really complete without her other sister Doreen. ‘I wish your aunt Doreen could have come. She always liked a good knees-up.’

‘We did telephone her office in London, but she’s away with her boss on business. The girl on the switchboard said she’d be sure to give her the news about Dad, so I expect she’ll ring when she can.’

The evening progressed and got rather raucous as the bottles of wine and whisky and beer flowed, and inhibitions – what there were of them – were forgotten in the cause of making sure Jim and Frank had the best send-off they could provide. Ron danced the waltz with a flustered, giggling Mrs Finch, while Cissy did
the jitterbug with her father. Fred the Fish proved to be an expert at the Lambeth Walk, and Frank managed to get Pauline round the floor without crushing her toes.

Anne and Peggy put their young ones to bed, and then joined in the fun. Jim swept Peggy into a quickstep which left her breathless, and Ron grabbed hold of Alf’s wife Lil and showed everyone that dancing wasn’t just for the young. Bob steered his sister Cissy round as if he was doing penance for some heinous sin, while Charlie quite happily allowed the vivacious midwife, Alison, to clasp him close while she taught him how to waltz.

The clock on the mantelpiece struck midnight and Ron called for silence. ‘Fill your glasses,’ he ordered. ‘I wish to make a toast.’

‘Ach, bejesus, Da, not one of your endless speeches,’ protested Frank, who was very unsteady on his feet.

‘I’ll talk for as long as I want,’ said Ron, as Martin and Anthony went round the room topping up glasses. ‘To be sure, ’t’will be the last time for a wee while that I’ll get the chance, so it is, and I mean to have me say.’ He rather spoiled the effect by tripping over the dog and almost landing in Cordelia Finch’s lap.

‘Get on with it, Da,’ laughed Jim. ‘You’re wasting good dancing and drinking time.’

‘Aye, well, I’ll have me say anyway,’ he said, glaring at his son from beneath his bushy brows. ‘I’m proud of both of you, so I am. You’re fine men, so y’are, strong and straight and true, and we love the bones of you. Take our love with you, know that you’ll always be in
our hearts wherever fate and the Army takes you, and may God bring you both safely home.’

There wasn’t a dry eye in the room as everyone raised their glasses and murmured, ‘God bring you both safe home.’ Silence fell as they all drank.

Ron placed the stylus on the record and the sweet voice of Vera Lynn floated into the room: ‘There’ll be Bluebirds over the White Cliffs of Dover’.

Jim took Peggy in his arms as Frank reached for Pauline, and the four of them danced while everyone stood and watched with tears in their eyes. And then, two by two, they all joined in until the song was over.

As silence fell once more, they formed a circle and sang ‘Auld Lang Syne’, with as much gusto as they could manage, and then ended up in a group hug.

It was sometime later, after their guests had gone home and everyone was asleep upstairs, that Jim turned to Peggy in their large bed and drew her close. ‘I’m a lucky man,’ he murmured into her hair. ‘And I’ll carry tonight with me for every second until I come home.’

Peggy closed her eyes as she pressed her cheek against his broad chest, and prayed that he would come home – soon – and all in one piece.

Peggy lay awake in Jim’s arms long after he’d fallen asleep, the rise and fall of his chest and the steady beat of his heart against her cheek soothing her. She didn’t want the night to end, didn’t want to waste even a second in sleep, for this was the last time – possibly in years – that she would have him all to herself.

And yet, all too soon, the cockerel crowed as the sun lightened the sky and Jim began to stir. She could hear Daisy whimpering in her cot at the end of the bed, and the soft footfalls of someone coming down the stairs. The house was waking, the dreaded day had begun.

Jim watched as she changed Daisy’s nappy and brought her back into the bed to feed her. When Daisy had finished, he took her in his large hands and held her against his naked chest, rocking her gently back and forth as he told her softly how much he loved her.

Peggy dragged on her dressing gown and let them have this special moment to themselves while she prepared for this awful day. Having managed to get into the bathroom before Cissy, who usually took an age in there, she had a good wash, brushed her teeth and hair and was downstairs within a few minutes. The house was stirring despite the late night they’d
all had, and there were voices in the kitchen, and the delicious smell of frying bacon was drifting into the hall and up the stairs.

Peggy quickly went into her bedroom to get dressed and found that Jim was already up and in his dressing gown. Daisy was back in the cot, wide awake and laughing up at him as he pulled faces at her.

‘I’ll not be putting that uniform on until the last minute,’ he informed her as she struggled to pull up her corset. ‘The train doesn’t leave until midday, and I aim to lounge about like a man of leisure for as long as I can.’ He eyed her quizzically. ‘What the divil are you wearing that thing for? You’ve not an ounce of spare flesh to hold in.’

Peggy was a bit red in the face and hot from her struggles. ‘It isn’t decent not to wear a corset,’ she panted. ‘Things wobble about, and at my age it’s unbecoming.’

He gave a great roar of laughter that startled Daisy and made her whimper. ‘Lord love you, Peggy Reilly,’ he said as he placated his tiny daughter, ‘d’ye not know that it’s the wobbly bits I love best?’

‘Well, I don’t,’ she said, as she hunted about for a pair of stockings that didn’t have too many darns in them. ‘If you’ve nothing else better to do, take Daisy into the kitchen and put her in her pram while I finish getting dressed.’

‘But I like watching you get dressed,’ he teased as he waggled his dark eyebrows.

She blushed to the roots of her hair and shooed him
out of the room. With the door firmly closed behind him, she leaned against it for a moment, battled the awful urge to collapse into a complete soggy heap on the bed, and got on with dressing. There would be time for tears when he was gone – but until that train had left the station she would plaster on a smile and damned well keep it there.

Breakfast was bedlam, for Frank and Pauline had stayed overnight, as had Anne, Martin and Cissy. With the five girls, Ron and Cordelia Finch all trying to help cook the breakfast, amuse Rose Margaret, stoke the fire and wash the dishes from the previous night, they kept tripping over one another. Harvey had taken refuge beneath the table, Charlie and Bob were outside with their father inspecting the chickens and collecting eggs, and Martin had tucked himself away in a corner to read the newspaper while he smoked his pipe.

Peggy put Daisy’s pram and playpen in the hall to make room, and as it would be impossible for fourteen people to sit round the kitchen table, got Cissy to help her prepare the one in the dining room. ‘How are things at the airfield?’ Peggy asked.

‘Pretty ghastly,’ replied Cissy with unusual solemnity. ‘We’ve lost so many of our poor brave boys – boys we’ve known since the start, boys we cared for. It’s so hard to see them leave, and then to count the planes back in again, knowing that only a few have made it home.’ She gave a tremulous sigh. ‘The new intakes are getting younger and younger, some of them not much older than our Bob.’

‘Oh, Cissy. How can you bear it?’

She tried to make light of it with a shrug. ‘One just knuckles down and tries not to think too much,’ she replied. ‘But it’s awfully hard when it’s someone you rather cared for.’ Her hand trembled as she set a knife and fork on the table. ‘James bought it last week,’ she said softly. ‘His plane was shot down and the chaps that saw it said there was no sign of a parachute before it crashed.’

‘Oh, darling.’ Peggy put her arms round her daughter as she remembered the lovely young man she’d brought home last summer.

Cissy drew back from her embrace and blinked away her tears as she rather forcefully blew her nose. ‘I’m fine, really I am, and it’s selfish of me to burden you with my troubles when you’ve got Dad and Uncle Frank to worry about.’

‘We’re all rather in the same boat,’ said Anne as she came into the room with the clean cups and saucers. ‘I never stop worrying over Martin and my heart’s in my mouth every time the telephone rings. But we all have to learn to keep smiling through and make the best of it if we’re to win this war.’

Peggy embraced both her daughters and hurried back to the kitchen before she let the side down by bursting into tears. The noise and kerfuffle would drown out the treacherous doubts and fears that assailed her, and if she kept busy she wouldn’t have time to think. She would get through today – would soldier on no matter what. If Anne and Cissy
could do it then so could she, and to hell with Hitler.

Breakfast was leisurely as well as noisy, and everyone enjoyed the bacon and sausages that Vi had sent with Anne from Somerset, along with the lovely yellow butter which they smeared on their toast with some of Pauline’s homemade marmalade. Copious cups of tea were drunk as Bob and Charlie told their father about their jobs on Vi’s farm, their village school and Bob’s dream to own a farm himself one day.

Anne regaled them with stories about her voluntary work with the local WI, who’d turned out to be a jolly bunch of young farmers’ wives who possessed a very earthy sense of humour, which manifested itself in rather risqué ideas for fundraising – like selling kisses, and doing bathing-belle fashion parades in wellington boots.

Rita, Fran and Suzy had to leave for work, so they said their goodbyes and hurried off, their eyes suspiciously bright despite the smiles. Moments later, Jim and Frank left the dining room to go and get ready for their journey. The party was over, the laughter now muted. It was almost time to say their own goodbyes.

Peggy and Pauline sat close to one another. They didn’t need to say anything, for their thoughts were attuned – but Peggy knew her sister-in-law was remembering when she’d had to say goodbye to her three sons at the beginning of the war, and her heart went out to her, for she must be finding it almost impossible not to think of the two who had not come back. She silently took her hand and squeezed her
fingers, and Pauline nodded in understanding, her bright little smile as forced as Peggy’s.

It was clear that both men had also decided to put a brave face on things, for they came into the dining room in their Home Guard uniform and shining boots, and stamped to attention, snapping off a very smart salute.

Harvey barked at this unusual behaviour, and Charlie pulled him close and soothed him, his own little face quite pale as he regarded his father and uncle who looked so very different all of a sudden.

‘Right, you ’orrible lot,’ roared Frank, who’d once been a sergeant major, ‘prepare for parade. You have fifteen minutes and the last man in the hall not fully dressed and ready will be on charge.’ He leaned towards a rather flustered Cordelia. ‘That does not include you, Private Finch,’ he said in more temperate tones. ‘You are excused any charge this morning, but you must be prepared in time to travel in my truck.’