Anchored (26 page)

Thoughts spiraled through her mind in chaotic disorder. Her uncle had told her a Christian was anchored to the savior.

She pictured a small boat anchored in the bay. In a storm it was tossed and moved on its mooring. It had to endure the storm but the anchor ensured it survived.

Swinging her legs off the lounger Mia stood and moved quickly into the house to her room. She foraged through her bag for her notebook and then sat on the bed.

The pen tapped on the page as she closed her eyes.
Lord Jesus, help me list all the things I need to think about. Help me take control of my thoughts before they take control of me.

The pen scribbled across the page and several minutes went by as Mia unloaded herself on paper. Dropping the pen she looked at the list.

David’s declaration of love

Mum’s suspicious death / Threats on my life / are they linked?

Dad’s decision for Christ / my relationship with dad?

Work – money

Her eyes stilled on David’s declaration of love. Mia felt the words warm her and her lips curled.

It had been five days since she’d spoken to David. What was she afraid of? Her heart skipped and she sucked in her lower lip. She’d always believed she was not lovable, that there was something intrinsically wrong with her.

Did she think that once David got to know her, he would reject her? Was that it? Was she unconsciously trying to protect herself from being hurt? If she always shunned the possibility of love for fear of being hurt, what would her life look like?

A glimmer of light simmered within her as she allowed herself to hope for a love that never gave up, never let go.

Mia’s lips formed the shape of an o as she realized this was the love Jesus had for her and more. If she was worthy of being loved by God, if he called her precious, daughter, child—then surely she was worth much.

Nodding, Mia moved across the room to look in the mirror.

“I am fearfully and wonderfully made. I have a future in Christ Jesus. I am restored.”

Chapter 40

Shuffling his feet, Jonathan waited for Robert to answer the door and smiled at his brother-in-law as he welcomed him.

“Good to see you, Jon. Come in. Mia’s in the lounge—you know the way, go through.” Robert slapped him on the arm and turned to go to the kitchen.

Jonathan watched him go in amazement.
Lord, if I can be anything like that man I’d be satisfied.

Mia sat with a book opened on her lap; her hands lay idly on top of the pages.

Jonathan’s hand lifted to his heart. She looked like her mother, with the same wavy hair and complexion.

His shoulders sagged as another young girl who had similar eyes flashed into his mind.

“Hello, Mia,” he said softly and wondered what it would have been like if they’d had a normal relationship. Would she have greeted him with a kiss to the cheek? Would he have hugged her? He’d lost the right to act as a father to her.

Robert called out asking Mia to help him with the tray.

Jonathan joined in on the small talk as they sipped their drinks, his nerves rising.

Mia placed her cup down noisily and turned to Robert.

Robert nodded and left the room after smiling at Jonathan.

“Dad, can you tell me about how—” Jonathan watched the struggle on her face and his heart cried.

“Its okay, ask me.” Jonathan rubbed his neck and waited. Whatever she wanted to know—it wasn’t about him anymore.

“I don’t know what I want to know.” Mia paused and frowned. “You never talked about your father. What happened between you?”

“He left when I was young. Just didn’t care enough to stay around. It was just Mum and I most of the time.”

“How old were you when he left?” she questioned.

“Young. I didn’t want him to go and begged him to stay, but he pushed me away. I grew to hate him. He hurt Mum and never loved me. I told myself I didn’t need him, that I could make it on my own. I didn’t care what anyone thought of me, it was all about what I wanted.”

“I’m sorry, I didn’t know.” Mia’s hand lifted to flick her hair over her shoulder.

“Don’t feel sorry for me, I made choices.” His voice hardened and he looked away from her.

“When you were a little baby, Mia, something happened to me. I felt scared. I deliberately stayed out late because I thought if I spent too much time with you I’d hurt you. I told myself you didn’t need me. As you got older and things started to change, I would watch you and want to be with you. I don’t know how I could have let things go the way they did, do the things I did. There is no explaining it. I have tried, but it was just plain evil. It was all my fault, Mia, I gave into it. I’m so sorry.”

Jonathan watched as Mia’s eyes widened and glazed over. She was distancing herself from him. He’d seen her do it a million times and tears welled up in his eyes.

Mia blinked and her tongue flicked over her lips. “What I struggle with is how I never felt loved by you. I know this is my problem, because I remember lots of good things you did for me. I thought I’d worked through this and yet tonight it’s flared up again. I can’t believe I’m talking to you about it,” she stated honestly.

Bowing his head, Jonathan felt as if a knife stabbed into his heart. Go on, tell her the rest of it, and see if she can forgive you then.

Not wanting to listen to the voice tormenting him, yet wanting to rid himself of all the lies that stood between them, Jonathan cleared his throat. “There’s something else I need to tell you.”

Mia held up her hand to silence him. “Don’t. Do you think if you come clean now it will make you feel better? What about me? Are you even considering what I feel? I don’t want to hear any more.”

“You’re going to find out anyway so I’d rather tell you.” His chest constricted and his hand lifted in response. If there had ever been a glimmer of hope for their relationship it would soon be gone, he reasoned.

Mia angled her head away from him.

“I betrayed your mother.” Jonathan felt an instant relief at having spoken the words.

“Mum?” Mia whispered.

“Yes, with Judy. I mean—Klara.” Jonathan stumbled over the words.

“Judy and Klara? Klara Duncan? Tell me it’s not true,” Mia demanded, her voice rising.

“I’ve always called Klara, Judy. It’s her birth name. She became Klara when she was twelve I think. Anyway I decided to call her Judy so I wouldn’t slip when talking to your mother.”

“You and Klara?” Mia stammered and sprang to her feet.

“Yes.” Feeling drained of all energy Jonathan wanted to end the conversation and crawl into a corner and cry.  

The truth will set you free, son. Rest in me.

Mia’s eyes bore into his. “How could you? Klara was Mum’s best friend. Mum trusted her, trusted you.” Her breathing became erratic and she looked away in distress.

“Go. Leave now,” Mia screamed.

Chapter
41

David walked up the path as Terri pulled her jeep into the drive. He could see her scrambling to get out and noticed the silly grin on her face.

“Hey, David, nice flowers. Are they for me?” Terri laughed.

David blushed slightly. “Sorry, Terri. I have another beautiful lady in mind.”

“I thought so, but you can’t blame a girl for trying. Let me go in and tell Mia to come to the door.”

Brushing past David, Terri raced up the path before he could answer.

David looked at the twenty-four red roses and sucked in a breath. His gaze took in the prickly thorns gracing the stem. His finger absently touched the tip of a thorn. Even beautiful roses had the power to inflict pain.

Would Mia accept the flowers? What could he do to crack the wall she lived behind? A frown rested between his eyes.

“David.” Her soft voice called out to him and he looked up. She stood waiting for him with a small smile on her lips. His gaze locked with hers and he caught his breath at what he saw. Hope surfaced and his heart pounded.

“Hello, Mia.” He held the flowers out to her and smiled.

“Thank you, they’re beautiful.”

“No—they’re lovely. You are beautiful.”

Mia blushed and buried her nose in the flowers. “David, I’m sorry I reacted the way I did when you—um, when you told me you loved me.”

“It did damage my ego for a moment,” David laughed. “Sweetheart, I’m not going to stop loving you because things get difficult.”

“I don’t want to hurt you. You’re black and white. You feel something and act upon it. I’m not like that—I need to work it out, think it through.”

“Love’s a choice, Mia. You feel it, sure, but you have to step towards it. You’re frightened.”

“No, I’m not.” Mia’s hands dropped to her side and the flower heads were an inch off the ground.

David’s lips twitched as he took in her stance and prepared for battle.

“Yes you are. I never took you for a coward, but hey, I understand. You’ve been hurt and want to live an insular life free from pain.”

“That’s not true and you know it.” Mia waved the flowers at him. “I have been hurt but I’m no coward.”

“Prove it.” David grinned and his eyes crinkled at the corners. He tried to ignore the thumping of his heart.

A soft moan came from Mia’s lips. She stepped towards him, her eyes determined. “I—”

“Hey, Mia, you’ve got a phone call.” Robert called out. “It’s Ian King and he says it’s important.”

David glanced up at Robert and then back at Mia. “We will finish this conversation.” His eyes softened as he took hold of her hand.

~~~

Mia didn’t want to utter the words. David and her Uncle waited calmly for her to speak while Terri fidgeted on the couch.

“Come on, Mia, what did Ian say?” Terri questioned.

“Klara’s gone missing. They think she’s a serious suspect.” Mia shivered. Who could she trust? She loved Klara and had believed in her all these years.

Moving across the room, she headed for her uncle’s arms, but hesitated when she saw the look on David’s face.

Stopping, she stared at him and the warmth in his eyes drew her. She moved into his arms and rested her head on his chest. The steady beat of his heart comforted her and she lost her heart in the compassion she saw etched on his face.

~~~

The air conditioner had been pumping cool air into the room all afternoon. Alex felt frustrated that they were no further ahead with finding Klara Duncan. Shuffling through his papers he wished the day over.

Glancing up he looked at the clock on the office wall and saw he had another two hours of his shift to go. He could imagine his children in the pool or down at the beach and told himself that after this case was closed he was taking some time off.

Ian slapped another piece of paper down in front of him and Alex groaned. “What’s this? Live Well Clinic, Reynolds Street, Katoomba, Blue Mountains.” Alex rubbed his hand through his hair. “This had better be a lead and not a subtle hint that I need to stop eating curry pies.”

“Get your mind off food and concentrate. Jonathan said Klara visited this clinic regularly and sometimes stayed for up to a week.” Ian tapped a finger on his chin. “Worth taking a look.”

Alex dialed the number and waited. A woman answered and he asked to speak to someone in charge. A man introduced himself as the manager of the center and enquired how he might help.

“I’m Detective Alex Redding, New South Wales Police Force. I’m trying to locate Klara Duncan, who is known to have stayed at your clinic in the past. Is she there at the moment?”

“We have strict privacy guidelines as you can imagine. Without a court order, I would be unable to disclose any information to you about our clients.”

“Right, I’ll organize one. Would it be okay if I asked you a few questions?” Alex asked.

“Yes, I’d like to help you. I would hate to think that someone here was responsible for breaking the law.”

“Do you often have clients that you would class as unstable?”

“By unstable, you mean—?”

“Mind going all over the place, erratic behavior, talking to themselves, that sort of thing.”

“Yes, of course. Many of our residents suffer from such symptoms.”

“Look, I think the best thing we can do is rock up there with a search warrant and that court order you requested. Should only take a matter of hours to secure considering the case at hand.”

“I don’t want our residents upset. Let’s just say I haven’t seen the woman in question for about a year.”

“Thank you. We may get back to you.” Alex hung up and swiveled in his chair to look at Ian. “We have nothing else to go on. Let’s get the court order and take a look around.”

~~~

Judy felt closed in, cornered. The need to get some fresh air overcame the risk of being seen. As she walked she talked. Her softly whispered words blended in with the sounds of the bush.

“Jonathan, Margaret’s death is your fault. If you’d been man enough to leave her she would never have had to die.”

Judy knew this section of bush well and strolled with confidence among the trees, which covered her like a canopy.

“Margaret, don’t you see I love him more than you ever did. You had the name but I had the man. It’s only fair I have a turn as his woman. You didn’t understand him. He needs me—I complete him.” Her hands flapped in the air as she pleaded her case. “Polly, my love—your father is confused, my sweet. If he could see how beautiful you are he’d love you. Mia’s in the way, she caused all this. If she’d never been born Jonathan wouldn’t have married Margaret and we would be a family.”

Stopping, Judy glanced around and realized how far she’d walked. It was getting dark.

She turned and followed the path back. As she approached the barn she heard voices and crouched low to hide.

Two men came out of the barn, one wearing a police uniform.

Silently Judy snuck back into the bush and commended her forward thinking in hiding her car on the old fire road. Hadn’t she been saying last night it was time to execute her plan?

She’d go and talk to Jonathan and tell him she was ready to get married. He’d understand Mia had to die once she explained it to him.