“Sophie?”
I tense, the familiar tear-filled voice infiltrating my heart. Turning, all the air freezes in my lungs. I blink several times, terrified each time that what I’m seeing will disappear.
“Mom? Dad? Tess?” The names fall on a choked whisper, their images blurring before my eyes. My feet move on their own, a sob exploding past my lips as I run down the hall and straight into my mother’s waiting arms.
“Oh, baby, I’ve missed you so much,” she cries, her tears falling into my hair.
“I’ve missed you, too.” I move an arm around Tess as she huddles in, her tear-stained cheek sticking to mine. My dad wraps his arms around us all, pressing a kiss to the side of my head.
My heart expands as minutes pass, peace settling over me to be reunited with the people I love most in the world. It’s as if the final cracks in my fractured soul are finally being mended together. I feel completely whole for the first time in so long.
I’m no longer healing.
I’m finally
healed
.
My mother eventually steps back to cradle my face between her hands; the sadness in her eyes has guilt striking my heart.
“I’m so sorry,” I manage hoarsely, my eyes moving to my dad and Tess too, hating to see the same pain in their expressions as my mom’s. “So sorry I stayed away. I thought—”
My mom presses a finger to my lips. “We can talk about that later. All that matters right now is that you’re okay.” She drops a hand to my neck, her fingers gently brushing my scars. “Are you…okay?”
“I am now,” I assure her, feeling a small smile stretch across my cracked lips. “And it’s all thanks to one person. Let me introduce you guys. You’re going to love him. He…” My words fade when I turn around to find Kolan gone.
I start toward the nurses’s station, wondering if there’s some leftover paperwork, but my mother snags my wrist. “Kolan?”
“Yeah. You met him?”
“Of course. How do you think we knew you were here?”
It’s then I remember his surprise. Of course this was all him, I think with a smile.
“He called yesterday and arranged for us to fly down here late this morning.” Warmth invades me as I’m once again blown away by his kindness and generosity. “He seems wonderful, honey.”
“He really is, Mom.”
“We can tell,” my father cuts in. “He even said he’d take care of getting your things packed up and sent home for you so you won’t have to worry about it.”
Every muscle in my body strains, panic striking me hard and fast. “Wh—what?” I ask, thinking I misunderstood.
“I know, I know,” my mother says. “Your father offered to pay for it but he insisted he would take care of it.”
“But…” I trail off, not knowing what to say, my heart shattering into a million pieces.
He doesn’t want me?
That doesn’t make sense. He just said I’m the best thing that ever happened to him.
It suddenly all becomes clear. How upset he was. Why he wanted to spend more time with me. Did he think I was just going to go back home? Is that what he wants?
Tears burn the back of my throat as utter devastation consumes me.
“Come on, sweetheart.” My dad wraps an arm around my shoulder and begins leading me down the hall. “You look exhausted. Let’s go back to the hotel so you can rest. Our flight leaves tomorrow afternoon.”
Tess links her arm with mine as we make our way toward the exit, her head resting on my shoulder. My body is moving, breathing on its own, but I feel completely dead inside. I’m lost to a man who owns my heart, the one crumbling inside of my aching chest the farther away we walk.
One he doesn’t want.
Kolan
S
ometimes, doing the right thing fucking sucks.
Night has long since fallen as I stand on the beach, listening to the waves crash against the shore. I came out here shortly after arriving home because I couldn’t stand the silence in my house, and I haven’t moved since.
It’s been hours since I last saw her—touched her, held her—and already I’m a fucking mess. Walking out of that hospital without her was the hardest thing I’ve ever done in my life.
I never intended to give her up. It was only nights ago that I was buried in her sweet body, confessing how I would never let anyone take her from me. Yet, here I stand. Alone. Because I love her enough to let her go—to let her have the life she deserves.
The one that was stolen from her.
Nothing else matters except her happiness, and I know what makes her most happy is being with her family and dancing. It isn’t here with me.
The thought only sharpens the ache that has taken up a permanent residence inside my chest. Shaking my head, I decide that drowning my sorrows in a bottle of Jack is a hell of a lot better than wallowing in them. My feet sink into the cool sand as I make my way back up to the house. Climbing up the few steps to my patio I come to an abrupt halt, my chest seizing at the sight of her standing next to my pool.
Arms wrapped around her middle, the hem of her soft yellow dress whispers across her thighs as the slight breeze catches her long wavy hair, brushing it across her tear-stained cheeks. If not for the misery on her pretty face, I’d think I was fucking hallucinating, but in my fantasies she would never look as sad as she does right now. It takes every ounce of control I have not to take her in my arms and kiss the hell out of her right now.
“How did you get here?”
Smooth start, asshole.
“Taxi,” she responds quietly. “I was going to call, but I didn’t think you would answer.”
I remain quiet because she’s right, I probably wouldn’t have.
“Why did you just leave me like that?”
The tremble in her voice tugs at my heart, and I fight like hell against the pull. The one that’s been there since she came into my life—one that will never go away.
“I wanted to give you time with your family.”
“So you were going to come back for me?”
Silence descends again because we both know the answer to that, and I can’t bring myself to say it.
“Did you really think I was just going to get on a plane tomorrow and pretend the past couple of months never happened?”
“You should,” I tell her, the words feeling bitter on my tongue.
“That’s really what you want?”
“This isn’t about what I fucking want,” I snap. “This is about you, Sophie. It’s about taking your life back and living out all of the dreams you had before that sick fuck took them from you.”
“Well, dreams change,” she cries out. “What about us? What about all the time we’ve spent together? I’m in love with you, Kolan.”
Her words hit me like a ton of bricks, a forceful blow to the chest. I shake my head. “You don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“The hell I don’t. Don’t tell me what I feel. Don’t treat me like I’m some stupid girl who can’t make her own decisions.”
“Then don’t make stupid decisions!”
“Why is it stupid?” she asks. “Huh? Why is it so hard for you to believe I love you?”
Because no one else ever has.
My jaw snaps shut, teeth grinding as I bite back that reply.
“So this is it?” she asks, tears beginning to stream down her beautiful face. “You’re going to throw it all away, just like that?”
My hands fist at my sides, throat on fucking fire as I refrain from dropping down in front of her and begging her to stay.
Jesus, I don’t know if I can do this. Even if it’s the right thing.
She shakes her head bitterly. “Well, you can think I’m stupid all you want, but at least I’m not a coward.” Her words hang in the tense air between us before she turns around and moves for my back door.
Panic grips my chest and sends me into motion. My bare feet eat up the concrete as I catch up to her. I slam my hand on the sliding glass door before she can open it and crowd her against it, feeling her back tremble with her stifled sobs.
“Please don’t cry, Soph,” I plead, my throat feeling raw. “I’m trying to do the right thing here.”
“All you’re doing is breaking my heart.”
I bury my face in her hair, her agony igniting a fire in my chest. “I’m so fucking sorry. I don’t want this. I’m just trying to give you back everything you lost. I know how much you’ve missed your family.”
Wiping her cheeks with the back of her hand, she turns around in my caged arms and peers up at me, her sad eyes knocking the wind straight out of my lungs. “Of course I have but this isn’t the same as last time. I can talk to them every day. They can come here, and I can visit them. It doesn’t have to be one or the other, Kolan. I can have you both.”
“And what about dancing, huh? What about everything you were working toward? I’m not letting you give that up for me.”
“I don’t have to. I can dance anywhere.”
“It won’t be the same and you know it.”
“Sure it will but even if it wasn’t, even if I had to choose, I’d choose you. I would always choose you, Kolan, because I love you more than dancing.”
I shake my head in disbelief, feeling completely undeserving of her.
“Do you feel anything for me?” she asks, her voice wavering. “Have the past couple of months meant anything to you?”
“Jesus, of course they have. I fucking love you, Soph. It’s not about that. It never was.”
Her hands fist my shirt, eyes pleading. “Then don’t send me away. Don’t throw
us
away.”
I drop my forehead on hers, my breathing harsh from the emotions threatening to suffocate me. “Be sure, Sophie. Because if you stay, then you better know now I’m never letting you go.”
She gives me a watery smile. “Promise?”
Instead of responding with useless words, I cup her neck and bring her in mouth to mouth, sealing both of our fates. I inhale her cry of longing, tasting the saltiness of her tears, and swallow every bit of pain I’ve caused her.
“I love you so much,” she whimpers, locking her arms around my neck.
“I love you too, baby. So fucking much.” My hands slip under her dress, a strained groan ripping from my chest when I feel the scrap of silk between her round bare globes. “Goddamn, I need you.”
“Then take me.”
With a growl, I cup her bare ass and hoist her up, her long legs hugging my waist. I reach for the door and am about to charge into my house like the fucking Flash when she stops me.
“No. Here.”
“What?” I ask like an idiot. I’m so fucking blind with need that I can’t think straight.
“Here. Make love to me out here.”
Groaning, I carry her over to the double chaise lounge and gently lay her down, never losing contact with her mouth as I position myself between her sweet thighs. I rip the top of her dress down, tearing the strap from her shoulder.
“Oh, this is my sister’s,” she worries, her voice breathless.
“I’ll buy her a new one,” I promise. “And I’ll buy you one too because it looks really fucking good on you.”
Her laughter trails off into a harsh gasp when I take a pink nipple in my mouth, my tongue rolling and teeth grazing the tight bead.
“Yes!” She knocks my hat off my head, her fingers gripping my hair as she arches into my mouth. Her hips lift, the heat of her pussy burning me through my jeans.
“Damn, Soph, you’re on fucking fire, baby.”
She reaches for my shirt, tugging it up my back. “Take this off, I need to feel your skin.”
I lift only enough to let her pull my shirt over my head before I take my place again, another groan vibrating from my chest at the feel of her soft curves. Her nails bite into my back, the sting of pain shooting straight to my dick.
My mouth fuses with hers as I reach between us to fumble with my belt, the need to be inside of her overriding everything else. As much as I want to take my time and worship every part of her body, I need her too fucking bad right now.
“Kolan?” she whispers against my lips.
“Yeah, baby.”
“Can I be on top?”
My efforts cease as I pull back to look down at her. The only time I’ve ever had a girl over top of me is tied up, her hands bound above her head and linked to the chain hanging from a ceiling.
Sensing my hesitation, she gives me a small smile, but there’s no denying the flash of disappointment in her eyes. “Never mind. It’s okay. Come here.”
She curls a hand around my neck to bring me back to her lips, but I switch our positions instead. With an arm under her, I roll to my back, bringing her over to straddle me.
Her eyes widen with surprise, and I wait for panic to set in. It hovers, threatening to claim me, but it doesn’t break through…not yet. Maybe because she looks fucking perfect above me right now. Or maybe it’s because I’d give this girl anything she asked for if I knew it would make her happy.
“Are you sure?” she asks quietly.
“Yeah, baby, I’m always sure when it comes to you.”
She reaches down, her hand grazing my jaw. “You control it all. I just want to feel you this way.”
Reaching under the dress bunched at her waist, I rip the thin silk from her hips. Her blissful moan fills the air as she lifts herself up enough for me to free my hard cock and center myself. Slowly, I lower her down on me, the heat of her hot pussy yanking a hiss from my mouth. My teeth grind as I resist the urge to drive up inside of her.
“Oh god, I love the way you fill me,” she moans, head falling back as she takes me all the way to the hilt.
“Me too, you feel so fucking good, baby. Always so good.” I barely hold onto my restraint. My fingers dig into her hips as I give her time to adjust, when all I want to do is roll her over and fuck the breath out of her.
Bracing her hands on my stomach, she begins rocking back and forth, her movements slow and unsure. My grip on her hips helps guide her, while she finds her rhythm.
“There you go, baby,” I praise, allowing her to set the pace.
Her expression is soft and eyes hooded, the pool lights dance across her soft skin, casting a glow over every inch of her perfect body, making her look like the fucking angel she is.
My angel.
“Lift your dress, Soph. Show me what you look like riding my cock.”
A fiery whimper parts her lips as she gathers the bunched material in her hands and lifts it. I watch as my cock disappears with each smooth glide, her pussy sucking me into its hot depths.