An Elegant Façade (Hawthorne House Book #2) (28 page)

Suddenly finding himself without appetite, Colin pushed his plate away. “May I speak frankly?”

She scoffed. “As if I could stop you.”

He had to nod an agreement on that one. Their time together had never rested on ceremony as far as he was concerned. “I think you do yourself a disservice. I think you’re afraid to let people see who you are, the girl who loves art, who adores color. The fiercely loyal friend with all the vulnerabilities of the average person. Sometimes I think you’re even afraid to face her yourself.”

“You’re quite philosophical in the morning, Mr. McCrae.” She took a sip of chocolate. “Are we friends, then, Colin?”

“I suppose one might call us that.” In truth he didn’t know what they were. He had a growing suspicion of what he’d like them to be, but the chances of that happening were less likely than a blizzard in July. And it wasn’t just because he was nowhere near her idea of an acceptable suitor. No, he was interested in the girl beneath the veneer, the one he caught glimpses of every time he’d almost convinced himself to be done with her.

She gave him a wide smile. “Excellent. Because I could very much use a friend like you right now.”

His heart tripped over itself as it rushed to every possible erroneous conclusion. “Whatever for?”

“Why to select a new target, of course. I know you stay as current on gossip as I do. If we combine our knowledge, we’ll find me the perfect candidate. I’m running out of time, you know.”

He didn’t know what to say. What could he say? He pulled his plate back to him and took a bite of toast to give his mouth something to do. It tasted like sandpaper.

“Well?” She took a sip of her drink.

“Eversly,” he mumbled.

She blinked. “The viscount?”

“You are friendly with each other, he is well liked, and his purse is not likely to run out on you.” He would also be extremely difficult to drag to the altar. Eversly wasn’t showing any interest in settling down anytime soon.

Georgina could probably do it though.

And suddenly, Colin didn’t think he could stomach staying around to watch it. He pushed away from the table. “My apologies, but I’ve just remembered another engagement this morning. Please convey my good-byes to your brother.”

Her eyes blinked slowly in obvious surprise. “Of course.”

He bowed and left the house.

And then he left town.

Ryland accepted Colin’s presence without question, even when he spent the first two days at Marshington Abbey sitting in the library or staring out the window of his bedchamber. Ryland and Miranda had left him alone, though the occasional food tray was delivered.

Colin appreciated the silence, even though he knew the duchess was probably driving Ryland mad discussing the possible reasons for Colin’s unannounced arrival.

What was he going to do now? He supposed he could return to London, go on as he had been, but it felt flat somehow. He’d amassed an enormous sum of money over the years. Maintaining his existing investments would allow him to keep his family beyond comfortable should disaster strike or his father give in to another foolish, greedy impulse.

He’d lost the motivation that had pushed him so hard these past five years. Or was it that once he’d decided to take the position in Glasgow he’d begun to think of his life differently? He’d pictured a family of his own, a sense of purpose, the ability to grow something besides his bank account.

If the idea of doing these things with Erika Finley at his side was only moderately interesting, he blamed it on not being near the girl. If she were as wonderful as she sounded in his mother’s letters, his regard of her would grow with proximity.

Maybe.

Not that it mattered now, since he’d sent Hugh to manage the shipping company.

There were a few things of which he was certain. He couldn’t go back to London and watch Georgina work her charms on the elusive Lord Eversly. He also couldn’t go back to Scotland without a reason. What if his family rejected him? Left him standing on the doorstep the same way his father left him on the London docks when Colin refused to turn over the portion of the company he’d won?

He still had ties in the War Office. Maybe he should consider their offer to employ him instead of just rubbing shoulders with him every once in a while. He’d have to keep it a secret from Ryland. The duke had threatened to shoot Colin himself if he took the Office up on their offer.

Movement outside caught his attention, and he pressed closer to the window. A large coach was coming down the drive. He hadn’t known Ryland was expecting company, though that was probably due to his chosen solitude rather than his host’s secrecy.

The coach’s crest became visible as the conveyance pulled up to the house. Colin groaned the moment before the door was opened and the Hawthorne siblings spilled out of it. Georgina’s hair glinted as she turned her face up to the sun. Her smile was wide as she said something to her brothers that made them laugh.

Moments later Miranda was running down the front steps to wrap her arms around her brother. Ryland followed her at a more sedate pace. After shaking the men’s hands, he looked up at Colin’s window, a half smile on his face.

Ryland was obviously done with Colin’s silence.

She’d been skeptical when Griffith suggested they all take a few days at Marshington Abbey, but Georgina was surprised at how much easier she was already finding it to breathe. The balls, dinners, card parties, and trips to the theatre had grown tiresome over the past week. Even before Lord Ashcombe had left town, the pleasure had dwindled from the activities.

Perhaps because she had never taken the time to find the pleasure in them in the first place. She’d enjoyed her successes, the evidence that she was achieving her goal, but she’d never taken the time to let herself enjoy an event for what it was. The thought brought a heavy sense of guilt and failure with it.

As Miranda wrapped her arms around Georgina, though, she felt as if the hug was squeezing away the problems, lifting the weight from her chest.

She’d missed her sister. More than she’d expected to.

“Come in, come in. Perhaps more in attendance will coax our other guest to show his face at dinner tonight.” Miranda hooked her arm though Griffith’s as they all made their way inside.

Trent paused in the act of brushing dust from his coat. “Other guest? You’re entertaining?”

Miranda snorted. “Hardly. Colin’s done little more than—”

“Price will see to everyone’s luggage. I think tea has been set out in the drawing room.” Ryland interrupted his wife, making everyone look at him with varying degrees of surprise. He continued as if he hadn’t done anything unusual. “At least half the rooms are still buried in a decade of dust, but we’ve aired out the best bedchambers for your use.”

“There is quite a bit of house.” Miranda looked at her husband sideways but didn’t try to return to the conversation he’d cut short.

Georgina wished they would. She’d wondered where Colin had disappeared to, even as she told herself not to care. He’d been gone for more than a week, stayed in Town for a day, and then left again. Most people didn’t even know he’d returned, if they’d noticed his absence in the first place.

Not many of the ladies she talked with even knew who he was. She’d mentioned him once a day or two ago and everyone had looked at her strangely before moving on to discuss the daring dress Lady Yensworth had worn that evening.

And now he was here.

She wasn’t sure how she felt about that.

The drawing room looked a good deal better than it had when they swooped in to rescue Miranda several weeks ago. The furniture still looked a little worn, but at least it was clean and welcoming. The tea smelled wonderful, but the idea of sitting made her shudder. “Please don’t stand on ceremony, gentlemen. I have the desire to take a turn about the room and stretch my legs.”

Georgina wandered over to the fireplace, admiring the exquisitely carved mantel. The scrolls and flutings didn’t make any sort of recognizable pattern, but they were all the more lovely for their seeming chaos.

Ryland joined her, pressing a cup of tea into her hand and softly asking, “How does your Season go?”

She accepted the drink with caution. What was this man up to? She’d tried to avoid him since learning of his covert activities. If Lord Ashcombe could become suspicious of her, a trained spy would strip her secrets bare. “Things couldn’t be better, Your Grace.”

“We’re family. Feel free to call me Ryland. Or Marsh, as your brother does.” Ryland sipped at his own cup of tea. “We’ve seen several betrothals in the paper.”

“Yes.” What else could she say? He knew she was not betrothed. Even she would not keep that information from family.

Even she? What did she mean by that?

Perhaps that you’ve lost a bit of yourself in your pursuit of the perfect
husband?

She turned to Ryland. “I doubt you’ll see my name anytime soon.”

His eyebrows lifted. “Truly? I thought you’d been seen frequently with Lord Ashcombe. Has he no intention of making an offer?”

“That would be quite difficult, Your Grace, as he is no longer in Town.” She paused. “Of which I’m fairly certain you are aware.” Georgina glanced over her shoulder to see if anyone was concerned about their quiet conversation. All of her siblings were engrossed in their own discussions, not paying her a bit of attention.

He grinned. “Oh, I’m aware. He hied off to Cheshire to take care of things when his manager found a better position. I’ve tried to hire the man away myself before. He didn’t take the job.”

Not trade up to a duke for employment? “Whyever not?”

“He was raised on the coast, you know. Said the only way he’d move his family was if it got him back to the water. I’m sure he’s very happy in Glasgow.” Ryland toasted her with his cup and then walked away to engage Griffith in a discussion.

With everything in her she was quite certain that the conversation had not been happenstance. Ryland did not do anything without a reason. Which meant the conversation about Ashcombe’s manager was more than idle information.

She was supposed to get something out of it.

But what? Ryland had relayed very few facts that she wasn’t already aware of, which must mean she had missed something she should have known, something he expected her to be able to put together.

The rest of her family rumbled on, but she ignored them, choosing to think over everything Ryland had said, word for word.

The door opened, but Georgina ignored it.

Until Colin’s voice cut through her musings, scattering her thoughts from her head. She turned around, trying not to make too much of the burning need to see him. The sun angled through the window, catching his hair and making it look redder than normal. His hair was mussed, as if he’d been running his hands through it or standing against the wind on the deck of one of his ships.

His ships.

Glasgow.

Colin was from Glasgow. His family was in shipping. And most importantly, he had never thought she should marry Ashcombe. The shock of a dawning revelation added a coldness to her voice she’d never heard before. “Good evening, Mr. McCrae.”

His gaze met hers across the room. “Lady Georgina.”

Her family looked back and forth between them, but Georgina ignored them. If Colin had purposely ruined her last chance at safety, she would never forgive him. “You’ve been traveling quite a bit lately. Where have you been going?”

His eyes narrowed a bit before his gaze slid to Griffith. “I was checking on some things at Riverton’s estate.”

Her fingers grew chilled, sending ice trickling through her veins to her heart. “Oh? Which one?”

He looked tired as he pulled his gaze back to hers. “Crestwood.”

Crestwood. In Cheshire. The coincidences were too much to ignore. Colin McCrae had overstepped the bounds of any sort of friendship he could have considered them to have. Knowing why she needed to marry, knowing that she was counting on an offer from the earl, knowing her predicament, he had still taken it upon himself to remove her best prospect for a successful marriage from her vicinity.

She would never forgive him.

Her family stretched between them, their heads still turning
back and forth to watch them both, their jaws slack, as if they couldn’t be bothered with the effort to shut them.

Colin straightened his shoulders and faced her scrutiny. He looked concerned but not regretful. She wanted to toss the remaining tea in his face. But she wouldn’t give her family the satisfaction of a scene.

“I find myself tired from the journey.” She turned to her sister. “Might I be shown to my room, please?”

Miranda rose, still looking from her to Colin with a questioning glance. “Of course.”

Georgina refused to look at Colin as she left the room, but her gaze fell on Ryland as she turned away. His face was blank of expression, and she couldn’t help but wonder how he’d known and why he’d told her. Or rather given her the nudge to figure it out herself.

All the questions were making her head hurt, and she found her desire to retire was real after all.

Sleep wouldn’t come.

She lay on the bed until her body began to ache from the tension. A cold supper tray sat on the desk. Miranda had sent it up nearly an hour ago, and Georgina had allowed the maid to leave it even though she had no desire to eat. She’d had even less desire for company. Even Harriette had been sent from the room, although she’d refused to go any farther than the cot in the dressing room.

Georgina didn’t really care where her friend slept so long as she wasn’t in the room to question Georgina.

Unable to stay in bed any longer, Georgina grabbed a piece of cheese from the tray and nibbled it while she paced the room.

What had Colin been thinking?

I wanted to save you.

She scoffed. Even the imaginary Colin was impertinent and overbearing. So what if he thought he was saving her? Why then? If he had the means to remove Lord Ashcombe from her sphere,
why wait? Why not take care of things when she first declared her interest in the earl? Colin had been very aware that she’d set her cap for Lord Ashcombe despite her family’s objections.

The thought quaked her, sending her tripping across the floor until she wrapped her arms around a bedpost.

Her family had objected. All of them. Not even Mother had been happy when the earl came to visit. How could Georgina not have seen that? How could she not have cared? Was she so absorbed by her fear of discovery that she’d thrown aside her family’s good opinion?

She hadn’t meant to. A tear rolled down her cheek. When had she shut them out? Had it happened slowly, as her shortcoming became more and more difficult to hide? Or had it happened when she and Harriette sat up one night, concocting a plan to secure her place at the top of society, placing her above reproach or suspicion? Perhaps it had been when her plan started to fall apart. Had she panicked and shut them out then?

Whenever it was didn’t matter. The question was, was it too late to change it?

And did she want to?

The fact was, if she let them into her life, if she stopped pushing them away, it would be nearly impossible to protect herself.

You don’t have to protect yourself. You’re safe.

No. No, she wasn’t. Colin was wrong. She didn’t know what he was made of that allowed him to accept that the written word was her enemy, but she couldn’t believe that everyone had that. Perhaps it was because he’d had to work for what he had. He appreciated the effort her deception had required. Most people didn’t think like that. She’d seen what everyone, her own sister included, had thought of Lavinia. And there was nothing Lavinia couldn’t actually do.

At best, they would pity her. More likely they’d see her as a failure. How could they not?

But maybe they didn’t need to know. Maybe she could just reestablish her relationships with them. Maybe here in the privacy
of Marshington Abbey she could let down her guard a bit. Forget about appearances and be herself, get to know her siblings again. Let them get to know her.

And if she slipped up and they discovered? It wouldn’t be the end of the world. Besides, she hadn’t messed up in so long. . . .

A vision, a memory of Lord Ashcombe holding the note out to her, asking her why she hadn’t read it, flashed through her mind. Him lying about what it said, tricking her.

Georgina dropped the last two bites of cheese back on the tray, suddenly afraid what little she’d eaten was about to make another appearance.

He knew. Or at least suspected. He knew.

That’s why Colin had done it now. It had to be.

She threw open the door and ran into the corridor, ignoring the fact that she was in a dressing gown and high-necked night rail. She needed to see him. Needed to know if she was right.

Needed to know if he had been more of a friend than she could ever imagine. She stumbled to a halt as she realized how quiet and dark the house was. She must have lain in bed longer than she realized.

It could wait until morning, then.

She returned to her room, wondering if her conclusion was true or if she was trying to come up with a reason because she wanted Colin to be sincere and trustworthy. To be nice.

Think about what you know about me, Georgina. This thing with
Ashcombe is not all there is.

Sleep nudged at her as she crawled back into bed. She slept in fits, interspersed with memories of Colin McCrae. Yes, he’d helped her save Jane, but he’d also teased her mercilessly in front of her brother. He’d uncovered her darkest secret. But then he’d kept it to himself. There were times he’d prodded her to reveal it, but never in public. Never where it would shame or ruin her.

Did that make him a good sort of fellow or not?

By the time the sun edged over her windowsill, she was more than ready to welcome a new day. Between fits of slumber, she’d
argued with herself and the Colin in her head over whether or not the man was likeable.

Like me or not. You know
I’m honorable.

That was true. If Colin had indeed been the one to ruin any chance of marrying Lord Ashcombe in the near future, he’d done it with the best of intentions.

But in the light of day, she knew that it didn’t matter. His actions, honorable though they may be, had left her with no options. None that would save her. She had failed. All of the work, memorizing passages of books and knowing everything about everyone so she would never be at a disadvantage—it had all been for nothing.