An Ex to Grind in Deadwood (Deadwood Humorous Mystery Book 5) Paperback – September 4, 2014 (25 page)

Unclenching my jaw, I focused on Jerry’s efforts at growing my career. “Okay, let me put my stuff down and we’ll go over everything.”

“Thanks, Violet.” His tone was genuine. In return for that, I’d give today my best shot, but I made no guarantees.

By the time Dickie and Honey strolled into the office after lunch dressed in black, same as yesterday, I had my route memorized and knew my lines by heart. At Jerry’s request, I’d added a dab more mascara and powdered my nose. He’d given me a thumbs up and a “go work your magic.” I was considering some voodoo, starting with a doll that resembled Rex. I just needed to borrow Mona’s brooch with its sharp pin.

Jerry welcomed our special guests with a smile that bridged his earlobes. He nudged me forward. “Violet’s ready to go. We’re waiting for her client to arrive.”

Honey unzipped the black backpack she was carrying and pulled out a hand-held video camera. “Do you mind if we film today, Violet?”

“Film?” I looked at Jerry, my eyes wide. I did not want to be on film with Rex. The camera would see everything, including the murder in my eyes, giving Cooper the evidence he’d need to lock me up for good when Rex went missing. On top of that, if any of today’s events made it to the television screen, my kids might see it. “I’m not sure today is a good day for me to be recorded.”

Honey’s forehead made a deep V.

Jerry stepped forward. “What Violet means is that she isn’t prepared to be taped.”

“Oh,” Honey’s face smoothed. “It’s not for the show. This is just me getting some stuff on film so I can start putting the script together. I’ll use it for my own work. I won’t let anyone else see it.”

I didn’t like this recording business still, but to buck her now would seem childish. “Okay, but I don’t think you should record my client. He hasn’t signed off on anything. I wouldn’t want to make him uncomfortable.”

That was a big honking lie. I wanted to do all kinds of things to make him miserable and then some.

“No problem. I’ll keep the camera focused on the scenery so neither of you end up on film.”

“Thank you.” Now we needed Rex to show up and we could get this disaster … I meant day … started.

I excused myself, slipping into the restroom. My pep talk in the mirror was short and sweet. “You can do this. Don’t kill Rex in front of the camera.”

When I stepped back into the front room, Jerry was introducing Rex to Honey and Dickie, explaining the situation. Still wearing his brown leather bomber jacket over a white collared shirt, black trousers, and dark leather shoes, Rex looked like he’d come from the set of
Top Gun
. Even his blonde hair had that windblown look.

As I listened to Jerry, I crossed my fingers behind my back, willing Rex to opt out of having company while we were checking out places.

The sleazy voyeur looked at me with a leer that made me want to smash a cream pie all over his face. “I’m sure the four of us will have an interesting day together.”

I collected my purse from my drawer. Pulling out my cell phone, I pretended to check my messages. I sent Doc a quick text:
Be out by your car in one minute.

I didn’t wait to see if he replied because Jerry stepped closer. “Make this opening kickoff count, Violet,” he said for my ears only.

I nodded.

He patted me on the shoulder and gave me an “atta girl.”

I wondered what he’d do if I slapped him on the ass and said, “Yes, coach!”

After a few more pleasantries, we all headed out the back door. Ben’s Subaru sparkled in the sunshine. I knew from an earlier conversation with Ben that yesterday Jerry had given him cash to get it detailed for today’s show and tell.

Halfway there, I glanced over and saw Doc pretending to get something out of the trunk of his Camaro.

“Mr. Conner,” I called out, wanting to make sure Doc didn’t confuse Rex for Dickie, who was talking to Jerry as he walked us to the car.

Rex looked over at me, his eyebrows raised above his aviator sunglasses.

I scrambled for something to say. “Nice shades.” Sheesh, that wasn’t very smooth. Wait, maybe it wasn’t so bad. Doc needed to see Rex without his glasses on. “Can I see them for a moment?”

“Right now?” Rex asked.

“Yes.”

“Why?”

Just take off the damned glasses, creep.
“I’m considering buying a new pair and I like the looks of those.”

“They’re expensive,” he said, handing them to me.

What did that mean? Had his spying included my bank account? I was tempted to snap back something about how a lack of child support for the last decade hadn’t helped but closed my lips, pretending to check out the glasses.

“Try them on,” Rex urged.

“Nah, I wouldn’t want to scratch them since they’re so pricey.” I handed them back, pretty sure Doc had seen enough. I know I had after the first ten seconds Rex had walked back into my life.

One more peek at Doc won me a heart-warming smile, along with an eyeful of Doc in his jeans and dark green Henley. I crossed my fingers that vision would hold me over throughout my afternoon in Purgatory.

Jerry saw us off like a proud father watching his kids head off for college. I watched him waving in my rearview mirror.

The first house on Jerry’s route was Lilly Devine’s place. This morning I’d learned that the owner was having trouble selling it, so he was willing to rent. Mona had been the one to tell Jerry it had a reputation for being haunted, so going there was a three-pointer—Jerry’s words, not mine.

I figured it was going to be a waste of time on both accounts. Rex’s tastes had always been more upscale than the Devine house’s décor; and while Dickie claimed to have psychic powers, I was of the school of thought that believed he could talk to dead people when I heard it with my own two ears.

I stayed on script as we toured the house, making sure to give Dickie and Honey plenty of time to film the particular bedroom where Lilly’s boyfriend supposedly had killed her.

After spending some time walking through this house with Doc a couple of months ago, I had a different theory than what the police had suspected at the time of Lilly’s death. In my version of how the events took place, the murder occurred in the basement and the boyfriend dragged her body up to the bedroom. Why? Either for some twisted necrophilic fetish or to make finding her body more dramatic.

While Honey taped, Dickie spouted ideas for some scripts they could do while filming the house. Rex watched from his post holding up the bedroom door frame, his smile bemused. I had a feeling he believed in ghosts about as much as he did in being a good provider for his offspring.

I excused myself from the show prep and headed to the kitchen. Leaning against the sink, I watched the trees sway in the breeze outside the kitchen window. Every now and then a tiny branch took flight across the yard. What I wouldn’t do to take wing after one and escape.

I closed my eyes, practicing some yoga
ohms
in my head.

Remaining civil to Rex was draining my batteries. There were two voices playing in my head at all times—Violet the happy-go-lucky Realtor who enjoyed spinning in circles in a grass-covered field in the Swiss Alps, and Violet the raging mother who wished she’d brought a pocketful of threepenny nails to pulverize between her molars. I could only hold the latter in check for so long.

Maybe Detective Hawke was right about me. I was prone to violence. Rex sure seemed to bring out the beast, making me tug and pull at my chain, practically choking on my collar as I lunged for his throat time and again.

I ohmed that snarling dog vision away and focused on one of the good things in my life at the moment—Doc.

Tonight after the kids were tucked in their beds safe and sound I was going to sit down next to him on the couch and tell him my theory on Ms. Wolff being an albino. If anyone was going to buy into it, he would.

Then the two of us could put our heads together—and maybe some other body parts—after all, it’d been a while since I’d gotten to enjoy all of his anatomy. After I’d finished reacquainting myself with his skin and more, we could try to come up with a way to convey my theory to Cooper that wouldn’t make him want to use me as a punching bag.

“Violet,” Rex said from behind me.

My shoulders tightened at the sound of his voice. “Yes?” I said in my Swiss Alps version voice, since I didn’t know if he were alone or not.

“I bet I can guess what you’re thinking.”

Memories flooded through my thoughts. We’d played this guessing game often while dating. He had always been certain he’d known what was on my mind and had usually been wrong. “What am I thinking?” I played along, opening my eyes in time to see another small piece of tree branch sail past. I highly doubted he’d guess that my thoughts were focused on a dead woman with a shrunken skull.

“You’re wondering if I came to the Black Hills to get back together with you.”

“Hmm.” Not even close. I glanced over my shoulder at him to make sure we were not being filmed.

“I’ll admit,” his smile was predatory as his gaze traveled down my backside. “I do still find you attractive, in spite of the evidence in your hips that you gave birth.”

I gripped the sink, feeling the anger start to bubble in my stomach. I wasn’t going to plant my boot in his mouth. Calamity Jane needed today to go well. I had to take one or more for the team.

“I’ve thought about you often over the years,” he continued, “wondering what could have happened if you hadn’t gotten pregnant.”

Oh, did he mean with
his
freaking kids! My esophagus burned. He’d wondered what could have been? Hell, I wondered what could have happened if the bastard had paid me child support.

“We could’ve really had some fun, you and I.”

“What about Susan?” I let that slip out and then clamped my lips together, the traitors.

“She was a distraction that got out of hand.”

I whirled. “Why’s that? Because my sister was stupid enough to fall in love with you?”

He waved her feelings off like they were child’s play. “There is no such thing as love, only degrees of lust.”

I sure hoped Doc didn’t agree with Rex on that score.

“Since I’m stuck working here for the next several months and you’re still single, I’ve come to the conclusion we should continue where we left off.”

If that was his idea of a romantic proposition, he needed to back the truck up and start with some roses, maybe chocolate, and then shove both up his ass and leave me alone.

“You want to get back together?” I asked, confirming I’d heard him correctly.

“Only on a physical level, of course. No strings. Neither of us need that.”

“What about the offspring you produced?”

“What offspring?” One blonde eyebrow cocked upward. “I distinctly remember signing a paper relinquishing any claim to
your
children.”

“Yes, you did.” I closed in on him, smelling notes of cedar and cardamom in his cologne, as well as the leather from his jacket. I stood on my tiptoes and whispered in his ear. “So why in the fuck are you spying on us from my neighbor’s house?”

He scoffed. “You assume that’s the reason I was staying with Beatrice?”

“It’s a little too much of a coincidence that you just happened to be bunking across the street.”

“I suppose it might seem that way.” He shoved his hands in the pockets of his jacket. “She means nothing, I assure you.”

That probably explained why Miss Geary had attacked his car with a fire poker this morning.

“I wasn’t really spying,” he continued. “I was curious. I wanted to watch you go about your daily life.”

“Violet?” Honey called from the other room.

“I’m in the kitchen,” I returned, all sweet and helpful. Then I poked Rex in the shoulder, glaring holes through to the back of his skull. “We’re not some goddamned ant farm for you to watch through the glass.”

Honey breezed into the kitchen, video camera at her side. Dickie followed, reciting something under his breath.

“Are you two done in the bedroom?” I winced inwardly at how that sounded.

Honey chuckled, obviously catching my
faux pas
. “Yes. Dickie felt the brush of fingers on the back of his neck.”

“There’s a definite presence in that room,” Dickie took out a handkerchief to wipe his brow. “My EMF meter was all over the place.”

So was my ASS meter, thanks to Rex.

“We’d like to come back here again,” Honey said, “and try to capture some stuff on film. That room is hot with paranormal activity.”

Maybe Lilly Devine’s ghost was moving about the place, like Prudence had in the Carhart house.

“Are there any other rooms in this place we should film?” Honey held up her camera.

I really wanted to get this tour over and done with so I could wave Rex goodbye, but I had an idea about the basement. It was time to see if Dickie really was the medium he claimed to be on his show.

“I wanted to show Rex the space downstairs. It’s the nicest part of the house.” Holding open the door that led downstairs, I ushered them in front of me. “Dickie, would you mind hitting the light switch there on your left?”

The fluorescent lights down below flickered and buzzed. Rex held the door for me to follow Honey. The basement was the same as I remembered from the last time I had been down there—tan carpet with white paint on the walls. Bright and normal looking.

When I had been here before, Doc had refused to even walk down the stairs. The scent of whatever was down here had been so strong he’d paled at the top step. Being the dud that I was, I could have slept down here if I hadn’t known any better. Unfortunately, I did, and after too many scary ghost movies in my lifetime, I had to wonder if Lilly Devine was standing right at my shoulder, covered in blood, staring at me.

I hid my unease behind a polite smile, watching Dickie for any signs that he was picking up something else lurking down here. He walked around, his EMF meter out in front of him.

Rex looked around the basement. “This place has potential, but I don’t really want to put the work into it since I’ll likely be gone by next summer.”

I wondered if there were something I could do to speed up his departure.