American Babe (22 page)

(LOL. I let him keep this in here because he begged me to. Knox says it's his best recipe. I tried it. Just a bite. It was the best thing I've ever tasted so I had to let it slide. Enjoy/Sorry!)

INGREDIENTS

¹
/
₂
Loaf Pain de Mie, or Brioche, cubed

2 Cups Whole Milk

3 Whole Eggs, beaten

2 Oranges

¹
/
₃
Cup Sugar

2 T Butter

1 Pinch Kosher Salt

INSTRUCTIONS

Preheat oven to 350 degrees F.

Zest the two oranges, and reserve the oranges for other use.

Bring milk, butter, sugar, zest, and salt to a simmer in large-capacity pot. Simmer just until sugar dissolves. Whisk in the eggs and pour mixture over bread in large bowl. Let soak for a few hours. Transfer mixture to greased baking dish. Bake in oven for 25–30 minutes. Remove when the mixture has risen and is no longer wobbly. Serve with vanilla ice cream.

I
used to hate saying thanks for anything. I thought it made me look needy. But I've learned to own my neediness. It's part of me. It's my thing. I am an extremely needy person and that's just what it is. So, I NEED to thank a few people without whom this book would not have been possible and also my life would fucking suck.

Ninety-nine percent of the people I meet are literal garbage, but there a few that I truly do love, besides myself: Tanner Cohen and David Oliver Cohen, you guys complete me. Like actually, how would I have written this book without you? Thank you, thank you, thank you! Knox, thanks
for doing you and inspiring me to do me, and Cara, thanks for letting me burn your Snuggie. I also legit owe so much to Vee for dealing with the shenanigans and accepting that I just might be a better mother figure to Knox than you are—just kidding. I even want to thank Donna, but not for anything she did, more for everything she never did; it shaped me into the eternally blossoming lotus that I am. Thanks, Dad, you are my Queen forever, and Lizbeth, I have to say I've really learned to love your bullshit antics and posi-vibes. It's weird. Thanks to Scott and all the other guys I've fucked lately; it's been a really nice, long stretch of good sex, so thank you, seriously. Thanks to my hot agent, Byrd, for being the first person who believed in me as an author besides my own dad, who doesn't count as a person really, and to my editor, Kate Dresser, you are a true ride-or-die psycho for me and I love you for that. To Jen Bergstrom and Louise Burke and entire team at Gallery, I fuck with you so hard.

Additionally I want to thank Gen Larson, Roman, Mabinty Jones, Cristi Andrews Cohen, Hal Winter, Penelope Ziggy, Jessica Lindsey, Luce Amelia, Marcia and Stewart Cohen, Liz and Frank Newman, Jake Brodsky, Beige, Audrey Adams, Cow, Sam Wilkes, Alex Ferzan, Josh Ostrovsky, Steph Krasnoff, Olivia Wolfe, George Clinton and
P-Funk, the entire cast of Nickelodeon's
Taina
, Tom Cruise, Penelope Cruz, Hazel Judd, Monica Vinny, the Rosé boys, the #1 donkey in the life, Gordon Ramsay, Taylor Bell, Jason Richman, Howie Sanders, Scott Waxman, and Meryl Streep.

ORDER YOUR COPY TODAY!

Babe Walker
is a
New York Times
bestselling author and blogger who lives (and very occasionally works) in Los Angeles. You can find her on Twitter
@whitegrlproblem
, Instagram
@babewalker
, and Facebook at
facebook.com/thebabewalker
. She also co-owns White Girl Rosé with The Fat Jew.

FOR MORE ON THIS AUTHOR:
authors.simonandschuster.com/Babe-Walker

MEET THE AUTHORS, WATCH VIDEOS AND MORE AT

SimonandSchuster.com

Facebook.com/GalleryBooks
@GalleryBooks

ALSO BY BABE WALKER

Psychos: A White Girl Problems Book

White Girl Problems

Gallery Books

An Imprint of Simon & Schuster, Inc.

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New York, NY 10020

www.SimonandSchuster.com

This book is a work of fiction. Any references to historical events, real people, or real places are used fictitiously. Other names, characters, places, and events are products of the author's imagination, and any resemblance to actual events or places or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental.

Copyright © 2016 by David Oliver Cohen and Tanner Cohen

All rights reserved, including the right to reproduce this book or portions thereof in any form whatsoever. For information, address Gallery Books Subsidiary Rights Department, 1230 Avenue of the Americas, New York, NY 10020.

First Gallery Books trade paperback edition June 2016

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Interior design by Jaime Putorti

Cover design by Eileen Carey Design

Cover image © plainpicture/C&P

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

Names: Walker, Babe, author.

Title: American babe : a White girl problems book / Babe Walker.

Description: First Gallery Books trade paperback edition. | New York :

Gallery Books, 2016. | Series: White girl problems ; 3

Identifiers: LCCN 2016006073 | ISBN 9781501124846 (softcover : acid-free paper)

Subjects: LCSH: Socialites—Fiction. | Women, White—Fiction. | Self-realization in women—Fiction. | Self-actualization (Psychology) in women—Fiction. | BISAC: FICTION / Humorous. | FICTION / Biographical. | FICTION / Satire. | GSAFD: Humorous fiction. | Satire.

Classification: LCC PS3623.A3588 A84 2016 | DDC 813/.6—dc23 LC record available at
http://lccn.loc.gov/2016006073

ISBN 978-1-5011-2484-6

ISBN 978-1-5011-2486-0 (ebook)