An Eternity of Eclipse (29 page)

"Why do you have to be better than anything I could ever dream up?”
20:
Breaking the Sun

The girls’ night at club
Soleil
was boring.

Per usual, we were getting free drinks from guys in the club because we were five cute girls sitting together with no boyfriends in sight. Due to the fact that Ara, Dawn, and their friends, Kina and Missy, were trying to limit their round of drinks in fear of getting wasted, I took the honor of emptying the drinks that were gifted to us. Honestly, if you were sexually frustrated because you had a ridiculously hot Demon following you around, you would drink yourself into oblivion as well. Plus, I was bored to boot.

I suppose to have fun on a girls’ night, you would have to like those in your company. Since I only enjoyed fifty-percent of the company I was with, I was miserable the majority of the time.

Let me introduce you to Kina Oh and Missy Park. If Ara, Dawn, and I were like peas in a pod, then Kina, Missy, and I were like oil and water.

Kina and Missy were childhood friends with Ara and Dawn. They were also the epitome of the types of people I would never voluntarily hang out with. They were rich, stuffy, and self-righteous—all critical components fusing into personalities that bordered on ignorance and snobbery. When Ara and Dawn first introduced me to them, they were relatively friendly. All that warmness faded away when they found out that I wasn’t a Christian, and all that friendliness morphed into snobbery when they found out that I wasn’t planning on converting.

It didn’t take a genius to deduce that Kina and Missy didn’t think I was “worthy” enough to hang out with them because of my lack of religious affiliations. They have made no effort to hide their distaste towards me. I was in their group, but not completely in their inner circle. In their already established inner circle, I was merely a guest. This was something I have always understood and truthfully speaking, it was something I never minded. With my personality traits, my affinity towards solidarity, and my own efforts to safeguard my secrets, I would always prefer to be someone’s “guest” anyway.

Don’t get me wrong. With my aversion towards Kina and Missy aside, it was so nice to finally hang out with Dawn and Ara again. I saw them throughout school for lunch, but it still wasn’t the same hangout time we usually had because I had been heavily distracted by Eclipse.

Albeit it was wonderful to be hanging with my friends again, I had to admit that I was really beginning to miss Eclipse. He could be overbearing at times, but he was also incredibly fun to have around. He would always make the most interesting comments about people, and even though I would never outright agree with him, I could see where he was coming from. I also couldn’t help but feel bad about the way I left things off at home. I couldn’t forget his crestfallen face after I pretty much told him that I hated being around him. I felt guilt, but almost as quickly, a part of me would assure myself that I was doing what was best. Eclipse was too dangerous to be around. The more time I could be away from him, the better it was for my own survival. It was too dangerous to get “used to” having Eclipse by my side. I couldn’t allow myself to get this attached, especially not to a Demon who only wanted my soul. With that thought engraved in my mind, I continued to sit there, attempting to enjoy my night.

“Grace, you seem really distracted lately,” Ara finally voiced.

We were in a crescent-shaped booth, and I was sitting between Ara and Dawn and across from Kina and Missy. I was drinking by myself, half-heartedly paying attention to what they were saying and letting out meek laughter whenever the whole group laughed. I assumed I was doing a good job of blending into the social environment around me, but I guess with the preoccupied state I was in, it only made sense that my usually good acting skills were mediocre tonight.

Ara spared a glance at Dawn who, after taking a moment to decide if this was the appropriate time, chimed in and said, “We’re actually getting really worried about you, Grace.”

I looked at them, surprised by the severity in their choice of words.  

“Why?” I forced a laugh in an effort to appease the worry that was prevalent on their faces. “Why are you guys worried about me?”

“You just don’t seem like yourself,” Ara commented gently. Concern outlined her voice. “Every time I see you, you always seem distracted and jumpy. It’s like you’re expecting someone to pop out of nowhere and attack you or something.”

Or something
, I thought absentmindedly.

Unbeknownst to what I was thinking, Dawn said, “And it’s been worrying us because every time Ara and I try to talk to you, it always looks like you’re in a dream world.” She paused meaningfully and then added, “And you still haven’t told us what happened on your date with Don. You usually tell us these things right away. This is not like you, Grace . . .”

Granted Ara and Dawn weren’t people that I would consider to be my true friends (my definition of friends were people you would share your secrets with, so in that regard, no one in the world was actually my friend), they were close enough to me. I cared about them. Probably not in the same manner that normal people would care about their friends, but for someone like me, it was considered an amazing feat that I even had a semblance of attachment for Ara and Dawn. What they said touched a small part of me that still felt human, so much so that it felt like a burden to prepare to lie to them. As nice as it was for them to voice their concerns, I was not about to reveal to them why I had been so distracted lately. If I told them that I had a Demon shadowing after me and bugging me for my soul, I doubted I would have any “friends” left.

I smiled softly at them, ready to give some bullshit reason as to why I had been acting strangely. I could hardly get a word out before a rude voice interrupted me.

“Cut it out with the bullshit, guys,” Kina spoke up from the side, clearly intoxicated as she laid her lethargic eyes on them.

Kina had always been a lightweight drinker and after two shots of vodka, it was safe to say that she was drunk. It was also safe to say that she was ruder and more abrasive when she was drunk. The only good thing about her drunken state was that she seemed to hate me less. Although I couldn’t complain too much about her being inebriated, I could complain about her bluntness,
especially
with her next words.

“She’s not going to tell you anything if you’re beating around the bush.” She looked at Dawn and Ara before swiveling her piercing brown eyes in my direction. “We heard that some random guy tagged along on your date and that guy told DonKi to convince someone else’s girlfriend to cheat with him.”

“DonKi told you that?!” I cried, my eyes wide with shock at this new development. I was so stunned that I could barely retain any acting skills. What the fuck? So they all came here already knowing about what happened on my date?

Kina shrugged. “Well, not exactly. He told Dawn that. I happened to have overheard a little bit when she was turning him down.”

My eyes grew larger. A scandalized gasp escaped my lips when the latter half of the statement rang in my ears. Turned him down?

Oh my God.

I turned to Dawn, whose face was pink with mortification. “
You’re
the other woman?”

Dawn groaned, face-palming herself. “It’s not like that, Grace.”

“Apparently he’s had a thing for Dawn for a while now,” Ara interrupted. Amusement overfilled her slurring voice. “And apparently he doesn’t care if she’s been with Sun for eight years. He wants a chance with her too.”

“That piece of donkey shit!” I shouted, showing an uncharacteristically immature side from all the alcohol I drank.

My unexpected cussing was not lost on the girls, all of whom were staring at me in bewilderment. I was too livid to care about their dumbfounded reactions. I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. My mind was going haywire.

My breathing grew heavy and angry when I said, “Why did he ask me out if he was crushing on Dawn the entire time?”

Missy laughed as though I had posed the dumbest question. Like Kina, she was friendlier as a drunk, but unfortunately like Kina, she was also too blunt for my taste. “Isn’t it obvious? He was trying to make her jealous by hooking up with her friend. Since all of us are taken, you were the only choice left.”

Dawn shook her head, exasperated. She placed a comforting hand on my shoulder and finally decided to chime into this conversation.

“DonKi had been lusting after different girls for as long as I’ve known him. A couple of months ago, it was several other girls from church. Several weeks ago, it was Missy and Kina. Recently it was me, and the other week, he was even crushing on Ara!”

Ara’s eyes broadened disbelievingly. “Really?”   

Dawn nodded distractedly at Ara before angling to face me fully. “DonKi falls in and out of lust with girls at such a rapid pace that he puts the speed of light to shame. He has a thing for girls who are taken. It was always a weird fetish of his. This was why I was really happy when you guys hit it off at my party. Unfortunately, however much DonKi was attracted to you, he still couldn’t shake away his lust and attraction for a girl who was already taken. And regrettably, the idiot chose me as his latest object of ‘already-taken’ affection.”

This was where Kina’s voice drifted in again. “It wasn’t until Dawn smacked him in the head and berated him for being shady did DonKi confess that he got the screwed up advice from some random guy who was tagging along on your date.”

The spotlight turned to me once we reached this point of the conversation. Everyone was curious, and from the look in their eyes, they weren’t going to let me sneak my way out of answering this one.

“Care to explain your end of the date now?” Kina prompted sternly. “Who was this random guy?”

I sighed, pretending to be exhausted while I sang my pearls of lies to my friends.

“He’s some guy from my apartment complex. We spoke a bit in the elevator after I came home from school one day and we’ve been having small chats after that. He mentioned that he had just moved in and that he was going through a bad breakup. He said he was looking to start over. I don’t know what came over me. I stupidly threw the invitation out that he could come hang out with me on my date if he was lonely and needed company. It was a thoughtless offer. I didn’t think he’d accept!”

The girls bobbed their heads, all four clicking their tongues in understanding. None were the wiser, and none detected the lie in the tale I told them.

“So, he’s not your boyfriend or suitor or anything?” Ara asked quietly. Disappointment suffused her voice when she realized that this “phantom boyfriend” of mine didn’t exist—that he was some random neighbor I took pity on.

I swayed my head from side to side. “Oh no. Definitely not. He’s not my type.”

He’s a Demon
, I wanted to add.

“Too bad,” Dawn teased after everyone was satisfied with my story. “At first, we were pissed off at DonKi for running out on your date. But when we found out that you were with some other guy, we were all excited that little Grace was finally going to have her own boyfriend. We were looking forward to having the quintuple-group-date we’ve always wanted for our group!”

I smiled, recalling being the ninth wheel whenever I went out with the girls and their respective boyfriends. It was always awkward. Everyone always teased me about getting a boyfriend so that we could have “fun group dates” together. After roughly four years, I imagined they were losing hope that I would actually land myself a full-time boyfriend as opposed to dating different guys every other week.

“Maybe next year,” I offered, saddened because I really thought DonKi was going to be the tenth wheel in our group. I truly believed he was going to be “the one” for me.
So much for that dream . . .

Ara nodded before reverting back to the more serious side of the conversation. “Now that we’ve figured out the mystery guy, can you tell us what’s been bothering you lately?”

“It’s really nothing, guys,” I placated in my most reassuring voice. “I think I’ve been taking on too many things at once. I’m exhausted from school, volunteering, my personal life, and things like that. My life has been spinning out of control, and I think I had a small breakdown. It’s okay though. I’m trying to get back into the motions of relaxing.” I smiled meekly, looking at them with a soft expression. “That’s why I was so adamant on coming out tonight. I wanted to have fun with you guys. I didn’t want to talk about my problems; I only wanted to have fun and relax, you know? Just so I could forget about my troubles and be happy again.”

Dawn and Ara covered their mouths in horror after I said this.

“And here we are screwing it up by bringing up all this crap,” Dawn said shamefully.

In the background, Missy and Kina rolled their eyes at their friends’ over-dramatization while Ara’s eyes teemed with resolution.

“Okay, okay. No more!” Ara shouted, picking up a shot glass and raising it in the air.

Following her example, the girls and I picked up our glasses as well. Missy, Kina, and I may not have gotten along, but we all had a mutual love for Dawn and Ara (as well as a mutual love for fun and alcohol). No matter how at odds we were, at that particular point in time, all that mattered was drinking and enjoying our night.