Amish Country Box Set: Restless Hearts\The Doctor's Blessing\Courting Ruth (66 page)

“I can see that you were trying to do the right thing,” Mam said. “But you should have told me. Because no one knew, Rudy and Peter got away with playing with matches. And because there were no consequences, they didn’t stop, did they, Irwin?”

He exhaled slowly.

“Did they?” Ruth persisted.

“Ne.”

“Irwin told us to use our shirts to put out the fire,” Rudy said. “But it didn’t work. So he threw a canvas tarp on it.”

“Too much smoke,” Peter explained.

“How did you know they were in the loft?” Miriam asked.

Irwin grimaced again. “Didn’t. Bell rang for dinner.” He shrugged. “Went to find ’em and smelled smoke.”

Samuel crouched and opened his arms. The twins ran into his embrace, and he hugged them tightly. Ruth glanced at Irwin. His lower lip was quivering.

“Did you hear?” Anna asked Samuel.

“Enough to know that these two won’t make the same mistake again.”

Irwin swallowed hard. “You gonna whip them?”

“Ne,”
the big man answered, “but maybe they’ll wish I had.” He stood over his children and looked down on them.
“You two go on home and tend to the chores now. We’ll talk when I get there.”

“What about their dinner?” Mam asked. “I’ve got all that food ready.”

“No need for them to eat with us,” Samuel said. “Children don’t belong at the table with working men.” He turned to Irwin. “But you need to wash up and come to dinner. You’ve earned your place there.”

Irwin’s eyes glowed, and he straightened his shoulders.

“He is a big help to us,” Mam said. “I’ve been thinking of asking Reuben and Lydia if he could sleep here—for higher wages, of course. I think we’d all feel better with a man on the place.”

“Ya,”
Samuel agreed. “The Beachys got plenty of hands to help, and I can see how you could come to depend on Irwin.”

“If he agrees,” Ruth said, looking to Irwin.

Irwin reddened beneath the soot-stained face. “Guess I could do that,” he said. “Too much work here for just you girls.”

Roman started toward the house. “Don’t know about the rest of you, but I’m starving.”

“Come,” Mam said, heading for the house. “Come and eat before everything gets cold.”

Eli touched Ruth’s arm. “Do you have a minute?” he asked her. “I still need to talk to you…”

“Mam needs me,” she said, folding her arms over her chest. “This isn’t the time.” She was so confused. She’d promised herself she’d stay away from Eli, but right now, she wanted nothing more than to wrap her arms around him and hold him so tight she could feel his heart beating next to hers.

“You can’t keep doing this to me.” Eli watched her,
but she wouldn’t look up at him. “I don’t know what to think.”

She let her arms fall to her sides. “Can’t we be friends and leave it at that?”

He shook his head. “Not with you, I can’t,” he said. “Never with you.”

She kept her gaze on her muddy bare feet. “I wish things were different.”

“Ruth,” her mother called from the porch, “are you coming?”

“I have to go,” Ruth said.

“Me, too.” He nodded in the direction of the lane.

“No.” Panic fluttered in her chest. “You have to stay for dinner. If you leave now, Roman and Samuel will wonder why. Everyone will be talking about us again.”

“I don’t mean now. Tomorrow. I have to go to Pennsylvania, to Belleville tomorrow. That was part of what I’ve been trying to tell you. Why I needed to talk to you.” She could hear the exasperation in his voice.

“But when are you coming back?”

“I don’t know. There are things I have to settle there.”

“With that girl?” The second the words came out of her mouth, she regretted them. Her knees felt weak. How had she dared to ask such a question of him? It wasn’t her place. She had no ties to Eli Lapp. No right to ask something so personal.

“Ruth!” Miriam shouted.

“I have to go.” Ruth looked at the house, then at him. All she could think was that he was going away, that she might never see him again. He didn’t deny he was leaving to see the girl. What if he was? What if he was going to patch things up between them…whatever there had been between them? “I’m sorry,” she said softly. And she was. For too many things.

“You go on.” He sounded tired. Resigned. “I’ll wash at the well and be in soon.”

She turned away, then back toward Eli. “Thank you for what you did. For saving those boys.”

“I didn’t save them. Irwin did.”

Eli might never admit it, but he was a hero. He’d gone up into a loft that he’d thought was on fire. He hadn’t thought of his own safety, only that of the children. “It was a brave thing to do. We all know men who have gone into a fire to save someone and not come out.” She smiled at him, proud she knew him, sad that she would never know him better. “You’re a good man, Eli Lapp.”

“No matter what people say?”

She turned and hurried toward the house.

* * *

The days after the near-tragedy in the barn passed swiftly. Late spring was always busy on the farm. In a few days, school would be out, and Mam and Irwin would be at home every day. To her surprise, Ruth had discovered that Irwin, who lacked common sense in dealing with the cows and chickens, had a real feel for gardening. He loved pulling weeds, hoeing and planting vegetables. Not only was he as careful with seeds as Mam, the boy had a knack for laying out perfectly straight rows.

That suited Ruth. Her favorite outside chore was tending the flower beds and cutting fresh bouquets for the house. There were always extra flowers to give away and to sell at the auction. She tried to spend as much time in the yard as she could, mowing and making the annual and perennial beds beautiful, but this year, she didn’t feel quite the satisfaction she usually did.

Sweet corn wouldn’t be planted for another week or two, but Miriam needed help in preparing the field. Samuel had come with his team of Percherons to do the plowing and
disking, and when the moon was right, Miriam would hitch Molly to the planter to sow the seed. This spring Irwin would be another pair of hands, and they needed him badly with Leah and Rebecca still at
Grossmama’s
.

Keeping busy from dawn until dusk should have assured Ruth a good night’s sleep, but it hadn’t turned out that way. She couldn’t get Eli out of her head, and every night, when she climbed into bed, thoughts of him kept her awake. She went over and over what they’d said to each other the day of the fire and wished she’d said something different, though what, she didn’t know. They couldn’t be together for too many reasons, but she wished she could have said something to keep him from walking away, looking so sad. Ruth was surprised how much she missed Eli, missed talking to him, seeing him, seeing his handsome smirk. She missed him, and as one week turned into two, she began to wonder if he would ever return to Seven Poplars or if he really was gone for good. Not that she could blame him. Why would he come back?

When Eli had been in Seven Poplars, he’d caused her trouble, but having him away felt even worse. What was wrong with her? Why was she pining over this boy? She’d made her decision, and she had to learn to live with it.

So Ruth tried to keep busy and tried to work hard, thinking hard work would sweep all the feelings tumbling inside her out the door. Or at least under the rug. Today, there would be no time for moping. She, Mam and her sisters were going to Johanna’s house to help her clean for an upcoming church service. With three-year-old Jonah and baby Katie, Johanna could use the help. Her husband, Wilmer, had gone with a vanload of mourners to Indiana to the funeral of a great-uncle and would be away for four days. No one said anything out loud, but Ruth and all her
sisters, including Johanna, seemed to be relieved he was gone for a few days.

For an Amish man, Wilmer didn’t like farming much, and he was not much help with the small property he and Johanna rented from an English man. Johanna took care of the sheep, the beehives and the hundred baby turkeys. She milked two dairy goats and raised game birds for sale to restaurants in the city. And cared for her two children, and put her husband’s meals on the table, and washed her family’s clothes and did all the work in the house. Wilmer worked in construction, and when he came home after a day’s work, he retreated to his workshop or the parlor where he spent evenings reading and writing letters to his relatives.

Wilmer, Johanna said, put in long hours and was a good provider, but he didn’t like to hear crying babies or trip over toys. He’d been a serious man when Johanna married him, and in the four years since their wedding, he’d become almost morose.

But Johanna was Johanna, always full of hope and energy. Nothing daunted her, and she looked forward to readying her house for church services with all the excitement of a once-a-year trip to Rehoboth Beach. Johanna loved company, and she loved the company of her mother and sisters most of all. Today would be a wonderful day. They were taking three huge picnic baskets of food, and the housework, shared between them, would go as easy as whipped cream on one of Anna’s pumpkin pies.

The morning flew by in a flurry of soapsuds, buckets of ammonia and warm water for scrubbing windows, and the flutter of fresh-washed laundry and rugs hanging on the line. It was a beautiful day, sunny with a cool breeze, and no one minded the heavy work, least of all Ruth. Johanna had a new letter from Leah and Rebecca and kept them in
stitches of laughter as she related the newest adventures their sisters had suffered in caring for
Grossmama
and Aunt Ida. The best news of the letter was that Leah was coming home for a visit next month. She’d found another family who had engaged a driver to come to Dover for a wedding, and they’d promised to bring her along.

After a shared midday meal accompanied by warm chatter and laughter, Mam and her sisters all found quiet spots to rest for an hour before tackling the yard work. Ruth took little Katie up to her bedroom to rock her to sleep. She untied the baby’s
Kapp
ribbons and was just about to lay her down for her nap when Mam came into the room.

“She’s asleep then.” Mam smiled down at the baby. She was chubby and healthy, her mop of dark curls the image of her father’s. Jonah, in contrast, had hair as red as Dat’s, a feature that Wilmer didn’t approve of.

“Johanna’s blessed,” Ruth whispered. She placed Katie on her back and covered her with a red-and-blue quilt Johanna had designed and stitched before the baby was born. For a moment she stood looking down at the old-fashioned cradle their father had brought from his family home in Pennsylvania. A sweet longing made her sigh with regret…her sisters’ babes were the only ones her arms would ever hold.

“She is blessed, as we all are,” Mam said, still looking down at her grandbaby.

Together they tiptoed out of the room, and Ruth pulled the bedroom door closed behind them. She was about to descend the stairs to the first floor when Mam touched her arm and motioned her to sit on the top step beside her.

“I need to talk to you.”

Ruth sat down, suddenly apprehensive.

“I’m worried about you,” her mother said. “You seem so sad lately. Does it have to do with Eli going away?”

Ruth shot her a startled look.

“You think I haven’t noticed? Or Anna or Miriam? They were talking to Johanna about it after you brought the baby up.” She tucked a stray curl under Ruth’s
Kapp
as she had so often when Ruth was a child. “Maybe it is time you start spending less time at home and more time with other young people. If Eli isn’t the one for you, there are other men who would make fine husbands.”

Ruth stared at her mother in disbelief. “I don’t understand. You agreed that I should stay single, stay on the farm to help you with Susanna. Now you’re saying I should be finding a husband?”

Hannah looked equally surprised. “Ruth Yoder! When did I ever say you should stay at home?”

Ruth’s stomach tightened. She felt as if she was falling. A mistake…a terrible mistake. “In…the buggy. After you caught Eli and me together in the grape arbor.” She went on more quickly than before, as if, if she said it, it would be true. “You said I had to set a good example for my sisters and the younger girls in our community. That I had to do what was right.”

For a moment Hannah stared at Ruth. “My darling daughter, how did this happen? How did I not make it clear to you what I was saying?” Hannah cupped Ruth’s face in between her soft hands. “I wasn’t telling you I wanted you to stay home with me. That was my way of telling you it was okay to go, to be with Eli if you wanted. My point was, though, that you had to do it the right way. In marriage, in the church. Not playing games or behaving foolishly.”

“But you told me about the letter.” Ruth caught her mother’s hand and squeezed it. “I value your wisdom, Mam. You were right about Irwin and I was wrong. If you think Eli is an unsuitable match…”

“I was trying to help you think independently and not
to listen to what other people said or thought. I told you about the letter so you would have all the facts. I expected you to go to Eli and ask him about the letter.”

“Dat wouldn’t approve of him, would he?”

Mam sighed. “Probably not, but you aren’t like your father. You’re like me. When I left my family to marry your father, when I changed my faith for him, it was because he was the one man in the world that my heart told me would bring me true happiness. He brought me my beautiful children and he brought me to God. I want nothing less for you, Ruth.”

“Not all marriages can be like that.”

“
Ne
. Look at Johanna’s. Or Lydia’s. They are couples who make marriage work, who take joy in their children and in following God’s path. But you need more, my precious one. What if God sent you this Eli Lapp from Belleville? You talk of following God’s will. Have you considered that maybe our Lord sent him to you so that you could lead Eli back to His grace?”

Ruth couldn’t hold back the tears. Soon she was sobbing, and her mother was holding her as she wept. “It’s too late,” she managed between bouts of crying. “Too late. I think…I think he wanted to…to ask me if he could court me, but I…I wouldn’t even talk to him. He even tried to tell me why he was going to Belleville. But I turned him away, and now he’s gone back to that girl…and…I’ve lost him forever.”