Chapter 1
“I can't ever trust you again,” Angelina Preston said, sliding divorce papers across the table. “It's over, Greg, just sign them.”
She watched her husband sit back and slump in his chair. “Butâ” he began.
“Don't say it.” Angelina waved a hand to cut him off. “It won't matter.”
“But I do,” Greg continued, “I love you. I want to work this out.”
Their waitress crept past them. Angelina and Greg's menus were still open, so she continued to the next table. Angelina supposed she'd assumed they still weren't ready to order. Little did she know if any eating was going to happen, Greg would be doing it by himself. She wasn't planning to stay around long enough to dine. She'd just wanted to meet in a public place so she could end the conversation on her terms, and so she wouldn't be weak.
“Angelina, are you listening to me?” Greg asked. The velvety tenor of his voice pulled her from her thoughts. “I feel like this is more about Samaria than it is about me,” he said, pushing the papers back in her direction. “If it hadn't been herâ”
“It'd still be over.”
“I don't believe that.”
“Why, because I put up with it before?” Angelina's mind went back to the other affair, an anesthesiologist. She remembered the pain in her heart, the months it took to stop crying, and what it took to rebuild trust. But nothing had compared to way she felt when she'd found out about Samaria. She'd known there'd been another woman, but not her ... friend. She closed her eyes to the pain that was still fresh. She then reopened them and met the sad gaze of her husband; soon to be ex-husband. Angelina cut her eyes away from him before his good-looking-ness melted her resolve.
Greg Preston was the most handsome man she'd ever known in her life, better looking than the actors on television. Skin the color of a cocoa bean and hazel eyes that were so sharp in contrast to his complexion that it gave him an exotic look, almost animalistic; like a wolf dipped in chocolate. His looks were the gift of a Creole mother and a dark-skinned Cuban father.
“Talk to me, Lena,” he pleaded. It was so unlike Greg to beg for anything. He'd been begging for months. “Punish me, but don't do this. Please, can't you try?”
Angelina released a plume of air from her lungs and forced Samaria's face from her mind. “I wanted to work it out before,” she said. “I wanted a baby. I was determined to have one, so I thought if I just put up with you no matter what, I'd eventually get pregnant again. But now, I realize I've been a fool.” She shifted her eyes away from him. “For years, I'd been a fool.”
“So are you saying you haven't loved me for a long time?”
“No. That's not what I'm saying. I'm saying I compromised because I wanted a baby, but now I have Katrice, and there's no need to settle.”
“So you do still love me?”
“Greg,” she said sharply, “what part of âthat doesn't matter' don't you understand?”
“Lena, it's not like I knew who she was.” He leaned forward, raised his voice a little, and they both looked to the left and right to see if they'd drawn an audience.
True, Greg had not known that Samaria Jacobs, the woman he was sleeping with, was the same woman his wife had befriended and had known as Rae Burns. Greg had not known his mistress was so devious that she'd joined Angelina's church and wormed her way into her life, all with the intention of gleaning enough inside information to wreak havoc on their marriage. But it didn't matter, she'd told herself the first affair was the last affair, and she was standing on that, no matter how much he begged, no matter what her heart said. It was time to use her head.
“But what about my will?” She ignored the voice in her head and slid the papers that had now become a hot potato back across the table.
Greg lowered his head. When he raised his eyes, unshed tears shown in them. “I knowâI know I was wrong, but I thoughtâI thought Christians were supposed to forgive.”
It was she who sat back now. Angelina was shocked he'd pulled the Christian card on her. Steam rose in her belly and annoyance that he'd hit a nerve. She'd wrestled with the same thought all week; the thought or the voice that entered her head when she accepted the papers from her attorney.
“Are you sure you don't want me to just have these served?” Mavis Benchly, one of the top divorce lawyers in Atlanta, had asked as she peered suspiciously over her glasses.
“No,” Angelina had answered. “He's asked to meet with me this week, so I'll just give them to him myself.”
“Don't do it.” There was the Holy Spirit again. Angelina felt an uneasy burst of perspiration, and her breath caught in her throat for a moment. But she shook her head, just as she was doing now. She didn't want to hear what that voice was asking her to do.
“Forgive?” Her hand felt unsteady. She returned the glass to the table. “What makes you think I haven't forgiven you?”
Greg's face clouded over with confusion. He didn't really know anything about the doctrine of forgiveness, and he'd just played himself.
“Then if you forgive me, why this?” He let his eyes fall on the papers for a second, and then returned his heated stare to hers.
“Because forgiveness doesn't always mean things will work out the way you want them to. Forgiving doesn't mean a happy ending.” Angelina raised her glass and took another sip of water. Her stomach felt like it was in knots, and the same bead of perspiration was forming over her lip.
“I can read you. You still love me.”
Angelina hated that those words were true. She hated that she wanted nothing more than to reach for his hand, let him touch her and take her home and make love to her again. She was such a fool for this man. And five months of celibacy wasn't wearing well, not after thirteen years of marriage. She wanted ... she needed. No, be strong. You have to end this. “I want a divorce,” she said, looking him squarely in the eyes, praying her waning confidence didn't allow him to read her.
Greg threw his head back and touched the papers as if her final declaration had made them real. He picked them up for a few seconds and lowered them to the table. He did not meet her gaze when he said, “I need my attorney to look at them.”
“I'm not asking you for anything.”
That statement got his head up. “What does that mean?”
“I just want the house, and I'm probably going to sell it and buy something smaller.”
“That's ridiculous,” Greg replied. “I will not agree to give you nothing.”
“I thought it would be easier that way. Faster and I'm willing to do anythingâ”
“To get free of me.” He raised his hand and washed his face. “I won't let you walk away without anything. It wouldn't be fair.”
Angelina thought of Katrice, her new daughter or soon to be daughter, once the final hearing regarding the child's mother's parental rights had been held. They'd be severed, and then Angelina would be free to adopt her. Having the extra money in the bank would look good on her adoption application, and she could use all the pluses she could find with the divorce pending. Single parents adopted children all the time, but having a strong financial situation could help the application.
“Can you see Les right away?” she asked, knowing he'd give them to his frat brother, who for many years had been their personal attorney.
Greg put the papers inside the manila envelope Angelina had delivered them in. “In a rush?” He closed the metal clasp and let out a long sigh.
“Not really, but it's a good time to put the house on the market,” she replied. “And well, I know someone who's interested in buying.”
Greg looked down. At what, Angelina had no idea. He seemed to be concentrating hard. His lips were a thin angry line and his eye brows were furrowed, but even through his angry veneer she could see desperation.
“Angelinaâ”
“Save your breath.” She stood. “I'm not going to change my mind.” She picked up her handbag. “Just have Les send them to my attorney, and please, come get the rest of your things from the house. They're in the garage.” Angelina turned on her heels. She couldn't bring herself to say good-bye, so she didn't. The emotional rollercoaster in her spirit moved her through the restaurant. Once on the street, she did a slow jog to the entrance of the garage and impatiently tapped her foot as she waited for the parking valet. Not wanting to wait even a second for change, she over-tipped him, slid behind the wheel, and gunned the gas. Angelina was running, and she didn't know if it were from her husband, herself, or her God.