And Then It Happened: An Unexpected Romance (4 page)

“Why?”

“I don’t know anyone who’d want to do that for me.”

“I’d do it,” Adrian offered. “I’m not ashamed. It’s completely natural and I’m totally comfortable in my skin.”

I shook my head so adamantly that I grew dizzy. “You’re not going to do it.”

He stared at me. “Why not?”

I seemed to have offended him by my refusal and I didn’t know why.

“Because…” I couldn’t admit that being with him in a room while he was naked would be too much for me so I said, “…Because you’re not what I’m looking for.”

“How so?” he asked around another spoonful of ice cream.

I hated how many questions he was asking because I was starting to crumble under his scrutiny.

“You’re just not…You’re just not…well…”

He stared at me and I stared to stutter, so I clamped my mouth shut.

“So that’s your reasoning? I bet you were in debate club in high school. You know what? Here let me show you,” he said, suddenly pulling his shirt over his head, his bowl of ice cream discarded on the floor.

“What are you…now…what?”

“Again with the illuminating argument,” he said with a smile as he began to unbutton his pants. I diverted my eyes, wanting to call a halt to this whole thing, but utterly intrigued at the same time. I thoroughly studied the floor until I gathered enough courage to peek up
at him through my lashes.

“I’m perfect for this. I’ve never posed for an art piece before,” he said shoving his underwear down his hips, exposing himself to me.

I nearly expired on the spot. He was gorgeous, absolutely stunning. It’s a good thing we didn’t have models like this in art school or nothing would have gotten done.

“See,” he said, completely comfortable with his nudity as I squirmed. “What do you think?”

“Oh my god, put your clothes back on,” I managed to utter, unable to keep my gaze on him because doing so was just making me red all over.

“Come on. Take a good look,” he said and I could hear the smile in his voice.

Despite his teasing, I couldn’t do what he asked.

“Here let me get hard…” he added with a chuckle and I inhaled and exhaled loudly a few times to get my bearings straight. This was too much. This was way too much.

Thankfully my phone rang, piercing the tension building with in me and I immediately deflated. I answered it without even looking at who was calling.

“Hello?” I said breathlessly, turning to gaze at the wall.

“Um, Jane?”

It was Craig making his weekly contact. Normally I looked forward to hearing from him despite what he’d done to me. He had been my best friend for over eight years, but he couldn’t have called at a worse time. I didn’t want him hearing Adrian in the background and then asking questions I didn’t want to answer.

“You okay?” He sounded concerned and I inhaled deeply three times, finally able to control my breathing.

“Oh, I’m fine, Craig” I managed to say as Adrian strode completely naked over to me. My breathing once more accelerated.

“Who is it?” Adrian asked and I waved him away, not wanting to explain myself to either of them. But it was too late.

“Who’s that?” Craig asked, concern lining his voice. “Do you have someone there?”

Tell him it’s some guy you’re screwing. Tell him.

“Oh it’s just a friend,” I said and Adrian’s eyebrows rose.

“We’re friends?” Adrian asked, causing Craig to cough uncomfortably.

“Just…put your clothes on,” I hissed which only made matters worse. Adrian chuckled as Craig muttered something on the other end of the line.

“Craig…I’m…” I began, but he cut me off.

“Look, I just called to say happy birthday and to make sure you’re okay, but it seems like you already have plans…”

“Craig,” I began, upset with Adrian for making things awkward and upset with Craig for being surprised that I was capable of moving on.

“I’ll let you go. Have fun and happy birthday, sweetheart,” he said and Adrian, who was now standing behind me snorted loudly.

“Sweetheart?” Adrian asked in my ear and I shoved my elbow into his ribs, causing Adrian to grunt.

I wanted to explain that Adrian was just my obnoxious neighbor who happened to be standing nude in my house, but Craig had already hung up.

I turned and shot Adrian a look. “Really?”

“Who the hell was that?” Adrian asked, his hands folded across his chest, looking more amused than anything.

“That was my boy…my ex,” I amended.

“You had a boyfriend?” He sounded genuinely surprised.

“Put your clothes on,” I said angrily, offended that he didn’t think I was capable of snagging a guy. I wasn’t that hideous.

When he made no move to do as I’d asked, I strode intently toward his clothes and threw them at his body. He caught them in his muscular arms and sent me a questioning look.

“What?” I asked as he stood there watching me.

“Why’s your ex-boyfriend calling you sweetheart?”

“Because that’s what he’s always called me.”

“So I take it you didn’t break up with him,” he said, as he
, thankfully, pulled on his underwear. Spending anymore time staring at his cock was going to make me hyperventilate. “Are you still pining away for him?”

I hated that Adrian had figured me out with relatively little information. I really needed to become a better liar…or at least become unpredictable.

“Whatever. I don’t want to spend my birthday being analyzed by you.”

He shrugged. “Fine, I get it. No one wants to hear the hard truth.”

“Ugh,” I grunted, spinning on my heels and nearly stomping out of the room. How had he suddenly invaded my space like this? Was he really that much of a charmer that he weaseled his way into my life with little to no effort?

Yes. Yes
, he is. Yes, he did, and you’re falling for it.

I strode down to the kitchen and poured myself a glass of wine. I needed to drink my obnoxious thoughts away and gain some perspective. The only problem was that a few minutes later Adrian was standing next to me and all rational thought fled.

“You’re still here?” I asked, taking a sip of my drink and setting it on the counter, only to have it swooped up by Adrian.

He took a large swig and I frowned at his grimace.

“Wine is terrible,” he said as he gulped loudly and wiped his mouth.

“Then why are you drinking it?” I asked, grabbing my glass back.

“Because I was thirsty.”

I rolled my eyes to the ceiling and feigned annoyance.

“Go drink some water then and stop drinking my expensive wine.”

“It tastes like a three dollar vintage.”

I sighed heavily. “It was a forty dollar wine.”

He shot me a look. “Yeah, wouldn’t have guessed that.”

“You’re a barbarian.”

“You think so?”

“Yeah,” I replied trying unsuccessfully to repress a genuine smile.

“Thanks,” he replied, his
lips tugging up into his signature lopsided grin.

“You’re welcome,” I said as he
pushed himself up onto the counter.

“So…” he said, his fingers tapping a rhythm on the counter, his long, muscular legs dangling in
the air.

“So…” I mimicked.

“You’re killing me with the suspense.”

“What do you mean?”

“You going to ask me to model for you or not?”

I shrugged, smiling sincerely this time. “If I can’t find anything better.”

He shook his head with a smile. “Great. I’ll start tomorrow.”

Chapter Three

Two Months Ago

“Damn piece of crap, garbage sucking lunatic, piece of garbage…” I muttered as I unsuccessfully tried to break into my house. Two days ago, I had taken my car
to the shop and had taken my car keys off my keychain. I’d forgotten to put them on, which was why I had locked myself out of my house. I’d forgotten my house keys were on the kitchen table and not in my purse.

“You said
‘garbage’ already,” a voice behind me said.

I jumped up, knocking my knee against a tree stump.

“What are you doing? Why are you sneaking around?” I nearly yelled, rubbing my knee as I glared at Adrian.

“I’m not sneaking. I was walking by and saw you trying to break into your house.”

“Well, you can’t break into something you own.”

“Right, well you still look ridiculous doing it.”

I shot him my meanest stare. When I purchased the townhouse near downtown Fullerton I hadn’t expected my neighbor to be so attractive. After he’d helped me carry in my furniture that day, I’d harbored a secret crush on him. That is until the noise next door started to elevate. The moans of women being fucked by him had carried through my walls and into my dreamless sleep. The lack of restful sleep had made me irritable and moody.

“You know what’s ridiculous?” I asked, turning around and putting my hands on my hips. “The stuff I hear through my walls
all day and night.”

Adrian’s eyebrows arched. “And what do you hear?”

“Oh Adrian,” I said in a high falsetto voice, “Do me harder. Spank me, baby. You are so hot…”

Adrian’s face broke into a smile. “Ah
, you do that pretty well. Like listening to it, don’t you?”

“I do not. Just...just go away. I have to concentrate.”

I turned back around, my face flaming. It was already hot enough outside. I didn’t need Adrian making me sweat.

“Here, let me,” he replied, stepping beside me. “I used to be a boy scout.”

“Yeah right,” I snorted, as he pushed my hands away.

“I’m not lying,” he replied, shimming the bottom of the window and fiddling with the hinges before pulling it up as if he’d done this a million times.

“How did you do that?” I asked, my mouth dropping open.

“Magic,” he replied, with a genuine smile. “Now get inside before someone calls the cops.”

I watched as he took two steps back, his arms folded across his chest. Despite his questionable personality and his late night sexcapades, he wasn’t that bad. Perhaps we could be friends after all. 

“Thanks,” I forced myself to say.

“How about next time you put a spare key somewhere so you don’t lock yourself out again.”

I’d thought about that already, but didn’t say it. Instead I began to make my way inside and that’s when I heard it.

“Nice ass by the way.”

I lost my balance and fell onto the floor. Damn Adrian. Damn. Damn. Damn.

Nope. Never. We could never, ever be friends.

***

When I got home from a morning run a few days later, a note with the words TEXT ME and a number scrawled below it was stuck to my door. I knew immediately it was from Adrian. I’d put off setting up a time to have
him model for me. The feelings I had when I was around him were a little too intense and after spending time with him on my birthday, I knew I needed to keep my distance. Because being around Adrian was dangerous. I could easily see myself liking him and then getting shoved to the side by someone with bigger boobs, longer legs and a smaller brain.

You like him already.

I sighed. It was true. Underneath his annoying sense of humor was a really sweet guy who had been willing to spend my birthday with me. A person who bought me a present –two presents if you include the vibrator. I didn’t know what his game was, but underneath all the teasing and the questionable sense of humor he seemed like a genuine guy.

As I took the stairs up to the bathroom, I put his number in my phone before shooting him a text.

Hey. It’s Jane. You ok?

Janet? I’m fine. Just wanted to see when you wanted me to come over to model for you.

As I thought about my response, my phone rang. Craig’s name popped up on my screen and I frowned. I’d completely forgotten about him all week, my thoughts consumed with finding a job and Adrian. Just seeing his name caused irritation to bubble to the surface. For the first time since the break up, I wished he wouldn’t bother keeping in touch. After all, he was the one who’d broken up with me because he’d found someone else. His calls, which used to seem sweet, were now just annoying.

Still, I swiped at the screen, answering the call.

“Hey, Craig,” I said, forcing a smile on my face.

“Hey, you busy?”

I shook my head before replying, “No. I’m not. What’s up?”

“Why do you sound preoccupied? You with that guy again?”

I sighed heavily. “Craig, you broke up with me. If I’ve moved on, it’s none of your business.”

I liked how confident I sounded. I heard my phone beep, signaling that I’d received another text. It beeped again as Craig blathered on and on. Had he always been so long winded? Geez, I was about to kill myself just to end the conversation.

“I know that things ended badly between us, but I still worry about you…”

My phone beeped again. “Craig, look I need to go. We’ll talk later,” I said, interrupting him.

I didn’t even bother to say goodbye. I just hung up on his protest and glanced down at my phone.

Jane?

Are you avoiding answering my question?

Or are you talking to Craig?

I rolled my eyes at his assumption as I texted:
I wasn’t talking to Craig.

Liar. I can hear you through the wall. Why is he always calling you?

He’s worried about me, I guess.

Yeah right. He’s a dick-bag. He probably misses the sex.

Yeah right. He left me for someone else. I’m sure he’s getting plenty of sex.

I doubt it. If he were, he wouldn’t be calling you. He’d be too busy fucking his rebound.

My heart thumped awkwardly in my chest and I rubbed it away.

It doesn’t matter. Things between us are over. And plus the sex wasn’t that good anyways.

After I hit send I just stared at my screen. I can’t believe I’d been so honest. How embarrassing.

Well, you were telling the truth
.

The sex wasn’t good? Tell me more about this.

No. No way. That’s all you get. It’s over now. No need to dredge up the past.

You sure it’s over?

I paused for a moment, thinking it over before nodding resolutely. Things between Craig and I were over. I was finally ready to move on. There had to be someone out there for me. Someone who would love me for who I was, awkwardness and all.

Janet?

Yeah?

Adrian didn’t respond for a few minutes, so I set my phone on the bed stand and hopped in the shower. I needed to set my initial expectations low with Adrian. I didn’t want to end up hurt or disappointed. We weren’t even friends and I needed to remember that.

When I got out of the shower, a single message blinked up at me.

You sure?

I smiled as I sent the reply.

Yes.

***

“I signed you up for a dating website,” my best friend Sadie said over the phone. Sadie and I had been friends since college. She’d lived on my floor and we connected over romance novels and coffee. Her phone call was our weekly check up to make sure neither of us ended up too pathetic. Like going out and buying a cat and watching a marathon of Golden Girls on TV.

“Seriously? Why would you do that?” I asked as scrounged around the cabinet for a K-cup.

“Because you need to get over Craig and I signed myself up and thought you could do it with me. ”

My eyebrows met in annoyance. “But I don’t want to meet guys online. I want to meet them organically.”

“When does that happen anymore? Never, is when. So I went ahead and signed us both up because we are becoming pathetic. I e-mailed you your log in information.”

I sighed as I pressed the button to make myself another cup of coffee. Adrian finally had another long night of fucking next door. It had been over a week of silence and I was just starting to assume he was taking a vow of celibacy when it started. It happened slowly with muffled voices and the sound of something falling onto the floor, but then it had escalated until I was pressing my hands against my hot cheeks, wishing it were I on the other side of that wall and not a beautiful bimbo.

I couldn’t help but stay awake when I heard the slapping of skin and the girl’s screams of pleasure. I would never admit it, but for some reason it had turned me on. The vibrator stayed in its drawer, however. For some reason, masturbating to Adrian screwing some other girl was a little too kinky for me.

“Well, have you gotten any responses yet?” I asked Sadie, pushing Adrian from my mind.

“Yep and check yours to see if you have anyone interested.”

“Later,” I said even though I was powering up my laptop as we spoke. I might have been annoyed that Sadie interfered lik
e this, but I would be lying if I said I wasn’t intrigued by the whole online dating phenomenon.

“Fine. Fine, but keep me updated. I want to know how your dates go.”

“Will do,” I said, as I lowered myself onto a chair and signed into my online dating profile. Thankfully all my information was correct and my description was not overtly weird. Sadie and I had been friends for years and she knew more about me than I knew about myself. Clicking on the top right corner, I was surprised to find that two men had e-mailed me about meeting up. Neither of them looked too crazy or too old. Nervously, I clicked ‘respond’ and ended up setting up a time and place to meet nearby.

Maybe my Prince Charming wouldn’t be found organically, but on the online forums in cyberspace. Sadie was right. I needed to move on and there was nothing like a budding romance to forget about a broken heart.

***

Judith. What’s your favorite part of a guy’s body?

I stared at my phone as my heart thumped loudly in my ears. It was eleven o’clock at night and I was in the middle of a romance novel when
Adrian texted. I quickly placed my book beside me and sat up, crossing my legs and tapping my fingers against my mouth.

Why?
I responded to buy me more time.

Because I’m curious. You’re an artist. I’m sure you’ve paid big bucks to stare at flabby men
with small dicks in art classes, right?

I smiled despite myself, but before I could respond he texted
,
And you can’t say ‘the eyes’. That’s a copout answer and completely unacceptable.

Fine. I like the forearms.

Forearms? Lame.

Well, it’s what I like. What’s your favorite part of a girl’s body?

I was pretty sure he was going to say ‘ass’ or ‘boobs’ and was surprised when he replied,
Mouth.

Really? I wasn’t expecting that.

You thought I was going to say tits or ass, huh?

Yes.

Those come in a close second. Now next question: If you could see through a guy’s clothes what would you look at?

What is this? 20 Questions?

Yes, eighteen more to go. Now answer the question.

Probably his thighs.

His thighs? Jesus, Jane. Remind me never to let you become superhuman. You’d use your powers exactly the wrong way.

I glanced toward the wall, wondering what he was doing and typed back.
Well, what do you suggest I look at then?

His crotch. You’d want to know if he could satisfy you sexually.

I tapped my bedspread before asking,
Well, what would you look at on a girl?

Her tits.

I sighed.
Of course you would.

Now you ask me a dirty question.

Is this considered sexting?

The lame kind. Now go.

I wracked my brain for something naughty before typing
Have you ever felt horny while texting?

I’m horny all the time. So yes. Have you?

No.

Never? Not even now?

I wasn’t going to admit that, yes, I kind of was at the moment so I texted,
Never.

We’ll have to rectify that. Now…
do massages make you horny?

I flushed at his question.
Like in a massage parlor? No.

I didn’t mean a massage parlor, Jane. Stop avoiding the question. If I were to come over and give you a massage right now would you get turned on?