Always on My Mind (22 page)

“Don’t sound so horrified. We’re nothing like each other. In fact, I can guarantee you would
love
my quiet, calm, librarian sister. Everyone does, especially Sophie’s pub-owning, tattoo-covered husband, Jake.”

He raised an eyebrow. “How’d they possibly end up together?”

“Sophie and Jake have been in love with each other since they were kids, but neither of them wanted to admit it until they finally gave in and had a one-night stand at my brother Chase’s wedding. Sophie got pregnant with twins and the rest is history.”

By now, he wasn’t terribly surprised at the way Lori acted as if something like that would be a perfectly natural progression for a relationship to take. She didn’t expect life to be normal, or by the book.

“My brother Gabe is just a little older than me and Soph. He’s a firefighter in the City and recently married Megan after saving her and her daughter Summer from a bad apartment fire last year.” With barely a breath between sentences she explained, “Summer is an amazing eight-year-old who made my brother Zach take her new puppy for a couple of weeks while they were gone on vacation. He ended up meeting Heather, who’s a dog trainer and wanted nothing to do with him. But then her dog fell in love with his puppy, and Zach realized he couldn’t live without Heather either, so now they’re engaged.”

His head was spinning with names and details. “The dogs are engaged? Or are you talking about your brother and his dog trainer?”

“Oooh,” she exclaimed, “Summer would
love
it if we had a little ceremony for the dogs, too. Good idea!” She paused for half a second before jumping to what seemed like a totally random question. “Do you like baseball?”

He gave her a look that said she should know better. “I’m a red-blooded American male. Of course I like baseball.”

“But since you’re from New York, you’re probably more of a Yankees fan than a Hawks fan, right?”

“Are you kidding? After seeing Ryan Sullivan pitch up close, I—” The last names suddenly clicked into place. “Don’t tell me your brother is the guy responsible for the Hawks winning the World Series this year?”

“Last year, too,” she confirmed with a happy smile. “He just got engaged to his best friend from high school. Vicki is an awesome sculptor. So awesome, in fact, that one of my other brothers hired her to work on his last movie.”

Grayson had thought he was catching up, but now she was losing him again. “You have a brother who works on movies?”

“I should make you guess this one.” She waited expectantly for him to figure out who the hell in Hollywood she could possibly be related to, before finally scrunching up her nose and sighing. “I don’t know why
nobody
ever sees the family resemblance. I’ll give you a hint.” She pretended she was holding a gun with her free hand and pointed it at him.
“All the right friends in all the right places can’t save you now, can they?”

“Jesus,” he said as he realized her brother was Smith Sullivan, one of the biggest movie stars in the world. “Is there anyone you
aren’t
related to?”

“Well,” she said just slowly enough that he realized she was going to hit him over the head with yet another whopper of a sibling, “you know the wine we had with dinner the other night? My brother Marcus owns Sullivan Winery, and—”

“There’s an
and?
”

Lori started humming a song he’d heard on the radio approximately a thousand times in the past year. It was catchy and well written enough that somehow he wasn’t sick of it yet. “You know that song, right?”

“Who doesn’t?”

“Marcus’s fiancée Nicola wrote it. And sang it.” She lifted her hands to his chest. “But before you totally start freaking out—”

“I’m not freaking out,” he said, but she ignored him, of course.

“—since I haven’t noticed that you’re all that into photography, you probably haven’t heard of my brother Chase.”

“I was on the board of directors for the International Center of Photography in New York City,” he growled. “Of course I know who Chase Sullivan is.”

Had he really been stupid enough to think that he could have uncomplicated, no-ties sex with Lori
Sullivan
?

Hell, in everything he did or saw or listened to for the rest of his life, he’d think of her and her family.

“And you know that my father died. I was only two, but my mother and older brothers tell the most wonderful stories about him, so it feels like I have memories of him, even though I really don’t.”

He pulled her against him, into the place he always wanted her, with her body pressed close, her cheek soft in the crook of his neck. When she’d told him about her father before, he hadn’t been kind, hadn’t told her, as he did now, “I’m sorry.”

“I am, too,” she said as she wound her arms around his neck. “Now will you tell me about your family?”

“It’s pretty much the opposite of yours. I don’t have any brothers or sisters. My father is still working the stock exchange and my mother helps run half the charities in the city.”

“They must be so amazed with your farm, with everything you’ve done here to make such a difference in feeding an entire community.”

He shook his head. “They haven’t seen it.”

“How could they not want to come see what you’ve created here?” She looked extremely insulted on his behalf. “I mean, I know it’s different from what they’re used to in the city, but a little mud isn’t going to hurt them.”

She was such a fierce defender of him, so ready to take his side. When, what, how had he ever done anything good enough to deserve this time with her? And how could he possibly find a way to keep her here with him for longer than two weeks without her resenting him for keeping her from her family, her career, her real life?

“I’ve never asked them to come,” he admitted.

“Oh, Grayson.” She lifted his hand to her lips and pressed a kiss to his palm. “Don’t they know better than to wait for an invitation when the only thing that works with you is just showing up and refusing to leave? How come Sweetpea and I are the only ones who have ever figured that out?”

All day, all night, Grayson had wanted to kiss her, but never more than he did right then, with her sweet emotions clear as the night sky in her beautiful eyes.

Leaving the hand she was holding between their chests, he threaded the fingers of the other through her soft hair. She was already tilting her mouth up to his as he lowered his down onto hers.

Every time he kissed Lori and tasted how fresh and sweet she was, Grayson felt as though he was being bathed in warm sunlight on a perfect summer day. And even now, as he kissed her beneath the moon and the stars, that warmth moved through his veins, pumping through a heart that had been cold for so long.

He never wanted to stop kissing her, never wanted to let go of the beautifully warm and sweet girl in his arms. A week ago, he would have made himself let go of her anyway. But her conversation with her sister was a reminder that she’d be leaving soon enough...and he wasn’t even close to having his fill of her yet. So instead of letting Lori go, Grayson pulled her closer.

And when she gasped her pleasure against his lips, it was the most beautiful sound he’d ever heard.

* * *

All the next day, Lori thought about the kiss Grayson had given her in the moonlight.

She wasn’t surprised to find that he had a deeply romantic side. Not when he’d been revealing himself to her in bits and pieces over the past two weeks without even realizing it. How gentle he’d been in coaxing a baby goat out of the blackberry bramble he’d gotten himself stuck in. The way he spoke to his horses in low, soothing tones as he groomed them. The care with which he picked up his prize hens to stroke their feathers. And, of course, his romantic side was even more fun when contrasted with his cranky-pants attitude during the work day.

Truth be told, there wasn’t a side of him she didn’t like, and more and more often she found herself wondering about the future...and if it could be possible for them to have one together. Could she figure out a way to combine the life she’d had before Grayson with the new one she’d found with him in the rolling pastures of Pescadero?

In two days she’d be heading to her mother’s house for the Sunday lunch she’d promised her sister she would attend. They’d want to know everything, and she knew she’d have to tell them about her ex, the farm, the work she’d done these past two weeks.

But what would she say about Grayson?

And how could she possibly explain what she’d found here with him without them seeing that she’d fallen head over heels in love with a man who couldn’t love her back?

Yes, she knew none of them had had an easy road to their own happily-ever-afters. Nonetheless, being the only one left in a family of joyously-in-love siblings wasn’t easy.

Going with Eric to help with the CSA pick-ups was bittersweet this time as she wondered whether it would be the last time she got to do it. After he dropped her off and drove back down the driveway, she found Grayson on top of the cottage roof.

“Hey, cowboy,” she called up to him, “you make a girl want to stare up at the blue sky forever.”

And it was true—even looking at him from a distance made her heart clench and her stomach twist and her breath come faster. She might only have loved him for a week, but that love ran so deeply through her that she could barely hold the words back sometimes, especially when he was kissing her and holding her in his strong arms at night.

He grinned down at her, the smile she so loved making her heart flip-flop around in her chest like crazy as he said, “Looking good down there, too, cowgirl.”

“Good enough to take a little break?” she said with a playful little flounce of her chest and hips.

“Hell, yeah,” he said in such a hot, sexy voice that her head spun and her knees grew weak. “Grab the small hammer from the kitchen counter for me and I’ll nail down these last couple of shingles.” He stripped her with his eyes. “And then I’ll nail you.”

Boy, did he know how to motivate her as she all but ran into the kitchen to get his hammer. But when she saw Sweetpea lying halfway off her bed of pillows and blankets, with her head turned in a slightly strange position, Lori immediately forgot about Grayson waiting for her on the roof.

“Baby, are you okay? Please be okay.”

She ran a gentle hand over the cat’s side and was beyond relieved to find her still warm and breathing. She immediately scooped her off the floor. Despite the special meals Lori had been making and hand feeding to her, Grayson’s cat had become terribly thin, so that every one of her ribs was showing. Even her tail, which had remained thick despite her illness, was now nearly hairless.

Lori was still sitting on the couch rocking the cat in her arms when Grayson came in the side door. “How long were you planning on making me wait for the—” He stopped cold as he saw her with Sweetpea. “Did something happen with Mo?”

For once, Lori didn’t correct him on the cat’s name. “I don’t think she feels very good tonight. But we’re just going to cuddle it out.”

Grayson sat beside them on the couch and ran a large hand over the cat’s skinny frame before placing it over Lori’s. They stayed just like that until long past the moment the cat fell peacefully asleep—the loner and the two strays who had refused to let him be alone.

Chapter Twenty-one

Early the next morning, Grayson forced himself to get up with the sun, despite having the most beautiful girl in the world in his bed, warm and soft and always ready for him. But when he went out into the kitchen to pound a quick cup of coffee, he immediately knew something was wrong.

It was Mo. She wasn’t making her little snuffling noises. She wasn’t blinking her eyes open to acknowledge his presence for a split second before going back to sleep away the rest of the morning.

She was gone.

His heart broke as he finally lost the furry friend who had been with him every step of the way as he built a new life on the farm. At the same time, he’d come to accept life and death for his animals. It was nature. It was the cycle of things.

But Lori was going to be absolutely devastated.

Taking a blanket off the couch, he carefully bundled up the cat in it. He could bury Mo before Lori woke up and spare her the painful good-bye, but he knew that would be worse.

Carrying the cat in his arms, he walked back into the bedroom. He simply stared at Lori for a few seconds, drinking in the sight of her in his bed, her dark hair spread out across the pillows, her beautiful face calm, her endlessly energetic body finally still for a short while as she slept. Her mouth was tilted up slightly at the corners and he hoped she was dreaming of him.

Crap. He couldn’t do this to her, couldn’t wake her from her happy dreams and break her heart. He was moving away to deal with the cat himself when she stirred.

“Grayson?”

He swallowed hard before turning back to face her. She immediately noticed the bundle in his arms.

“Is it Sweetpea?” Lori’s voice was surprisingly steady.

Grayson, on the other hand, couldn’t seem to find his voice as he nodded instead.

Silently, she drew back the covers and got dressed. She wasn’t crying, but he could feel sadness radiating out from her with every single movement. Together, they walked outside, both of them automatically heading past the barn. Lori walked over to the spot with the most sweeping views of his land.

“Here. Sweetpea should be right here. Right by the barn, where you found her.”

He handed Mo to her and got the shovel. It didn’t take long to dig the hole and, soon, Lori was kneeling and placing the cat into it. One tear slid down her cheek, and then another.

“Thank you for making me feel so welcome here, Sweetpea. I love you.”

Somehow, just barely, Grayson kept his own tears from falling as Lori stepped back and he shoveled the dirt into place. She found a rock and some flowers and laid them down over the grave.