Always Remember (Memories) (23 page)

“You,” he breathes into my ear. “… are so beautiful, Jennifer Mason.”

I turn my face into him and brush my lips against his. I shift my body round so my front is against his and I tangle my fingers in his hair. His mouth dominates mine as he pulls me closer to him, shuffling back towards the bed. He sits down, pulling me into his lap, and I straddle him. My body presses against him, my core rubbing against his erection, and tonight I need this.

I need to be close to him. I need him to be close to me.

And both of us need to not let go.

“Are you sure?” Mum asks, putting her hand on the door.

“Am I sure she
’s gonna freak out and kick my ass? One hundred percent,” I answer, looking into her soft brown eyes. “But I’m also sure that out of every girl I’ve ever been with, no-one is as perfect for me as Jen.”

Mum
’s lips curve into a smile slowly and she opens the door. “Then let’s find you “the one.””

I follow her into the
jewellers, apprehensive but sure of the decision I’m making. I still have the burning desire to prove it to Jen – that this is it, that
she
is it. I still have the burning desire to prove it to the rest of the world.

I know that when I find the ring and hand over my card to pay for it I
’m making a commitment before it’s even in Jen’s possession. I know that when I have a little box safely tucked away in my pocket there’s no going back.

And that
’s how I want it. I don’t want to go back to the asshole I was this time last year. I don’t want to go back to being the guy wanting but never having. I want to carry on being the smug bastard that’s in love with the craziest, most beautiful girl I know.

And that
’s why this ring has to be perfect. It has to be everything Jen is. Not flashy, not cheap-looking, and not in your face, because that’s not her, not really. It needs to be delicate yet strong, gorgeous, and breath-taking.

This ring needs to encompass the way I feel whenever I see her.

It’s only been three days since we made up, and we’re not perfect, we might never be perfect, but I know this is the right decision. Is it impulsive? Yes. Is it crazy? Yes. But it’s right, so that doesn’t matter.

My eyes scan across the display case. There are a hundred different designs and styles, but none in this case are right. I keep looking, taking in thousands of pounds worth of jewellery, dismissing each piece.

“Any luck?” Mum asks softly, appearing next to me.

I shake my head. “Nothing in this case. They
’re not…” I trail off, not knowing what words to use.

“They
’re not Jen,” Mum agrees. “She needs something a little more special.” She hooks her hand inside my elbow and guides me across the shop. “This was your Gram’s favourite jewellery shop. The last time she came to London, she fell in love with two rings, but they were both too expensive for her to buy there and then. I promised her I’d buy them one day for her, and she told me not to be so silly. She put small deposits on both of them and by the time she died, she’d paid them off.”

Mum waves towards a clerk, and I frown a little. “Right. And you
’re telling me this because…?”

The clerk reappears, placing two boxes on the counter in front of us. She opens the boxes, revealing two rings.

“They never left this shop, and nor were they meant to leave with her. She fell in love with these rings for you kids. One for you to give when you finally fell in love, and one to be given to the person who fell in love with your sister. When the time is right, Alec will be brought here, too.”

My eyes are drawn immediately to the one on the right. The vintage swirl design on either side of the round diamond scream “Jen” to me. The diamond isn
’t big and it isn’t small. It’s just right. It’s everything I imagined but couldn’t put into words for her.

“Can I?” I glance at the clerk, gesturing to the boxes.

“Of course, Sir.”

I pick up the box holding the ring, tilting it slightly so the diamond sparkles in the overhead light. “How did Gram know?”

“I think she took a lucky guess.” Mum smiles.

“I
’m sure she died knowing exactly what was going to happen, and feeling very smug about it, too,” I muse, gently touching the ring. “How did she know the exact rings to pick?”

“She said her heart called out to them, and she knew they had to be in her family one day.” Mum sighs softly. “She was too smart for her own good, Mum was.”

I nod in agreement and look at Mum, a grin creeping onto my face. “Then it’s time the crazy old bat got to see one make its way into the family, huh?”

Mum holds her hand out for the box and I give it to her. She examines the ring closely, her eyes flicking backwards and forwards over it. The lid closes beneath her fingers and she hands the box to the clerk with a brisk nod.

“The other one can go back into storage for now, thank you.” Mum turns to me, patting my arm. “I think you’re right, there, son. And you’re right. It’s the perfect ring for Jen.”

I half-smile and look at the other ring. “Do you think Alec will take that one for Lexy?”

“He will when he hears what cut it is.” Mum smirks.

“Why, what is it?”

“Princess cut.”

I smirk along with Mum. “Goddamn, Gram really hit the nail on the head with these, didn
’t she?”

The clerk hands me the box in a bag and we thank her.

“That she did – and if you didn’t take the ring, I have no doubt she would have hit you on the head.” Mum laughs. “Dead or not, she would have found a way to do it.”

“I really wouldn
’t be surprised,” I say wryly. “She’s probably concocting a plan now to knock me on the head for taking so damn long about it.”

“On that note… When are you going to pop the question?”

“That, Mother, dearest…” I wrap an arm around her shoulders. “…Is a bloody good question.”

~

Lexy sighs, climbing onto the garden chair next to Jen and tucking her legs beneath her. “I don’t know how to help him. Every year it’s the same… Every year for this one day I feel completely helpless.” Her voice is weak, and I can hear the hurt echoing in it.

“It
’s hard to understand his pain. Alec and his Dad… They were close,” Jen explains softly. “They were like… Siamese twins close. Whether it was surfing, fishing, whatever, they did it together. The night his Dad died, a little piece of him died, too. This is the one day each year he allows himself, the one day each year he lets himself really feel that loss.”

“I wish I could take it away from him,” Lexy whispers, laying her head on the back of the chair. “
I can’t imagine his pain. I wish I could at least share it with him so it wouldn’t be such a burden.”

I lean over and wrap an arm around her shoulders, letting her rest her head against me instead. She sniffs a little, and I squeeze her. “He
’s lucky to have you, y’know. And I’m not just saying that ‘cause I’m your brother. He’s lucky he has someone that loves him as much as you do.”

“And to think of the damn fight she put up!” Jen shakes her head. “I thought I was
gonna have to lock them in broom cupboard somewhere until she finally gave in and pulled down her panties for him.”

I roll my eyes, but her words elicit a half-laugh, half-sob from Lexy.

“You would have, too,” she mutters in response. “I didn’t think he’d come back to London with us. I still can’t believe he has sometimes.”

“Which is why sitting here sulking at us isn
’t helping,” Jen sings. I glance at her, knowing what she’s thinking.

“Jen-” I warn.

She holds her hand up. “You need to go and tell him you want to be there.”

“He told me not to come over after classes. Which is why I
’m here. And not there.” She sighs again.

Jen grins and stands up.

“What are you doing?” I look up at her.

“I
’m going to see Alec.” She shrugs a shoulder. “Hey. Don’t look at me like that!”

“I
’m not looking at you like anything, babe.” I grab her hand and tug her closer to me. “But I don’t think you should go if he wants to be alone. You know what Alec is like-”

“
Exactamundoooo,” she sings. “I’ve known him all my life. Besides, he didn’t say I couldn’t go over.” She glances at Lexy and winks. “So don’t worry, Samuel.”

She bends down and kisses me quickly, skipping off towards the house.

“Uh, Jen?” Lexy calls. “How are you getting there?”

“Good point,” I mumble, turning my head round. “How
are
you getting there?”

Jen pauses at the doors. She digs her hand into her pocket and turns slowly, a grin spreading across her face. My keys jingle from her fingers. “I
’m borrowing your car, Sam, darling.”

“I
’m pretty sure you’re supposed to ask if you want to borrow something,” I tell her, smirking slightly.

“Fine.” She rolls her eyes dramatically. “Please may I borrow your car to go and see Alec, your almost definite future brother-in-law, Samuel, darling?” she asks in a sweet tone and batters her eyelashes.

Lexy giggles into her hand, sitting up, and I can’t help but laugh. I lean over the back of my chair.

“What
’s in it for me?” I waggle my eyebrows suggestively.

“I
’m not spilling all my secrets to you!” Jen winks and runs into the house before I can respond.

“Bitch,” I grumble, sitting down.

“It’s why we all love her.” Lexy smiles at me, reaching for her drink.

My lips curl up at one side, and I look out at the garden. “Yeah. Yeah, it is.”

I rap my knuckles against Alec
’s door loudly. He doesn’t answer, so I knock again. Even louder.

Still no answer.

“Alec Johnson you get your mopey ass to this door right this second!” I yell through his letterbox. “I mean it.”

“I
’m not in,” he calls back.

“Nice try, dumbass. Open the damn door before I open it myself!”

“It’s unlocked.”

I try the handle and the door swings open. Huh. Maybe I should have tried that first…

I walk into his flat, and he’s lying on the sofa in casual clothes. I raise an eyebrow when I see he’s watching Antique Roadshow.

“Any reason you
’re watching this crap?” I ask.

“I
’m not watching it. It’s just there,” he says dully.

I huff and stomp across the room, pressing the off button on his television. I turn, my eyes locking onto his, and walk towards him. I grab his arms and pull him up, grunting.

“Jesus freaking Christ, Alec, what are you made of? Granite?” I poke his arm. “Yep, that’s damn granite right there.”

He sighs and pushes himself up. “What do you want, Jen?”

“I’ve come to see how you are, bringing with me a bright rosy smile.” I tilt my head to the side and give him my cheesiest smile.

“Nice try,” he mutters. “Didn
’t Lexy tell you I want to be left alone today?”

“Of course she did – b
ut since when I did I listen to a single word you said?” I scoff.

“Fair point. But why are you here?”

“I’m here because your ass is droopier than Droopy Dog himself.”

“You do know what day it is, right?” His eyes slide to mine slowly, and there
’s raw pain there. I’d bet anything memories are swirling behind them, taking over his mind just for today.

“I know.” I sit next to him on the sofa and hug my knees to my chest, resting my head on them so I can look at him. “But that doesn
’t mean you have to be alone. He wouldn’t want you to be alone in your pain.”

Alec shakes his head. “He wouldn
’t have wanted a lot of things I’ve done since he died. I still did them. This is my one concession.”

“Even if it hurts others around you? Because there are people that want to be here today, specifically the person that is the reason you
’re in London. The person that made you change. Pushing her away won’t stop it hurting, Alec. Pushing everyone away today won’t stop that pain.” He closes his eyes for a brief moment. “I’m not saying you can’t feel, that you can’t hurt, because you can. Of course you can. You lost more than your father. You lost your best friend, too, and while we can’t understand that, we can still be here. Sitting locked up in this flat isn’t going to make you feel better.”

“You
’re right, Jen, You can’t understand how much it hurts to lose him. And I hope you never have to understand it.”

“But we will, one day,” I remind him softly. “And when that day comes I know you
’ll be the person first in line to comfort us. Just let us be here. I knew your Dad, too – remember? He’s the reason I don’t surf. Do you not remember him putting me on a surfboard age eight and shoving me out to sea because I refused to learn, hmm?”