Amazed (Tempted Book 3) (16 page)

The scorching water spewed all over my skin. Frantically rubbing my skin with soap, I tried to wash it all away. These long showers had become a routine since that night but no matter how much I scrubbed I never felt clean.

Every time I looked in the mirror I didn’t see me anymore. I was replaced by a broken scarred girl. Thinking about his hands roaming my body, I slid down the wall and started sobbing. Why did this have to happen to me? I asked myself that question every morning.

I heard some knocking on my bedroom door but I ignored it and continued to let the water wash my tears away.

Hearing a loud crash, I pulled my legs to my chest. My heart started to beat like a kick drum in my chest. The police hadn’t found Talon yet and that scared me because I kept looking over my shoulder waiting on him to come back.

The shower door flung open and I immediately dropped my gaze to the floor.

“P-please don’t hurt me,” I said, shaking with fear.

Feeling arms scoop me up and wrap me in a towel, I kept my eyes shut. If it was Talon I didn’t want to see his face.

“I’m not going to hurt you. I would never hurt you,” the mystery man whispered against my cheek.

After hearing his voice and recognizing his touch I felt safe. Opening my eyes, I saw Ethan’s face.

“I was so scared, Ethan, I thought you were Talon,” I said, resting my head on his shoulder.

“Let’s get you dressed,” he said, laying very gently on the bed.

Watching him rummage through my drawers, I saw him head my way with one of his football t-shirts, plaid pajama pants, and a pair of underwear. Removing my towel, he slid the panties up my legs and then helped me slip the shirt and pants on. Without saying a word, he disappeared into the bathroom and then reappeared with a hair brush.

“Would you be okay with sitting on my lap?” he asked, sitting down on the chair in the corner of my room.

My body started to tremble at that question. My mind was running over time wondering why he wanted me to sit on his lap. Part of me wanted to but part of me was terrified. Sensing my hesitation, Ethan waved the hair brush around showing me he just wanted to brush my wet hair.

I could do that, couldn’t I?

“If you’re not comfortable then we can sit on the floor,” he said, getting up to move.

I had to try to move past everything and get better. I couldn’t live in fear of everything and everyone. I had a life to live.

“No, it’s fine. I can sit on your lap,” I told him, walking over to him and sitting down.

He worked the brush through my hair and I felt my body start to tense up.

Snap out of it, Grace.

Finishing brushing my hair, I sat the brush down on the small table beside him and rested his hands on my thighs.

“I’m so sorry, baby,” he whispered, leaning his head against mine.

Being so close to him, I felt myself start to freak out but I got in check.

“S-sorry for what?” I stammered.

I had been doing that a lot lately.

“For taking out my anger on you when I tore my ACL. I felt like shit every time I watched you walk away knowing I hurt you. I’m sorry for making you think I didn’t love when in reality I not only love you, I live for you. But most of all I’m sorry for what that son of a bitch did to you,” he said, rubbing his thumb along his waterline getting rid of the tears before they fell down his face.

“That wasn’t your fault, Ethan,” I said, feeling my heart break even more watching him cry.

Ethan was an alpha male to the extreme and I had never ever seen him cry, so to see him cry over me shocked me.

“It was, Grace. If I wouldn’t have pushed you away you would have been at the shop when that lunatic came to your apartment,” he said, caressing my cheek.

“I don’t blame you,” I told him, jumping up from his lap.

I wanted to sit there forever but it was too close for comfort. Looking at the expression on his face, I knew he was trying to think of what he done but he hadn’t done anything. He wasn’t the problem, I was the problem.

“What did I do?” he asked, concern evident on his face.

“Nothing. I just need some time before I can be that close to a man,” I said, looking anywhere but at him because I was super embarrassed.

“I totally understand that. Goodnight, Amazing Grace,” he said, walking out the door and closing it softly behind him.

As soon as he left I crawled on my bed, got into fetal position, and cried myself to sleep.

The next morning I drug myself out of bed and forced myself to get dressed not just lounge around in pajamas all day. I needed to get my old self back, I knew it was going to a long road and a tough fight but it had to be done.

Exiting my room, I walked into the living area and saw someone asleep on the couch. Hearing noises coming from the kitchen, I tiptoed past the couch.

“Holland, who’s asleep on our couch?” I asked, turning the corner to enter the kitchen.

She looked up from her plate and smiled at me.

“It’s Ethan,” she said, taking a sip of orange juice.

“Okay, why is Ethan here?” I asked, putting bread in the toaster.

“He said he was worried about you. I told him I was here with you but he wouldn’t leave,” she said with a faint smile dancing across her lips.

I couldn’t help but smile at that too. He was sweet and considerate, nothing like Talon but I couldn’t find it in myself to get close to him.

Not yet anyway.

Talon had taken so much from me. He robbed me of my confidence, my trust, and my peace of mind. But he did leave me with something, he left me with fear. Fear of my surroundings. Fear of a man’s touch. Fear of being intimate.

How do you come back from something like that? How can you be okay after your body has been violated? Those were questions I didn’t have the answers to but I intended to find out.

“Good morning, ladies,” Ethan said, yawning as he made his way into the kitchen.

It didn’t take me long to notice he was shirtless. Shocking myself, I felt my body react. That was the first time since my rape that a man made me feel something other than fear.

“Morning,” Holland said through a mouth full of food, looking at me for me to say something.

But you know what I did? I stood there like a mute.

“You’re just as classy as always, huh?” Ethan asked Holland, cutting his eyes in my direction.

“Eat me,” she said, giving him a shit eating grin.

“So much for being innocent,” he said, pouring himself a glass of orange juice.

I found myself watching his every move, completely drinking him in. Feeling my stare, he turned to face me.

“Good morning, beautiful,” he said, looking at me the way every woman wants to be looked at.

The way I always wanted him to look at me. It was like he had never seen anything more beautiful in his life. But he couldn’t possibly think I was beautiful after what happened to me, could he?

“Don’t call me that,” I said softly, trying not to sound rude.

It’s not that I didn’t like him calling me that it was just that I didn’t feel beautiful anymore. But it just sounded so damn good coming from his lips.

“Why not?”

“Because I’m not beautiful anymore, I’m dirty and ruined,” I said, clenching my eyes shut as an attempt to keep the tears in.

It didn’t work. Feeling one tear trickle down my face, I wiped it away hoping no one saw it.

I was sick of the pity looks everyone gave me and I was tired of crying. I was drowning in my tears and I couldn’t make my way to the service.

“Don’t ever say that again,” he growled, causing me to jump.

I had never seen Ethan so intense not even on the football field or even the bedroom for that matter.

“Why? It’s true,” I said, letting the tears flood out of my eyes.

Burying my head in my hands, I felt arms wrap around me and I didn’t flinch, not even once.

“You’re right, Grace. You aren’t beautiful, you’re gorgeous. You’re perfect. And don’t you ever say you’re ruined,” he said, making me believe every word.

Looking in Holland’s direction for help, I didn’t see her. When had she left the room?

“How could you love me now?” I asked, feeling embarrassed.

He looked at me as if I had lost my damn mind.

“The same way I did before, with all of my heart and soul,” he said, causing my stomach to flutter.

I immediately recognized the sensation.
Butterflies.

I hadn’t felt them in a while but it felt good to feel something positive. I liked seeing some light instead of being trapped in the dark.

“What are you saying?” I asked him.

“I’m saying you’re it for me and I want us back.”

He wasn’t asking for a lot but at the same time he was asking for the world, but I didn’t know if I would be able to give it to him.

“I can’t rush into anything right now,” I told him, trying to warn him that I was damaged goods and hoping he was picking up on it.

“I can handle it,” he promised, rubbing his hands down my arms, “Slow and steady wins the race.”

Smiling, I pushed myself out of my comfort zone.

“Okay.”

Laughing, he picked me up and spun me around. It amazed me how one word generated such a big response.

Proving to me that he respected my request to take things slow, he placed a soft kiss on my cheek.

“What do you want to do tonight, babe?” he asked, moving away from me before I had the chance to freak out.

I needed to get the feel of being a couple again, so I know what we needed to.

“Can we stay in?” I asked, putting all of the dirty dishes in the dishwasher.

“I was hoping you’d say that,” he said, leaning in to kiss my forehead, “I’m going to grab a quick shower and get dressed because I have to be at the shop by eleven.”

After cleaning up the kitchen, Ethan walked back in.

“See you tonight. Wear pajamas and no make-up. Oh and that messy knob hairstyle you wear to bed. I love you,” he said, giving me a goodbye kiss.

He missed kissing me, could you tell?

Hearing him say I love you, I knew I had a deer in the headlights look. A look of confusion appeared on his face but then I saw the light bulb go off.

“Oh no, I’m telling you I love you. Conversation over. See you tonight, I love you,” he said, walking out of the door before I had a chance to say anything.

A smart move on his part because I was definitely going to tell him not to say it.

But I had to admit it felt good to know he loved me no matter what and that he didn’t look at me any differently.

He always called me Amazing Grace but if I had to say so myself he was the amazing one.

Ethan- On my way. I love you.

Smiling, I sat my phone on the coffee table beside the couch. I was rocking the messy bun that Ethan asked for, Chinese take-out was on the way, and movies were picked out.

Holland was out for the night, she went to see a movie with Maddie. I begged her to stay but she told me that she couldn’t hold my hand forever. She told me to put on my big girl panties, so that’s what I was going to
try
to do. Try being the keyword.

She said it was tough love but I said it was being a bitch.

I felt like we were about to have our first date but that couldn’t have any further from the truth. At that point we were like an old married couple who kept drawing the short end of the stick. I mean seriously it was like we couldn’t be happy. I think after all we had been through we deserved that. In fact I knew we did.

But I also knew that at that moment I was the only thing keeping us from our happy ending. Our future rested on my shoulders.

I needed everything to develop slowly but how slow was too slow and how long would it take before Ethan realized there was others girls that could and would willingly give him what he wanted? How long until he realized I wasn’t worth the wait?

“Honey, I’m home,” I heard Ethan sing song on the other side of the door.

Laughing, I pushed my negative thoughts to the back of my head. Getting up from the couch, I checked to see how I looked in the mirror and then I remembered I was in pajamas. I looked like a hot mess but that was what Ethan wanted and like he always said “What Ethan want Ethan gets.”

Opening the door, I looked at his face and saw his eyes light up. I looked like shit but he was checking me out like I was all decked out.

“You look beautiful,” he said, walking inside and closing the door behind him.

Rolling my eyes, I walked to the couch and pulled the throw over me.

“Don’t make fun of me. This is how you wanted me to look, so don’t blame me,” I told him, tucking my feet under me when he sat down beside me.

“I’m not making fun of you, babe. I love you like this.”

Feeling my cheeks heat up, I turned my gaze to the TV.

“So, which movie do you want to watch?” I asked him, trying to act like he wasn’t affecting me.

But he was. My breathing picked up just listening to him breath. My heart started beating faster just watching him bite his lip and narrowing his eyes while picking out a movie. All of this way happening just because he was near me. It was amazing how he could affect me so much not even touching me.

“Something scary,” he said, searching for the right movie.

Shocker.

“Why something scary?” I asked.

“Because maybe just maybe if you get scared enough you’ll let me hold you,” he said, looking over at me and winking.

Hearing someone knock on the door, I fist pumped internally. I was just a tad bit thankful for the very welcome interruption.

“Must be the food,” I said, jumping up with a little too much enthusiasm.

Opening the door, I grabbed for my purse on the floor to pay the delivery guy.

“Babe, back up,” Ethan said, sounding tense.

Turning around to look at Ethan, I gave him a questioning look when I saw the pissed off expression on his face.

“Did you want pizza instead?” I asked, feeling way beyond confused.

“Leave or I’ll call the cops,” Ethan said, threating the delivery guy.

What was his problem? Turning around, I saw who it was and I felt vile rise in my throat.

Talon was standing in my doorway with a sick grin on his face.

I tried to move but it felt like my feet were super glued to the hardwood.

“Grace, I’ve missed your body,” Talon said, running his hand down my arms.

Being pulled away from his touch, I felt onto Ethan’s chest.

“Don’t touch her,” Ethan growled, gripping me tighter with every word, “Grace, go in your room and lock the door. Don’t come out.”

Nodding, I ran like Lighting and slammed the door behind me.

I could hear muffled voices, but I couldn’t make out what they were saying. Pacing back and forth, I felt my through try to close up and I started to break out in a cold sweat. I was having an anxiety attack.

I took a few deep breaths to calm myself down.

I couldn’t let Ethan stay out there alone with that monster, so I did the first thing I could think of. I grabbed my phone and dialed Roman.

“Grace, what’s up?” he asked, sounding confused.

I knew I was going to get that reaction from him because I never call Roman.

“Roman, you need to get here now,” I told him, sniffling.

“Are you crying? What’s wrong?”

“Ethan came over and we were about to watch a movie when someone rang the doorbell. I thought it was our food being delivered but it was Talon, Roman.”

“Where are you now?” he asked.

“I’m in my r-room,” I said, trying to stop crying.

“Breathe, Grace. Where is Ethan?”

“In the living room with Talon. Get here quick, Roman. He needs you.”

“I’m on my way,” he said before hanging up.

Hearing glass shatter, I jumped.

Getting in the corner, I slid down the wall and pulled my knees to my chest. Rocking back and forth, I prayed that this nightmare would end and I would never have to see Talon again.

Hearing another voice, I got up and slowly walked to the door. Pressing my ear against it, I tried find out what was going on.

Feeling something roughly hit the door, I jumped back. My mind started to go through all the scenarios that could have been happening on the other side of my bedroom door.

What if Ethan gets hurt?

What if Roman gets hurt?

What if Talon gets away again?

What if Talon comes near me and hurts me again?

All of the “what if” questions had me on the verge of another anxiety attack.

“What do I do?” I asked myself, pacing back and forth.

I had two choices, I could stay in my room and hide or I could stand up to him. I could take my life back and not give him what he wanted. Fear.

Choosing to not be afraid anymore, I opened my door and saw Roman sprawled out across the floor holding his knee.

“Grace, I told you to stay in your room,” Ethan yelled, causing me to turn my head to find where he was at.

He was standing over Talon’s lifeless body.

“I didn’t want to let fear take over me anymore,” I said, staring at Talon, “Is he dead?”

“No, but I wish he was,” Ethan replied, looking at Talon with disgust all over his face, “Call the police.”

Running into my room, I grabbed my phone from its place on my bed and dialed 911. After hanging up, I ran back in the living room and saw Roman standing, well more like leaning on the couch for support but he was up. That’s all that mattered.

“They’re on their way,” I announced, making my way to Ethan and planting myself in his arms, “I love you.”

Ethan’s whole face relaxed when I said that. Looking down at me, he smiled and pulled in close.

“I love you,” he said, kissing my cheek.

Feeling brave, I knew it was the perfect time for me to take charge.

“Come on, Baby, kiss me like you mean it,” I told him, pulling him by his shirt.

“Ouch,” Roman said, grabbing his knee, “Get a room.”

Raising his eyebrow, he put his lips on mine and fireworks went off. For the first time in a while I actually felt safe. I felt like I was exactly where I was supposed to be.

Our kiss was cut short because just as it was getting good the police knocked on the door.

“I would get it but I don’t think I could make it to the door without falling over. He kicked my ass,” Roman said, pointing to the door.

Pain was evident on his face. If Emma would have been there she would have kicked Talon when he was down. Literally.

The police asked what seemed like a million questions and then finally they left.

“Roman! Where are you?” Emma shrieked, busting in the room with tears streaming down her face and Kate on her hip.

Kate was giving her a “What the heck” look but I understood those tears, I knew the meaning behind them. She was in love and the love of her life was in danger and she didn’t even know it was happening. I know what went through her head when she found out he was hurt. She loved him fully. She loved him with everything she had. I got it because that’s the way I loved Ethan.

It’s special and rare to find that kind of love. The kind you cherish. The kind that comes before anything and everything. The kind you read about, hear songs about, and watch movies about. The kind that gives you chills and makes you smile. The kind that makes you believe in happy endings. The kind that makes you happy. The kind that is real.

I had found it. Sure, it was a bumpy road but Ethan was finally mine and I was finally his. For good this time.

For always.