An Inner Fire (20 page)

Hollie rushed Elaine with her head down like a charging bull. Hollie’s obvious intention was to plough into the woman and knock her off balance.

Grayce watched Elaine’s face. Nothing registered but the intensity of her focus. Hollie ran toward the woman, her ponytail whipping. Grayce saw a flash of fear move across Elaine’s face. The instructor was mastering her own fears. Old fears Grayce surmised. Elaine was taking on other’s anger. By diffusing their rage, she healed herself and others.

In seconds, Hollie was flipped to the ground. Her loud exhalation upon impact with the mat echoed in the cavernous space. Grayce’s stomach and heart thumped with the sound and sight of Hollie on the ground.

Hollie stood quickly, her ponytail had relocated itself to a spot above her left ear and her oversized T-shirt twisted. Hollie’s eyes were dark. She walked to the corner and put her ponytail back on the top of her head before she moved toward Elaine again.

Hollie circled Elaine, her back hunched, ready to do damage. Elaine’s face and body remained relaxed.

Grayce couldn’t guess Hollie’s next move but she worried about what her street fighting repertoire might include. Hollie rushed Elaine for the second time, with her arm flexed and hand fisted. Elaine pushed Hollie back to the mat in one motion, as if batting at a pesky mosquito.

Each time Hollie hit the mat, Grayce’s stomach did somersaults and dives, dropping to the back of her knees as if she got flipped and slammed.

Hollie jumped up and charged again with her arms in the same attack position as Mary had demonstrated. Elaine easily deflected Hollie’s raised arm by grabbing it at the wrist and taking Hollie to the ground. The two women continued to circle. Hollie tried to change her timing and slow her charges, but Elaine continued to anticipate and redirect each motion.

Hollie’s white T-shirt stuck to her back. It was obvious after watching this demonstration that Hollie had survived her childhood by fearless tenacity.

Hollie was flipped on her back again. The silence in the room was shattered with Hollie’s shout and burst of laughter. “Uncle, Uncle.”

Elaine smiled widely, the first genuine of the day. She extended her hand to Hollie. “You’ll make a good aikido student. You have agility, strength and focus.”

Hollie’s need to decimate Elaine was ignored.

The two women came toward Grayce. Hollie had just found a way to heal herself, like Elaine.

The purpose of the visit was a reminder, a serendipitous instant of the universe. Grayce needed to trust, trust her intuition, and trust Cassie for back up. She would return to her practice of aikido, but not in this studio. Her practice would be solitary, in the silence of her house, her energy focused on stopping a scarred enemy who had attacked Davis and poisoned Mitzi.

They drove back to Fremont. Grayce listened to Hollie’s enthusiastic description of Elaine’s moves. “When I get good, I’m going to challenge James to a match. I would love to flip him.”

“I’m not sure James will be willing to do matches. I don’t think he does karate with people he likes.”

“I can get him mad enough to want to take me on.” The young woman wasn’t exactly on the path to spiritual enlightenment yet.

“I wasn’t planning on sharing today’s excursion with James or Davis.”

Grayce could feel Hollie’s stare.

“Why don’t you want them to know?”

“James would make too many jokes and Davis would ask too many questions.”

“No problem. It will make it more of a surprise when I flip James.”

“You definitely would surprise James.” She could imagine James’ response to Hollie trying to take him down. It actually might be pretty funny.

“Men don’t like it when women are powerful. I think Elaine does aikido to feel powerful.” Hollie said.

And just like back in the studio, Grayce’s stomach dropped and dove. Hollie had recognized Elaine’s anger. Grayce had learned from treating the abused how adept they were in reading the moods of those entrusted with their care. It was a key to their survival.

“That is quite insightful, Hollie. I do believe Elaine is working on whatever happened to her in her past.”

Grayce waited to hear the familiar cracking of the knuckles.

“I’m going to get as good as she is. And Boss, you don’t need to worry about doing aikido. I’ll take care of you.”

Did this mean Hollie would be giving up her video games for real life action?

“Thanks, Hollie. I appreciate it.” She wasn’t about to reveal to her assistant that danger was grinding closer each day, and she believed someone was stalking her. If Hollie got a whiff of a threat, she would never leave Grayce alone. The young woman already acted like her personal body guard.

She couldn’t shake the feeling that the man with the scar loomed somewhere, waiting. But she did not confide in Hollie. How could she tell anyone that she was preparing herself against a man with a scar from a vision she had received from a poodle?

Chapter Thirty-One

He smiled, then Grayce did.

She once told Dr. Zao that his gentle smile resembled the Dalai Lama’s. He chuckled, the light sound floating on the air, like the sweet music of the wind chime in her garden.

“Tea?”

“Yes, please.”

He poured from a plain brown ceramic tea pot. The ritual was the same. Time paused when she visited her mentor. Her fears and worries dissipated like the steam from the tea pot. “How are you?” He was always polite.

He really didn’t need to ask. He already knew. His kindness enveloped her like a soothing balm.

“I’ve been having a nightmare, the same nightmare. Someone is chasing me in a garden. It started with a new patient. During her treatments I have the most overpowering sensations—I go to a fearful place. When I treat her, waves of hostility overcome me. Her chi is low; her lung points sticky. I attempt to balance her kidney, liver and lung points. Instead of relaxing with treatment, she gets agitated.” Even to her own ears, her words sounded rushed, harsh, too intense.

She was leaning forward as she spoke, but now she sat back and took a deep breath.

He sat still in his wooden chair. “Yes?”

“During her last treatment, when I closed my eyes to focus, I had a vision of a man with a long twisted scar on his arm.” She took another deep breath. “I don’t understand what is happening to me.”

Another gentle smile.

“Mitzi has been injured twice. I first thought I was feeling her fear through my nightmares.” Her voice trembled. “But I’ve never had visions before.”

“You have a great connection with this dog.” Dr. Zao smiled.

“It’s different than any other patient. I can’t treat Mitzi’s fear. Instead, I’m taking it on, as if I’m always spinning with dark feelings when she’s near me. I’ve tried to explain my worries to her owner. He misunderstood. He believes the strong feelings are the attraction between us.”

She felt her face flush, the heat moving across her cheeks. Dr. Z, as she affectionately called her mentor, had known her since college when she first became interested in acupuncture. He was the only person who understood the extent of her gifts, and the connection with her sister.

She owed so much to Dr. Z. He had saved her in many ways. He helped her accept the “yin and yang of Grayce Walters” as he liked to tease her. She had begun to accept that a scientist could also have a strong bond with a deceased person and have gifts that science didn’t accept. He never saw any discrepancy in her warring sides. He saw only her goodness. He appreciated the goodness in everyone.

He nodded. Dr. Z never asked prodding questions. He let you wander until your mind became so tired you would eventually get to the heart of the matter and finally acknowledge the real problem.

“So her owner is a good man, yes?”

No pretending with Dr. Z. “Yes, I like him a lot.” It was true. She had let her heart get involved. “He’s a fire investigator. He holds deep pain. I can feel it. When I’ve tried to talk to him, he becomes angry, resistant.”

Another nod from her wizened mentor. She didn’t know Dr. Z’s age, but she thought of him as young and old at the same time.

“Getting too close to his pain, yes?”

It was always like this with Dr. Z—just one comment opening a world of understanding.

“Yes.”

“Do you know what causes so much pain and darkness in this man and his dog?”

“He grieves the loss of his mother as a child, and the recent loss of his father.” She looked into Dr. Z’s black eyes.

“It is hard, Grayce, yes? You want to solve other’s problems.”

“I’ve never encountered anyone I couldn’t help.” Davis and Mitzi were the exception. “Davis is in the middle of a fire investigation. I believe someone wants to harm him. Mitzi knows and is trying to tell me.”

Compassion and concern flickered across his face. Dr. Z looked like he was sifting through all the words and delving deep into her heart.

He knew what her real fear was, why she was here today. To admit out loud that a poodle had given her a vision seemed delusional. She knew full well that science didn’t support such phenomena.

“Someone tried to poison Mitzi by feeding her chocolate. It was during the treatment, after the poisoning, when I saw visions of a black snake, but further in the treatment I realized it was a puckered scar on a man’s arm.” Grayce leaned back in her chair. “I can’t make sense of what’s happening.”

He was silent. Dr. Z never rushed his thoughts or speech. The silence lengthened.

Grayce bristled. “Should I change my treatment?” She wanted a direct answer, an easy solution. She had never felt irritated with Dr. Z.

“Maybe your skills are changing, expanding.”

“My skills aren’t working. I’m having nightmares and now visions.”

“Mitzi was close to death, open to a different consciousness, yes.”

She could only nod her head.

“Is it possible some barriers were unlocked by Mitzi’s altered state? Maybe new channels of understanding were released for you?” Dr. Z didn’t expect her to answer; his questions were always rhetorical. “You are a great empath. You’ve always been able to feel other creatures’ suffering and pain. Is it so hard for you to imagine you might be able to experience their thoughts?”

She sat upright. It wasn’t possible. It was too absurd. She never believed in the charlatans who could communicate with an animal over the phone. She wasn’t a quack.

Dr. Z shook his head. “So much fear for you?”

It always eased her burden when Dr. Z labeled her worries. The words spoken aloud lost their potency, like a nightmare remembered in the morning,

She was leaning forward again in her chair “But how is it possible?”

“What is the difference when you see pictures in your dreams and see Mitzi’s pictures?”

She let the thought settle, trying to understand words that were more than words—a wisdom that defied logic.

“It sounds like you’ve opened your heart to this dog.” Dr. Z pressed his hand to his chest. “And this man.”

Her heart sped. Heat moved through her body, pooling in her face and chest. She barely acknowledged her feelings for Davis. She was beginning to realize the truth in Dr. Z’s words.

“Dogs protect their owners, yes? Mitzi almost died and still wants to protect her owner. How could she do this?” He leaned toward her, closing the space between them. His black eyes focused on her, seeming to see beyond her, looking into her soul. “You’ve always told me that dogs’ hearts are open and can identify people who care about them, who need comforting. Is it so outlandish that Mitzi knows you care about her and Davis?”

“She knows. But that doesn’t mean I can read her thoughts. I care a great deal about many animals, but I’ve never been able to share their thoughts.” The heat moved to the top of her ears. Her voice got louder. “I saw Mitzi’s thoughts. A man with a scar on his arm.”

Dr. Z waited. He was really good at waiting.

“Did I really read Mitzi’s thoughts?”

Again, Dr. Z didn’t reply.

“Are you able to see other’s thoughts?” She had barely uttered the words when the realization struck her. Dr. Z could see others’ thoughts.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to pry.” Her mind reeled.

He sat back in his chair, his posture open, accepting. “Does knowing of my abilities change yours?” He never raised his voice, but somehow she always knew when he was using his quiet force to make her look more closely.

“No.”

“We all have different gifts. It’s our own journey to discover them.” He smiled. “I will treat you, yes? It’s been a long time. It will help your mind to slow down, calm your fear.”

Grayce left the little house in Ravenna. She found herself sitting in her car, but didn’t remember the one block walk to her car. Her entire being was still in another space, a space that sparkled with bright light, her heart chakra open, resonating with awareness.

Grayce didn’t know how long she sat in her car, but finally, she turned the key in the ignition. It was dangerous for her to drive when she was still woozy from acupuncture, but she had to get back to her office. Between her trips to LA and her investigation, she had a lot to catch up on. At least at this time of night, the office would be empty. She needed the silent time and space to digest Dr. Z’s wisdom, his treatment.