An Unknown Place (16 page)

“I’ll let you get settled in. You wanna watch a movie or T.V. or anything?” He was opening the door for me. I didn’t want to push my luck by making him more uncomfortable.

“I’m exhausted. I think I’ll take a shower and hit the hay.”

He nodded and left me standing there. I listened as he padded down the hall. I heard the door at the end of the hall open and close.

I dropped my bag on the floor and flopped down on the bed, closing my eyes. I saw Kellan’s face and imagined he came back to the room he left me in. Only, this time he would’ve asked me a different question:
Mackayla, I am so happy you’re here. I couldn’t ask for better company. Would you like to stay in my bed?
And I would’ve had a different answer.
Yes.
Damn fantasies.

Kellan

I knew the walls in the house were thin. It was part of the reason Jake had moved out. He hated hearing me and my nightly exploits. I couldn’t blame him. I had called him jealous at the time, now I realized I was just being a jerk. I got ready for bed and lay on my California King to watch the Mecum Auto Auction.

I had just flipped on the tube, when my cell phone rang. I looked at the screen and saw it was one of my old hook ups. I picked it up and had the short conversation that entailed me telling her that I wasn’t interested and thanked her for understanding. My mind went immediately to Mac and her lying in bed a room over. I wanted to touch her, if for no other reason than to hold her. I sounded like a girl.

After that realization, I needed a drink. I opened my bedroom door to go downstairs, only to find Mac’s back, walking away. She was wearing short blue bed shorts and a thin white tank. I swear if she turned around and I could see her nipples I would have to leave the house to keep myself from attacking her. Just as she reached the door to the spare bedroom, Mac turned around and came back toward me. Her eyes were down, and she was talking to herself. I only caught the end.

“…I should be able to ask. Right? Right.”

“Having a conversation with yourself?”

She looked up, doe eyes – a deer caught in my headlights. Speaking of headlights, hers were on and could easily poke my eyes out and I would gladly let them.

“I was coming to see you.” She ran her hands down her barely-there outfit.

“What’s up?” I asked, keeping my eyes on her face.

“I was on my way to your room, then I heard you on the phone explaining you had another woman over…and I couldn’t listen to it anymore. So, I came back to my room and packed my bag, so you wouldn’t have the complication of me. Can I have Bren’s number?”

“Jesus. We aren’t ever going to get there are we?”

“What?”

Mac was confused. But she had been the one jumping to conclusions. It was like housing a feral cat. I wanted to soothe her but I also wanted to shake some sense into her and myself for having led the type of life I had…for giving her a reason to doubt me.

“This thing with us is still new. There is going to be spill over. If I don’t tell those women that I’m not interested, which if you’d listened had happened in that same conversation, then they are going to keep calling. I don’t want them to call anymore.”

“I’m an idiot.”

“I’d never blame you for protecting yourself, Mac. But I’m not here to hurt you.”

“I shouldn’t have eavesdropped. There’s no place you can’t hear in this house, though.”

“I know,” I smiled. She was cute when she was frustrated.“You wanna watch a movie now?”

“Yeah.”

I walked back to my room and lay on my side of the bed. I had never taken to sleeping in the middle of my bed, even though I’d never had anyone else sleeping on the other side.

Mac hopped up on the bed.

“This room is three sizes bigger than the one I’m in.”

“I knocked a wall down. It used to be a three bedroom house, now it’s two. It suits me better.”

I picked up the remote and changed from the auto auction to my movie channels.

“What kind of movies do you like?” Mac asked me.

“Anything that doesn’t fall under chick flick, I’ll watch a rom com, but I prefer comedy or action.”

One of my favorite movies was playing on HBO.

“Let’s go with comedy.”

I turned on Hot Fuzz, which was followed as a close second to Shaun of the Dead. The movie was still at the beginning credits when my cell phone rang again. I sighed loudly, frustrated and hoping to God it wasn’t another woman. It was. It was my mother. I slid my finger across the screen to answer.

“Hi Ma, what’s up?”

All I heard was crying on the other end of the phone.

“Ma? What’s wrong.”

I couldn’t see anything in the room anymore. I had my pants on and was looking for a shirt. She sniffed.

“I miss you baby.”

I sighed again, in complete and utter relief. I thought something had happened to Tonio or Pop.

“I miss you too, Ma. Is there anything else wrong?”

“You’re my boy. I’ll call you if I want. Can’t a mother call her son?”

“Alright, Ma, alright.”

I knew it broke her a little when I’d left. I guess I just hadn’t realized how much she’d missed me.

“Tonio tells me you’ll be home for Mother’s Day.”

“I will.”

“Bring your girlfriend with you.”

“Ahh…”

I looked over at Mac. She was studying my face with a frown. She was probably wondering what kind of conversation I’d had with my mother to go from panicked to calm in such a short period of time. But Ma was right, she was my girlfriend and she didn’t have any family. My family would undoubtedly welcome her.

“Can you hold on a sec Ma?”

“Of course.”

I pushed the mute button on my cell.

“My Mom wants to know if you’d like to come home with me for Mother’s Day.” Mac’s smile was apprehensive at first, then determined. She nodded her head in agreement. I felt relief and smiled, my face hurting a little from the wideness. I pushed the button on the screen again and up it to my ear.

“Mac will be there.”

“Mac? I never knew, I mean don’t get me wrong – I don’t care if you swing that way –”

“Mackayla, Ma.
Her
name is Mackayla. She goes by Mac.”

“Oh thank God.”

“Can I call you later Ma?”

“As long as you actually call me.”

“I will, talk to you later.”

“Bye, baby.”

I hung up my phone.

“Your mom thought I was a man,” Mac laughed.

“We should’ve hung onto that and let her find out when we pulled up to the house.”

“Yes! Damn. Why didn’t we think of that sooner?”

I pulled the jeans that I had on over my mesh bed shorts off and laid back on the bed.

Mac was laying with an arm over her head and the other across her stomach. Her slender legs splayed messily. She was bending her toes, cracking them. It sounded painful. She must’ve seen the horror on my face.

“Sorry. Habit. I did ballet until the day I left home. Messed my feet up pretty bad, especially my toes.”

“Give me your foot.”

I had never willingly touched another person’s foot. But Mac wasn’t everyone else. She put her foot in my lap, and I rubbed the arch of her foot, kneading it with my fingers. She made little moaning sounds that shot straight to my crotch. I didn’t have jeans on anymore so I tried blocking out the noises of her gratefulness and moving my thoughts to something else. A foot, a foot’s gross – but not when it was attached to her slender leg and the rest of her amazing body. That train of thought wasn’t helping. Sickness, illness, my brother. Okay, I felt myself soften and smiled. I would have to wear my jeans to bed while Mac was in town.

She pointed her toe as I moved my rubbing to the heel of her foot. I opened my eyes to see she had hers closed. She pointed her toe directly at the area that was hard just moments before, as though she was saying
I saw it, you can’t hide it from me
. I didn’t want to hide anything from her, really, I just wanted her and my body wasn’t very good at hiding that fact.

I knew at that moment that even if I had to wait a few years for her to be ready for any real action, I would wait. Somehow, Mac had ruined me for all other women. In her quiet graciousness and strength she found her way under my skin and there was no way to remove her.

If I was touching her feet, it was a long term feeling buried in my chest. I heard a soft snore. She’d fallen asleep. She was lying lengthwise on the bed, but I didn’t dare move her. She needed her rest, so I grabbed a pillow and lifted her head, gently placing it under her. I grabbed my own and lay next to her.

In her sleep, she was trusting and peaceful. I had never seen a more beautiful person. I wanted to keep her with me always, but knew if I pushed too hard too soon, I might lose her. A piece of hair fell over her eyes. I moved it away, not wanting to lose the chance to study her without any of her normal walls.

I watched her until I couldn’t keep my eyes open anymore.

Mac

I was dreaming of Kellan. He was smiling down at me as he moved, putting his delicious weight on top of me. He kissed my neck and I made sure to keep my eyes open. His hand moved down to my breast. It was the perfect pressure. He kissed me with abandon and I equaled his feelings, running my tongue along his. This man could have me any day of the week – as long as I remembered to keep my eyes open. I watched as his beautiful hands removed the oversized t-shirt I’d worn to bed.

When my bare breasts came into view, his breathing picked up and his tongue darted out of his mouth and he moved over my bare chest. It felt amazing and I arched my back so he had better access to the part of my body he was expertly playing with his mouth.

He slowly moved down my body to my hip bones, kissing them softly. He wasn’t in an erogenous zone for me, well, not one that was normally an erogenous zone, but it might as well have been. My body, from head to toe, was a live wire. I felt incredible as I watched him caringly kiss a part of my body that I had never associated with sex before. He looked up at me and smiled. I smiled back.

I suddenly felt pressure on my hips like a push. It jostled me enough that I sat up. Kellan was standing against the wall with his hands on his head, like he was afraid to touch anything else but himself. I looked around confused, blinking my eyes rapidly. What the hell just happened?

“What’s wrong?”

“Are you serious?!” He squeezed his elbows into the sides of his head, grasping his hair tightly in his hands.

“Were we…”

“I thought you were awake. I’m sorry…”

“I was, kind of.”

His substantial manhood still stood at full mast. Even though he was upset, his body told me something completely different. I wanted Kellan. I wanted more. I wanted to be the woman he needed.

I got up slowly from the bed, still naked, and knew that my dream had possibly given an answer and tool for dealing with my past. I kept my eyes on Kellan, still feeling the chill of his saliva on my body. If it was any other person that would’ve been gross, but with Kellan I wanted it all; so much so that even his drying saliva was a turn on.

I kept my focus on Kellan, his face and the utter fear that was there. I knew he thought I was about to run, but he had never shown me anything that made me want to run away from us. When I reached him I felt like I was flying. I felt free in a way I hadn’t in years.

I dropped to my knees, never removing my eyes from his. His mouth parted in shock when my face was right next to his crotch. I held myself just close enough to feel his heat but far enough away not to be touching him…yet.

I put my hands where his mesh shorts met his hips, and pulled them slowly down, exposing his manhood inch by delectable inch. I ran my fingers along his hips and ass, appreciating the tight feel of him. I could smell him, and let the fact that this was Kellan settle over my brain.

He was a wonderful man who had, from the beginning, given me nothing but chances, protection and understanding. I stuck my tongue out and licked the head of his cock. It was velvety smooth. I tasted the precum dripping off the end. He was salty and warm. Still, I never moved my eyes from his face. As much as I wanted to close my eyes and revel in the flavor of him, I knew I couldn’t take that chance.

I moved my mouth down as far as I could take him, reaching about three fourths of the way over his shaft. I let my spit lubricate him, and my hands move from his hips to his shaft and balls. He was everything I thought he would be: long, tight, smooth and delicious. I maintained eye contact as my head bobbed closer then father away, swirling my tongue and sucking him. I could tell he was concentrating, trying, with the utmost difficulty, to keep his eyes on mine. I could feel his balls draw up in my hand as his eyes widened minutely, just enough for me to know he was about to cum.

“Oh God, Mac I’m going to come.”

I continued my work. I knew some women didn’t swallow, but I wanted everything Kellan was willing to give me. I had worked hard to get it. I could tell right before he came, not only by his tightening but also the roar and the head throw he did. It was the first time during the entire encounter he’d moved his eyes off me.

I milked him for all he was worth and when he stopped pulsing I leaned back on my heels. I was so proud of myself. It was the first sexual encounter I’d had since I’d been raped. Kellan made it easy.

Kellan

I wanted to reach down and pinch myself to make sure I hadn’t just dreamt Mac on her knees in front of me. I had my eyes closed and didn’t want to open them quite yet. I needed to revel in the fact I’d just had one of my many fantasies come true. I hoped I hadn’t scared the crap out of Mac while I was groping her. I knew I couldn’t live in a dream, but if I had the choice I would as long as Mackayla was with me. I finally gathered my nerves and opened my eyes. I was, in fact, standing in front of the kneeling figure of the most beautiful woman I’d ever laid eyes on.