An Unexpected Mother (The Colorado Brides Series Book 4) (8 page)

Susanna was behind me, and, to my surprise, she wrapped her arms around my neck. “I want to sew, Fanny.” Her sweet breath was near my face. “We should make stuffed bears.”

“Well, we will then.” It was heartening that at least Susanna embraced me with such generosity. I noted the look of disapproval on Jane’s face; the girl glared at her sister.

“I should love a bear, fanny. Maybe two. My birthday is next month.”

“It is?” I grinned. “You need to tell me when your birthdays are.”

“I’m Oct 5
,” said Peter.

“Mine’s June 23
,” said Connor.

I glanced at Jane. “When’s yours?”

“It’s not important.”

“Of course it’s important. I’ll need time to make the cake and get you presents.”

Susanna’s grip around my neck tightened. “I love cake! Can I have chocolate? I love creamy topping too!”

“Yes, you can have chocolate cake.”

“Can we have it even when there isn’t a birthday?” asked Peter; his look was expectant.

“I’ll talk to Maria. Maybe she has the ingredients.”

“Jane,” said Susanna. “You were wrong. Fanny’s not nearly as bad as you say she is. Anyone who’s willing to make cake when it’s not a birthday is good in my book.”

The scowl on the older girl’s face deepened, as she stared at her hands. “I never said any such thing.”

“Oh, yes you did.” Connor grinned impishly.

“Just be quiet now,” said Mary. “Shush, both of you.”

The ice had begun to thaw with the younger children, but I had my work cut out for me where Jane and Mary were concerned. They were older and far too wise to the ways of the world. They had felt the impact of tragedy far more acutely. I would have to think of how I could earn my way into their good graces.

Later that evening, after dinner, Mary was in the kitchen with her hands in the sink, washing dishes. I helped by drying and stacking my sister’s prized dishes on the shelf nearby. We had eaten venison stew with mashed potatoes and chocolate cake for dessert, which Susanna helped to make. She had eaten quite a few spoonfuls of batter, sneaking bites when she thought no one was looking. The same thing had happened with the topping, which had been made with whipped cream flavored with cocoa.

Mary handed me a plate. “Thank you.” I’d been trying to talk to her, but the precocious thirteen-year-old was determined to keep our relationship as impersonal as possible. The next plate came my way, but before I was able to take a hold of it, it fell to the floor, breaking into three pieces. “Oh, no.” I bent to retrieve it. “These are my sister’s favorites.”

“I’m sorry.” Her face seemed oddly blank, but fear flashed in her eyes.

“What happened?” Hannah had come up behind us, carrying a bowl.

“We broke the plate,” I said. “I’m dreadfully sorry. I know you went through great pains bringing them out here.”

“Paulina had that pleasure. Let me see.” She held the pieces. “Yes, that’s done now.”

“Will I be punished?”

I glanced at Mary, perplexed by her fear. “It was an accident.”

“It’s not the first plate I’ve ever broken.” Hannah left the pieces on the table. “I might be able to glue it together. I’ll ask mother about it. She’s fixed things like this before.”

“I didn’t mean to do it.”

“Of course you didn’t,” said Hannah. “It’s no worry now. Let’s finish the rest of the dishes so we can read aloud. We love books around here.”

The air crackled oddly, with an undercurrent of discomfort and distress. It looked like Mary might cry, her eyes watering. “I have to…use the privy. Excuse me.” She rushed to the kitchen door, exiting with haste.

“Oh, goodness,” murmured Hannah. “The older ones are decidedly emotional. Must everything be a drama?”

“They are. If only the cake could’ve won them over.”

“Well, the boys and Susanna love you. Now we just have to figure out how to bring the other two, those stubborn little sourpusses, into the fold.” She giggled.

There was movement behind Hannah. Jane stood in the doorway. She had heard every word my sister had uttered.
Oh, dear.

Chapter Eight

The coldness from Jane and Mary continued, while the boys and Susanna had warmed up to me, even embracing me at times, especially when Maria and I made treats. I tried my best to encourage the older girls to help with needlework or knitting, but they didn't seem to care for arts and crafts. I had gone to school to talk to Miss Cox. She had shown me what they had been working on, and I had seen the drawings that Jane had made. They were of the prairie behind the school, and they had been beautiful finished.

It seemed that I spent most of my day traveling back and forth to town, and by Thursday, I was more than ready to share the responsibility with Pastor Bailey, but I dreaded having to see him. Our last meeting had been filled with anger and animosity. I doubted today would be any different. The children could have walked to the church after school, but I was in town, having to run errands, and a small part of me was worried that he had forgotten about our arrangement. They climbed into the wagon for the short ride; their things were in several bundles in the back. Pastor Bailey’s wagon was by the side of the building, and I assumed I was to bring them here.

“Let’s go in. I’ll see if he’s here.” I stepped from the wagon, as Mary and Jane followed. The boys dashed around in a circle, having chased Susanna, who shrieked excitedly. “Shush, now! It’s a church.”

I placed a finger to my mouth for silence. I relished having a few days to myself. The frequent trips to town and the stress of having to deal with Jane and Mary’s less than friendly behavior had taken a toll on me.

We were in the Nave. “Do sit here for a moment. I’m going to find him.” I strode down the aisle, inhaling the light scent of incense. Pastor Bailey was in the small office, sitting behind the desk. He glanced up when I entered; his expression was unguarded for a moment, revealing distaste.

“I’ve brought the children.” He seemed confused for a moment. Had he forgotten our shared responsibilities?

The quill he had been using was left on a sheet of paper. “How can I help you?”

“Truly? You don’t remember?”

“From all accounts, I’ve heard things are going well. When the children are adjusting so beautifully, why would you want to upset everything?”

“Oh, I see. It’s quite all right for
my
life to be turned upside down, but heaven forbid you’re inconvenienced in any way.”

“They aren’t my children. I wouldn’t uproot them at this juncture. They’re adjusting well—”

“How do you know that? I’m the one dealing with them. My sister’s house is filled with more people than she knows what to do with. She’s been dreadfully inconvenienced. I’ve three girls in my bedroom! I haven’t had a moment of peace since Sunday, when I was told that I was suddenly a mother.” What was it about him that provoked my anger so quickly?

“I…meant to come and—”

“Hogwash! You had no intention of checking on us. How you were named pastor for this community is beyond me. You’ve shown absolutely no compassion at all for your parishioners, especially…especially me! You could care less about the stresses I’ve been suffering.” I glanced around the book-lined space. Everything seemed well-organized. “You’re here in your nice little office, writing letters in peace and solitude, while I’m feeding and washing up after five children. I won’t even bore you with how many hours I spend driving back and forth to town every day.”

He had gotten to his feet, towering over the deck. “Must you provoke a fight each time we meet?”

“I certainly don’t mean to.”

“I’ve been thinking about this situation.”

“That’s refreshing.”

He appeared to be taking a deep breath. “I sympathize with your plight, Mrs. Hatch, but the children aren’t related to me in any way. I’m willing to guide them down the spiritual path to commune with our Lord, but I am not obligated to see to their care and maintenance. With the exception of homelessness, of course, but that’s not the case here. I’ve collected the names of several families who are willing to take them, but none will have all five at once.”

That was the last thing I had wanted to hear. “I see.” My shoulders were back, as I fumed with irritation. “You won’t lift a finger to share in the responsibility, because you feel it’s a hardship for them to go back and forth between our houses, but you have no qualms about splitting them up. YOU WOULD RATHER HAVE THEM SEPARATED!”

“Please lower your voice.”

“Coming here has been an enormous waste of time. I should’ve known you’d be completely unreliable. You—how old are you, if I may ask?”

“I’m not twenty-five yet.” The question seemed to perplex him.

“I assume you’re unmarried.”

“I am.”

“Well, I can see why.”

A hint of pink appeared on his cheeks. “I beg your pardon?”

“You might be capable of delivering a rather tepid sermon, but you lack in other essentials.”

“Before you continue on this path,” his voice held a hint of warning, “I’ll politely ask you not to judge my character by what little you’ve seen.”

“Oh, I’ve seen more than enough. I thought we’d reached an agreement the other day, but you’ve gone back on your word, which means your word is worth nothing.”

Knowing that I would now have to deal with the children on my own brought the reality of the situation into sobering focus. Whatever hopes and dreams I had for my future would have to either be abandoned or postponed.

He must have sensed my distress, because his features softened slightly, as he stared steadily. “I’m sorry for the situation you find yourself in, Mrs. Hatch. I know the children are a shock. I’m appalled that Jason lied to you. Such behavior was beneath him; it really was. I wish I could help you, but, although you find my sermons less than inspiring, others count on me to deliver them. You may not think much of me in that regard,” his brows had drawn together, “but hopefully you’ll see things with greater clarity in the future.” He looked concerned. “Are you all right?”

“No, I’m not, but you’ve made it abundantly clear that it’s not your problem. I was stupid to think that anyone would help me. I’ll…just do…whatever,” I finished lamely, feeling utterly worn-down in that long, awful moment. “I won’t trouble you again, sir. I’m sorry I’ve disturbed your peace. Good day.” He looked like he would say something else, but I wouldn't give him the chance, as I turned away. With as much dignity as I could muster, I approached the children. “Well, there’s been a change of plans.” Expectant eyes gazed at me. Jane had pursed her lips.

“No,” said a male voice. I hadn’t realized Pastor Bailey had followed me. “It’s fine. Leave them here.”

It was an effort to face him. I struggled to hide the tears that wanted to pour from me in a never-ending stream of grief. “We’ve bothered you long enough, sir.”

“It’s no trouble. I’ll take them until Sunday. My housekeeper will help me.”

“But you’re right. They’re not yours. I was wrong to even ask you for help. It’s my disaster.” I shrugged; feeling a swell of emotion I wished would go away.

He took my arm. “Excuse us for a moment.” We headed for the front of the church.

“W-what are you doing?”

“You have to hold it together, Mrs. Hatch. You’re dangerously close to losing your composure.”

“How can you tell?”

We were just inside the doorway of the office, no more than two feet apart. “You’ve five souls who depend on you. It’s important not to fall apart in front of the children.”

“When can I fall apart then? I’m in a room with three girls. I would dearly love to have a good cry, but I can’t do it there either.” Just the thought of having a moment of privacy brought a rush of wetness to my eyes, the tears spilling over.

He reached into a pocket, withdrawing a handkerchief, dabbing at my face, but this show of concern only aided in fresh tears, as I succumbed to an even greater bout of self-pity. I sniffed, my body trembling with an avalanche of emotion that was far too strong to suppress. I leaned into him, resting my forehead against his pristine white shirt. His sack coat was rough to the touch, having been made of inferior fabric. He didn’t push me away, letting me cry, while I shuddered with the force of my unhappiness. When the tears slowed, I remained in his arms, finding the embrace comforting. His hand was on my back, rubbing gently, while my bonnet had fallen away, the lace at my throat pulled taut. I closed my eyes, inhaling his scent, which was a combination of cologne and the way clothing smelled after it had been hung out on the line.

“Mrs. Hatch,” said a female voice. It was Jane. “What are we to do?”

“Oh!” I stepped away from Pastor Bailey, heat rising on my cheeks. “I’m…oh, I guess we’re going to my sister’s house.”

“I’ll take them until Sunday.”

My anger seemed to have vanished, which was perplexing. I wished Jane hadn’t interrupted, because I had enjoyed being in his arms. “No, Pastor Bailey. I shouldn’t have asked you to help.” His concerned look took on an edge. He assumed I would verbally attack him again. “I…I don’t want to fight. I’m trying to say that I’ve been wrong. It was wrong to ask you to share in this. They…” I glanced at Jane…“my children will stay with me from here on out. I don’t want to uproot them twice a week. That’s ridiculous. You’re right about that, but they won’t be handed out to other families either. I plan to care for them the best I can.” I grasped the bonnet, placing it on my head, while securing the sash. “Well, then. That’s settled. Thank you for your…your…kindness, sir. I’ll see you again on Sunday.”

His look was regretful. “Perhaps I was wrong.”

I shook my head. “Not at all.” Now that I had accepted my fate, I felt a semblance of inner strength, although, whenever I met his gaze, I tingled strangely, feeling as if there were crickets bouncing around in my belly. “I’m sorry I’ve been so rude. This has been a trying time for me. I’ve not handled it well, sir.”

“Then I must apologize too. I’ve been less than helpful. If you wish to bring the children to my apartment, I’ll gladly take them.” His look revealed sincerity.