And I Love You (36 page)

“No, I can’t look at you. I can’t let you tell me again that you love me, and you’ll never leave me when we both know you can’t keep those kinds of promises.”

“I do love you, and I can promise I’ll never leave you because I want to. This was a freak accident. Shit happens. I’m a little banged up but mostly fine.”

“You could’ve been killed.”

“But I wasn’t.”

“You do this stuff … rock climbing and snow patrol and skiing and snowmobiling …”

Though every movement caused pain to ricochet through his head, Hunter felt like he was fighting for his life far more than he had earlier on the mountain. Any chance he had at being happy rested in her fragile hands. “I like to do all those things.”

“They’re all dangerous.”

“They’re fun.”

“I can’t live in fear of something happening to you. I can’t do it.”

“Nothing’s going to happen to me.”

“How can you say that when
today
something happened to you?”

“Today was a bad day. Tomorrow will be better. That’s life, sweetheart.”

“I’m so afraid of everything, Hunter. I don’t want to be, but I am.”

“You’ve had good reason to be afraid, but you can’t live in fear of what
might
happen and miss out on what’s happening right in front of you. If you leave me, you’ll ruin my life. Is that what you want?”

“Don’t put that on me after I told you from the beginning that I didn’t want this.”

“I can’t help how I feel any more than you can.”

Hannah poked her head in the room. “Everything okay in here?”

Hunter looked up at Megan, seeking a verdict.

“He’s feisty,” Megan said after a long pause, during which he died a thousand painful deaths. “I guess that’s a good sign.”

Hunter’s chest, which had been tight from not breathing, loosened and allowed in the oxygen he desperately needed. She wasn’t going anywhere. Not right now anyway, but the battle for her heart was far from won.

H
unter was released from the hospital late the next afternoon with orders to take it easy for a week while he recovered from the concussion. The fractured elbow would take longer to heal, but at least he was in a soft cast that could come off for showers. Every inch of his body hurt, but he kept quiet about that so they’d let him go home.

Megan had been by his side since the night before, but he’d been painfully aware of the distance between them. It seemed she was there because she felt she
should
be rather than because she
wanted
to be. She hadn’t said a word to that effect, but he’d felt the vibe just the same.

He understood why his accident had hit her so hard. After years by herself, she’d finally taken a big chance and allowed someone new into her life and her heart. Just when she’d begun to have some faith in their relationship, his accident had her reconsidering everything.

That was all right. As long as he understood the
why
of it, he could figure out the next steps.

Megan drove him home in encroaching darkness in his SUV with Hannah and Nolan following behind. Hannah had insisted on coming with them to help him get settled, and Hunter hadn’t protested because he knew she needed to fuss over him. He’d give her an hour and then send her on her way. He wanted to be alone with Megan.

However, a short time after they had him settled—painfully—on his sofa, propped up with pillows and covered with a warm blanket, Megan announced that she had to leave.

“Where’re you going?” Hannah asked her with noticeable hostility.

“Home.”

“How come?”

“Because I live there.”

“It’s okay, Han.” Hunter reached out to Megan. When she reluctantly—or so it seemed to him—took his hand, he drew her down for a kiss. “See you tomorrow?”

“Uh-huh.”

He released her and watched her every move as she gathered her things and scurried out the door without another word to anyone.

“What the hell is her problem?” Hannah asked, visibly annoyed.

“I know exactly what her problem is, and it’s not your problem.”

“It shouldn’t be yours either.”

“Let me worry about me. You worry about you. In fact, you should go home and get some rest. You look like hell.”

“Thanks a lot. Let’s see how you look when I fall off the side of a mountain and nearly crack open my skull.”

“Are you planning to do that any time soon? I wouldn’t recommend it in your delicate condition.”

For the first time in their lives, Hannah seemed genuinely furious with him. “Wake
up
, will you? She’s being a shit, and you’re acting like it’s no big deal!”

“It isn’t. I understand completely why she’s upset, and as soon as I’m able to, we’ll deal with it. In the meantime, butt out. That’s an order.”

“Hannah,” Nolan said, “maybe we ought to go and let Hunter get some sleep.”

“I’m not going anywhere. He can’t be alone.”

“Yes, I can. I’m fine, except for my blood pressure, which is rising by the minute.”

“His
girlfriend
should be with him tonight. That’s where she belongs.”

“Hannah,” Hunter said again, the warning unmistakable to everyone except her, apparently.

“Don’t ‘Hannah’ me. You know I’m right.” She plopped down on the other sofa, kicked off her shoes and put her feet up. “I’m not going anywhere,” she said with a mulish look for her husband, who sighed as he sat in the rocking chair. “You don’t have to stay. I can handle him.” She used her thumb to gesture at Hunter.

“Where’s Mom when I need her?” Hunter asked. “She could get you out of here.”

“She’s exhausted from worrying about you, so Dad took her home to get some sleep. I’m sure she’ll be here to hover first thing in the morning.”

“Excellent,” Hunter said, resigned to being fussed over by everyone other than the one person he wanted fussing over him. If only he weren’t so damned exhausted and still drugged up. He’d be at her place by now, fighting for them the way he always had. That wasn’t in the cards tonight. But tomorrow … Tomorrow he’d get someone to take him to her so they could fix this before it got any worse.

Megan was relieved to see the lights off in Nina and Brett’s house, where they were camping out on an air mattress for their final nights in Butler before they left for France. The house was empty and would be turned over to the new tenants at the end of the week. Nina had told her they were a newly retired couple who were thinking of relocating to Vermont but wanted to experience a winter before they committed to anything permanently.

Nina assured her they were nice people. Megan was sure they were, but what did it matter? They weren’t Nina and Brett, who would be living thousands of miles from her by this time Wednesday. She trudged up the stairs, unlocked her door and nearly jumped out of her skin when Nina appeared on the other side.

“What the hell, Neen? Are you trying to give me a heart attack?”

“Nope. Just waiting for you to get home.”

Megan flipped on a light, which made both sisters wince from the sudden brightness. “How did you know I was coming home?”

Nina gave her that knowing look she did so well. “You were primed to bolt before he ever left the hospital. When we went to see him this morning, he told me you’d be home later and you’d be upset. I promised him I’d be here for you.”

“It’s irritating that he thinks he knows me so well.”

“He does know you that well. He knew you’d be out of there the minute you could.”

Megan flopped down on the sofa. “I’m a horrible person.”

Nina sat next to her. “No, you’re not. You’re reeling from what happened, which is understandable. To a point.”

“What does that mean?”

“It means it’s okay to be upset about what happened to him. It’s not okay to walk away from him when he needs you. That’s not okay, Megan, and if you care about him, which I think you do, you need to be with him right now. Not hiding out. I thought those days were over.”

“So did I until I heard he got hurt and I was suddenly right back there.”

“You had a scare, and you reacted emotionally. I get it. But now you have to ‘man up,’ so to speak, and do the right thing. He’s in love with you, Meggie. How do you think it made him feel to see you leave tonight?”

Megan pressed the heels of her hands to her eyes. “It’s all too much for me. I knew it would be. I told him that. He overwhelms me.”

“He loves you.”

“I didn’t want him to.”

“You love him.”

“I didn’t want to.”

Nina laughed and put her arms around her. “Tough shit, kid. You’ve fallen in love with a wonderful guy who loves you right back. It’s time to step up for him the way he would for you. Where do you think he’d be right now if you’d been the one who got hurt?”

Megan knew exactly where he’d be, and the realization had her standing to go into her bedroom.

Nina followed her. “What’re you doing?”

“Packing.” She threw clothes and pajamas and some of the silky underwear Hunter had bought her into a bag. From her bedside table, she grabbed her e-reader and tossed it into the bag. “I’m going back over there.”

“He’ll be happy to see you.”

“I know.” Megan hugged her sister. “Thank you.”

“It’s okay to love him, Meggie.”

“I’m starting to believe you might be right about that.”

“I can delay my flight for a few days if you think you’ll need me.”

“Absolutely not. There’s no need for that.”

“Are you sure?”

“Positive. Go. Have a wonderful adventure, and don’t worry about me.”

“Right … That would be like telling me not to breathe.” She hugged Megan again. “We sign the papers for the sale of the diner first thing in the morning, and then we’ll stop by Hunter’s to see you on our way out of town.” They were going to Boston tomorrow and would fly to France from there on Wednesday.

“I’ll be there.”

Megan followed Nina down the stairs, said goodnight to her sister and got into her car to drive the short distance to Hunter’s house. She knew he’d be glad she’d come back, but beyond that she didn’t know what to expect. All she knew for certain is that she needed to be with him. With the world spinning wildly out of control around her, one touch from him calmed and quieted the chaos in her mind.

She could do this. She
would
do this. She would try her best to be what he needed and deserved. Using the key he’d given her, she let herself into the house, which was lit only by the light he left on all the time in the kitchen. The living room was deserted, so she started up the stairs only to encounter Hannah on her way down.

“So you came back.”

“I did.”

“Good.”

“You’re pissed with me.”

“I’m baffled, Megan. Truly.”

“I … I care about him. I really do. I’ve never cared about anyone the way I care about him. I’m sorry if I’m not handling it the way you would.”

Hannah sighed, and some of the rigidity seemed to leave her posture. “It’s good that you came back.”

“Is he … He’s okay?”

Hannah nodded. “He was in some pain, so we gave him another pain pill before we got him up to bed. He’s likely to be out of it for a while.”

“That’s okay. If you want to go home, I’ll be with him if he needs anything.”

“And you won’t suddenly decide to leave in the middle of the night?”

Megan shook her head. “I’m not going anywhere for as long as he needs me.”

“That could be a really long time. Are you prepared to stay that long?”

Megan looked up and forced herself to meet the challenge in Hannah’s direct gaze. “Yeah, I am.”

“Fine, then we’ll go, but we’ll be back in the morning.”

“I’ll be here.”

“Megan … You don’t have to handle this the way I would, but I’m asking you, as someone who loves him with every fiber of her being, please be kind to him. He’s one of the best men I’ve ever known, and if he loves you, that makes you very, very lucky.”

“I know that, Hannah, and I will be kind to him. I’m sorry if you thought I wouldn’t be. Hunter’s accident triggered some unpleasant memories for me, which isn’t his fault. That’s all on me. I’m dealing with it.”

“I understand all too well how the past can overshadow the present, and I’m here if I can help.”

“That’s very nice of you. Thank you.”

Hannah went back up the stairs so Megan could get by. “I’ll see you in the morning. Feel free to call if you need us during the night. Hunter has the number.”

“I will, but we’ll be fine.” As she left Hannah in the hallway and went into Hunter’s room, a sense of calm came over her. They would be fine. All she had to do was stop teetering on the edge of the cliff and just jump. The thought nearly made her laugh.
All
she had to do …

A night light cast a warm glow over the room, which was how she could see Hunter sleeping on a pile of pillows with one propped under his casted left arm. His other arm was thrown over his head, leaving his magnificent chest bare to her greedy stare. He was so beautiful, inside and out, and Hannah was right that Megan was lucky to have won his heart.

She went into the adjoining bathroom to change into pajama pants and a tank. After brushing her teeth, she moved gingerly to get into bed next to him, wanting to be nearby if he awoke during the night and needed her.