America's Galactic Foreign Legion - Book 2: Reenlistment (7 page)

“The prisoners had grenades, mortars,
anti-tank weapons, and machine guns,” I answered. “They almost
overran our positions. We had no choice but to call in the big
guns.”

“The war has been over for quite some time,
yet half the prisoners were still just plain Arthropodan soldiers
waiting to be repatriated,” said Coen. “Why would these spiders be
so desperate as to riot?”

“I don’t know,” I said. “Captain Norris, the
prison warden, would be more familiar with the prison living
conditions, but he was murdered at the beginning of the
battle.”

“How do you think this many spider deaths
will affect future U.S.G.F. relations with Arthropoda?” asked Coen.
“Aren’t relations already strained?”

“Whatever,” I said. “Hopefully the spiders
have learned that another cowardly surprise attack will be dealt
with harshly by the Legion.”

“Sources say the riot started when Captain
Norris pistol-whipped a new spider detainee in front of the whole
prison population,” said Coen. “Is that true?”

“I don’t know. I wasn’t there. But, I doubt
it. The riot was not caused by Captain Norris. It was caused by
rioters.”

“How can you explain that no prisoners
survived?” asked Coen.

“At the end, we drove the spiders into the
tunnels underground the fort,” I explained. “They all died when we
flooded the underground.”

“Did you try to negotiate with the
prisoners?” asked Coen. “Was there any attempt to establish a line
of communications with the prisoners? Isn’t that procedure in all
prison riot situations?”

“The minute I drove my armored car through
the prison gates, the car was destroyed by an anti-tank rocket.
There was no time for negotiations. I was pinned down against that
wall over there by machine gun fire and mortars.”

“No time?” asked Coen. “Isn’t it true you had
time to order and eat five hundred pizzas from Pizza Hut?”

“Lieutenant Lopez offered the spiders pizza
if they would surrender, but none would come out of their holes,” I
explained.

“So, one of your junior officers did try to
negotiate with the prisoners?” asked Coen. He looked around and
recognized Lieutenant Lopez walking by. “Lieutenant Lopez, do you
have any comments about what happened here today?”

“No habla English,” replied Lieutenant Lopez.
“Go fuck yourself.”

* * * * *

Private George Rambo Washington, the first
spider legionnaire, drove our only remaining armored car back to
Disneyland. It was a treat for Private Washington because he had
never driven a human vehicle before. I doubt he could get a
civilian driver’s license. His driving was scary. Even scarier were
his thoughts. I could read his mind with the chip Guido had sold
me. Private Washington kept thinking about running other drivers
off the road. He obviously suffered from road rage.

As much of the company as possible was piled
into the back the armored car. I rode up front. As we entered the
outskirts of Disneyland, Private Tonelli began yelling about a
house we had passed. He said it was one of the safe houses that he
had been held in. We circled around the block. I noticed a video
camera mounted on the roof above the front porch. I ordered Private
Washington to drive through the front wall at fifty miles per hour
and warned everyone in the back to hang on. A spider guard in the
front room was killed instantly by the crash impact.

Sergeant Green led legionnaires in a
room-by-room search of the house. In a bedroom we found a spider
that Guido’s dragon had killed. Guido also showed us the entrance
to the tunnel in the living room. We dropped a few grenades down
the tunnel and radioed in for the engineers to destroy the place
later. Private Washington stepped out onto the back porch to check
the yard. He noticed what looked like another trap door. A rug only
partially concealed another spider hole. Perhaps the occupant had
closed the door so fast, he was not able to get the rug completely
over the door. Private Washington pulled the rug away and threw
open the trap door, revealing a spider hole.

A lone occupant called out, “Don’t shoot. I
will throw out my pistol. I am the Lion of the Forest. I surrender.
You will be quite a hero for capturing someone as important as me.
You will be promoted. I can give you information about the
insurgency. I order you to take me to Czerinski.”

Private Washington pulled the pin on a
grenade and tossed it into the hole. The explosion made a mess of
the Lion of the Forest, but his remains were later positively
identified from DNA.

<>
<chapter>>
<>
<>

CHAPTER 6

General Kalipetsis came to Disneyland to talk
to me in private. He had the room scanned for listening devices
before dismissing his aides-de-camp and ordering Lieutenant Lopez
to leave.

“I got an interesting E-mail,” started
General Kalipetsis. “It is from the Lion of the Forest.”

“The Lion is dead,” I commented. “He died
heroically.”

“I know, but I will read the E-mail to you
anyway,” said General Kalipetsis. “Dear General Kalipetsis: If you
are reading this message I am dead and my cause is lost.
Congratulations. My Emperor abandoned me and the Legion defeated
me. I am not bitter. What galls me is the thought of Czerinski
gloating over my corpse. So, I am reaching out from the grave to
snatch the big prize from Czerinski. As you know, Czerinski stole a
prototype Formicidaen starship from our joint custody. Later
Czerinski claimed the starship was destroyed during the Formicidaen
War. He lied. The starship is buried in a cavern far below the
ruins of Czerinski’s burned-out casino on the DMZ. I hope the
scoundrel goes to prison. My time is gone. Bury me upside down so
Czerinski can kiss my ass.”

“That is quite an E-mail,” I said. “The Lion
of the Woods is a very vindictive spider.”

“Initial seismic tests indicate there is a
cavern deep below your old casino,” said General Kalipetsis.
“Before I go to all the trouble of secretly excavating under your
property, you need to tell me the truth. Did you hide that starship
under your casino?”

“Yes,” I admitted. “But I stole the starship
to deny it from the spiders. History proved I was right that the
spiders cannot be trusted. I am vindicated.”

“Maybe,” said General Kalipetsis. “But you
also stole the starship from the United States. We could have used
that starship in the last war. And you kept the starship for
personal gain.”

“You are thinking about arresting and
charging me?” I asked. “You will not dare do that. The stealth
technologies in that prototype starship are invaluable. Its secret
possession will give the United States Galactic Federation a
distinct strategic advantage over our alien neighbors. If you
charge me and put me on trial, the secret will be out.”

“I may try you in secret and throw you out an
airlock,” said General Kalipetsis. “Treason is a serious
matter.”

“I used that starship to destroy the
Formicidaen Empire,” I argued. “I even was awarded a medal for my
initiative.”

“Okay, you have made some good points,” said
General Kalipetsis as he stood up. “I came here to resolve this
matter, not to arrest you.”

“This conversation is not over,” I said. “Sit
down. I have business partners to settle up with. I want to be
compensated for giving the Shenandoah to you.”

“You aren’t giving it to me,” said General
Kalipetsis. “The United States is taking rightful possession of the
Shenandoah.”

“By treaty, you are required to share the
Shenandoah and its secrets with Arthropoda,” I said. “I am giving
you exclusive possession by not telling the spiders about the
starship.”

“After this last little war, we have a new
treaty with the spiders,” said General Kalipetsis. “And it says we
get all of New Colorado and everything on it.”

“You are splitting hairs,” I said.

“And you are attempting to blackmail the
United States into paying for your silence,” said General
Kalipetsis. “Your government appreciates your sacrifices, but
extortion will not be tolerated. Neither will treason.”

“My seizure of the Shenandoah was eventually
sanctioned by the United States. That means the Shenandoah is a
prize ship. I am entitled to a percentage of its worth. Old Earth
human history is rich with precedent to support my position.”

“Human history yes,” said General Kalipetsis.
“United States history I am not so sure about.”

“Also, under established Admiralty Law I am
entitled to salvage rights because the Shenandoah was lost, and I
helped you find it,” I argued.

“It was stolen, not lost. I am not a lawyer.
Obviously you have had more time to ponder these issues than I
have,” said General Kalipetsis. “However, being a legionnaire, you
are not entitled to anything you salvage without a special
agreement. You work for me.”

“I was a civilian between enlistments.
Remember? I kept the Shenandoah safe from the spiders during that
time.”

“It does not matter. I am not authorized to
pay you anything. And I am certainly not asking Congress to write
you a check.”

“Why not?” I asked. “Congress has plenty of
money. How about this? We will submit the issue of compensation to
an independent arbitrator.”

Agreed,” said General Kalipetsis quickly. “In
the meantime, I am transferring you and your company to the most
remote part of New Colorado I can find. This will keep the press
away from you. I want you out of the public’s eye until the
diplomats can smooth things over with Arthropoda. Hopefully the
Disneyland prison massacre will be forgotten in a few months.”

“I think I have too many enemies for you to
just hide me in some far-off corner of New Colorado,” I commented.
“Why did I have to join the Legion? I should have been a serious
person and got a real job.”

“Don’t worry about it,” said General
Kalipetsis. “Having enemies only means you have stood up for
something sometime in your life. It shows you have character.”

* * * * *

“My orders are to take a squad to the North
and scout our new home, Finisterra,” I announced. “Lieutenant
Lopez, what does Finisterra mean?”

“Finisterra means End of the World,” advised
Lopez. “It also can mean Land’s End.”

“Finisterra is about a thousand miles to the
north. Engineers will be building a bridge across the New
Mississippi River,” I said. “Our Company’s job will be to secure
the area and keep the engineers safe from insurgents. This place is
really in the middle of nowhere. Load up the armored car with extra
food and gas cans. We are going on a road trip. Any questions?”

“Can I drive?” asked Private Washington.

“Yes,” I said. “But God save us. One more
thing. We are stopping by a liquor store on the way out of
town.”

“Outstanding,” said Sergeant Green. “Finally,
we catch a break.”

Newly promoted Corporals Kool, Tonelli, and
Ceausescu, and Privates Williams and Nesbit rode in the back with
Sergeant Green. Lieutenant Lopez manned the mounted machine gun and
cannon. I road shotgun with Private Washington. Spot rode on the
roof because he stunk and because everyone was afraid to be near
him. We bought Vodka and beer and started drinking immediately.

“Beer is living proof God loves us and wants
us to be happy,” said Private Williams. He let out a rebel
yell.

“I like vodka too much,” said Private
Washington. “That is why I never use it.”

“You are a smart spider,” I said, as I poured
vodka into my beer. “Especially since you are driving.”

“Beer is the best damn drink in the world,”
said Corporal Kool.

“I see spider hitchhikers up ahead,” said
Lieutenant Lopez. “Do you want to pick them up?”

“Oh hell no,” said Sergeant Green. “Run them
over.”

“They are young females,” said Private
Washington, as he pulled over to stop. “We have room. They should
not be hitchhiking at night. There are too many unsavory types out
and about.”

“Hello human pestilence,” said the first
spider to get into the armored car. She sat between me and Private
Washington. “My name is Pam. These are my slutty sisters Sam, Bam,
Jan, and Fran. Can you take us to the edge of town?”

“Spider babes?” commented Private Williams,
giving another rebel yell. “Want some beer and vodka?”

“Why are you going to the edge of town?” I
asked, as I passed beer and vodka to Pam and her sisters.

“We are going to the drive-in theater,” said
Pam.

“What is playing?” asked Corporal
Ceausescu.

“It is a brand new horror film called
Massacre at Habitat #40,” said Pam. “It is supposed to be so scary
it was almost rated X. Want to come with us?”

“In an armored car?” I asked.

“I think your car is awesome,” said Pam.
“There is so much room.”

“Hell yes,” said Lieutenant Lopez, leaning on
his machine gun. “Let’s go to a movie.”

Everyone let out a cheer as Private
Washington swerved hard to the right and entered the drive-in
theater. We had to park way in the back because of the high profile
of the armored car.

“I did not know our kind were allowed in the
Foreign Legion,” said Pam, as she put her hand on Private
Washington’s Legion shoulder patch. “You look very handsome in that
uniform.”

“I am not one of your kind,” corrected
Private Washington. “I am green. You are black.”

“Once you have gone black, you will never go
back,” Pam said with a giggle as she pawed at Private Washington’s
buttons. “Fran! Lets rape this big green cutie!”

“I would love to,” replied Fran as she jumped
up front and attacked Private Washington.

The commotion shoved me out the passenger’s
side door. I fell face-first in the dirt. I could no longer walk
because I was drunk, so I crawled to the next car. It contained a
family of spiders. I gripped the car and pulled myself up to a
standing position. The driver was very upset. “You human pestilence
are a disgrace,” said the driver. “You are degenerates with no
morals.”