An Irish Christmas Feast (28 page)

It wasn't long before he invested in an ancient house in south-east London. In his spare time he restored it to its original appearance. The area he chose was singularly free of Irish emigrants. He didn't want anybody returning home with word of his whereabouts until his relationship with Carl assumed reasonable proportions. This might never happen but he dared to hope that one day it would. Until such time, however, as he could be absolutely certain that a normal relationship was assured he would keep the location of his house a secret. Then he met Sally. She was a midlander several years younger than he. After a brief courtship they married secretly. After a while, at Sally's insistence, Wally let his family know that he had taken a wife. He promised to bring her on a visit as soon as possible. Two years were to pass before he decided to present her to Maisie and the family.

Sally knew all about Carl. Wally had told her everything. Mercifully Carl accepted her as a member of the family. He too had married a few months previously and was, according to himself, as happy as any man could wish to be. There followed a wonderful holiday. Wally was amazed at the change which had come over Carl. He seemed to have recognised that he no longer had anything to be jealous about. His wife was a vivacious and lovely girl, far more attractive than Sally, highly desirable in every possible way. No man could wish for more in a girl. He had set up his own plumbing business and there was wide demand for his services. It seemed that in Wally's absence he had given his true character a chance to develop. Financially he was far better off than Wally who, after all, was only a clog in a wheel and hadn't the sort of initiative or drive to start off on his own. He would always be content working for somebody else.

Carl owned a bigger car, a bigger house. If he compared his lot with Wally's, and it was highly unlikely that he was any longer given to such a purposeless practice, there would have to be a glow of satisfaction when he considered his position.

When, on the eve of Wally's departure, Carl asked him if he could help him in any way, financially or otherwise, Wally's last remaining reservations vanished and he knew he no longer had anything to fear from his twin.

Wally thanked him profusely for the offer of assistance but declined on the grounds that he already had all he wanted. No sooner had he said this, however, then he realised that he might be giving Carl food for thought. He realised that to suggest he had everything he could possibly want was a mistake. It was possible that Carl might not have everything he could possibly want, so to place himself at a disadvantage he asked Carl for a loan of twenty pounds until he got back to London. Carl was delighted to hand over the money and suggested that Wally keep it as a belated wedding present. Wally agreed to this. For the first time in his life Wally really knew what freedom meant. Always at the back of his mind while he was in London had been the fear that Carl might show up and wreck everything. That was all behind him now and he could breathe easily. He could also go where he liked in London and renew old friendships with other exiles.

At the end of four years of marriage neither twin was blessed with issue although there had been assurances from both family doctors that there was no apparent reason why this should be so. About this time Carl and his wife took a holiday in London. They stayed with Wally and Sally, both of whom took a week off from work so as to be fully at the disposal of their guests.

It was a week of non-stop activity. If Carl had accumulated a great deal of money it wasn't because he was miserly. He spent prodigally throughout the week. When at the end they left for home exhausted but happy, Carl declared that it was the most wonderful week of his entire life. For Wally it was much more. The normal brotherly relationship for which he had wished so devoutly for so long had manifested itself unmistakably for the length of the holiday. He began to experience a contentment and sense of fulfilment which brought a totally new dimension of bliss into his life. The ominous shadows which had hovered over his deepest thoughts up until this time were now irrevocably dispersed and had been replaced by an almost dizzying feeling of release. There were times when he suffered fleeting pangs of guilt so rich and full was his new-found situation. He resolved to adopt a truly charitable and selfless approach to life in return for the great favour which had been bestowed upon him. He no longer recalled the hideous events of the past nor feared in the slightest for the future. He relayed his feelings to Sally and she in turn revealed that she also felt a sense of relief.

Around this time Wally's firm secured an overseas contract as a result of which he would have to spend at least three weeks abroad. There was simply no opting out. If he were to decide in favour of such a course he could easily find himself looking for a new job. Sally assured him that she would be all right. She had her job and after all what were three weeks in a lifetime! The last of his reservations disappeared when she said that one of the girls in the office had volunteered to stay with her until he returned home. At the airport just before his departure he found himself quite overcome by a nauseating feeling of loneliness. It was as unexpected as it was painful.

‘I didn't realise it would be like this,' he told Sally, who had taken a half day off from work to drive him to the airport.

‘It's only three weeks,' she consoled.

‘But I'll be so far away from you. Ecuador's almost half-way round the world.'

‘Look,' Sally laid her hand on his arm, ‘you don't have to go. It isn't as if we need the money and besides you can always get another job.'

‘Too late for that now,' he said. ‘I couldn't very well back out at this stage. They'd never find a replacement at such short notice. Then there are my mates. No! I have to go. It's as simple as that. I don't want to but something tells me I'd feel a lot lousier if I stayed behind.'

‘It will be worth it all when you come home to me,' she whispered.

They kissed and he held her briefly in his arms. He released her without a word and walked off hurriedly to the departure area. She stood unmoving for a long while before turning towards the car park.

In Ecuador Wally lost himself in his work. Because of labour difficulties the job took longer than was anticipated. At night he wrote long letters to Sally. In these he told her how much he longed to be home and how much he pined for her. He received several letters in return but they arrived weeks late so that he could only guess at the existing situation. The letters were full of warmth and concern for him. Finally the contract was fulfilled and the time came to return home. He sent a telegram from Guayaquil indicating the approximate time of his homecoming. Because of various delays it took two days to complete the journey.

Exhausted but elated he set foot on English soil at eight o'clock in the morning. Immediately he hastened to the nearest phone booth. Sally never left for work before eight forty-five. He would have no difficulty in making contact with her. In the booth his heart fluttered in anticipation. He longed with all his heart to hear the sound of her voice. He was surprised and disappointed when she did not respond. The phone was ringing all right but nobody came to answer. He was not unduly alarmed. There had been mornings when she was forced to dash for work without breakfast. It was, therefore, quite possible that she was still slumbering. He smiled fondly at the thought of her lying beyond her time in their comfortable double bed. He replaced the receiver and left the booth. After a cup of coffee and a sandwich he decided to make a second call. He looked at his watch. There was still time enough to catch her before she left for work. Still the same mechanical response. He laid down the receiver, bitterly disappointed.

In the taxi he comforted himself with the thought that she had probably slept it out altogether. This had happened on one or two occasions when he had been away overnight on the firm's business. He could think of no other reason unless she had been taken ill. In this unlikely but remotely possible circumstance she would have gone to her parents' home outside Northampton. He ordered the driver to pull up at the nearest phone booth. It was Sally's mother who answered the call. No. Sally was not with them. The last time she had heard from her was three weeks before. She had sounded all right then. He told his mother-in-law about the calls. She advised him not to worry. Sally was certainly at home asleep in her bed. Where else could she be? He made a third call to his home but there was no reply.

As they drove through the empty streets the first feelings of disquiet began to assail him. He asked himself a number of questions. Where, for instance, was the girl who was supposed to be staying with Sally during his absence? Surely one of the two should have heard the phone ringing and answered it! Where could Sally be if she wasn't in her own or her parents' home? Why was she not on the alert when she knew approximately the time he would be arriving? There could only be one possible answer. She had slept it out. But what if she had not? What if she hadn't slept at home the night before or on previous nights?

All sorts of terrible conclusions entered his mind. The most dreadful of all he dared not contemplate. As the taxi neared its destination he grew more apprehensive until finally he reached a state where he dreaded the prospect of entering the house. Almost at once he chided himself for his lack of faith in a woman who had all her married life been an exemplary spouse. There had to be a perfect explanation for the lack of response to his calls.

When, at length, the taxi driver deposited him at his front door he hesitated. He fumbled for his key and located it. He was about to insert it in the lock but he changed his mind and rang the doorbell instead. He waited a full minute before ringing a second time. The second summons proved as futile as the first. He inserted the key and entered the hallway. Her name was on his lips but no sound came. Slowly he climbed the stairs to the bedroom they had shared for the past four years. The bed was empty, the room deserted. There was still the possibility, of course, that she might have just vacated the house in a scramble to reach the office on time. He decided to ring the office. After a short wait he was put through to her supervisor. His wife had not been in all week nor had she made any form of contact. The last time the supervisor had seen her had been the previous Friday afternoon. It was now Thursday. No. She could offer no explanation nor had she any idea of her whereabouts. He asked if he might speak to the girl who had elected to stay with Sally during his absence. She came on the line at once. Yes. She had stayed for the required period. She presumed that he had returned when he said he would. Sally had made no mention of an extension of the contract. He replaced the phone and sat on the stairs. Suddenly he became violently sick. He staggered into the kitchen for a cloth with which to clean the area where he had vomited.

The sheet of notepaper was pinned prominently to the kitchen cabinet directly over the sink. Despairingly he forced himself to read it. There wasn't much. It was signed Sally. It said: ‘Gone with Carl. Sorry.'

All the old depressions which he had experienced since childhood came flooding back. He sat on a chair and started to sob uncontrollably. He crumpled the sheet in his hand and flung it at the far wall. It bounced on the tiled floor and landed at his feet. He became sick a second time. Afterwards he went upstairs and lay on the bed. Wave after wave of total despair engulfed him until he was all but suffocated. He had never felt so despondent in his life. What had happened was the culmination of all the worst fantasies he had ever experienced, the ultimate in sheer human hopelessness. He cursed himself for having ever left for Ecuador. He should have known that what had happened was always well within the bounds of possibility provided the proper set of circumstances presented themselves at a given time. He could not find it in his heart to blame Sally. He saw her role as inevitable, as a necessary part of his destiny. He lay in bed all day but even after several hours he was still badly stunned by the shock of her departure. He tossed and turned until, from sheer force of fatigue, he fell into an uneasy sleep. When he awakened the phone was ringing. He rushed to answer it. His mother's voice greeted him. At once he burst into tears. She had guessed the worst when Carl had disappeared without warning the week before. She had known for some time of Wally's impending trip overseas and so had Carl. It required no great detective work on her part when Carl's wife arrived at the door in a distraught state a few days after he had gone off without warning. Wally was glad when his mother informed him that she intended to spend some time with him.

She arrived the following evening and stayed for a month. Anxiously she listened as he moved about the house long after she had gone to bed. Always it would be well into the morning before he eventually retired. Even then it was doubtful if he slept. His eyes were bloodshot in the mornings. He found it as much as he could do to drag himself to his place of employment.

For the first few days after his homecoming he absented himself from work but the days had proved too long and dismal and it seemed that they would never pass. He decided to return to work. It was better than mooning around the house where everything he touched reminded him of his absent wife. The weeks passed but no word came. Every so often he would ring her parents' home in the hope that they might have heard something. It was always a fruitless exercise.

Towards the end of the fourth week his sleep returned and so did his appetite. His mother was grateful for these symptoms of a return to some sort of normalcy. She told him that she had overstayed her leave and he accepted this. She bade him a tearful goodbye promising to return at once should he relapse into his earlier despondency. Carl's wife recovered from the loss and the shock at the end of the second day. She flung herself wholeheartedly into the business which she had helped her husband establish. The employees, instead of resenting a female at the helm, became her devoted followers and worked harder than ever to ensure that she should succeed. She played every card at her disposal, using every womanly wile with workforce and customers alike. Her desire to succeed was exceeded only by her hatred of her husband. She was determined never to forgive him. Let him return if he wished one day and he would find his business at least as successful as he had left it but he would find her as cold as stone. In this her resolve was rigid. It was the sheer detestation of him that kept her going during the first difficult weeks while she endeavoured to acquire a working knowledge of the business.