Always You (A Magnolia Falls Novel) (14 page)

“I appreciate the apology, but it’s unnecessary. We all did things back then we are ashamed of.” Diana folded the towel and set it down. “Tell you what, let’s forget it all and use today as our fresh start. I really enjoyed our afternoon girls’ hour. I think it’s a pretty good place to start.”

“Me, too,” said Mandy.

Logan walked in then. “Sorry. I don’t mean to intrude, but I thought I would start dinner.”

“You aren’t intruding. I enjoy all your good cooking,” said Diana

“As long as you are helping my best friend get well you can intrude on anything, anytime,” said Mandy.

“Liz is fortunate to have you both in her life. A lot of my clients don’t have a support group. If she keeps doing as well as she is I may not need to stay the entire twelve weeks.” Logan was pulling food out of the refrigerator when he said this. With his back to them, Diana and Mandy exchanged knowing looks.

“
Uh uh
. Our deal is for twelve weeks so twelve weeks it is. Besides, my sister has plans for you.”

He dropped the food on the counter. “What has she said to you?”

“That you are being the perfect gentleman, against your will and hers. As long as you don’t hurt her I really don’t care about the therapist-client relationship.”

“It’s unethical, Diana. I can’t get involved with her. Even if that means Liz can’t have what she wants for once.”

Diana and Mandy laughed. “You figured her out quickly. She usually gets what she wants. But what do you want, Logan?” Mandy asked.

He looked from Diana to Mandy and didn’t say a word.

“You want Liz, don’t you?” Diana asked.

He nodded. “I’ve never had this happen with a client. There have been clients who develop feelings for me because of the position I am in, but I’ve always been careful not to encourage them in any way. I have certainly never returned the feelings. There are some lines a therapist doesn’t cross. Getting romantically involved with a client is one of them, especially a high profile client like Liz. Somehow she blurs those lines. The darker I try to make them the more blurred they become.”

“That’s Liz,” Diana and Mandy said in unison.

Diana patted his arm. “It’s okay. The shell shock Liz causes will wear off eventually. And I don’t want to tell you to go against your morals, but she won’t be your client forever,” Diana said.

“Thanks for listening. After a day in Liz’s company I feel as if
I
need a therapist.” He dropped more food on the counter he had taken out of the pantry. “I usually cook up a storm when I’m working through a problem, which means I will probably make enough to feed an army. So if you want your friends to stay, there will be plenty.”

“That sounds great. Thanks, Logan.” Turning to Mandy she asked, “Do you want to stay?”

“Yeah. I’ve heard all sorts of amazing things about Logan’s cooking.”

“It’s overrated,” he said.

“No, it isn’t. I’m going to call Zack to see if he can come, too. Mandy, you want to go out and ask Jillian if she and Cassidy want to stay?”

“Sure.” Mandy went outside, and Diana went upstairs to call Zack.

***

Logan wasn’t kidding about cooking up a storm. Diana surveyed all the dishes he had made that were not sitting on the dining room table. It was a good thing Zack was bringing two extra people to help them eat it all. When she called him he was at Gavin’s garage so he asked if he could bring Gavin as well as Gavin’s cousin Jayce who had recently arrived in town.

As soon as they arrived they all sat down to dinner, including Jessica and Cassidy who refused to be excluded from the ‘party,’ as they called it. “This is yummy. Thank you Logan.” Jessica enthusiastically ate all the food on her plate.

“You are very welcome Miss Jessica. I’m glad you are enjoying it. How about you Cassidy. Do you like it?”

She nodded as she stuffed another spoonful into her mouth. The grown-ups around the table laughed.

After dinner the girls decided they wanted to dance so Diana turned on the music for them in the family room. The rest of the party followed. Cassidy grabbed Zack’s hand while Jessica pulled Diana up to dance. The four of them danced alone for a while and slowly the others began to join them. Diana watched as Logan stood and held his hand out to Liz. She happily accepted. Then Jayce asked Mandy, at last Gavin nudged Jillian and nodded his head towards the others. Jillian rolled her eyes and laughed. “Is that how you ask a lady to dance Gavin?”

“It’s worked up until now.”

Jillian got up and held onto his arm. “Gavin, one day you are going to meet your match. When you do I hope I’m around to see you fall.”

Gavin pulled her into his arms and they began dancing. He dipped her down and held her there for a moment. “It will never happen.”

She laughed as he pulled her up.

Diana looked over the girl’s heads at Zack and saw that he was intently watching the exchange between his sister and his best friend with an unreadable expression on his face.

CHAPTER SIXTEEN

Zack and Diana were laying on the brown leather sofa in the family room of her house. Alone at last. His sister and Cassidy had gone home, Liz and Logan had disappeared, and Jessica was fast asleep upstairs. Thankfully, Gavin and his cousin, Jayce, had left at the same time as Jillian and Cassidy. Dinner with everyone had been fun, but he was glad to have her all to himself now.

“Dinner was great. Thanks for inviting me and for including Gavin and Jayce,” he said, lifting her hair and letting it slip through his fingers.

She raised her head from where it had been resting on his chest. “No problem. How well do you know Jayce?”

“I’ve seen him when he comes to visit Gavin. He came with Gavin to visit me once a few years ago. He’s a good guy that’s had a rough time.” What no one knew was Jayce was recently released from prison for a crime he didn’t commit, according to Gavin. He had told Zack when it happened, but didn’t want anyone to know. Jayce deserved a fresh start. He was a good guy, if Zack didn’t believe that, he wouldn’t let him near those he loved.

“From the sounds of it he’s here to stay.”

“Looks that way.”

“I’m glad he came and enjoyed dinner. Logan is an amazing chef. And did you see how much Liz ate? I don’t know how he does it, but I sure am glad he’s here.”

Happiness shined from her eyes, making them sparkle like emeralds. He stroked her hair. “I noticed. She is looking much better since he arrived. I also noticed there seems to be more going on between them than your normal therapist patient relationship.”

“There is. Logan is putting up a pretty hard fight to resist Liz, though. I have to give him credit for his extreme effort. Have you ever known a man who could resist her?”

“One. He was madly in love with someone else.” His words rang true, when they were in high school he only had eyes for Diana. While Liz was always beautiful, she had never been able to capture his attention as Diana had. “But I’m not sure he is trying all that hard to stay away from her.” Zack put a finger to her chin and tilted her head up. “Enough about other people. I’d rather concentrate on us.”

He’d been laying there for the last half hour thinking about Diana’s lips. He lowered his lips to hers and gently, slowly kissed her. She tasted so good he craved her when they were apart. She was always meant to be his.

“
Mmm
, I love the way you do that,” she murmured against his lips.

“Do what?” He moved onto her neck.

“Make me feel as if I’m in heaven.”

“Not heaven, kitten, paradise. I want to take you to paradise.”

***

Diana felt happy watching Jessica laugh the way a child should. She and Zack had taken the girls to the park and were now sitting on a bench, watching them play with the other children. Jessica had lived through something no child should ever experience. During this difficult time Diana had done her best to step in and be a mother figure to her little sister. Most days she doubted her ability to be the mother Jessica needed. Today, seeing that smile on her little sister’s face gave Diana a small measure of relief that maybe, just maybe, she was doing something right.

“I want to see you laugh like that again, too, one day soon.” Zack’s words broke into her thoughts.

“Some days I feel as if I will never laugh like that again. Other days—” Diana shrugged. “What matters most is that Jessica is laughing now. She still has nights she cries herself to sleep. It tears me apart, rocking her in my arms as she cries inconsolably, calling out for mommy and daddy.”

Zack put his arm around her waist. “You are doing a great job taking care of her.”

“It scares me to death I won’t be good enough to raise her. My parents were amazing at raising kids. Even Liz turned out okay. There is no way I will ever be able to give Jessica what she needs in a mom.” She had just spoken her greatest fear out loud half expecting Zack to agree with her, but hoping he wouldn’t.

“Hey, look at me.” He tucked a finger under her chin and forced her to look at him. “You are going to be a great mom. Not only to Jessica, but to your own kids when you have them.” Diana looked into his sparkling whiskey eyes. She hadn’t been captivated by anyone like this before. At least not since the last time Zack was in her life. The thought of her kids with eyes just like his flashed through her mind. The image was so clear it stunned her, giving her the sensation of something finally being right.

Zack must have seen her response to his words because he reached for her hand and gave it a squeeze. They shared a smile and turned back to watching the girls. She wished she were alone with him and not in the middle of a park full of small children.

***

Jessica was missing. Diana’s heart was in her throat, and she was panicking. How could she have let this happen? Logan ran in through the back door. “She isn’t in the backyard.”

Liz came running down the stairs. “She isn’t upstairs, either. Where is she, Diana?” Liz wailed. Logan went to her and pulled her into his arms. She buried her face in his shoulder and cried. “We are going to find her.” He pulled his phone out of his pocket and dialed.

“Who are you calling?” Diana asked.

“The police.” Of course they had to call the police. Why hadn’t she thought of that? Because she wasn’t thinking, that’s why. She grabbed her keys and ran out the front door. Logan was yelling at her to come back but she kept going, got in the car, started it up and took off down the drive. She could not sit and do nothing when her baby sister was somewhere and needed her. A niggling doubt in her mind was telling her Jessica needed her earlier, and she had been too busy with work. Why had she brushed her off when she came to sit in her lap? Why had she told her she was too busy to watch a movie with her?

Her eyes scanned the road from side to side as she drove slowly, searching for a little girl in a blue sweater and jeans. Her pink backpack was also missing. Diana’s phone rang, and she pressed the button to answer it. Zack’s voice came over the car speakers. “Where are you?”

“Jessica is missing, Zack.” She choked out through the tears.

“I know. We will find her. But right now you need to pull over and turn off the car. You are in no condition to be driving. The whole town has been alerted, and everyone is out looking for her.”

She felt some comfort others were out looking, but she didn’t want to stop. If she stopped she was going to fall apart, and she couldn’t do that. Not yet. Not until Jessica was safe. “What if a stranger picked her up?”

“Don’t even think that. Have you pulled over yet?”

“No.”

“Do it. Right now.” His stern voice managed to break through the haze, and she realized she had been driving aimlessly. She was putting herself in danger and others on the road. She pulled over and laid her head on the steering wheel. She let the tears fall. Big sobs wracked her body. “Did you pull over?” She could hear the fear in his voice. She nodded and realized he couldn’t see her.

“Yes.” She managed to choke out.

“Stay put. I’m coming toward you.”

“Okay.”

Within minutes she heard the car door open and felt strong hands pulling her out of the car. It was Zack. “They found her. She is safe.” He put his hands on either side of her face and looked into her eyes. “Do you hear me? Jessica is safe.”

When his words finally penetrated her fear, she wrapped her arms around his neck and sank into him and continued to cry. “Where?” Was all she could ask.

“She was in the cemetery, sitting at your parents’ graves.”

At that she cried even harder. “Take me to her. Please.”

Zack put her into his truck and drove her to Jessica. By the time they got there Diana had managed to pull herself together. Jessica was at Ray’s diner, sitting at the counter drinking a milkshake. Diana ran inside and put her arms around her. “Why did you leave?”

“Because I wanted to see mommy and daddy. They always watched movies with me.” Jessica answered.

“I’m so sorry, honey. I should have watched it with you. I promise next time you ask I will. Just don’t ever leave the house by yourself again. Promise.”

Jessica wiped at the tears running down Diana’s cheeks. “I promise.” She wrapped her little arms around Diana’s neck and started crying, too. “I miss them. Why can’t they come back?”

“Oh, baby. I miss them too.”

When they pulled apart, they both found new milkshakes in front of them. Ray did not do well with emotion, and he felt a milkshake could solve any problem. They reached for the milkshakes and started drinking. Zack sat down next to Diana and rubbed her back to comfort her, but all she could think was if she hadn’t spent so much time with Zack the last few weeks, she wouldn’t be so far behind in her work and would have more time to spend with Jessica.

When they drove up to the house Liz came running down the steps and swooped Jessica into her arms. “Why did you run away?” She was hugging her and crying making Jessica burst into tears again as well. Seeing her sisters crying made Diana’s own eyes start watering. Gosh, she didn’t think she had any tears left. She went to her sisters and put her arms around them. All three Mathison sisters stood in their driveway crying. Diana thought they had made progress since their parents died. Today proved how very far from okay they were.

***

After a long walk to the cemetery and all the emotion that followed, Jessica was fast asleep, sprawled across Liz and Diana. Zack and Logan were there as well.

“What a horrible day,” said Liz.

“You’re telling me. I have never felt such mind-numbing panic in my life, nor do I want to experience it again,” said Diana. “I should have watched a movie with her when she asked. I shouldn’t have made her wait just so I could work. Mom would never have done that with us. She was always available when we needed her.”

“She also asked me, and I told her I would watch it with her later. At least you have the excuse of work. My only excuse is that I was throwing myself a pity party. My selfishness reared its ugly head. I will never be anything other than spoiled, selfish Liz.”

Diana turned to Liz. “That’s not true. You have given up everything to be here for Jessica. That is not the action of a selfish person.”

“She’s right.” Logan spoke up. “You are not selfish.” He looked longingly at Liz before shaking his head and continuing. “You both have made a lot of changes, and you’ve suffered the unimaginable. But you are doing a great job being there for Jessica. No one is perfect. Neither of you could have known what was going through her mind today. Don’t beat yourselves up over this.”

“The important thing is that Jessica is okay.” This came from Zack who had been trying to catch Diana’s eye all afternoon. She couldn’t look at him because he would know what she was thinking, and she wasn’t ready to have that conversation with him yet.

“Thank you both for being here for us today. I don’t think we could have handled this alone,” Liz said.

Zack stood. “You are the Mathison sisters. The three of you are a force to be reckoned with. Together you will always be able to get through anything. I’ll bet on that.” He put his jacket on. “I think I’ll be leaving. Diana, want to walk me out?”

Diana began to shift Jessica onto Liz’s lap when Logan jumped up. “I’ll take your place so you don’t jostle her too much and wake her up. Poor baby is exhausted.”

Zack reached for Diana’s hand as they walked to the front door. Once outside, on the porch he wrapped his arms around her. She wanted to absorb all the strength he was offering, but she held back. “What’s wrong, kitten?”

She stepped out of his embrace and pulled her sweater tight around her. She walked over to the railing and looked out. “I don’t think I can do this anymore.”

Zack was silent for so long she didn’t think he was going to respond. Finally he did. “You are talking about us, aren’t you? You think if you hadn’t been spending so much time with me, Jessica wouldn’t have run away.”

“How is it you know exactly what I’m thinking before I say it?”

He gently touched her arm and turned her around to look at him. “Because I know you. I know you better than anyone else, and you’re wrong. Today was not because of our relationship. Jessica is with us most of the time, so you are not neglecting her to be with me.”

The hurt flashing in his eyes was killing her, but she had to do this. “I wish that were true, but today is proof I’ve been neglecting her. She needs more, and there is no one else around to give her what she needs.”

“There is Liz and Jillian. And there’s me. You know I would lay down my life for that little girl. She is at my house almost as much as she is here. Do you think I don’t care about her as much as you do?”

“I know you love Jessica, and that makes me love you even more. But don’t you see Zack, I need to devote all my time to her right now. She needs me. I can’t give her what she needs while I’m selfishly spending so much time with you. It isn’t fair to either of you.”

“What about you and what you need?”

“That isn’t important right now.” This was so much harder than she thought it would be. Her heart was breaking. “All I’m asking for is time. Give me time to get mine and my sister’s lives back on track. Please, Zack.” The tears she had been blinking back fell down her cheeks. Zack reached out and caught them with the pad of his fingertips.