An Inconvenient Love (Crimson Romance) (20 page)

“James, will you stay with your mum while I take Sophia to the flat? Sarah probably has to get back to the children now, too.” Her father stood up, unfolding his tall frame with effort. Sophia was shocked at how old he appeared.

“Sleep well, Mum. I’ll be back to see you in a few hours.” She kissed her mother on the cheek. Her heart tugged as she couldn’t remember the last time she’d done that.

They collected Olivia from the waiting room before heading back to the flat. Sarah went off to her own home to look after her children. Standing in front of the building she had grown up in, Sophia suppressed a shudder. She wished Luca was there with her to dispel the bad memories—to put his arms around her and give her strength. Right now it didn’t matter whether he loved her or not. She needed him, unconditionally.

“Dad, why don’t you go up? I’m going to show Olivia where the station is.” She really wanted to phone Luca but didn’t think now was the time to tell her father about him. Charlie looked like he was about to collapse under the weight of his grief, and she waited till he entered the building before walking with Olivia around the corner.

“I’ll come by the hospital tomorrow after work,” Olivia said, hugging her. “Unless you call me first. Are you sure you want to stay here? You can sleep at my place.”

“I’d better stay here. My dad needs me. James is going to do the overnight shift at the hospital tonight so Dad will be all alone. I’m going to call Luca and then I’ll go in. See you tomorrow. Oh, and Olivia, you are the best.” Sophia knew she didn’t need to say anything else.

“I’m only a phone call away.” They hugged again and then Olivia strode off in the direction of the station.

Sophia phoned Luca, closing her eyes as he answered, so his deep voice could envelope her. “I’ll call you as soon as … well, I’ll call you if the situation changes. Otherwise I’ll speak with you again tomorrow evening,” she finished off. She wanted to end the call saying “I love you,” but it wouldn’t be right to say it for the first time over the phone.

If there was one thing seeing her mother dying had taught her, it was that life was too short not to tell the important people in your life how you felt. Even if it was something they thought they didn’t want. As soon as she got back to Italy, she was going to tell Luca she loved him.

She pulled and then pushed the front door of the building rather than buzz up to the flat. Seven years and the council still hadn’t fixed the major flaw in the security. With each step she recited the name of a flower in Italian, trying to hold back the memories. The flat door was unlocked, and she closed her eyes and took a deep breath as she stepped across the threshold. She hadn’t been inside since the morning she’d left for school and never came home.

The flat was an absolute tip. Used dishes covered every level surface. Clothes were piled haphazardly, making it impossible to tell the dirty from the clean. She changed into jeans and a t-shirt and set about getting the place sorted. At least she wouldn’t have too much time to think if she were busy.

Her father looked up once or twice as she moved around the room, gathering the plates and endless cups of half-drunk tea. There wasn’t much in the fridge, but using her newly learned cooking skills, she managed to put together a decent meal.

“Thanks.” Her father looked surprised at the plate she handed to him. “Wow, this looks and smells really good.” He ate hungrily. “I’ve been living on hospital food and canned beans for the past week.”

They finished the meal in silence, and she went back to setting the flat in order. At six o’clock they made a brief visit to the hospital to relieve James while he went to get something to eat. Janice never woke up while they were there.

“They had to up her morphine to deal with the pain,” James informed them on his return. “The doctor said she would probably be unconscious most of the time now.”

“Call us if she wakes and wants to see us,” Sophia said as they left, giving James a hug. He looked so despondent, the way she’d felt for months after Ben had died.

She returned to the flat with her father and finished the cleaning. Her whole body ached from the effort to fight off the memories. But it didn’t compare with the pain of missing Luca. She tossed and turned for an hour before finally falling into a disturbed sleep in her old bed.

• • •

Sophia woke early the next morning, and after a quick breakfast of tea and toast made her way to the hospital. She’d left a note for her father telling him where she’d gone. He’d looked so tired the night before, she didn’t have the heart to wake him. Besides, she could use a little time on her own.

“James, why don’t you go home and get some proper rest? I’ll sit with her now.”

James looked up bleary eyed at her and nodded his assent. “She hasn’t woken up. Call if there’s any change. I’ll be back in a few hours.”

She sat beside her dying mother, holding her hand. It was hard to equate the frail woman in the bed with her memories. Although her mother had been a mere shadow in her life, she’d always been a vivacious, beautiful woman and that was how Sophia tried to remember her.

If it were Sophia lying in the bed, her last hours ebbing away, how would she want to be remembered? As a great interior designer, having made homes stylish across northern Italy? Or as a wonderful wife, a loving mother, the nucleus who held a family together? The answer was obvious.

It was almost noon before the rest of the family arrived, en masse. Her father appeared more rested and was freshly shaven. Sarah still looked on the verge of tears, but managed a watery smile for Sophia.

“Sorry it took me so long. I had to wait for my boyfriend to come and look after the children. He’s a policeman and was on night shift,” Sarah added, almost triumphantly.

“How did you meet a policeman?” James had told her that Sarah finally had a decent boyfriend, and she was interested to learn more about him.

“His name is Andrew, and he came to arrest my previous boyfriend, baby Rose’s father. Andrew was so sweet. He came back the next day to see if I was okay, and the day after that. When he had his first day off, he came and took the children to the park with me. He loves them and they love him. And before you ask, we’re not living together. He says I’ve had enough men treat me badly; he wants to show me what a gentleman is like.”

“He sounds wonderful. I look forward to meeting him,” Sophia said, genuinely pleased for her sister. In some ways, Sarah was the stronger one. Despite all the disappointments and heartbreaks, her sister had never lost faith in love. Maybe it was time Sophia trusted it, too.

Before she worked out how to get her business-first husband to love her, the hospital room door was thrust aside and two huge men strode into the room. It took a moment for Sophia to recognize the first one as her brother, Paul. His blonde hair was cut so short he looked bald, and his blue eyes were hard and filled with hate. He scanned the room as if looking for a fight. Catching sight of her, his face softened. When he smiled, she saw a hint of her brother as he’d been, before.

The other man checked out the room and its occupants, looking out the window and into the small attached toilet. He appeared satisfied that escape was impossible, so went to stand out in the hall in front of the door. The back of his jacket was emblazoned with the words HM Prison Service.

James leaned over his mother and spoke into her ear. “Mum, Paul is here to see you. Please wake up.”

After what seemed an eternity, Janice found the strength to open her eyes. “All my babies here, except poor Ben. Thank you. I love you all.” Her voice was a whisper but she managed to keep her eyes open while each of them kissed her and told her they loved her. Then they fluttered closed.

Sarah was crying softly and James looked on the point of tears. Sophia wanted to cry, but the sadness she felt was more for the loss of any future relationship with her mother. The woman in the bed was a stranger to her.

Her father sat on one side of the bed with Sarah and James on the other. She and Paul stood at the end, watching their mother’s breathing become more erratic. When one short, shallow breath wasn’t followed by any others, Paul took her hand and squeezed it lightly. Sarah began to cry in earnest, and James held her in his arms trying to comfort her. Her father still held her mother’s hand, whispering over and over that he loved her.

“I’ll let the nurses know,” Sophia said after a couple of minutes. “I also have a couple of calls to make so I’ll be back in ten minutes or so.” She so desperately needed to hear Luca’s voice, it was frightening.

“I’ll come with you,” Paul added, his soft tone at odds with his hard man persona. “I need a smoke.”

They stopped by the nurses’ station and then made their way outside. Paul’s guard followed behind them.

“I wanted to say sorry to you,” they both began at once.

“Sorry! What do you have to apologize for?” Paul asked, surprised. “I’m the one who ruined your life.”

“Oh, Paul, you didn’t ruin it. You just redirected it. I want to apologize for grassing on you and then never coming to visit you in prison. I’m sorry, I was a coward.” She looked up at him, wanting, needing his forgiveness.

Paul hugged her until the prison guard gruffly told him to move away. “Even without your testimony, I would still have been convicted. I left enough evidence behind … I guess maybe in a way I knew I deserved to be caught. I got in way over my head and was terrified. I didn’t know where to turn. I was trying to leave the gang when Rick told me the only way out was to be dead. I was just quicker than him with the knife. Otherwise I’d have been the one lying on the pavement. Then when I turned around and saw that kid watching, I panicked. I was proud of you; you had the courage to stand up for what was right. When I heard what had happened at school, I tried to escape so I could teach those girls a lesson, but I got caught and put in solitary.”

“I didn’t know. But I wouldn’t have wanted you to take revenge. It was horrific at the time, but it made me start a new life, and now I’m happy. I have a wonderful husband and a fabulous life in Italy.”

“You’re married? No one told me.”

“No one knows. James only found out when he called to tell me about Mum.” Her voice caught a bit. “I asked him not to say anything. I didn’t want to upset her in her last hours. I’ll tell Dad and Sarah tonight. Luca, my husband, will come over for the funeral. Do you think they’ll let you out to attend?”

“I think so, as long as I behave myself. Of course I’ll have my shadow with me.” He indicated over his shoulder at the guard behind.

Paul lit the cigarette the guard passed him and took deep drags while Sophia called Luca.

“He says he’ll be on the next flight out and come straight to the flat. I guess you have to go back soon?”

“Yeah, five minutes or so. The guard’s already called for the transport,” Paul said.

“No matter how bleak it gets inside, Paul, I want you to know that I never stopped loving you and I never stopped being glad you were my older brother. I hope that when you get out we can go back to that relationship. I don’t want to lose you, too.” Sophia wiped an errant tear from her cheek and plastered on a brave smile.

“I’m not sure your husband will want you hanging out with a convicted killer.”

“You’re my brother. Nothing else matters.”

The prison van drew up in front and the guard ushered Paul into the back. He waved at her with a wry smile before the doors slammed shut.

Her heart ached for her brother going back into incarceration. But she felt lighter than she had in weeks, knowing what she was going to do about her immediate future.

Luca stepped out of the cab and stared up at the decrepit brown building in front of him—Sophia’s childhood home. Even if he hadn’t known her troubled past, he’d still have found her former residence depressing. It couldn’t have been easy for her to come back here, and now she’d lost her mother, he wanted to hold and comfort her. Tell her he loved her.

His mobile phone vibrated on his belt, but he ignored it. Chet had not been happy that he’d left everything to fly to London, saying that if he was going to put his personal life first, maybe he wasn’t the man to oversee the project. Luca could lose the job. But it was nothing in comparison to the possibility of losing Sophia. In her last phone call, when she’d told him of her mother’s passing, she’d sounded so distant, like she was closing all the walls around her, letting no one in.

As he strode toward the front door, a female voice called out, “Luca?”

Swiveling, he spied Olivia hurrying toward him. Although he was anxious to see Sophia as soon as possible, he couldn’t be rude to her best friend, so he waited for her to reach the door.

“I thought it was you, but I wasn’t sure from the back. Wow, you got here quick from Italy,” she greeted him.

“I got on the first flight after Sophia called.” His bag had already been packed and sitting beside his desk, waiting for her call. Waiting for her to summon him to her side where he should have been all along.

Olivia pulled a key out of her pocket and unlocked the outside door and led him toward the stairs. “You don’t mind if we walk up, do you? The lifts in these buildings are disgusting.”

“No, I have been sitting all day; a little exercise would be good.” If he were alone he’d take the stairs two at a time, but with Olivia beside him he restrained himself and kept to her pace.

“I know it’s not my place, but Sophia is my best friend … ”

Was she going to tell him that Sophia needed to live her own life, have her own dream? That to make her come live with him in the little cottage would destroy her bit by bit? Olivia could save her breath, because he’d already worked that out in the two sleepless nights he’d spent alone. He couldn’t watch her die a little more every day—withdraw from him until she was just a shell of herself. But neither could he live apart from her, only see her on weekends. It was the toughest decision he’d ever made, but he knew now what he was going to do. Sophia deserved to be the first to hear it.

“You know her better than anyone. I would appreciate your insight into how I can help her.” At least his voice remained calm while his heart rate accelerated.