Ambrosia Shore (32 page)

I took his advice with a subtle nod. It wasn’t a promise, but at least there was a chance.

My father took in a deep breath, pausing to study his lap. “Sadie, there’s something I’ve been meaning to say. I…know you’ve been through a lot, and I haven’t really been there for you. And I don’t just mean this last year; I’m talking about your entire life. I eventually learned that you were here with your mother, but I still chose to leave. I don’t blame you for resenting me. I just want you to know that it means a lot to me that you’ve been so supportive of your mother, even when she decided to take me back so easily. She was very lucky to have you as a daughter all these years.”

I felt like I wanted to respond, maybe apologize for being so cold to him the last time he was here. But just when I was about to speak, my father reached into his bag and said, “If it’s okay with you, there’s something else I would like to give you.”

“Uh, okay,” I said, pushing the more difficult words back again.

When he pulled out the same stack of papers he had reached for before and handed it to me, I realized it was actually a stack of envelopes—a stack so big I had to hold them with two hands. I gazed down at them, dumbfounded, unable to speak.

“I know this doesn’t make up for anything,” my father said, “but I read your letters, the ones you wrote to me in your diary, every last one.”

I shook my head. “How?”

“Rayne. He brought copies of them to me at our meets. Please don’t be upset with him. He was just doing as I instructed.”

I glanced back down at the envelopes. “So, these are copies of my letters? You’re giving them back to me?”

My father’s mouth twisted. I could see his eyes turning red with tears. “No,” he pushed out, “no, these are my responses. I wrote you back every time. I just could never send them.” His voice trembled. “I can’t tell you how much my heart
ached
to be a part of your life all those years.”

My lower lip began to shake, his words swelling through my chest, causing my eyes to sting. He wrote to me… my father… all this time.

He cleared his throat, taking back control of his voice. “Don’t feel obligated to read them,” he said.

Warmth spread through me, the film of ice around my heart finally melting away. I felt my eyes grow big and earnest. “No,” I said, “I want to read them.” I stared down at the large stack of papers in my lap, hardly able to believe they were real. “I never imagined that you would ever read my letters. I mean, I always hoped, but I never—” I couldn’t finish the sentence. Tears streamed down my cheeks.

Every word I had ever written to him in my diary seemed to flood back through my mind. Most of my life, from the age of seven, was written in that book, and he had read them all. I gazed up into my father’s eyes. They looked different somehow, less distant, less overwhelming. Those eyes knew me so much more than I ever thought possible, and right here in my hands was the opportunity to know them too.

I had to see it for myself to believe that it was true. With a wishful heart I slid one of the envelopes from the stack and removed the neatly folded pieces of paper. I examined them slowly, gently, considering what precious contents they might contain. There were several pages, with hand-written words filled on front and back. The handwriting wasn’t familiar, but as I ran my fingers over the letters, I realized that one day it could be, one day very soon.

When I glanced over the last page of the letter, the feelings of awe and appreciation flooded through my chest as my gaze centered on two poignant, stirring words… Love, Dad.

With his own letters of reply right in the palms of my hands, the phrase
Dear Dad
, the one I had written on countless occasions as nothing more than an intangible idea, now had real meaning.
Dear Dad
wasn’t just a story my mother told me before bed, or a reminder of all the ways I was sure to be abandoned, or a distant dream that would never come true; it was a man with flesh and bones, and responsibilities and feelings, a real person who cared about me—a person who loved me.

For the first time, this man sitting before me felt like…Dad.

I gently folded the papers and placed them back in the envelope, still clutching the collection of letters in my lap as if I could not breathe without them. I gazed back into my father’s eyes. “You don’t know how much these mean to me,” I said. “I don’t know what to say.”

His eyes were pleading as he replied. “Just say that you’ll forgive me, that you’ll give me a second chance.”

Suddenly, I felt free, with nothing to hold me back. A genuine smile burst through my tears. “Yes,” I said. I sprang forward on the couch, reaching out my arms. I felt my father hug me tight, willing away the years of separation. A lifetime of pain, resentment, and fear, bled out from my heart until it finally disappeared. I let the lightness fill me as I murmured again, “Yes. Yes, I forgive you…Dad.”

I glanced up over my father’s shoulder and found my mother standing at the entrance of the room, observing quietly. Her eyes were red with emotion, her mouth curved upward with a look of pure joy, as if she had been waiting for this moment her entire life.

When she saw me smile back, my mom burst across the room, reaching out her arms and wrapping them tightly around both of us. “I’m sorry for barging in,” she said. “I just couldn’t contain myself. Seeing the two of you together this way… is like an answer to my prayers. I’ve never felt so happy; not since the day Sadie was born.”

I pulled back and examined both my parents’ faces. “Me too,” I said.

My father’s expression was gratitude and happiness, but my mom’s face radiated with light like it was beyond her control. “Okay, now tell me if I’m crazy,” she said, “but I think this calls for a celebration.” Her cheerful attention oscillated back and forth from me to my dad. “What do you think? I know we have a lot to do, but it can wait, right? I just want to spend the entire evening having a wonderful time with my two favorite people in the entire world.”

My father and I agreed to dinner without hesitation.

“Excellent,” my mom cheered. “I’ll go make some dinner reservations.” When she made it halfway across the room, she stopped quickly and turned back around. “Oh, and don’t forget to call Rayne,” she said to me. “He’s invited too.”

A short time later, Rayne was taking my hand and leading me into the back seat of my father’s car. It was strange to see Rayne climb into the back seat next to me. I was used to him being the one in the driver’s seat, the one guiding my course, taking on the role of confident protector. But he seemed different around my father, still himself, but a little more disciplined or restrained. When he looked at my father, I could see the respect in his eyes, looking at a man he had served loyally for a good part of his life, a man he knew much better than I did.

Aside from the last few weeks, I didn’t have any real memories of my father. I didn’t know what his personality was like, or what types of things he enjoyed, or places he had been, but I finally felt ready to find out. I was ready to let the past be the past and just soak up every new moment I could with him.

As Rayne held my hand in the back of the car I watched my father’s face in the front seat. I watched the way he talked, the way he laughed, the way he sent little glances to my mother when he thought we weren’t looking. All throughout the night, from the car ride to the restaurant lobby to the dessert, I found myself watching him—my father, here, with us, to stay.

When the restaurant server dropped off our check, I held back an amused grin, watching as my dad stole it playfully from my mom’s hands. The chatter from a room full of conversing diners around us suddenly fell to silence in my mind. I heard nothing but my parents’ laughter, their happy sighs, as if our table was the only table in the room. It wasn’t just me and mom, or just me and Rayne. It felt like a family.

With a happy grin I turned to look at Rayne, only to find that he was already looking back at me. He seemed amused.

“What?” I said, embarrassed. “Do I have something on my face?” I wiped my hand across my cheek where he appeared to be staring.

He laughed. “No…” Then his eyes went soft. “I just like seeing you look so happy.”

I grinned back and whispered, “I am happy.”

Rayne lifted his arm, urging me to lean against his side. As I rested myself against him I glanced back at my parents, and I understood the word content. There wasn’t a single thing I would change. Everything felt right.

In just one night out, I already learned that my father had traveled to forty-seven different countries as a Water Keeper before he became the Ambassador; that he absolutely loved rib eye steak but didn’t care for peanut butter—which in my mind was just crazy because peanut butter was one of the most delicious things in the world; and more importantly, I learned that he was ready to treat me and my mom like nothing less than a princess and a queen.

On the way home from dinner I thought about my father’s letters again. I didn’t even have a chance to read them yet, but somehow, just knowing they were there made me feel happy and secure. I wasn’t really in a rush. I knew I had the rest of my life to learn all about my dad. Of course, that didn’t stop me from staying up half the night to read as many letters as I could manage before my eyelids finally demanded sleep.

I woke up the next morning feeling completely confident. I knew my father loved me, that he was proud of me, and that he desired more than anything for me to be happy and succeed. I didn’t have to doubt anymore. I had the proof, right in my father’s own words.

As much as I wanted to spend as much time with my newly reunited family as possible, reality set in that my friends were the ones I would have to leave behind. My mother, my father, and Rayne were all coming with me; Heather was not. I loved all my friends, but Heather was the one who was there for me the most. And she had absolutely no idea that I had to leave in just a few days, with a very small chance I could ever return.

“We need to talk,” I said to her Saturday afternoon.

Heather grimaced. “Don’t say that. Whenever you start a conversation that way, I know you’re about to tell me horrible news, like my dog just died or something.”

I laughed and shook my head. “You don’t even have a dog.”

“No, but if I did, I wouldn’t want you to tell me that it died.”

“This has absolutely nothing to do with any dogs,” I said. “Actually, it’s about my dad. He came back yesterday.”

Heather’s eyes went wide. “Really? So…that’s a good thing, right?” My expression fell as I looked away. Heather sensed my hesitation. “Wait, so that’s not a good thing?”

“No, it’s a good thing,” I said. “I mean, actually, it’s kind of awesome. He says he’s planning to stay with us for real this time, and I believe he means it.”

“Oh my gosh, that’s amazing. I’m so happy for you guys.” Heather laughed and hit me playfully across the arm. “You’re so mean; I totally, like, thought something terrible just happened.”

I looked away again. “Well…not exactly terrible, but I do have some bad news.” I watched her face carefully as I explained. “In order to go work for my father’s organization, I kind of have to leave in less than a week; pretty much right after graduation.”

Heather’s skin went white, her eyes glazed with shock. “You’re leaving in a few days?”

I nodded slowly. “Yeah, and my mom’s coming with us. I’m not just traveling for a job, we’re officially moving away.”

I’d never seen Heather so quiet. When she was upset she usually blurted things out and got in your face, but this time, she just bit the inside of her cheek, glancing around the room as if she were searching for the strength to respond.

“I would have told you sooner,” I said, “but I didn’t know for sure until my dad came back yesterday.”

After a long pause, one side of Heather’s mouth lifted. “You called him Dad… That’s the first time in years that I’ve heard you call your father Dad.”

I couldn’t help my smile. “Yeah, I know. I feel different with him now. We sort of… bonded.”

She looked at me thoughtfully. “I’m really happy for you, Sade. I mean it. If anyone deserves to be happy I think it’s you.”

“Thanks,” I said. “That means a lot. And just so you know I’m planning on spending every free moment before I leave… with my best friend.”

And that was exactly what I did. Over those next few days, Heather and I spent every waking moment together.

That first night I slept over at Heather’s house. I always figured she had a few little secrets of her own, but I was completely surprised when she pulled out a huge scrapbook, one I had never even heard her mention before, which contained a thorough record of almost every single memory we ever created together. Everything was documented with pictures and ticket stubs and little items saved as mementos. It was impressive; a project that obviously took years of dedication.

We spent hours looking through the scrapbook together, just laughing and remembering all the fun times.

The next morning we made it our mission to spend the rest of our time together visiting all of our favorite places; favorite stores, favorite restaurants, favorite spots where we had created all those great memories, hoping to relive them one last time.

Each night, after we had crammed in every fun excursion we could think of, I would go home to work on my own big project—sorting through all my possessions, deciding what to pack to take with me. I stayed up into the early morning hours trying to get organized. I wasn’t getting much sleep, but sleep hardly seemed important when there was so little time left to fit everything in.

Wednesday morning I woke up feeling energized, which was strange because I only had gone to bed three hours before. It probably had something to do with the fact that this was the day of our High School graduation. At exactly eleven o’clock, Heather, myself, and all our friends would be standing in line wearing our caps and gowns, waiting for our turns to step up and receive our diplomas.

When the moment finally came, and I was standing at the front of that line, ready to officially accept the piece of paper that would declare this chapter in my life as over, I felt a bursting clash of bitter and sweet—so much to look forward to; so much to leave behind.

It was amazing to know that both my parents were out in the audience cheering for me. I never in a million years believed that my dad would be here for this moment in my life.

When the ceremony was over, everyone hung around with their families outside, wearing huge smiles for the cameras. Rayne snatched the camera from my mom and ushered us together for our own photo—me, my mom, and my dad—and with a huge grin I held up my diploma, realizing that this was the first picture we had ever taken together as a family.

It was an amazing day that had only just begun. Shortly after we finished at the school, everyone was planning to meet back at Heather’s house, parents included, to celebrate with a huge graduation party.

This time I drove alone with Rayne, but my parents pulled up right behind us. The four of us walked up to the front door together and I knocked on the door, expecting to see Heather or her mom to greet us. But when the door swung open I felt myself jump with a start.

“Surprise!” shouted a room full of people at once. I tried to catch my breath, a little confused, when I found a large banner hanging across the ceiling. Instead of
Congratulations, Graduates
, like I expected, the banner said,
Good Luck, Sadie and Leena, We’ll Miss You!

With wide eyes and touched hearts we entered the house, where we were greeted with friends and well-wishes. I couldn’t believe it. Heather and her parents had transformed our graduation party into a farewell surprise. I glanced around the room at all the familiar faces. Everyone was there, along with their parents—Nicole, Lindsey, Kelly, and Julie; Nick, Brandon, Trent, and Zach; Darrin and Tracy; Justin and Ariana; plus a bunch more friends from school… even some of our neighbors were there, and my teachers, and everyone that knew my mom who worked with her at the hospital.

It was like every person we had ever cared for was all in one place at the same time. It was more than I could ever ask for.

“Wow, I am truly speechless,” I said to Heather when we finally had a chance to talk. “You are completely amazing. How did you pull this off on such short notice? I mean, I was with you all week.”

Heather smirked. “What can I say… I have skills.” She shrugged. “And I guess I had some help from my parents.”

“Well, remind me to thank them because this is the best going away present
ever
.”

“Actually,” Heather replied, “I think I’m going to have to disagree with that statement.”

I looked at her funny. “Why do you say that?”

Heather grinned. “Because I have an even better present for you.” Her hand sprang from behind her back, revealing a small gift-wrapped box with a bow.

I took the package with delight and tore it open. When I saw the gift inside, I almost thought I would cry. It was a beautiful silver ring with the inscription,
Always Sisters, Forever Friends
, and our names engraved along the inside.

“I know I was never very good at the mushy stuff,” Heather said, “but I want you to know that you’ve always been like a sister to me.” Heather removed her other hand from behind her back and revealed a matching ring on her own finger.

“I love it,” I said. “I promise to wear it all the time.”

Heather smiled. “And you have to promise me that you’ll find a way to keep in touch, even if you
will
be traveling to crazy countries all over the world. I mean, even places out in the middle of nowhere have email these days, right?”

Even though I had no idea if I would ever be able to contact her again, I found the words rolling off my tongue as if there was no question in my mind. “I promise,” I told her. “I’ll get ahold of you as soon as I can.”