Amelia Peabody Omnibus 1-4 (141 page)

I find myself quite incapable of recording the rest of Ramses’ lecture. It was accompanied by a monotonous undercurrent of profanity from Donald Fraser, for which, I must say, I could hardly blame him. He performed well, particularly under those somewhat exasperating circumstances, and soon succeeded in enlarging the hole through which I had first seen the light of Ramses’ candle. As soon as it was big enough, Ramses’ face appeared in the opening, hideously shadowed by the candle he held. His thin face looked alarmingly like the mummy of his namesake, and he was still offering suggestions. ‘Mr Nemo – if you will permit me to continue the use of that pseudonym until I am formally introduced to you under your proper name – I strongly request that you do not remove anything to the left – your right, it would be – of the present gap. My appraisal of the situation–’

The speech ended in a squawk as Donald, driven beyond endurance, snatched his charge by the throat and dragged him through the opening. It was a chancey thing to do, but it had no ill effect except on the nether portion of Ramses’ anatomy, which, as I later discovered, was violently scored by the rough edges of the rocks as he passed rapidly under them.

‘Precede me, Ramses, if you please,’ I said coldly.

‘Yes, Mama. I would rather do that in any case, since I have the distinct impression, from the strength of Mr Nemo’s grip, that he is in a state of emotional excitation that makes me prefer to have some obstacle between myself and his–’

I gave Ramses a push. He said later that I had struck him, but that is not correct. I simply pushed him in order to hasten his progress. It certainly had that effect.

Our return to the house was effected in utter silence. When we arrived it was completely dark, and Hamid the cook informed us indignantly that dinner was burned to a crisp because we had not told him we would be late.

After the required repairs to our physical and sartorial deficiencies had been effected, and a distinctly inferior meal had been consumed, we gathered in the sitting room for a council of war.

Feeling that repairs to shattered nerves were also required, I offered whisky all round, except to Ramses, of course. He and the cat had milk and Enid chose a cup of tea. The genial beverage (I refer in this instance to the whisky) had the desired effect, though in Emerson’s case the improvement of his sprits was due in large part to the relief of recovering his son more or less unscarred, and to the fact that I was about to admit him to my confidence. As he put it, during a brief moment of privacy, while I was removing my (or Enid’s) dishevelled costume, ‘Much as I deplore your insane escapades, Peabody, I resent even more being excluded from them.’

Yet, as I explained once we had settled around the table in the sitting room, there was very little he did not know, now that the identities of the two young persons had been disclosed. He could not blame me for failing to inform him of Enid’s real name, since he claimed to have recognized her from the start.

Ramses, of course, also maintained he had penetrated Enid’s disguise. ‘The bone structure is unmistakable. A student of physiognomy is never misled by superficial changes in appearance such as are wrought by clothing, ornaments or cosmetics. Which reminds me, Miss Debenham, that at some future time I would like to discuss with you the devices ladies employ in order to change their natural appearance – for the better, as they no doubt assume, or they would not resort to such things. The colouring of the lips and cheeks reminds me of the Amazulu people, who often paint broad stripes–’

We stifled Ramses, figuratively speaking – though Donald looked as if he would like to have done so literally. He had already informed me that he was beginning to understand my warnings concerning Ramses. ‘The boy doesn’t need a bodyguard, Mrs Emerson, he needs a guardian angel – or possibly a squad of them.’

The young man was wearing his new shirt and trousers, and for the first time resembled the English gentleman I knew him to be. He sat with eyes downcast and lips pressed tightly together. Enid was also silent. The concerted effort both made to avoid touching or looking at one another was in my opinion highly significant.

Emerson was the first to break the silence. ‘It seems that whether I will or not, I have become involved in the little matter of Kalenischeff’s murder. Let me say at the outset that I cannot help but believe there is some connection between that event and the domestic matters Mr Fraser has outlined. It is too much of a coincidence that a third party should have decided to do away with the villain – much as he deserved it – at the precise time when Miss Debenham had hired him to help find her missing kinsman.’

‘Coincidences do occur, Emerson,’ I said. ‘I know you would rather eliminate from consideration that individual whose name I refrain from mentioning–’

‘Oh, the devil,’ Emerson growled. ‘You cannot mention his name, Amelia, for you don’t know what it is. Call him whatever you like, so long as it is pejorative.’

‘Whatever we call him, it would be folly to deny that he is involved. He has favoured us with communications on no fewer than four occasions. First, the attempted abduction of Ramses; second, the return of the stolen communion vessels; third, the presentation of the flowers and the ring; and last, today’s attack. Only a mind hopelessly and irrevocably prejudiced’ – I carefully refrained from looking at Emerson, but I heard him snarl– ‘would deny that all four events bear the signature of Sethos.’

‘I beg your pardon, Mama,’ Ramses said. ‘I concur with your conclusions regarding the last three incidents, but in the first case–’

‘Who else would want to abduct you, Ramses?’

‘A great number of people, I should think,’ said Emerson. ‘Ordinarily I would agree with your premise, Peabody – that there cannot be many individuals in Egypt who yearn to make off with Ramses – but as I have learned to my sorrow, we seem to attract criminals as a dog attracts fleas. I should feel hurt if we had fewer than five or six murderers after us.’

‘He is speaking ironically,’ I explained to Donald, whose bewildered expression betokened his failure to comprehend. ‘However, there is some truth in his statement. We do attract criminals, for the simple reason that we threaten to destroy them and their vile activities.’

‘Yes, but curse it, we aren’t threatening anyone now,’ Emerson cried. ‘At least … Ramses! Look Papa straight in the eye and answer truthfully. Are you threatening any criminals at this time?’

‘To the best of my knowledge, Papa–’

‘Just answer yes or no, my son.’

‘No, Papa.’

‘Have you unearthed any buried treasures or antiquities you neglected to mention to your mama and me?’

‘No, Papa. If you would allow me–’

‘No, Ramses, I will not allow you to elaborate. For once in my life I intend to direct the course of a family discussion and decide upon a sensible course of action.

‘To return, then, to the subject of the murder. I find it difficult to believe that the police really consider Miss Debenham a serious suspect. If she were to surrender herself–’

Donald started up from his chair. ‘Never!’ he exclaimed. ‘Even if she were to be cleared of the crime, the shame – the notoriety –’

‘Be still a moment,’ I said. ‘Emerson, I think you underestimate the strength of the case against her. Let me play devil’s advocate and state the facts as they will appear to the police. Item: Miss Debenham and Kalenischeff were intimately acquainted – lovers, to put it bluntly. (Donald, I insist that you be quiet.) They quarrelled on the night of the murder. He was found dead in her bed, and she was with him in the room when the dastardly deed was done. Alone with him, mark you, and in her nightclothes. Her story of a midnight intruder who rendered her helpless by means of a drug will be dismissed as not a very clever invention. You may be sure no one else saw a sign of the fellow.’

‘Kalenischeff’s shady reputation – his criminal connections–’ Emerson began.

‘His criminal connections are no more than suspicions in so far as the police are concerned. As for his reputation – don’t you see, Emerson, that might work against Miss Debenham? To put it as nicely as possible, Kalenischeff was a ladies’ man. Is not jealousy a motive for murder?’

Emerson looked grave. ‘Is there no other suspect?’

‘Er – yes,’ I said. ‘As a matter of fact, there are two.’

Emerson brightened. ‘Who?’

‘Both,’ I said, ‘are in this room.’

Emerson’s eyes moved, quite involuntarily, I am sure, to Ramses.

‘Oh, come, Emerson,’ I said impatiently. ‘If a woman could not strike such a blow, how could an eight-year-old boy? No! Who is the man with thews of steel and a formidable temper, who has been heard on numerous occasions to describe Kalenischeff as a villain and a rascal and has stated that his very presence was an affront to any decent woman?’

A modest smile spread across Emerson’s face. ‘Me,’ he said.

‘Grammar, Emerson, if you please. But you are correct. You are the person I meant.’

‘On my word, Peabody, that is cursed ingenious,’ Emerson exclaimed. ‘If I didn’t know I hadn’t done it, I would suspect myself. Well, but who is the other suspect?’

‘She is referring to me, Professor,’ said Donald, carefully avoiding the grammatical error Emerson had committed. ‘I was at the hotel that night. You had told me to meet you there–’

‘But you didn’t,’ Emerson said.

‘No. I – I was in a strange state of mind. Appreciating your trust and yet resenting your interference … I wandered half the night trying to decide what to do.’

‘I believe I can understand, Mr Fraser. But the fact that you were in the motley crowd outside the hotel doesn’t make you a suspect. You were there other evenings, you and dozens of other nondescript Egyptians. I assume you did not enter the hotel?’

‘How could I?’ Donald asked with a wry smile. ‘A ragged beggar like myself would not be admitted to those precincts.

‘Then I fail to see how you can fall under suspicion.’

Ramses had been trying for some time to get a word in. ‘Papa – were Mr Fraser’s true identity known –’

‘Just what I was about to say,’ I remarked, frowning at Ramses. ‘Mr Donald Fraser might have a motive for killing Kalenischeff that a ragged beggar would not. Furthermore, I know for a fact that he is suspected.’

‘Who told you?’ Emerson demanded. ‘Baehler?’

‘No, it was–’

‘You went to police headquarters the day you were in Cairo,’ Emerson said accusingly. ‘You misled me, Amelia. You promised–’

‘I made no promise, Emerson. And in fact the police were of little assistance. I cannot think why our friend Sir Eldon has such incompetent people as his aides. Major Ramsay is a perfect fool, and he has no manners besides. The person I was about to mention is a well-known private investigator. I started to tell you about him last night before you – before we–’

‘Please continue with your narrative, Amelia,’ said Emerson, glowering.

‘Certainly, Emerson. I only mentioned the – er – interruption because I don’t want you to accuse me of concealing information from you.’

‘Your explanation is noted and accepted, Peabody.’

‘Thank you, Emerson. As I was saying, I happened to meet this gentleman outside the Administration Building. He recognized me and addressed me – most courteously, I might add – and it was he who informed me that a certain beggar in a saffron turban was under suspicion. His name is Tobias Gregson. He has solved such well-known cases as the Camberwell poisoning–’

I was not allowed to proceed. Every member of the group – with the exception of the cat Bastet, who only blinked her wide golden eyes – jumped up and attempted to speak. Enid cried, ‘Ronald is behind this? How could he …’ Donald declared his intention of turning himself in at once. Emerson made incoherent remarks about the moral turpitude of private detectives and told me I ought to know better than to speak to strange men. Ramses kept exclaiming, ‘But, Mama – but, Mama – Gregson is – Gregson is –’ like a parrot that has been taught only a few phrases.

By speaking all at once, each defeated his (or her) purpose, and as the hubbub died, I seized the opportunity to go on. ‘Never mind Mr Gregson; we won’t speak of him since he has aroused such a storm. It is out of the question for Donald and Enid to give themselves up. Donald’s case is as desperate as Enid’s – indeed, it may be worse, for I am sure the authorities would prefer to arrest a man rather than a young lady. No; we must sit pat, as one of my American friends once said – in regard, I believe, to some sort of card game. Our game is a dangerous one, and we must hold our cards close to our persons. I have made one attempt to lure Sethos out of hiding; I propose to continue that method tomorrow–’

Another outcry silenced me, punctuated, like the monotonous tolling of a bell, by Ramses’ reiterated ‘But Mama.’ Emerson won over the rest this time, by sheer volume.

‘Rather than allow you to repeat that imbecile and hazardous experiment, Amelia, I will bind you hand and foot. Why must you take these things on yourself? Can’t you leave it to me to smoke out the villain?’

‘I cannot because I am the only one who can pass for Enid. Or do you propose to assume women’s clothing and walk with her dainty, tripping steps?’

The very idea outraged Emerson so thoroughly that he was momentarily mute. It was Enid who said timidly, ‘But, Amelia – are you absolutely certain it was I the man wanted? Perhaps you were the intended victim all along.’

‘By Gad,’ Emerson exclaimed. ‘Out of the mouths of babes and … Hem. Excuse me, Miss Debenham. Precisely the point I would have made had I been permitted to speak without these constant interruptions.’

‘Nonsense,’ I said. ‘My disguise was perfect. Donald here was deceived–’

‘I was not,’ Ramses said quickly. ‘I knew it was you. Mama, there is something I must–’

‘There, you see,’ Emerson exclaimed triumphantly.

‘The eyes of true love cannot be deceived,’ Enid said. Donald glanced at her and glanced quickly away.

Emerson’s lips tightened. ‘That,’ he said, ‘is what I am afraid of.’

Emerson refused to explain this enigmatic remark; nor, in fact, did any of us ask him to explain, for we had more important matters to resolve. We finally decided to wait upon events for another day or two, in the hope that something would turn up. I should say, ‘Emerson decided,’ for I was opposed to the idea. He promised me, however, that if nothing happened in the next two days, we would go together to Cairo in an effort to obtain information.