An Uncommon Grace (38 page)

“Things that you do without a second thought. It feels as if I am entering a different country from the one where I have always lived. I need to learn how to walk into a barber’s shop and ask for a haircut—I don’t even know what to tell them to do. I need to learn how to purchase
Englisch
clothes. I went
to the Walmart in Millersburg and I tried, but the variety of clothes was so overwhelming that I didn’t buy anything. I need to learn how to look up a phone number in a telephone book. I want to get my own library card, and I want to learn how to drive a car. I also want to purchase one. I hear that it is not lawful to own a car without insurance, and I have no idea how to go about getting that. There are so many things to learn. I don’t think I can concentrate on courting you, farming, caring for my family, and reinventing my entire life all at the same time.”

“There is no need to court me,” Grace said, “but it sounds as though it is going to be a very long time before we can marry.”

“A few months. Our people usually get married in the fall, after the harvest is safely in the barns and all the canning is finished. I’m thinking early November would be good. Does that sound all right to you?”

“November is fine.”

“I’m glad.”

Grace couldn’t decide quite how she felt about all this. She was thrilled that Levi apparently wanted to spend the rest of his life with her, but this conversation seemed awfully . . . unemotional.

“So,” she said, “it sure sounds like you have everything planned. Have you given any thought to where we will live?”

“I want to build a
Daadi-haus
onto your grandmother’s house—if Elizabeth likes the idea. We can live in it until she needs it, or until the children come. My people seldom allow someone to go into a nursing home, so they build small houses attached to the larger house for the grandfather or grandmother to live in. Elizabeth is better now, but someday she will need care and I would be honored to help you care for her. I also want our children to have the gift of knowing her.”

“You’re willing to accept the electricity of my grandmother’s home?”

He grinned. “I’ve always been a little envious of the bright lights your family gets to read by.”

“You’ve really thought this through, haven’t you, Levi? I guess there’s nothing left for me to decide.” Grace was strangely unhappy. This was supposed to be one of the biggest moments of her life—and yet the conversation felt flat and unsatisfying.

“I’ve said something wrong?”

“No. You’ve said nothing wrong. Everything you said is fine. It’s what you have not said that bothers me.”

He looked puzzled. “I don’t understand.”

“You have not told me that you love me.”

“Oh. That.”

“Yes. That.”

“You are so
Englisch
.” He brought her hand up to his lips and kissed it. “You do not understand.”

“Then explain it to me, Levi.”

“I will tell you I love you as many times as you want, and I will mean it. But my people’s way of showing their love does not lie in saying mushy words. I will be telling you that I love you with everything I do. When I am building your grandmother’s
Daadi-haus
, I will be telling you that I love you. When I fix the roof, I will be telling you that I love you. When I carry something that is too heavy for you, when I take you to see the tiny hummingbird’s nest I have found, when I walk the floor with our babies so that you can rest, when I help you bring up our children in the Lord, when I live my life in complete faithfulness to you . . . I will be saying that I love you.”

Tears welled up in her eyes. She knew every word he had spoken was as true as his loyal heart.

“I love you, Levi.”

“I know.”
He kissed her on the nose. “You have spoken your love for me over and over with your actions.” He kissed her on the forehead. “With every book you brought me when I was sick.” He kissed her on the cheek. “When you wrecked your car to avoid hitting us.” He kissed her on the other cheek. “When you came to the barn, ready to fight Frank Skraggs for me.” He kissed her chin. “When you nearly drowned trying to save my little calf.”

He pulled away and devoured her with his eyes. “You did not have to say the words. I already knew. You had said them to me a hundred times in a hundred different ways.”

She was ready for his kiss when it came. And she was ready for the good life they would build together.

The Lord had spoken loud and clear.

Discussion Questions—
An Uncommon Grace

1. Many people admire what they perceive as the “simple life” of the Amish. After reading
An Uncommon Grace,
do you think their life is more or less complicated than your own? How?

2. One of the themes of this book was the ingrained work ethic of the Amish. In most Amish households, children are taught to work from the time they are two years old. In your opinion, is this a good or bad thing? Why?

3. Something that impresses many people who spend time with the Amish are the calm, polite manners of even the smallest Amish children. I observed a four-year-old happily amusing herself with a handful of small stones for hours while her mother and I chatted beside a campfire. What cultural influences, if any, do you think might impact the children’s behavior?

4. The Amish go to church only every other Sunday. The “off” Sunday is a day for rest and/or visits between friends and family. If you are part of a church community, do you think this practice would have a positive or negative effect upon your family and your church? Why?

5. The Amish support one-room private schools for their children that go up to only the eighth grade. Their curriculum is simple and basic. The children seldom, if ever, have homework. Many teachers have no more education than their students, and yet as a group, these children
consistently score at or above national testing averages. Why do you think this is? If you are a parent, are you envious of this option, or do you think it’s detrimental for the children to have such a limited scholastic experience?

6. In Holmes County, a large number of Amish homes have a small
Daadi-haus
attached for the grandparents to live in. It is extremely rare for them to use a nursing home. What is your opinion about this choice from the standpoint of each of the three generations usually involved?

7. Being a neighbor to the Amish sometimes means being available for small favors of everything from the use of a telephone to transporting members in emergency situations. Some people, like Elizabeth and Grace, embrace the culture and value the friendship. Others, in real life, find it annoying. Would you want to have Amish neighbors? Why?

8. In the final scene, Levi says that he needs to learn how to be
Englisch
before he can be a good husband to Grace. What things do you foresee his needing to overcome before they can marry?

9. If you were doing premarital counseling with Grace and Levi, what cultural, emotional, and financial problems would you prepare them to deal with as they build a life together?

10. Both the Mennonite and Amish churches are rooted in the persecution they endured five hundred years ago when they refused infant baptism and insisted on adult baptism only. Many were burned at the stake for this belief. What doctrinal beliefs, if any, do you personally hold that you would be willing to die for?

A Conversation with Serena B. Miller

1. What was the most challenging part of writing
An Uncommon Grace
?
Researching the Swartzentrubers. The Old Order Amish are a hospitable people and relatively easy to engage in conversations about their faith and practices. There is also a great deal written about the Old Order Amish and other less conservative Amish sects. However, the Swartzentrubers, in general, are much more closed to outsiders. That was definitely a challenge.

2. On your website,
www.serenabmiller.com
, you share that while doing research an Amish father told you, “Nothing is forbidden.” You said that his family read one of your books and gave you an “enthusiastic nod of approval.” In the story Bishop Weaver has quite the opposite temperament toward outsiders, like Grace and even Aunt Rose. Is Bishop Weaver’s character based on any resistance toward you during your research?
To clarify your question, on that particular night, the Amish father had agreed to allow me to ask questions, but I kept trying so hard not to ask anything that might be considered rude or offensive, that I kept apologizing for each question. He was kind enough to put me entirely at my ease by saying that I could ask him anything I wanted, that no question was forbidden. He said he simply wanted to make certain the information I wrote about his people was accurate.
   
I have personally never experienced anything but kindness and patience among the Amish. Even the few Swartzentruber Amish I have met have been kind, although much more reticent about talking about their faith.
   The personality of Bishop Weaver was actually based on a non-Amish minister whom I once knew. However, I have heard of extremely rigid and dictatorial bishops. In that case, sometimes an entire family will sell their home and move to a different location rather than be under that particular bishop’s thumb. I think that most Amish bishops are good men who are simply trying to do the best they can in a position that they neither asked for nor wanted. As I pointed out in the last part of the book, the mantle of responsibility that a bishop accepts is extremely heavy and it is for life.

3. Your previous novel,
Love Finds You in Sugarcreek, Ohio,
centers on Rachel Troyer, her three Amish aunts, and a mysterious stranger who comes to Sugarcreek looking for refuge. What inspired you to write another story about the Amish community?
Purely selfish reasons. I really enjoy and respect these people. I love their humor, their gentleness, and their wonderful children. I love sitting at the kitchen table with the women after the dishes are done, talking about small domestic matters by the light of a kerosene lamp. I love the peace I feel in their homes. I treasure their friendship. I almost always learn something important that I can apply to my own life. Writing this book gave me a good excuse to spend more time with my friends.

4. A very interesting theme in the book is the divide not only between the Amish and the
Englisch
but also within the Amish community itself. Was there a particular experience you observed that led you to further explore this aspect of Amish life?
I was talking with a Holmes County law enforcement officer about some of the challenges of working among the Amish. He was a kind man who took his job of protecting the public seriously. The first thing he mentioned was the heartbreak of buggy/car crashes. He said that many wrecks could be avoided if the Swartzentrubers would simply agree to make their buggies more visible. He said that those unadorned black buggies were almost impossible to see on a dark night. Then he made a statement that gave me chills. He said, “I wish they would agree to put the reflective triangles on the back of their buggies, just to give us some warning. I’m so tired of scraping Swartzentrubers up off the road.” Until that moment, I had no idea such a sect existed. It was at that point I began to study these people who would rather go to jail than allow the red triangle—which they consider decorative—on their buggies.

5. If you could take one aspect of Amish life to incorporate into your own life or contemporary society as a whole, what would it be?
A friend who makes her living driving a van for the Amish told me once that she was convinced Amish children were, on the whole, the happiest children on earth. From what I’ve seen, I have to agree. I’ve spent days at a time in my Amish friends’ homes—and the children are a delight.
They are more respectful, not only toward adults but also toward one another. I’ve never seen so much as a good squabble between them. They also have longer attention spans and can play quietly for hours. I attribute this to four things: (1) The lack of television and electronic devices. (2) The almost nonexistent divorce rate. (3) The work ethic taught each child from the age of two. (4) The peace of knowing there is an extended network of family and church members ready to help if any need arises.

6. Grace and Levi are such opposite characters and exemplify distinct personality types. Was it difficult to make the switch in perspectives while writing?
No. By the time I began to write the story, their personalities were so firmly entrenched in my mind that it was not difficult at all. In fact, that was the part I most enjoyed—the switching back and forth and seeing the various situations through entirely different eyes.

7. Elizabeth works as a perfect liaison between Grace and the Amish community. How did her character come about?
When I first began writing the book, Elizabeth wasn’t even alive. I had intended for Grace to come home to inherit her grandmother’s house—along with the responsibility of a younger sister. But as I wrote the story, her grandmother became such a strong personality, I had no choice but to bring her onto the page. Once there, Elizabeth practically wrote herself. There were so many things she said and did that surprised me. For instance, toward the end, when Levi comes to talk with her about the possibility of leaving his church, I had an entirely different speech planned for her to give. The problem was, Elizabeth had no intention of
giving that speech. She had her own ideas—and they were much better than mine. I know it sounds weird, but characters really do sometimes take over the writing—and when that happens, it’s wise to simply say thank you and accept the gift.

8. Levi envies small luxuries in
Englisch
life, such as battery-powered flashlights and windshield wipers, while Grace admires the simple pleasures of Amish living, such as fresh food ingredients and homemade vegetable stock. Would you say that these desires played a role in drawing the two characters toward each other?
Oh, yes. That was a major part of their attraction to each other. Also, in spite of the differences of their outward appearances and lives, they had many similar traits. Both were highly intelligent, both were compassionate and courageous, and both felt passionately loyal to their families and to God. Add to that the fact that both envied many things about each other’s lives—it made a perfect place for them to eventually meet in the middle.