Alyssa's Choice (15 page)

Six Weeks Later

Alyssa was upset. She could tell that both Grant and Justin were keeping a secret from her. They were always whispering and trying to push her off onto her friends or other people in town. It just seemed so odd. Why were they pushing her away? Old insecurities roared to life, and she had to push them down, trying to ignore all those horribly negative thoughts. She stomped down the street toward their apartment. It was time to find out what was going on.

She had ditched Hannah back at Love Song, pretending that she wasn’t feeling good, and locked herself in the bathroom, only to crawl out the window. She knew that her behavior was extreme, but this was really was pissing her off. They asked her to go shopping with Hannah once more. How many maternity clothes did she need? She was barely showing and could still fit easily into her own clothes. Was she being too needy?

She kept walking. She just needed to ask them. She couldn’t run away and hide. That hadn’t worked before, and it wouldn’t work now. When the pub came into view, she stopped at what she saw. Grant, Justin, and most of the town, if her calculations were correct, were moving boxes down and loading them into the back of a bunch of trucks. She stood frozen, her heart in her throat. Realization dawned on her, and she felt light-headed. They were leaving her. They were moving out of their apartment and leaving her behind.

She felt a sob come from her throat and backed away slowly. What the hell was happening? Why were they leaving? It didn’t make any sense. Were her friends involved? Why would they help them?

“Damn it, Alyssa. I’ve been sitting at the bathroom door waiting for you.” Hannah grabbed her arm, and she jerked away, putting distance between them. “What is wrong with you?” She looked at her as if she was crazy, and maybe she was. Alyssa certainly felt a like everything was falling apart.

“Did you know?” she asked.

“Yeah. I’m sorry. Darn, they are all going to blame me now. It was supposed to be a surprise.” Hannah stared at her, and Alyssa wanted to scream. Everyone knew and nobody told her.

“It’s a surprise all right.” She could feel her blood rushing through her, could actually hear her heart beat, and she wanted to sit on the street and cry. She walked back to the store, feeling like a zombie. She didn’t know what to do. Should she run to them and beg them not to leave her? Should she pretend that she didn’t care? So many emotions came crashing down on her, and Alyssa couldn’t contain them any longer. She started crying, sobbing, and luckily, Hannah was there to grab her before she hit the ground.

“Alyssa, what’s wrong? What happened?” She could hear Hannah’s voice, but she couldn’t seem to stop the hysterical scene she was making. “Someone help me!” Hannah screamed, and Alyssa could hear tons of commotion but couldn’t seem to focus. Strong arms grabbed her and picked her up.

“Alyssa. Alyssa. Are you okay? Can you hear me?” Grant’s frantic voice broke through the fog, and she cried harder, the pain in her heart exploding. “Baby, what happened?” She couldn’t form any words to tell him. “Hannah, what happened?”

“I don’t know. She left the store, and I found her out here. She started crying, and then she collapsed.” Hannah’s voice sounded scared, but Alyssa couldn’t seem to feel sympathy for her friend, not after she had betrayed her.

“We need to get her to the doctor. Grant, now!” Justin said. Grant moved quickly, and she tried to calm down, wanting to tell them that she wasn’t sick, that she didn’t need a doctor, but she couldn’t form words.

“Stop!” She finally yelled. “Put me down.” She hiccupped. The look of concern on his face made her hurt more. He slowly put her down, and she stood up, staring at him. “You were leaving me! You! How dare you!” She pointed an accusing finger at him and then at Justin. The look on Grant’s face completely turned from compassionate to angry, and he stared at her shaking his head.

“Are you kidding me?” His brow drew up, and the look on his face surprised her. “Let me get this straight. That breakdown wasn’t because you’re in pain or need a doctor.” She shook her head, wondering why he wasn’t addressing the issue. “You walked down the street, saw us loading up trucks, and assumed we were leaving you.” He glared at her, and she swallowed hard, nodding. “Un. Fuckin. Believable. This woman needs some serious punishment, Justin.” Grant pushed his hands through his short hair and stared at her as if she had done something wrong. It made no sense to her, and she wanted to yell, but their reactions were kind of freaking her out.

“Oh, my God. You scared ten years off my life. I thought something was wrong with you or the baby. I guess you didn’t believe us when we said we loved you. I thought we were past all this doubt, Alyssa. I really thought we had made more progress.” Justin grabbed her hand and pulled her toward their truck. There were tons of people watching them. She bit her lip, realizing the looks of fear, confusion, and sadness were for her. Everyone had watched her have a complete meltdown.

Justin pushed her into the truck, sitting her in the middle, and Grant climbed in on the other side. They drove in silence down the road that led out of town, and she wondered where they were going. Guilt ate at her. She wished that she hadn’t made that scene because she knew that the gossip would spread quickly and that everyone would probably assume she was insane. Maybe she could blame it on the pregnancy hormones.

Justin turned off the road and drove down a long dirt path, and still neither of them spoke. She bit her lip hard, wanting to say something, wanting to apologize. She looked from Justin to Grant and realized that it would probably be wise to just keep her mouth shut. She could see the anger radiating off them in waves.

A beautiful house came into view, and Alyssa sat up straighter, wondering where they were. Justin parked the truck and they sat still, watching as the other vehicles pulled up with their things. Bella came out of the house with a huge smile, waving, and Alyssa put her head back and groaned.

“Welcome home. Grant and I have been working really hard trying to fix up the house for you. We were going to move everything in today, while you were shopping, and then we were going to bring you home and give you the grand tour.” Justin got out of the truck and slammed the door behind him. Her heart sank. She always seemed to mess everything up.

“I’m really surprised, Alyssa. I don’t know why you doubt us. We haven’t done anything to hurt you. We’ve never rejected you, but still you think the worst of us.” Grant climbed out of the truck and walked toward Justin. They started unloading furniture and boxes, taking them into the house, and she watched as her vision became blurry.

She sat in the truck watching as everyone worked together, and she wrapped her arms around her waist, hugging herself. She didn’t know why she couldn’t have a healthy relationship. She seemed to always ruin things. Grant was right. They hadn’t done anything to make her doubt them, so why did she automatically go to the worst-case scenario every time? She was so embarrassed and couldn’t even gather enough strength to leave the safety of the truck cab.

One by one the vehicles pulled away, leaving the house, and still Alyssa sat there. She wasn’t sure what to say to Grant and Justin. She didn’t know how to make things right. Nobody came to the truck, and she figured that they were all giving her time and privacy. She was grateful that nobody had come to talk to her. She didn’t want to talk to anyone. She knew that she was going to have to get out of the truck soon. The sun was starting to set, and she couldn’t hide all night.

Grant and Justin walked out of the house and stood on the porch staring at her. Gathering her strength, she got out of the truck and walked toward them. They stood shoulder to shoulder, looking fierce, and she realized that it was going to take a lot of begging to get them to forgive her. She stopped in front of them, pleading with her eyes, hoping that they still loved her.

“I’m sorry that I doubted you even for a minute. I–I just love you both so much, and I–I was scared.” She shoved her hands in her pockets, looking at both of them standing there on the porch. They seemed so close, but they felt so far away from her now.

“We love you, but unfortunately, you have too many doubts about this relationship.” She started shaking her head, feeling her heart drop. No, she really didn’t have doubts anymore. She started to tell him, but he cut her off before she could say anything. “We’re gonna head to the pub. There are a few things we need to do. Make yourself at home. This is your home.” They walked toward her and each kissed her, just a brush of lips before going to the truck. She stared after them, wondering if things would ever be the same.

She had so many regrets, had made so many mistakes. A bitter taste rose in her throat, and she swallowed hard, trying not to cry as they drove away. When she could no longer see the truck, she moved, walking up the stairs and into the house. She stood inside the door in awe. Everything was so perfect, and the house was exactly what she had always wanted. She walked around, wishing that both Grant and Justin were here.

Alyssa walked down the hallway, and the first bedroom was painted a beautiful pale blue. She walked in and touched the little antique crib with matching changing table and chest of drawers. There were clouds painted on the ceiling with little glittery butterflies, and she knew that Hannah and Bella had painted the room. Their unique little touches were everywhere.

She walked out of the room and went further down the hall, walking right into the master bedroom. Their huge bed was against the far wall, her clothes hung in the closet, and one wall was painted a deep red, her favorite color.

She walked to the sitting area and fell onto the big couch. She closed her eyes, feeling them fill up with tears. She sat there for a long time surrounded by silence, crying and wishing she hadn’t overreacted. Once again, she had ruined everything. When would she learn?

“So…are you going to just sit there and feel sorry for yourself?” Alyssa jolted, sitting up, and stared at Jessica. She leaned against the doorframe, arching her brow, and Alyssa felt the tears drip down her cheeks. “Is that a yes?”

“I’ve completely ruined everything. I thought they were leaving me. I had a total breakdown in the middle of the street,” Alyssa admitted.

“I know. Everyone saw you. So…my question…are you just going to sit there and feel sorry for yourself or are you gonna get your men?” She stared at Jessica. Of course she wanted to get her men. She had just screwed up in the worst way and didn’t know if they would forgive her this time.

“They’re both at the pub right now, looking totally miserable, and here you are looking exactly the same. Get off your ass, Alyssa, and go get your men. Tell them you love them, ask for forgiveness, and then bring them home and fuck their brains out.” Alyssa nodded, standing up. She needed to fight for them. She needed them to know that she really did love them.

“Good. Let’s go.” She followed Jessica out of the house, and they went to the pub. It was time for her to let go of the past. Her men were nothing like anybody she had ever known. She just hoped that it wasn’t too late to win them back.

* * * *

Grant was miserable. He sat at one of the corner booths nursing a beer with Justin. He still couldn’t get the image of Alyssa out of his mind. He had heard Hannah scream for help and dropped everything, running to Alyssa. He thought she was in pain, that she might be losing the baby, and he had panicked. When he finally realized that she was hysterical because she thought they were leaving her, he had been completely shocked. After all the progress they made, there seemed to be another hurdle to overcome.

They both loved her so much, and she still thought that they didn’t want her. It was painful. Their wonderful surprise had completely turned to hell. He looked over at Justin. He looked like hell, and he knew that they were both feeling lost. He didn’t know what he could do to make Alyssa understand that she was the most important person in their world.

“Some fuckin’ surprise.” Justin scoffed. “I wanted to show her the baby’s room. I wanted to see her face when we took her on a tour around the house. After all that work, and we’re here and she’s there.” He shook his head, and Grant took a deep breath. He had felt exactly the same way. He had wanted to make love to her in their bed, in their house.

He waved over one of the waiters. “Hey, two more beers, two shot glasses, and a bottle of tequila.” He didn’t specify, knowing that they would bring him one of the better bottles. Maybe they could just stay in their apartment. There wasn’t any furniture, but there were a few blankets.

“Hey, guys.” Jessica sat down at their table, and Grant tried to ignore her. He didn’t want to have a conversation with anyone right now. He was too upset. “So…” She grabbed the shot glasses when the waiter put them on the table. “You won’t be needing these,” she said as the stage microphone turned on, sending a loud, ear-piercing noise throughout the building. “Stay.” She grabbed his arm, and Grant stared at her, wondering what her problem was.

“This song is for Grant and Justin. I’m sorry. I love you both so much, and I hope you can forgive me,” Alyssa’s sweet voice said, and Grant moved, staring at the stage. She nodded toward the DJ, and music started. He didn’t really know music very well, and he hoped that he would be able to recognize the song. Jessica must’ve seen the look on his face. “It’s Adele. ‘One and Only,’” she whispered, and he nodded, staring at Alyssa.

She closed her eyes, and the song began. Grant held his breath, listening to the words, letting them soak into his brain. He felt a lump form in his throat as tears streamed down her face. He wanted to go to her, hold her, and tell her everything was going to be okay. He looked at Justin and knew he was feeling the same way. They both loved her. They both wanted to be with her and could forgive her for anything.

She sang her heart out, opening her eyes and staring at them both. He stood up and walked toward the stage, waiting for the song to end. The words were clear. She was forgetting the past, letting go of all her doubts. She was willing to move forward and wanted them both in her future. That was all he needed to hear.

She gave the microphone to the DJ, and Grant pulled her into his arms, holding her while she cried. “I love you so much. Don’t leave me,” she whispered brokenly, and Grant tightened his hold on her.

He closed his eyes and felt Justin move in behind her. They let their warmth seep into her. “We aren’t ever leaving you. We love you way too much, and we love our baby,” Justin said, and Grant could only nod in agreement.

The pub was silent, and Grant knew that everyone was staring at them, but he didn’t care. This was his family, and he was proud to be standing there holding his woman. “Let’s go home. I think Alyssa needs to feel how much we love her.” Grant wrapped one arm around her waist, and they walked toward the exit, needing to be home.