Authors: Edie Jarolim

Am I Boring My Dog? (3 page)

BOOK: Am I Boring My Dog?

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PUREBRED PROS

Predictability. If you’re familiar with the dog’s lineage, you have a pretty good idea what to expect with regard to size, temperament, and so on.

You can aspire to appear on national TV in the Westminster Dog Show.

You have a ready answer to the oft-posed question, “What kind of dog is that?”

PUREBRED CONS

There’s a reason that many states have laws against marriage between first cousins. Unfortunately, no similar statutes exist to muzzle doggie inbreeding. In particular, breeding for looks rather than temperament or athletic prowess has resulted in dogs that are predisposed to a variety of illnesses and afflictions, including, as a friend said about a breed that shall remain nameless, “heads so narrow that they have no room for brains.”

You might be mocked in a film such as
Best in Show.

MIXED-BREED PROS

When people ask you what type of dog you have, you get to say stuff like “Heinz 57,” “Pure speculation,” or “Canardly.” This last one is particularly entertaining if the questioner nods sagely and claims to have heard of a canardly instead of looking puzzled and waiting for the punch line, “I can hardly tell.”

Fewer breed-related health problems.

The fun of blaming any undesirable traits on breeds you don’t like, and claiming a lineage from breeds that you do. Caveat: To avoid seeming arbitrary or vindictive, you have to be reasonable about said blame and claim, staying within the realm of possibility as regards to size, color, and other physical attributes.

MIXED-BREED CONS

Unpredictable health problems.

Unpredictable size if you get the dog as a puppy. That adorable little Yorkie mix might turn out to have some German Shepherd in him. (And no, it’s not impossible for two very divergent-size dogs to hook up. You’d be amazed what bitches in heat and the males who love them can do.)

7. GIVEN THE MORAL SUPERIORITY THAT RESCUING A DOG CONFERS, AM I A BAD PERSON FOR WANTING A PUREBRED?

No. Wanting a particular breed and wanting to rescue a dog are by no means mutually exclusive. According to the Humane Society of the United States, one of every four dogs in shelters is purebred. And the fact that they’ve been given up doesn’t mean these pups are losers. Most dogs end up homeless because of circumstances that have little to do with them—including the sudden homelessness of their owners.

The website of the American Kennel Club lists rescue organizations for more than 150 breeds, some that you might never have heard of, like the Spinone Italiano (perhaps a cousin of the Gelato Hound); see
www.akc.org/breeds/rescue.cfm
. There are even rescue groups devoted to designer hybrids such as Puggles and Labradoodles. Ask your local shelter if they know of rescuers in your area that specialize in the breed you’re seeking, and also check sites such as www.Pets911. com,
www.Petfinder.org
,
1-800-Save-A-Pet.com
, and
craigslist.com
.

You’re not a bad person either if you get a purebred from a breeder, as long as the breeder is reputable (see question 10).

If, however, you want a breed that matches your sofa and are likely to give the dog away after you redecorate your living room, then you
are
a bad person.

8. HOW MUCH CAN I EXPECT A PUREBRED TO COST?

Whatever the market will bear. You’ll pay the most for dogs at the opposite ends of the popularity spectrum: the most sought-after and the rarest.

At a minimum, a “pet-quality” purebred—one that deviates from breed standards to the degree that it isn’t considered dog show material—will run you $800, while “show-quality” pups start at about $1,500.

But that’s the bottom line, and when dogs become trendy, expect to pay double the aforementioned prices—or more. Unscrupulous breeders bank on that, literally, rushing to supply dogs whenever the demand for them grows.

Of course, if you rescue a dog in the first place, you’ll never pay more than the spay/neuter and veterinarian fees (see question 13).

9. HOW DO I FIND THE RIGHT BREED FOR ME/MY FAMILY?

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