Amaranth (13 page)

“Yes, and yes.” She flinched when she saw my reaction.
“Look, nothing bad might happen. There’s no guarantee what Samira will or won’t
do, to any of us, when we approach her. That’s why I chose to go with Gabe,”
she scrutinized my face again, “but it’s worth it, Camille. They’ve wanted to
be free for a very long time. I promise you, Gavin plans on doing whatever’s
necessary to protect both of you.”

To this point, I’ve been mostly able to take it all in. This
was too much. “That’s a crock, Audrey. How did he possibly plan on
protecting
me, being what he is? By going to see this
Samira person, he’s on a death wish. He’s going to kill himself. He’s only
bringing me down with him, nearly getting me killed last night. And you had a
say in this. I didn’t.”

Hurt colored her expression. “To be fair, Camille, you
didn’t exactly fill him in about your history with Andrew. He didn’t know
Andrew was one of us until last night, before the attack. Gavin didn’t put you
in harm’s way, he saved you. And he won’t put you in danger if he can help it.
That’s
why you didn’t have a say.”

“Don’t you dare talk to me about what’s fair.” My breathing
grew rapid again and I felt blood thudding in my ears. “I was in danger
regardless
of Andrew being in the picture. Gavin could
have killed me himself, any of you could.” Did she really think she could fool
me into believing Gavin was the true-blue good guy in all this? “When did he
plan on telling me this, then? Was he going to just drop the bomb when he left
on his suicide mission?”

“I can only tell you this: He never meant for things to
unfold this way, and there’s a lot you don’t know. No matter what you say, I
know you love him. That’s one thing you can’t escape, whether you like the
circumstances or not. And he loves
you
, you know
that. Neither one of you could’ve stopped this from happening, you would’ve found
each other at some point. Finding your soul mate’s inevitable.”

I slammed my fist on the couch. “To have a soul mate, you
must have a
soul
.” The crippling pain in my side
made a comeback as I pushed the words out.

“You should let
him
talk to
you about that.” She moved away from me, smoothed out her shirt, folded her
arms. “Are you ready to talk to him now? Let him explain.”

“I need to rest. I don’t feel like talking to another liar
today.” I knew it was a low blow, but as much as I loved Audrey, she deserved
this. I flopped back onto the sofa and wrapped myself up. “Tell him to leave me
alone.”

She hung her head, but peeked at me from the corner of her
eyes, then reached in and pulled a red flannel
mojo
bag from her purse and set it quietly on the coffee table. “From Vivienne. For
the pain later.”

She paused at the front window as she made her way to the
door, watched the sun as it began to rise. “Please don’t do something you may
regret, Camille.” She’d muttered this, her back to me, but I heard her.

Putting on her sunglasses, she stepped through the front
door.

Stupid, disloyal, lying vampire.
What does she know?
I closed my eyes and surrendered to sweet sleep.

Days passed as I waited for my injuries to heal. Gabe left
me some kind of phony doctor’s note for work regarding my supposed car
accident, and thankfully, fall classes didn’t start for a few more weeks. Carol
called the house several times, and I assured her I wouldn’t be out of
commission for much longer. Gabe kept an eye on the perimeter of my house for
any reappearance of Andrew, and provided pain meds as I needed them, sometimes
even when I didn’t think I did. I resented taking the meds for the bond it
suddenly gave me with my mother, but they helped.

I still didn’t want to see Audrey. Although Gabe had broken
my trust as well, it was less personal with him. As he catered to my every
need, I grew fond of him. He had a good heart, and better intentions.
Unfortunately, so did Gavin. But that didn’t change things.

Audrey sent numerous notes and messages with Gabe for him to
relay to me, but she wasn’t the one I wanted to speak to. Gavin hadn’t called
or come to see me. Gabe told me Gavin was trying to give me my space, but I had
enough space, pent up in the house for days, with plenty of time to think.

By the time I was ready to go back to work, his absence
overwhelmed me, but I still wasn’t sure if I was ready to face him. No matter
what had happened, I missed him. He’d changed me in the strangest of ways. I
didn’t look down when I walked anymore, and I longed to see places I’d never
seen and to learn things I’d never learned. He was pure, fresh air that
expelled the poison I once ingested, stopped it before it claimed my life.

Audrey was right about one thing. I couldn’t escape love,
the very thing that kept me mobile since the day I realized I was capable of
giving
and
receiving it.

Happy to be done with my first day back at work, I went to
see Vivienne. She was turning the “Open” sign to “Closed,” but when she saw me,
her eyes flew wide and she unlocked the door.

I handed over the pouch that Audrey gave me. “I didn’t use
the
mojo
bag. I had pain medication, but thanks
anyway.”

“Nah, this wasn’t for physical pain, child. It was for a
broken heart.” She placed the bag back in my hand, closed it into a fist. “
Findin
’ out what he was sure don’t do your heart no good.”

“How did you know about them?” I whispered, looked around.
“Why didn’t you tell me what they are—?”

She shushed me and turned to the record player behind the
counter to turn the volume up, then led me through a brick dust-lined doorway,
bones hanging above it, to a small, dark room.

“Listen nah child, I didn’t know what
ya
were
dealin
’ with ’til
ya
found out the spells weren’t
workin
’. I tried to
explain but
ya
jus’ wouldn’t listen. Truth is, we
have a long history with the frozen souls, and it
ain’t
never end good. But this one here that saved
ya
,” she
reached out and pointed to my chest, took my locket in her hand and held onto
it, “he got some
kinda
fire in him,
burnin
’ the ice,
ya
hear?”

“What does that mean? They have history with Voodoo? Tell me
what I’m supposed to do.”

“I’m no psychic, child. But as an
ol
’
rootworker
once said, no harm in
followin
’
somethin
’ that feels right ’til
ya
discover it’s the wrong road. This one here,” she gently grasped the locket
tighter and shook it, stared into my eyes, “he the beginning of things to come
for the frozen souls. Don’t be afraid,
ya
hear? Go
see him before it’s too late.”

“Too late for what? Please, tell me about the history. Tell
me what you know—”

“Another time, child, another time.
Ya
gon
’ listen to me this time or not?”

“I guess, but—”

“But
nothin
’, nah. Scat!” She took
me by the shoulders and spun me around, shooed me out the door like a fly.

Before I jumped on the highway, I took one last glance in
the rearview mirror and eyed my tall black riding boots and burgundy dress, so
nervous I could hardly think straight. I adjusted the crescent locket that
dangled around my neck, wondered if Vivienne would ever tell me all she knew
about the vampires. I threw the Jeep into reverse and made my way to the Duval
house, ready to take her advice.

When I pulled up, the whole house was lit with a warm glow,
illuminating the grounds surrounding it. I shuffled up to the porch; the first
signs of a milder-than-usual Louisiana fall welcomed me as I approached the
door. The familiar end-of-summer breeze swayed through the tall oaks while
leaves danced lightly around my feet.

Not bothering to knock, I let myself in and entered the main
corridor. An echo of beautiful music surrounded me, invited me in as I casually
floated toward the night’s fate. Curious, I wandered around the corner to
Gavin’s main living room area, entranced by the riveting melody that filled my
ears, “Beethoven’s Moonlight Sonata.” My heart leaped at the sound of my
favorite piece.

There Gavin sat, perched at the grand piano in the corner,
his back to me as he played. I eyed his apparel, the same black suit he’d worn
the night of our ill-fated date.

I allowed my feet to slide me toward where he sat, my eyes
glued to the keys as fingers moved over them. When I neared the side of the
bench, he didn’t acknowledge my presence, didn’t even move, but instead
concluded the sonata. I walked to the enormous window that sat next to the
piano and stared off into the night, and my hair blew against the side of my
face as his feet lifted from the floor and flew next to me in a soft flash.

“You knew I was coming.” I didn’t look at him.

“Yes. Audrey said you might come tonight.”

“Figures.”

“I hate for you to see me like this.”

At once I turned my eyes to his. The moon’s grim hue shone
on his pale, already luminous skin, his eyes darker than normal, yet not quite
the dead black I’d seen the night of my attack. There was a heavy sadness in
them, an apology lurking behind the irises.

“I would have seen you like this at some point,” I said.
“It’s about time I see you as you are.”

“Not telling you is inexcusable,” he agreed, his sharp fangs
revealing themselves from behind his lips as he spoke. At first sight, it was
hard to look away. “I know that all of this is a lot to process.”

“It alters my entire reality,” I replied, letting my
lingering hurt show. He looked down, tucked his hands in his pockets. “I just
have to know one thing.”

“
One
thing?”

“What did you expect to happen? I mean, even if Andrew never
came for me. If that whole night never happened. I would have found out, or you
would’ve had to tell me anyway.” I pried my eyes away from his teeth and back
to his eyes, awaited his response. He began to speak but paused; the room
filled with silence. “You planned on keeping it from me indefinitely, didn’t
you.”

“No.”

“So, what? You were just going to wait around until I
accidentally stumbled over to your house after midnight to find you like
this
?”

“Camille, no. Nothing like that.” He ran his hand across his
forehead and through his hair. “There’s so much you don’t know, there’s so much
to explain.” He sighed heavily, turned to stare out the window.

I straightened my posture and folded my arms, furrowed my
brows. “So explain.”

“I can promise you, I honestly never expected you to find
out this way. Not in a million years. I had no idea you were seeing Andrew.
That he was the one you were trying to get away from.”

“Audrey told me. She said you and Gabe were forced to tell
me the truth because of the attack. I can’t even fathom how you honestly
thought you could keep it from me in the first place.”

“I wasn’t planning on it being part of the equation. That’s
how I thought it would be possible.”

I bit my lip and began to fidget, distracted by his fangs.
“What are you talking about?”

“Look. I know this entire
thing
is insane to you, but I was hoping I wouldn’t be what I am … for much longer.”

“By going to see Samira?”

He jutted his head backward. “You know about Samira?”

“You forget that your best friend is now in love with the
nosiest vampire in the world. When she dishes details, she doesn’t leave
anything out.”

“Oh, right,” he started to chuckle but stopped himself.
“Well, yes, that’s a part of it. I planned on leaving with Gabe for a while and
then coming back—”

“But you still
willingly
got
involved with me before you even knew for sure that this
creator
of yours could grant your request. To make
matters worse, you set
another
vampire up with
my best friend, my only family. You’re responsible for what’s happened to
Audrey, too. She’ll never be the same because of you.” My voice grew shaky and
I stepped farther away from him, wrapped my arms tight around my body.

“I know I don’t deserve it,” he said, his voice rough, “but
please listen. Lying to you is the most selfish thing I’ve ever done, in all of
my existence. I have no other defense than I had to know you. I felt like I
would regret it for the duration of my eternity if I didn’t. I just had to be
near you.”

He stepped closer to me, reached for my face. “Gabe and I
were trying to live a new way, and … I got overly confident. I admit that. I
was so convinced we could coexist, that our kind was capable of loving without
hurting. I wanted to love a mortal as a mortal could. And then you came
along.…”

I pulled his hands from my face. My head didn’t want to hear
this, but my heart did.

“You weren’t like other mortals,” he continued, recoiled his
hands, “you were so foreign to me, an absolute enigma. It drove me crazy. Most
mortals instinctually steer clear of us, but you—” He leaned his weight on the
ledge of the window, searched for my eyes again. “You were curious. Unabashed.
And unafraid. Your courage astounded me. The day we met in Paris, you seemed so
detached from this world and everything in it, like you’d been looking for
something more than what it could offer. It seemed as if you’d been looking for
centuries, without ever really knowing what you were after in the first place. The
longing was written all over your face.”

I wanted to run, wanted to cover my ears and block out his
words. But my feet were cement, and I was desperate for his voice, desperate
with the need to accept his confession.