Always Summer (23 page)

“Well we
aren’t anything now… nothing at all.” I said mollified.

“On his terms!”
 
She argued.
 
“It should’ve been on your terms!
 
What if Blake finds out?”

I looked at
her with genuine fear… I’d have to tell him… I’d have to explain this to him,
in case Jordan did first.

I started
to get all panicky.
 
I was rocking back
and forth on the chair.

“I fucked
up… he’ll be heartbroken.” I vacantly murmured.

“Get
yourself together!” Julie scoffed.
 
“He
loves you more than life itself… but, it’s gonna hurt him!” she reasoned.

I nodded.

“Wait a few
days till he gets better… actually, wait till you move in together, so he has
time to really get his head right.” She suggested.

“But
Jordan… maybe he’ll say something?!” I cried.

“Look…
Summer… I am not above threatening Jordan Myers to shut the fuck up… however;
he’s not allowed to contact Blake in any way.
 
And come on!
 
If he wants to come
out the other side of all this fuck-up-
ery
… and
collect on his football scholarship, he’s gonna need to tow the line!” Julie
explained.

I nodded.

“Now, go
wash your face, change your clothes and get in my God Damn car… Blake woke up
today, and he’s beside himself because he couldn’t get a hold of you.” She
scolded.

Now I felt
even more God Damn awful… I hadn’t been there for Blake… I’d caused him more
pain!

So, I did
what she told me to do… promptly!
 

*

It was a
forty-five minute drive to
North Shore
University Hospital
in Manhasset... and visiting hours finished at
8pm.
 
We left my place just before
6:30pm.
 
When you factored in any traffic
concerns, parking, walking to the hospital entrance and navigating your way
from there to Blake’s room... we were cutting it fine!

Julie had
help tonight from just about every karma point she commanded.
 
She made it to the hospital in thirty-four
minutes.
 
Yes, she was speeding!
 
We found a convenient park next to the
pedestrian exit closest the hospital.
 
The entrance was fairly empty, and the lifts weren’t delayed.
 
I ran the whole way.

I made it
to his room at 7:17pm... I was still crying.

Blake.

I had been
drifting in and out of a light sleep most of the evening.
 
Julie hadn’t called me, and I was getting
worried.
 
I would give her till the end
of visiting hours... then I was going to pursue things again.
 
That way nobody would be around to see me get
upset yet again.

Then she
was upon me... my
Summer
was there.
 
Leaning over me, touching my face gently, and
shaking like a leaf as she held my hand.
 
She was smiling, even though tears were drenching her face.

I smiled; I
just about broke my face I smiled so big.
 
I hadn’t seen her since we dropped her off at her sister’s place in
July.
 
Her mere presence was therapy!

“Hi,” I
croaked.

She
couldn’t reply verbally... so she leant down and softly brushed my lips with
her own.
 
Then she sat down on the chair
my Dad had pushed in almost underneath her, and held my hand to her face...
looking at me.

“I know you
went and saw Jordan.” I said, swallowing the huge ball in my throat and
attempting to wet the dry huskiness that was my voice.

She looked
at me... devastated.

“We can talk
about it another time... I don’t really want to talk about it now.” I said
tiredly.

She nodded,
tears still spilling.

“I love you
Blake.” She managed to croak out, looking deeply into my eyes... imploring me
to know what she felt was real.

“Good...
because I love you too.”
 
I said, and I
meant it, I’d said it so many times over the last couple of weeks... over the
phone, in texts and emails; that it was easy to admit this fact... I had loved
her for years, but I was still angry too.
 

“And
although I said I don’t want to talk about it, just know this! Don’t you ever
again go and confront someone who’s angry, violent and is desperate for you...
again!
 
I was beside myself with worry...
it nearly killed me!” I explained... I was suddenly out of breath; hurt was
obvious... lacing my words that sounded cracked and pained.

She
nodded... pain evident on her face too.

Summer.

“Just plop
that box down there.” I told Blake.
 

When I saw
him come inside our apartment, I had been on my knees on top of the kitchen
bench packing the cupboards above the bench.
 
He gave me a smirk, looking as though he was going to come over and do
something wicked to me; but he was prevented, when Debbie came through the door
carrying an armful load of pillows and sparing a look in our direction.

We hadn’t
had a moment alone the whole week.
 
Now
it was Saturday... We’d left early that morning for our two and a half hour
journey to our new lives; getting here at 8am.
 
Max had organized to meet the realtor here at that time, so we were able
to pretty much walk straight inside.
 
Blake was supposed to take it easy... but he was typical Blake... doing
what he wanted to do.

Once Blake
had gotten out of the hospital on Tuesday morning, he’d made it clear he didn’t
want to be mollycoddled... however, his Mom and Dad had kept a keen eye on him
and made him stay basically still and sedate till yesterday morning; when he
growled mutiny at them and got about finishing packing his stuff.

I’d visited
him daily, but apart from some fairly innocent kissing, nothing had had the
capacity to eventuate; his mother had been hovering the whole time.
 
I was certain that she thought he would
regress if his heart beat got above a certain rate.

Now Debbie
and Max were here helping us unload and unpack, while his parents were in
Newark, settling Julie into accommodation with Helen...
hmmm!

It had
taken forever to convince them that he would be fine with just Debbie and Max
to supervise him.
 
His mother had been
pushing to come and assist, leaving his father to help Julie move by
himself.
 
By the end of the week, after
numerous times denying his mother’s help was necessary; Blake got a little
psycho over the whole thing, and his obvious distress was enough to prevent her
from her
‘thoughtful’
course of action,
and stick with the original plan.

By midday,
we’d pretty much unpacked just about all there was to unpack.
 
We really didn’t have heaps... we had a
little more than what we needed, alongside our personal stuff... but with all
the help, it was pretty easy to have everything finalized in record time.

Max had
managed to con some unsuspecting strong young guys into helping Blake and
himself to bring the heavy furniture in, by bribing them with a couple of six
packs of
Bud
.
 
They were obviously underage... but Max was
ignorant; his back was more important... oh well, ignorance is bliss!

Debbie
hadn’t even batted an eye when Blake had asked her to unpack all of my stuff
alongside his in the main bedroom; she had done so without a word, just a smug
smile.
 
I on the other hand felt
nervous.
 
This was concrete!
 
I was living with my boyfriend now... and we
hadn’t even really been together yet!
 
So, despite Blake’s efforts, I still managed to have my single bed made
up in the smallest room, just in case I needed it.
 
Blake countered this move by having all of
our bulky items of clothing stored in the wardrobe in there, so he was still
sharing the room.
 
His winter jackets
were butting up against mine, in the smaller built in robe... leaving more
storage room for less bulky items in the main room.
 

I felt like
a virgin bride must feel like, when she is embarking on a marriage to her
intended, despite never having experienced living with her man before.
 
The ‘unknown’ was slightly exciting, but
desperately scary all at once.
 
Admittedly, I already knew we had chemistry; and we knew a great deal
about one another, so we were ahead in the game in many respects.
 
However, those jittering nerves that had
steadily tattooed their drums throughout this week were almost deafening today
and were going to beat me apart.
 

Just after
we finished with the unpacking, everyone decided they were starving; so we
headed out for food, and found ourselves driving along Mountain Avenue.
 
Stopping at a place called ‘Toni’s’, we
headed in for a bite to eat.
 
The food
was amazing... and Blake and I collectively agreed this would be a regular
joint to come to.
 
I had a
Moresca
gourmet salad, Blake had an Italian sub with a side
serving of onion rings, and Debbie and Max both enjoyed a personally designed
pizza each.

Afterwards,
Max and Debbie dropped us off at our apartment; and since they were both keen
to get back to New York to stay at Phoebe’s tonight; they left promptly.
 
They were to meet Elspeth and Sally at
Phoebe’s for dinner.

Debbie pulled
me aside.

“Honey, I’m
going to miss you so much!” she said, pulling me in for a massive squeeze.

“I’m
already missing you!” I grumbled.
 
Her
departing hug reminded me of the predicament I was in.
 
Blake and me, living together... in the same
bed...
TOGETHER!

“What’s
wrong?” she asked, pushing me back to arms length and looking at me with that
curiosity I was accustomed to from her.

“I’m a
little scared.” I whispered, looking over at the camaraderie evident between
Max and Blake as they discussed the... whatever...

Debbie
didn’t miss my obvious glance toward Blake.
 
She smiled... huge!

“Oh
Summer... you have been best friends with that boy since you were kids... he
adores you, he’ll be good for you, so stop worrying!” she enthused.

Whose side was she on?

“Traitor...
you’re supposed to tell me something useful to help me get through this first
major step... right here and now!” I grumbled.

Debbie
laughed... she actually threw her head back and laughed.

“I just
did!” she replied... pulling me in for another hug.

Max did the
whole hug thing too, before they took off to go and annoy some of their other
children.

*

Blake had
me drive his 2009 Audi TTS Coupe, which he’d gotten for his 18th birthday,
here; and we’d parked in our designated parking bay.
 
His parents had gone way overboard with both
Julie and Blake’s birthday presents, but it was a nice car, for a two door, 6
speed
, ‘Lucifer Red’, compact car.

I didn’t
own a car... I usually drove Debbie’s car.
 
So Blake was to be my transport around here, other than skating, taxi’s
and buses.

Now as we
made our way into our apartment on the third floor of our building, I felt my
mentioned nervousness to Debbie grow beyond reason.
 
This realization that I had quite literally
tied myself to Blake for a decent length of time, regardless as to how it might
possibly work out; was almost crippling me.

My
unreasonable fear and doubt doubled, or perhaps it was reasonable that it
should; as Blake opened the door and went to carry me across the
threshold.
 
At least he didn’t fully
carry me like a bride.
 
He simply lifted
me and swung my legs through the door and around him in a half arc.

“Welcome
home.” He said, leaning in to kiss me gently.
 
I returned his kiss, but I couldn’t feel any of our normally burning
desire to continue it, so I broke it off and immediately pushed myself back.

All week I
had desired him... desperately.
 
Now I
was just so full of nerves, I wanted to vomit!
 
It was obvious he wasn’t afflicted in the same way.

“What’s
wrong?” he asked, looking at me puzzled.

I
swallowed...
“Nerves!”
I said, suddenly reduced to
single syllable words.