Amish Circle Letters (10 page)

Katie sat up straight and stared at him. Her face seemed to lose its color as she waited for his proclamation. It was the moment she had been waiting for, quietly in the shadows. She had been too afraid to ask, for fear of angering her daed at her impatience. When no one had mentioned it for almost a week, she had all but given up on any hope of riding those ponies.

“We think we will let you go over to Gideon Riehl’s with Eleanor Haile,” he said slowly. She gasped out loud and the other
kinner
began to clamor about, their eyes bright and sparkling. Before there was too much commotion, Isaac silenced them by holding up his hand. “Wait, Katie, there’s more.”

Quiet fell over the table.

“If you learn how to ride that pony and care for it under Eleanor’s instruction,” he said then paused, sneaking a glance at Anna before he continued. “We’ll let you bring that pony to the farm.”

“Here?” she squeaked.

“Ja, here,” Anna added softly.

Isaac held up his hand again when he saw that Katie was about to leap from her seat and hug her mamm. “But only if you pass muster with Eleanor. You know naught about pony care and I don’t have time to tend its needs. I need to know that you can care for it without my time being taken over.”

“Oh Daed!” she gushed. “I won’t bother you one bit.”

He made a face, glancing at Anna again and trying to hide his pleasure with his daughter’s excitement. “We’ll just see about that now, won’t we?”, but as she leapt from her bench and threw her arms around his neck, even Anna noticed the hint of tears at the corner of his eyes. It was a rare moment when a parent could do something as special as what Isaac had just agreed to do for Katie. She was pleased that her daughter appreciated it and prayed that Katie would rise to the occasion in tending the pony’s needs.

“Enough talk about ponies,” Anna said with a smile. She didn’t want the other
kinner
thinking that Katie was getting special treatment or being singled out. “I have a surprise for dessert today! I made apple crunch.” The younger children clapped their hands in delight and even Isaac looked up, beaming. “But no one gets any pie until those plates are cleaned off of your dinner,” she added, smiling back at her family.

Mary Ruth counted to ten for the third time in less than thirty minutes. She had her back to the room and her hands were on the counter, pressing hard against the cool linoleum top. Her eyes were scrunched shut and she tried to calm her heart when, in truth, she wished she could turn around and give that Menno Yoder the what-for that was begging to jump from her lips.

“Don’t want you here! I done told you that every day that you been here!” He was shouting at her, pushing the kitchen chairs aside and knocking plates to the floor. The noise was loud and Mary Ruth had to fight extra hard to not jump. She had never before seen anyone rage like that.

The
kinner
were standing in the mudroom, clinging to each other as they watched their daed rant and rave as he had every day for the past two weeks. This time, however, he was throwing things and shouting louder than ever.

“You keep moving things around! Those pans!” He pointed at the wall where the pots and pans hung, moving closer to them. He knocked one off the wall and it clattered to the ground. “Martha don’t keep them up there like that!” He hurried over to a drawer and yanked it open. “And this? What’s this?”

Mary Ruth glanced over her shoulder, her eyes narrow and cool. “That is called a drawer.”

He glared at her. “Don’t sass me! I know it’s a drawer. But what did you do with it?”

Mary Ruth exhaled sharply. He was trying her patience, that was for sure and certain. “I organized it. It was a jumble of things and there was no way to find anything.”

“That’s not the way she left it!” he shouted, his voice booming through the house.

“No,” she said slowly, turning around. She put her hands on his hips as she faced him. “No Menno, it’s not how Martha left it. But Martha is no longer here and you have to start accepting the help of the community, the people who care about you.”

He stopped in mid-step and glared at her. “I don’t want their help and don’t want them caring about me.”

Reaching for the dishtowel, she dried her hand on it. She was acting calmer than she felt. She wasn’t certain where that strength was coming from, truth be told. His behavior scared her. “Well, you keep behaving this way and that will be sure and certain to happen!” Her words came out sharper than she intended but she masked her own surprise.

For a moment, she saw a glimmer. She wasn’t certain what it meant but she saw him pause and take a deep breath.

“Look Menno,” Mary Ruth said, trying to soften her tone. “You have four
kinner
that need you and your tirades against me sure aren’t helping them.” She glanced at them and, for the briefest moment, her eyes caught Melvin’s. Her heart swelled at the sight of him.
My special project,
she thought.

“I didn’t invite you,” he stated firmly but without the previous anger in his tone.

“No,” she agreed. “No, you surely didn’t. And you have make it quite clear how much I am welcomed here.”

“Then go!”

She shook her head, forcing herself to show a strength that she didn’t necessarily feel. “And face the wrath of my sister, Rachel?
Danke,
but no,” she said. “Besides, your children need me. Who will feed them? Who will clean up this kitchen? Wash their clothing?” She saw him tense and tried to calm him down by lowering her voice. “Your
g’may
cares about you and your
kinner
, Menno Yoder. Let us help you.” She paused before she added, “Don’t you think it’s what Martha would have wanted? If not for you, then for her
kinner
?”

There was a long pause. Neither Menno nor Mary Ruth spoke. She stared at him, wondering if she had pushed him just too far this time. His face seemed to tense up and the color drained from it. She saw him clench his jaw as he pressed his lips together, tight and angry. But he said nothing.

For the past two weeks, she had been fulfilling her duty and walking to the Yoder farm every day in order to get the children fed, the house cleaned, the laundry washed, and the kitchen organized. Each day, she had been confronted with angry glares from Menno who, on most mornings, stormed out of the house and never returned. That had been fine with Mary Ruth. The children had begun to open up to her and, despite her own reluctance to allow them close to her heart, she found herself becoming fond of them in a way she had never known possible.

The two older girls were clingy, afraid to let Mary Ruth out of their sight while the younger girl was more of the shy sort. She would watch her from a distance, a thumb stuck into her mouth. Mary Ruth ignored her curious gaze and silence by continuing to include her in the discussion, even if she didn’t reply. But it was Melvin who caused her the most angst. He often disappeared and, when Mary Ruth would look for him, she’d find him sitting somewhere alone, staring at the wall. He showed little to no interest in anything but he was never disrespectful. Mary Ruth would reach for his hand and help him to his feet, leading him back into the kitchen and assigning him a task to keep him busy and within her eyesight.

The previous evening, his behavior bothered her so much that Mary Ruth wandered over to Rachel’s to ask for advice. To her surprise, Elijah was downstairs, sleeping in a chair. Placing  a finger on her lips, Rachel motioned that they should move into the other room so as not to disturb him.

“He’s still fighting that cold,” Rachel explained in a hushed whisper. “I thought he was over it but it came back.” She wore a concerned look on her face. “I want him to sleep as much as he can. That cough just keeps him up all night.”

“I’m sorry to hear that,” Mary Ruth said and she meant it. The past two weeks had provided Mary Ruth with a new perspective on life and relationships. “I won’t stay long, sister, but I need your advice about Melvin Yoder. He’s still so reclusive and sad.”

Rachel frowned. “Of course he is! He lost his mamm!”

“I understand that,” Mary Ruth quickly replied. “But I don’t know what to do to help him.” When she heard Elijah cough, she lowered her voice. “Given that you volunteered me to help them through this rough patch, mayhaps you can guide me a bit, ja?”

Her eldest sister sighed and shook her head. Clearly this was new territory for her, too. “I just don’t know, Mary Ruth. Being there, being consistent, and being kind but firm…that’s what children need,” she offered. “Keep doing what you are doing and try to get that Menno to see past his grief.” They both heard Elijah cough again. This time, he had gotten up from his chair and shuffled up the stairs. “I need to go check on him. Get him some tea to soothe his throat and help him sleep,” Rachel said. “I’ll pray on your situation, Mary Ruth.”

Now, as Mary Ruth stood in the kitchen, facing Menno Yoder, she wondered if he would ever get past his grief so that she could return home.

“I’m making a nice dinner today for your
kinner
,” Mary Ruth said, breaking the silence. “Mayhaps it would be nice if you joined them. It has been three weeks, Menno, and I know that seems fresh in your mind. But your mourning the dead doesn’t help those who are living.” She held his angry gaze as she gently added, “They need you.”

Without a word, he turned around and stormed out of the kitchen. When the door slammed shut, the
kinner
stared at her, their eyes wide and frightened. Mary Ruth leaned against the counter and tried to still her pounding heart. She was angry. Angry at Rachel for having volunteered her for this horrible task. Angry at Menno for ignoring those children. And angry with herself for not being stronger in standing up to him.

Shutting her eyes, she repeated her favorite Proverbs verse for when she was upset:
Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not onto thy own understanding - in all the ways acknowledge Him and He will direct your paths
.
[2]
A wave of guilt fled through her as she realized that, by being angry, she was doubting the Lord and His infinite wisdom. After all, she reminded herself, He is our Father and He cares for His children. If only she knew what path He was directing her toward.

“Let’s get to our chores, shall we?” she said, breaking the silence and forcing a smile.

Anna looked up when Steve walked into the kitchen. He wasn’t wearing his typical work clothes. Rather, he had on a clean shirt and pants. She noticed that he even wore his nice boots, not the ones that he typically wore in the barnyard.

“Heading out. Isaac said you have some plates to take over to Rachel and Leah?”

Anna peered at him, studying his face for a quick moment. There was something about him, a glow. “Ja, I heard you were riding over that direction.” She paused. She wasn’t certain how much she could push her brother-in-law. “Borrowing the buggy again, ain’t so?”

He mumbled something under his breath.

“I didn’t hear you,” she said.

“Ja, the buggy. Nice weather for a ride. Need some time to think, I reckon,” he said.

“Um hum,” Anna commented, a hand on her hip. “Something is up with you, Steve Fisher !”

“The apple crunch pie? Where is it?”

“You are avoiding the question.”

“You didn’t ask no question,” he scoffed. Clearly, he didn’t want to talk. “If you want me delivering them, you best hurry along, sister.”

Hiding a smile, Anna hurried into the back room where she had put the apple crunch pies into large plastic containers for protection on the journey. She glanced through the open door at Steve, watching as he drummed his fingers on the counter and tapped his foot. He was impatient and anxious. Something is up with him, indeed, she told herself.

“Don’t forget to return the containers, Steve,” Anna said as she started to hand them over to him. “Will be needing them for church Sunday at Leah’s.”

“Ja, ja,” he said gruffly.

“You sure do look nice for just taking a buggy ride to think,” Anna added, watching his face for a reaction. It was true. He was dressed in clean black pants and a fresh white shirt. Normally, Steve wore his regular work clothes all day and saved the good clothing for church Sunday. She couldn’t remember the last time he had changed during the week.

Steve frowned at her, took the containers, and walked out of the kitchen without another word. She turned to watch him from the kitchen window but he disappeared quickly around the side of the barn. A few minutes later, she heard the familiar rattle of the buggy wheels as the horse pulled out of the driveway and down the road.

Anna hurried over to Miriam’s side of the house. She found her mother-in-law crocheting in her favorite chair by the window. The sun was high and bright, shining into the room and basking everything in a lovely summer glow.

“Mamm!” Anna said, sitting down on the sofa next to her. “Steve borrowed the buggy again.”

Miriam looked up, her fingers still moving as she continued making her placemat. “Did he, now?”

“You don’t think…?”

Miriam laughed. “Oh Anna,” she set her work down on her lap. “At his age?” She smiled at her daughter-in-law. They had always had a good relationship. Anna was different than her own daughters, much more open and friendly, eager to be a part of the family from day one. In fact, Miriam often felt closer to her than her own natural daughters. It was just like Anna to hope that Steve was interested in someone. “You do have the most fanciful ideas,” she said gently. She certainly didn’t want to hurt Anna’s feelings. “But I think his time has come and gone. Where would he meet someone anyway? It’s not as if he goes running around with the younger ones and he works from before sunrise to well after sunset.”

Slumping onto the sofa, Anna sighed. She was so hopeful that Steve would find someone to share his life with. He was such a kind man who honored God in every aspect of his daily life. It was a shame to not share it with another godly woman. “I reckon you’re right,” she conceded. “Of course, I still wonder about the buggy…”