An Unkind Winter (Alone Book 2) (25 page)

     It took him less than an hour to inspect the parts of the electronic fuel injection system and replace the bad ones. Then he took off his dirty parka so he wouldn’t get grime all over the interior, and climbed into the driver’s seat.

     The key was still in the new ignition, but before he turned it he said a quick prayer.

     “Please, God. You know I don’t ask for much. In fact, I haven’t asked you for anything since this whole ordeal started, except to make sure my wife and children were alive and unharmed.

     “But I’m asking you for this, Lord. Please make this thing start so I can get my family back together again.”

     He held his breath and turned the key.

     Nothing.

     He stared to cry.

-48-

     Dave immediately sank into a deep depression. For days he rarely got out bed except when nature called. And since he wasn’t eating and was barely drinking, nature wasn’t calling very often.

     He slept a lot, off and on, in daytime as well as in darkness. During his waking hours, he examined his entire life, from his first memories as a young boy, and decided he was a miserable failure.

     He focused on everything he ever failed at, from his first attempts at tying square knots to his dismal SAT score. The one algebra class in high school he just couldn’t pass, even after retaking it a second semester. The dead-end job at a 7-Eleven he’d gotten fired from. The letter of reprimand he’d once gotten in the Marine Corps for being late for guard duty.

     Everything. He tried to convince himself he was the most miserable human being on the face of the earth, past or present.

     He overlooked the good. His successful business career. The fact that all his friends looked up to him and considered him a fine man. His devotion as a loving husband and father.

     At one point while in this state, he went to the kitchen and sat beside Mikey, and begged the dead man for forgiveness.

     And when he was at rock bottom, when he could not possibly be any more down on himself, he took out his handgun.

     There was already a round in the chamber. There had been ever since the night he’d shot and killed Mikey.

     He clicked off the safety and held it up against the bottom of his chin. Against his temple. He even placed it in his mouth, finger firmly on the trigger, and savored the metallic taste of the barrel.

     He wondered which method would be the least messy.

     In case Sarah and the girls somehow made it back to him.

     And it was only that thought… that his family shouldn’t have to clean his blood and brain matter from the ceiling and walls, after all they’d already been through…

     It was only that thought that caused him to put the gun back in his holster and decide to keep living.

     Of course, calling what he was doing “living” was a stretch.

     Probably the only substantive thing he did during this bout of depression was to pen an entry to Sarah in the journal he’d been keeping for her.

Hi Baby.

     Yesterday was the second worst day since the blackout began. The only day worse than yesterday was the day you and the girls disappeared from my life and got on that plane. The day of the blackout itself. As bad as that day was, yesterday was almost as bad.

     I got the Explorer down the street from where it died that day and put it into the garage and replaced all the bad parts with good ones. For two days I wasted my time and froze my butt and my fingers off. And it didn’t work.

     I don’t know why. Something else got fried that is somehow preventing the damn thing from starting. I knew it was only an untested theory, and that I shouldn’t have gotten by hopes up. I should have known better, but damn it, I was counting on it working.

     I want you and the girls to know that I am still coming for you. I’ll have to walk now, and we’ll probably have to walk back unless Tommy was able to protect any vehicles from the EMP. Or maybe he can figure out why the Explorer didn’t work and help me get another vehicle running. I think he’s a better shade tree mechanic than I am.

     The worst part of this is, it’s going to take three more months before I can see you and hold you again.

     But I’m coming. You can count on that.

     I’ve decided I’m going to try to fatten up before I leave. The rabbit meat has been pretty lean, and I’ve always trimmed off the extra fat after I’ve slaughtered them. I’m hoping they pack on extra fat during the winter to help keep them warm. I’m going to stop trimming it off and start eating it in my stews instead. Lots of carbs too, over the next two or three months.

     If I can pack on some extra pounds, I can live off the stored fat to help keep me going. That means less hunting and foraging for food. And more time on the road instead.

     I seem to remember seeing an old baby stroller, leaning against the wall in the Castros’ garage. One of those fancy ones, with a rack beneath it to carry your stuff.

     I’m going to see if it still works, and if it does I’m going to take it to Kansas City with me.

     I know, that sounds ridiculous. But it’ll enable me to take a second bag full of provisions, strapped into the stroller like a baby. That will also help reduce the time I have to spend hunting for food. I can put bottles of water in the rack, so I don’t have to forage for water as often.

     In the daytime, I’d be afraid that would attract bandits, who’d see my two bags of food as a jackpot. But I plan to travel only at night. So it should be safe.

     This is a major setback, and I’d be lying if I said it hasn’t affected me. It’s come very close to killing my spirit. But it hasn’t killed my resolve. I will get to you. I made you that promise the day of the blackout, and I’m just as committed today.

     Please give the girls a hug and a kiss for me. I love you all.

     His depression went on a few more days, until one afternoon he was in the middle of a very deep sleep.

     Dave didn’t dream often, but when he did his dreams were vivid and real. Perhaps this dream was brought on by the delirium he was going through from lack of water and nourishment. Or maybe because he had slept so fitfully for days and just needed a good hard sleep. Whatever caused it, the hard sleep and his dream finally gave him his answers.

     Or at least some of them.

     “Dad, you need to stop doing this to yourself.”

     Lindsey’s face was so real, so clear, he could reach out and stroke the tears from her cheek. It was full of color and full of life, and despite her tears the vision warmed his heart.

     “Baby, I’ve missed you so.”

     “I miss you too, Dad We all do. We love you so much and we know it must be so hard for you, there all alone.”

     “I’m not alone anymore, Lindsey, honey. Thank you for coming to see me. Where’s Mom and your little sister?”

     “Dad, would you do something for me?”

     “Sure, honey. What do you need?”

     “Dad, it’s very important that you take care of the bunnies. Lindsey and Beth. Don’t let anything happen to them, okay?”

     Dave smiled in his dream.

     “They’re not very sociable, honey. All they do is follow me around and stare at me. They won’t even let me pick them up. Heck, I don’t even know if they’re girls. For all I know I could have named two boy bunnies after you.”

     “Oh, they’re girls, Dad. Please take good care of them. It’s very important.”

     “Okay, I will.”

     “Dad, I have to go now. The second thing I want you to do, promise me you’ll do, is go back and check your wiring.”

     “Check… my wiring? On what? What wiring?”

     “Dad, I have to go. I love you so much. Please don’t ever forget that.”

     She turned and walked away.

     Dave noticed for the first time his daughter was dressed in a flowing white gown that covered her down to the floor. But he could see the heels of her bare feet beneath the bottom of the gown as she walked away from him.

     “Lindsey, wait! Where are your Mom and sister?”

     But his daughter kept walking, then disappeared into nothingness.

     He was awake now, but stubbornly refused to open his eyes. He thought maybe, just maybe, if he kept them closed, she’d come back. Maybe bring Sarah and Beth with her.

     Finally, he opened them. They opened easily. Not dry and pasty as they should have been after a long sleep. They were moistened by his tears. Lubricated by his sorrow. Dampened by his misery.

     He looked around. Outside light penetrated his safe room. It was daytime, although he had no clue what time it was. His small battery-powered clock was in pieces and scattered about the tiny room, after he’d thrown it against the wall a couple of days before.

    The fire was out again, and apparently had been for a long time. There were no embers, still gasping for life. No tiny wisps of smoke still smoldering from the ashes. No heat emanating from the fireplace at all.

     He didn’t care. It no longer mattered.

     He pulled the sleeping bag up tightly around his neck, rolled over and went back to sleep, wanting desperately for his dream to return.

     A couple of hours later, Dave’s eyes were suddenly wide open and he sat bolt upright in bed.

     He scrambled out of his sleeping bags and ran barefoot through the house and into the garage.

     He grabbed a flashlight and looked under the hood of the Explorer.

     Then he laughed the insane laugh of a lunatic.

     The third wire, the black wire that was supposed to connect the third terminal of the starter relay to the battery, was still hanging limply against the side of the fender well.

-49-

Hi Honey.

     Forget everything I said the other day. Pretend I was just hallucinating. Pretend I was drunk or stupid. And give Lindsey a super-sized hug for me, will you? Tell her she is wonderful and that I love her so much.

     I got the Explorer running. Lindsey came to me in a dream, and in that dream she told me to check my wiring. I didn’t have a clue what she meant.

     Then as I was lying in bed I was going over in my mind that I’d done to the Explorer. Everything, from the time I put it on the jack stands to the time I finally turned the key and nothing happened. And the weirdest thing happened. I couldn’t remember attaching the last wire from the relay to the battery. I ran out to the garage, and sure enough there it was, just hanging there, laughing at me and telling me how stupid and careless I was.

     Anyway, I hooked it up and jumped into the driver’s seat and turned the key on the steering column. Stupid again.

     Then I turned the second ignition key I’d installed on the dashboard. It hesitated a bit, which I think was because the battery was so cold. But then it sprang to life.

     Hearing that engine run was the prettiest thing I’ve heard in my life.

     Well, the second prettiest thing, after hearing you say “I do.”

     But it was a real close second.

     I only let it run for a few minutes. I didn’t want anyone to hear it running from the street. The dashboard is blacked out and will stay that way, since the new wiring arrangement doesn’t go through the electrical system. No lights, no heater, no CD player. But I don’t need any of that stuff. All I need is a vehicle that moves to get me to Kansas City and then to get us back again.

     And it seems that I have it.

     It occurred to me that I didn’t buy a backup alternator to keep the battery charged. Another stupid oversight, I know. I crawled up under the thing and put an amp meter on it and it is putting out juice. But I don’t know if it’s enough to keep the battery charged.

     My solution is not to start it anymore until I leave, in case I have a limited number of starts before it goes dead. Also, I did remember to protect a jump starter. I’ll charge it up on the generator and bring it along when I come for you. I’ll also try not to kill the car more than once or twice along the way.

     If I knew for sure the highways were going to be abandoned, I might try to drive straight through, only stopping to siphon gas and leaving the engine running when I did.