Always In: The Shore Series Book 2 (6 page)

"But I wasn't sure how you felt about me, and I was scared. But for the first time in my life I knew exactly what I wanted. I wanted you, either way. Friend or lover and I told you that if you didn't feel the same about me, I'd rather have you in my life as a friend than not have you in my life at all. I meant it. I still do." He let's go of my hair and I hoist myself up from my seat. He grabs my arm when he sees me struggling. A look of worry washes over his face.

Tears come down my face, because as he stands here, I wish things were different. I wish I could remember loving him. I wish I could feel something other than hopelessness because I know he's terrific. He is a good man.

He wipes my face with his thumbs.

"Don't cry. It's not your fault. Everything will be fine. I'll miss you, Harlow, but I’m used to missing you." He takes his hand away from my face.

"I gotta go. Please take care of yourself. I know you'll do great teaching this year, and I know you'll do great at getting better. You have my number. Please use it if you need me and I'll be in touch with Craw about how you're doing." His lips come down so close to mine, I think he's about to kiss me, but instead his lips find my cheek, and I know one of my tears have reached them. "I...I can't promise myself that it will be easy just to be your friend, but I know this is the way it has to be."

Then Raphael Cruz walks away and I feel defeated.

***

So I survived Labor Day weekend in Sandy Cove. I’m not so sure the conversation with Cruz leaves me feeling any better, but I let him know I wanted us to be friends. Not sure how responsive he is going to be to that. His head was lowered as if it pained him to raise it. By the slouch of his strong shoulders, I could tell he was more than disappointed in our meeting. His steps were slow, yet determined, as if he needed to be away from me as quickly as he could be. Most of all, he looked as if he felt defeated, too. Was I the enemy to him in some way now? Or was it just too painful for him to be with me in any capacity? I can tell how hard it is for him. Maybe being friends will be even harder, but maybe with time, and us not being around each other, he will just take the memories he had with me and tuck them away. Accept it’s over. For me, I have none. It's easier. I hope he finds someone to love him for the person he is. Maybe someday I'll find that too, not anytime soon, but for now I have to stay on the path of getting back to living my life. Healing.

A teacher’s first day back to school is okay. Basically we just sit in the auditorium for a brief time. The principal talks about things going on for the upcoming year, any new curriculums or new protocols we need to know, and an introduction to any new teachers or staff new to our school.

Willow drives me in because I'm not yet released to drive. We sit there greeting our fellow teachers we haven't seen since last year. I prepared myself for all the hugs and questions about my accident. I thank everyone for the cards and flowers and well wishes. I really am so blessed to work here. The people at Grayson-Elders are the best. I do remember them and the way they welcomed me when I began there last year.

As our principal tells us to take a seat and starts his speech, welcoming us all back, but it's so damn dark in this auditorium and Willow's half asleep next to me. He goes on about new initiatives to improve test scores, looking at last year's data to see where we have improvement needed. I nudge Willow when I hear a slight snore.

"What…what the hell? Oh Christ, what is he going on about?"

I whisper to her, "Changes to protocol on fire drills and safety drills. Exciting, exciting stuff." We both snicker and get a look from one of the trollish lunch ladies.

She swipes a finger underneath one of her eyes. "I'd rather be visiting my vagina doctor than be sitting here listening to this." I stifle back a laugh.

Willow yawns and asks the question I have been waiting for her to ask me since 7:10 this morning. "Wanna go to The Barn after we blow this joint and get shit faced?"

I roll my eyes at her, and with my focus still on the podium, answer in a whisper, "It's 9 a.m. for God's sake, Wills. Can we get through setting up our classrooms first and try to avoid falling asleep here in these seats?"

She tucks a stand of hair back in her bun and takes out a new bobby pin to readjust the flyaway pieces.

“I’ll do my best. But he’s not helping me with my sleepiness.”

He finishes his spiel and I’m with Willow, this tea I’m drinking is not helping with the four hours of sleep I got last night. My phone buzzes and it's Craw. I glance down at his text:

Wills text me. beers @ barns 4pm.

I look over at Willow with the phone still in my hand and flash the text from Craw to her. She shrugs her shoulders. She's so damn sneaky. Just when I thought Principal Sanders was done, he continues. Putting away my phone and rummaging through my bag for something for my headache that’s suddenly come on, I hear him begin to introduce the new staff.

"And now I would like to introduce our new 7th Grade Science teacher. Please help me in welcoming to Grayson-Elders, Mr. Daniel Mathewson."

I suddenly feel a sharp elbow to my rib. "Holy shitballs. Will you look at that?"

"Ouch, Willow. What the hell!" I look up after she eyeballs me.

I can't really see too well because it's so dark in here. I squint and I see what she's elbowing me about.

Tall.

Really tall.

Dark blond from what I can see.

Wearing a dress shirt with a tie and a vest.

Okay. So?

I turn to Willow. "Yea, and?"

"Jeez what is your vagina on hiatus or something? He's fucking hot, Harlow."

I’m still squinting. I find my glasses and stick them on for a better look.

Yes, he's handsome and looks young and sophisticated.

Then he speaks.

In an accent.

A British accent.

Willow's tongue half hangs out of her mouth, I have to practically shut it for her.

"Good morning. Thank you so much for having me. I’m very excited to start the new school year. It's quite different than the school where I previously taught at in England, so...well, just thank you all and I look forward to teaching here at Grayson-Elders."

I drop my tea and it spills all over my dress. I hop up and some kind of horrifying sound comes from my mouth. Everyone around me turns to look as I try and soak up what I spilled with a few napkins Willow hands me. As I try my best to get a hold of the situation, that’s when I hear Principal Sanders say my name.

Fuck me.

"Ah, well since she's standing up already and she was next on my agenda to address, everyone, let's give a round of applause to Ms. Harlow Hannum." Everyone starts clapping and thankfully they have no idea what I just did. This damn place is too dark anyway.

I give a shy smile and a wave and sit my embarrassed ass down as quickly as I can.

Willow leans over in my ear. "Nice job there, coma head. And I thought I'd be the one having to change my panties after hearing that guy talk." She winks at me and I cover my eyes. Principal Sanders continues to speak.

"Late last spring, Ms. Hannum gave us quite a scare as most of you know and we are all so glad she is back with us, healthy and happy. Welcome back Ms. Hannum."

The faculty smile at me and I just want to go hide under a bridge somewhere. Good Lord, help me.

When the meeting is done and everyone is excused to go set up their classrooms, Willow helps me maneuver my crutches through the aisle and down toward the hallway. When we get to my classroom and I take a seat in my chair, she slams the door and she looks like she's about to pass out.

"Oh. My. God. Did you see that shit? Did you get a good look at that guy? Did you hear him speak?" I just go about my business, unpacking a box and taking inventory of what's inside my desk.

"Harlow, you are just going to sit there and not say anything about that guy? What in the hell has gotten into you lately? Wait...I can answer that. Nothing! Your hymen has probably grown back and now you're a twenty-four-year-old virgin."

"Oh, good Lord, Willow. He's a guy. So what? Yes, he looked handsome. We see good-looking guys all the time. What's the big deal?"

She walks to my desk and leans her hands on the edges of it and gets down near my face.

"What's the big deal? I'll tell you what the big deal is. That guy is a certifiable panty dropper." She walks away toward the window and I sit back in my chair. Oh, my Willow is the queen of dramatics. I hear a slight knock on the door and Willow's back is still to me as she gazes out the window, still going on about how I need to get laid. The door to my classroom opens with the greatest of ease and in walks Daniel Mathewson. He hears what Willow is saying without her even knowing he's there. I put my finger up to my mouth for him not to say anything.

"I mean, my God, Harlow, I'd take his British arse right into that parking lot, get him in my BMW and show him the goods. I'd fuck that man six ways to Sunday, and upside down, and all around. I'd even roleplay and talk in his accent. ‘Oh, please sir, shag me harder than I’ve ever been shagged before. Oh, yes, sir, do me sir. Please, sir. Then take me out for some tea after you spank my bum and call me Sally.’" She does her best accent and I cover my mouth as to not laugh out loud. Daniel Mathewson does the same.

Good sense of humor he has already.

Daniel Mathewson is tall, I mean really tall. He has to be over six foot three. Thin, but a strong athletic build I assume. His hair is dark blond with slight touches of gold and light brown. It looks mostly colored that way from the summer sun. Ironically, his eyes almost match his hair. The skin on his face appears smooth and slightly tanned. His lips, peach in color and full. Small creases surround the corners of his eyes. They're subtle but are there. He has to be a little older than me and Willow. I’m guessing thirty? Maybe twenty-nine?

Willow finally takes a breath, and I motion for him to go with my hands and then to knock again. He does and that's when my crazy friend finally turns around.

"I’m very sorry to disturb you ladies. I just wanted to personally introduce myself since we will be teaching on the same floor. Ms. Hannum, is that right?" He extends his hand to me as I nod.

I shiver.

Why?

Why did I just shiver?

I pull my hand away but I’m not able to take break my gaze from his amber-colored eyes.

Finally, I will myself to.

"Yes, but please call me Harlow."

"Harlow, what a lovely name. Suits you well if you don't mind me saying so."

"Why thank you, Mr. Mathewson."

He interrupts me. "Oh, no please call me Daniel. And you are Ms. Taylor. Spanish, right?"

Willow almost sprints to shake his hand but for some odd reason when he asked her name, his eyes are still on me.

"Yes, nice to meet you, call me Willow please. And if you need anything, don't hesitate to ask."

She let's go of his hand after shaking it profusely about a hundred times. His eyes still focus on me then to the crutches beside me.

"I’m very sorry to hear of your accident, Ms. Hannum, I mean, Harlow. Mr. Sanders had filled me in on your situation briefly when I interviewed for the position. I’m quite pleased to see you doing well." His smile is unlike any I’ve ever seen. Bright, friendly, warm.

"Well, thank you so much, Daniel. It's been a tough road but it's getting better every day. I appreciate your concern." We smile at each other, never breaking eye contact, and my belly feels...it feels, kind of fluttery, if that's even a word. I look up at Willow, who looks to me then to Daniel.

"Well, I best be on my way. I have lots to do. Ms. Hannum, I shall meet you in the parking lot after school and we are going out afterward. Remember, I drive and we are going out for cocktails ’cause I am in the driver’s seat."

"Oh, is that your BMW out in the lot there, Ms. Taylor?"

In a sultry tone she answers Daniel, "Why yes it is, Mr. Mathewson."

"Interesting. Looks like it gets around and has lots of road miles on it. You know what I mean, here, there, upside down, and all around. She looks like she gets lots of what do you call it? Wear and tear?"

I can't help not to laugh. I may have even snorted and Willow doesn't get it. She has no idea what he's talking about. She flips back a piece of her blonde hair that's gotten in her eyes and walks to the door.

"Okay, well then, Har, I'll see you later. You need anything before I go? Try not to walk around too much. Save it for PT this week."

Daniel, smiling at me as he leans against the chalkboard tells her, "Oh, no worries Ms. Taylor, if there's anything at all Ms. Hannum needs, I'll help her for the time being." She winks and heads out the door.

Silence surrounds us. I look through some papers as he pushes himself off the chalkboard and stands beside me at the desk. I feel a bit awkward, and nervous, and I have no idea what to say next. I’m at a loss for words, for questions even though I probably have a thousand for him.

"So, um how long have you been in the States?"

That's all you can think of, Harlow? Dummy.

"A little over a year. I live in Princeton. I am renting a house in North Ridge. Quite nice, too. How ’bout you?

"I live in Princeton as well. I bought my home a little over a year ago."

"Yes, Princeton is quite lovely. I love downtown. I’m a silly bloke who's a sucker for a good pub and a good cinema and you have such nice ones in Princeton. But stopping for a pint after work sounds good, too.”

"Cinemas?"

He laughs. "I’m sorry, movie theaters. We call them cinemas."

Oh God, I just sounded so dumb right there. What the hell is wrong with me?

"Yes, of course, Cinemas. I’m sorry. I knew that. My brain now-a-days. Sometimes my mouth doesn't catch up with it right away." I turn away from him a bit embarrassed.

"No worries. I always say only lovely things come out of lovely mouths." He gives me a megawatt smile and I smile back at him, feeling my cheeks blush, and my skin feeling warm and clammy. Maybe I need to eat or something.