And Thereby Hangs a Tale (16 page)

'I've found the most beautiful woman on earth,
and if she'll have me, I'd like her to become my wife.'

Robin boarded the boat back to Jersey the following
Friday, despite having failed to answer his mother's third question: 'Has this young
lady agreed to be your wife?'

The only thing Diana had agreed to was to join
him on the dance floor for a quickstep, but during those three minutes Robin
knew he wanted to hold on to this woman for the rest of his life. 'I'll be
coming back next weekend,' he told her.

'But the team are playing away at Wentworth next
Saturday,' she remarked innocently.

Robin was surprised to find Diana standing on
the quayside when the ferry sailed into the harbour the following Saturday.
Whom had she come to meet, he wondered, and only hoped it wasn't another man.

When he stepped off the gangway, Diana gave
him the same warm smile that had remained in his mind for the past week.

'I wasn't sure you believed me when I said I'd
be coming back,' he said shyly as they shook hands.

'I wasn't sure you would,' admitted Diana, 'but
then I thought, if the poor man is willing to give up a weekend's golf just to
spend some time with me, the least I can do is meet him off the boat.'

Robin smiled at the thought that he couldn't
even remember who Southend were playing that day, and took Diana's hand as they
walked along the causeway.

If you had asked him how they spent the weekend,
all he could remember was reluctantly climbing back on the ferry on Sunday evening,
after kissing her for the first time.

'See you same time next Saturday, Diana,' he
shouted down as he leaned over the railings, but the boat's foghorn drowned his
words.

Diana was standing on the quayside the
following Saturday, and every Saturday until Robin stopped taking the ferry
back to Weymouth.

During the week, Robin would book a trunk call
so they could speak to each other every evening. Diana spent her spare time
looking at properties in St Helier that might meet his requirements. She
finally found a shop on the high street whose lease was about to expire, with a
hotel across the road that needed to change its bed linen and towels every day,
and several restaurants that believed in spotless napkins and fresh
tablecloths. Robin agreed that it was the ideal location to open a branch of
Chapman's Cleaning Services.

The following Saturday he signed a threeyear
renewable lease, and immediately moved into the flat above the shop. If he hadn't
won Diana's hand by the end of the lease, and also become a member of the Royal
Jersey Golf Club, he would have to admit defeat, return to the mainland and
open a second branch of Chapman's in Southend.

Although he was confident that, given time, both
challenges would be surmounted, becoming a member of the RJGC turned out to be
a far more difficult proposition than getting Diana to agree to be his wife.

It didn't take long for Robin to qualify as
a playing member of the Royal Jersey, and he was delighted when Nigel invited
him to represent the club in the hotly contested local derby against Guernsey.
Robin won his match, and proposed to Diana that night.

'What if you hadn't been picked for the team?'
she asked, unable to take her eyes off the small, sparkling diamond on the
third finger of her left hand.

'I'd have whisked you off to England and sunk
the Weymouth ferry,' said Robin without hesitation.

Diana laughed. 'So, what are my champion's plans
for conquering the old guard who make up the committee of the Royal Jersey?'

'They've granted me an interview next month,'
he told her, 'so we'll soon find out if we're going to spend the rest
of our lives in St Helier or Southend-on-Sea.'

'Don't forget that only one in three people who
apply for full membership even get on to the waiting list,' Diana reminded him.

Robin smiled. 'Possibly so, but with Lord Trent
as my proposer, and your brother as my seconder, I must have a better than
onein-three chance.'

'So that's why you asked me to marry you,'

Diana said, still staring at her ring.

When the appointed hour came for Robin to appear
before the committee, he admitted to Diana that he had never been so nervous, even
though everyone seated on the other side of the table seemed to smile whenever he
answered their undemanding questions, and nods of approval greeted the Englishman's
detailed knowledge of the life of Harry Vardon.

Ten days later, Robin received a letter from
the club secretary to say that his application had been successful and his name
would be placed on the waiting list.

'The waiting list?' said Robin in
frustration.

'How long do they expect me to hang about before
I become a member?'

'My brother warned me,' said Diana, 'that if
you weren't born on the island, it usually takes ten to fifteen years.'

'Ten to fifteen years?' repeated Robin in disgust,
before adding, 'Lord Trent wasn't born on the island.'

'True,' said Diana, 'but at the time the
committee was looking for a new president, preferably with a title, so they
made him an honorary life member.'

'And are there any other honorary life members?'

'Only Harry Vardon,' replied Diana.

'Well, I'm no Harry Vardon,' said Robin.

'There's one other way you could
automatically become a life member,' said Diana.

'And what's that?' said Robin eagerly.

'Win the President's Cup.'

'But I was knocked out in the second round last
year,' Robin reminded her. 'In any case, your brother's in a different class to
me.'

'Just make sure you get to the final this
year,' said Diana. 'I'll fix my brother.'

Robin and Diana were married at the local parish
church later that summer. The vicar agreed to conduct the ceremony on a Sunday,
but only because the Royal Jersey had a crucial match against Rye on the Saturday.

Robin's father, mother and brother had
travelled over on the ferry from Southampton earlier in the week, and they
spent a happy few days getting to know Diana. Long before the day of the
wedding, Sybil fully understood why her son had wanted to return to Jersey
after one dance. When the bride walked down the aisle, she found that the
ceremony was so well attended that extra chairs had been placed at the back of
the church.

Mr and Mrs Chapman left the parish church of
St Helier as man and wife, to be greeted with a shower of confetti thrown by
Diana's friends, while two rows of young men in RJGC blazers held up golf clubs
to form an arch all the way to their waiting car.

The reception was held at the Royal Jersey, where
Malcolm delivered such an accomplished best-man's speech that it came as no
surprise to Robin that Chapman's of Southend continued to flourish in his absence.

Lord Trent rose to reply on behalf of the guests.
He let slip the worst-kept secret on the island when he told everyone that the newly-weds
would be sailing around the French coast on his yacht for their honeymoon, but
only for ten days, because Robin needed to be back in time for the first round
of the President's Cup. Diana couldn't be sure if he was joking.

When Mr and Mrs Chapman sailed into St Helier
ten days later, the skipper informed Lord Trent that Robin had turned out to be
such a good sailor that he had allowed him to take the wheel whenever he needed
a break.

The following day, Robin was knocked out in the
first round of the President's Cup.

Robin and Diana quickly settled into their new
home on the seafront, and for the first time since he'd arrived in Jersey,
Robin had to walk to work. Eleven months later, Diana gave birth to a boy whom
they christened Harry. 'Will you do anything to become
a member of that damned club?' Diana asked her husband as she sat in the
hospital bed surrounded by flowers and cards from well-wishers.

'Anything,' replied Robin, picking up the sleeping
baby.

'Well, I have one piece of information that might
speed up the process,' said Diana, smiling.

'And what's that?' asked Robin, handing the suddenly
screaming infant back to its mother.

'My brother tells me that the St Helier
lifeboat is looking for a new crew member, and as you spent more time at the
helm of Lord Trent's yacht than you did in our cabin, you must be an obvious
candidate.'

And how will that help me get elected to the
Royal Jersey?' enquired Robin.

'Guess who's president of the RNLI?' said
Diana coyly.

The day after Robin failed to make the third
round of that year's President's Cup, he filled in an application form
to join the crew of the lifeboat.

Robin's interview for a place in the
lifeboat turned out to be not so much a meeting as an endurance test. John
Poynton, the coxswain, put all the applicants through a series of rigorous
trials to make sure only the most resilient would want to return a week later.

Robin couldn't wait to get home and tell
Diana how much he'd enjoyed the whole experience, the camaraderie of the crew,
the chance to learn new skills and, most important, the opportunity to do
something worthwhile. He only hoped the coxswain would take his application
seriously, despite his lack of experience.

When the time came for Mr Poynton to select
his new crew member, he unhesitatingly placed a tick by one name, telling his
bosun that young Chapman was such a natural he wouldn't be surprised if the man
could walk on water.

As the weeks passed, Robin found himself enjoying
being tested by the rigorous drills the crew were put through on the high seas.

Whenever the klaxon sounded, the crew were
expected to drop everything and report to the boathouse within ten minutes.
Robin could never be sure if it would be just anoth-er dry run, or if this time
they would be going to the aid of someone who was genuinely in distress. The
coxswain regularly reminded his crew that all the hours of hard work would
prove worthwhile when someone called for their assistance, and only then would
they discover which of them could handle the pressure.

It was the middle of the night when the
klaxon sounded, waking everyone within a mile of the boathouse. Robin leapt out
of bed in the middle of a dream, just as he was taking a putt to win the
President's Cup. He switched on the light and quickly got dressed.

'Off to see your other girlfriend?' enquired
Diana, turning over.

'All eight of them,'

Robin replied. 'But let's hope I'll be back
in time for breakfast.'

'You'll be back,' said Diana. 'After all, it's
the final of the President's Cup on Saturday, and as you're playing my brother,
you may never have a better chance of winning.'

'I beat him in my dream,' said Robin as he picked
up his bicycle clips.

'In your dreams,' said Diana, smiling.

Robin was pedalling frantically through the empty
streets when the klaxon sounded a second time. He pedalled even harder.

He was among the first to arrive at the
boathouse, and the look on the coxswain's face left him in no doubt that he was
about to experience his first distress call.

'We've had an SOS from a small sailing boat that's
capsized just off the Arden Rock,' the coxswain told his crew as they pulled on
their oilskins and sea boots. 'It seems a young couple thought it would be fun
to sail around the bay after midnight,' he grunted.

'I'll be launching in a couple of minutes.'

None of the crew spoke as they climbed on board
and carefully checked their stations.

'Knock her out!' the coxswain called to the head
launcher once the last crew member had given a thumbs-up.

Robin felt a rush of adrenaline pump through
his body as the lifeboat made its way across the lapping waves inside the
harbour.

Once they had passed the breakwater, the boat
reared up and down in the open sea.

None of the crew showed any sign of fear, which
gave Robin confidence. They had only one thing on their minds as they each
carried out their separate duties.

The lookout was the first to spot the
capsized yacht. He pointed and bellowed against the high wind, 'Nor' nor'west,
skipper, about three hundred yards.'

Robin felt exhilarated as they edged slowly towards
the capsized vessel. All the drills they had practised during the past months were
about to be put to the test. As they came alongside, Robin stared into the eyes
of a terrified young couple, who couldn't believe there were eight people on
that little island who were willing to risk their lives to rescue them. But
however much the coxswain shouted at them to catch hold of one of the grab
lines, they kept clinging to the keel of their sinking yacht. Robin began to
feel that nothing would make either of them let go, and, if anything, the boy
looked even more terrified than his girlfriend. The waves refused to let up,
making Robin wonder how long it would be before the coxswain decided his own
crew was in just as much danger as the yacht. They tried one more time to
manoeuvre the lifeboat alongside the stricken vessel.