An Ideal Wife (29 page)

“You might, actually,” I said, biting my lip. “It’s about Hugh.”

“Hugh?” Hugh put his hand up, and Max suddenly noticed him standing behind Giles. “Hugh. What the hell are you doing here?” he asked, his voice rising.

“He came to see me,” I said, looking at Max tentatively. “He …” I took a deep breath. “Last year, when Mum said that she’d slept with Hugh, that she’d told him about Chester’s business plans, she was lying. For me.”

Max looked as if he’d been punched in the stomach. “You slept with Hugh?”

“No,” I said. “I didn’t. But I did kiss him. I was drunk. I thought you were having an affair. And I kissed him. And—”

“And it was my fault,” Hugh said suddenly. “I took advantage of her, Max, and I’ve been doing it ever since.”

“What do you mean?” Max asked levelly.

“He’s been asking her for money,” Mum said. “Little weasel.”

“He’s been what?” Max’s face darkened, and he walked toward Hugh. “You have been extorting money from my wife?”

“No. I mean yes, but … It’s not like that,” Hugh said, stepping backward. “Jess, tell him. Please.”

“But you have,” I said, as Max hobbled toward Hugh angrily.

“Not my nose,” Hugh wailed, stepping back in alarm. “Not my bloody nose again.”

“It’ll be more than your nose if I have anything to do with it,” Max said angrily, grabbing Hugh by the shoulders. “How dare you? How bloody dare you?”

Chester pulled Max off, and Giles grabbed Hugh. “Easy there,” Chester said. “Come on, Max, he isn’t worth it. Although I have to say, I’d like to punch him myself after all the damage he’s done.”

Max was staring at Hugh like a bullfighter staring down his bull. “Don’t you ever come near either of us again,” he said. “Ever. Do you understand?”

“Fine,” Hugh whimpered. “I didn’t want to, anyway. I only came to ask Jess for a favor.”

“And I’ve told you,” I said. “I’ve given all my money away, so there’s no point in asking anymore.”

“Not that kind of favor,” Hugh said unhappily. “No one ever listens. I came here because I wanted a real favor, not money.”

I looked at him suspiciously. “What kind of favor?”

Hugh sighed. “I was hoping you’d introduce me to your friend Giles.”

“Me?” Giles asked, his eyes widening.

“Yes, you,” Hugh said, looking down in embarrassment. “I … well, I’d seen you around, and someone said you were friends with Jess here, and … Look, it’s no big deal.”

“No big deal?” I asked. “Hugh, you came all the way here. To Wiltshire.”

“Only because you left a message telling me not to blackmail you anymore. I didn’t want you telling Giles. That was the other favor I was going to ask you. I’ve turned over a new leaf, you see. I read this book by Jerome D. Rutter, and it really spoke to me. I’ve decided to set myself up as a self-employed life coach. That’s why I wanted to borrow some money. To get things started. I’ve already got three clients—I’ll be able to pay you back in a couple of months.”

I frowned. “You mean you honestly were just borrowing the money?”

“Yes, I was,” Hugh said miserably. “And now my nose is broken and Giles here obviously thinks I’m the lowest of the low, which I was, I admit, but … but …” He sniffed loudly, and Giles, who was still holding him back from Max, gave a shrug.

“But you’ve changed, right?”

“Right,” Hugh said quietly.

Giles looked at me awkwardly, then shook his head. “I couldn’t,” he said. “Jessica is my friend.”

“You can if you want,” I said, with a little smile.

“Really?” Giles’s eyes lit up. “I mean, really?” he said, trying to sound less excited this time. “Well, maybe one date, then. You know, see how it goes.”

“Did I hear someone say Jerome D. Rutter?” We all turned to see Eric and Caroline emerging from the sitting room. Max grinned at them.

“So you found the place, then?” he asked.

Caroline grinned back. “You’re out of bed!” she said. “Oh, you look so much better.”

“That’s Jess’s doing,” Max said, hobbling toward me and putting an arm around me. “I was missing my perfect wife.”

“Not perfect,” I corrected. “Quite flawed, actually.”

“That makes two of us,” Max insisted.

“Oh, include me in that,” Chester said wholeheartedly. “Jeez,
I’m as flawed as they come. I’m a workaholic. Although you’re going to keep that in check, Ivana, right?”

Ivana nodded firmly. “I heff way of meking you do what you’re told,” she said, raising an eyebrow. Then she turned to Sean with a shrug. “End me, mebe I em not so perfect mother. I nid more. I nid more than just bebe.”

“Hey, that’s not a flaw,” Sean said with a sigh. “It’s who you are. It’s a good thing. And I should have known it, too. I knew you were independent, and I tried to turn you into something you’re not. I’m the one who’s flawed.”

“Hey, if we’re talking flaws, I win hands down,” said Dad, who was still standing in the doorway. “I’ve never held on to a job in my life. Or held on to anything, for that matter.”

“Oh, bully for you,” Helen said. “I’ve never held on to a relationship. I chase a man until he commits, and when he does, I get bored. I couldn’t be more flawed.”

“I’m a terrible auditor,” Eric put in, shaking his head sadly. “And I’ve broken the code of auditors, too. Fraternizing with clients. Unforgivable.”

I looked at him curiously. “Is that you talking or Eric the auditor talking?”

He grinned. “Oh, I was back in character,” he said. “But I’m flawed, too. I mean, I’m out of work and in love with someone who’s way out of my league.”

“You are?” Caroline said, looking devastated. “Who?”

“You, dummy,” he said sheepishly.

“Oh, Eric,” she gushed, throwing her arms around him. “I’m not out of your league at all. I’m very flawed, too.”

“You are so not flawed,” I said, rolling my eyes.

“I am, too,” she said, swinging round. “Sometimes I don’t separate my recycling properly. And I haven’t cleaned under my sofa in about a year.”

The two not-Russian-Mafia men looked at each other guiltily. “We’re not the best debt collectors, either, if we’re honest,” one of them said.

The other one nodded. “We wouldn’t really have killed you, Lawrence. We’re good with the threats—”

“But not the follow-through,” the first one cut in sadly.

“So none of us is ideal?” I asked.

We all looked at Mum, who held her head up defiantly. Then she sighed. “Oh, okay, if I must. I suppose I’m not entirely perfect.”

“You’re not?” Chester grinned. “Tell me, my angel, what faults could you possibly have?”

“I’m sometimes too much of a perfectionist,” Mum said airily, then looked down. “And maybe I can be a little on the demanding side.”

“I wouldn’t have it any other way,” Chester said warmly. “You demand away.”

“So we’re okay?” I asked Max hopefully. “You forgive me?”

“There’s nothing to forgive,” he said quietly. “You are the sweetest, most wonderfully not-quite-perfect girl in the whole wide world.”

“Even though we’re going to fail the audit?” I asked tentatively.

Max chuckled. “Chester, I’m afraid we might have failed your audit. Fact is, we’re a good company—in my view, a great one. But we’re not perfect, so you’re going to have to settle for imperfect if you want to work with us.”

“
If
he wants to work with us?” I whispered incredulously. “This is Chester we’re talking about. Our number-one client.”

Max shrugged. “And I have enough confidence in us to stand up and speak my mind,” he said into my ear. “So, what do you say, Chester?” he continued, more loudly.

“I say,” Chester said thoughtfully, “that we’re lucky to have
such a committed and talented partner in Milton Advertising. And that I’m beginning to realize that sometimes our flaws are what make us great.”

“And the audits are pretty much a load of old hooey,” Eric said with a shrug.

“That, too.” Chester grinned. “Although I will be wanting my money back. Obviously.”

“Whatever,” Eric said. “I’m resigning tomorrow, anyway. Take it up with Josh.”

“So we’re all good?” Chester asked. “Everything’s okay?”

“Everything’s perfect,” I said happily. “Imperfectly perfect.”