And You Call Yourself A Christian (11 page)
Read And You Call Yourself A Christian Online
Authors: E. N. Joy
Chapter Nineteen
“How are my little angels?” Lorain placed kisses all over her twin daughters' foreheads. With the death of her grandsons, she was not taking any given moment for granted. Tomorrow was not promised. Heck, not even tonight was promised.
“Your little angels just about ran their granny ragged.” Eleanor wiped invisible sweat off of her forehead as she sat down on her couch. “Lord, it's so cute when they start walking, but I don't know about chasing they little behinds all over my house. And they get into everything.” She looked at the chubby faces of her grandchildren, who were in all actuality her great-grandchildren.
At first, Eleanor was anything but pleased with the idea that her only child was expecting a baby; but not one that she would be giving birth to herself. Out of all the random women at New Day Temple of Faith Lorain could have asked to carry her child, she'd picked, according to Eleanor's standards, the most ghetto thing up in there. And besides, allowing another woman to carry her child for her just didn't seem natural in Eleanor's eyes.
As if that weren't enough to deal with, through a little church gossip, word got back to Eleanor that Unique wasn't some random woman at all; she was actually Lorain's child. She was the child Eleanor never knew her daughter had because she'd hid her teenage pregnancy. And when the baby was born, Lorain threw it in the trash can, leaving the baby for dead. As a matter of fact, for years Lorain had thought the baby had died, but she would learn otherwise.
To add salt to the wound, Eleanor had to deal with the fact that not only had Lorain gotten pregnant and had a child at the age of thirteen, but it had been by a grown man; a trusted school counselor. If
that
wasn't enough to handle, unbeknownst to Eleanor, the retired principal she'd just married was that man. Eleanor didn't find all of this out until her late husband's death, and it had been a hard pill to swallow. But now, as she looked at the twins, her grandchildren legally but her great-grandchildren biologically, nothing else mattered anymore.
that
wasn't enough to handle, unbeknownst to Eleanor, the retired principal she'd just married was that man. Eleanor didn't find all of this out until her late husband's death, and it had been a hard pill to swallow. But now, as she looked at the twins, her grandchildren legally but her great-grandchildren biologically, nothing else mattered anymore.
“So, y'all been giving Granny Eleanor a hard time?” Lorain said to the twins in between kisses. “Did y'all?” She began tickling them. The smiles on each of their little faces were priceless.
Tears formed in Lorain's eyes as she squeezed the girls close to her. She was holding them so close, so tightly, that she squeezed the smiles right off their faces. The girls began fidgeting and clawing at Lorain.
“Lorain, honey, you're smothering them.” Eleanor got back up off the couch and went over and rescued her grandchildren. Shooting Lorain a half-evil, half-concerned eye, Eleanor grabbed each twin by the hand and began escorting them into the kitchen. “Come on, Granny's babies. Let me go put y'all in y'all's highchair and give you another snack before Mommy whisks you away.” Eleanor and the twins disappeared behind the kitchen door.
Mommy. I'm somebody's Mommy
, Lorain thought. She sat there on the couch, picked up a throw pillow, and hugged it like it was a real person. She might have been somebody's Mommy, but Korica would always be there to remind her that she wasn't Unique's. Korica had even made that very clear at the funeral.
, Lorain thought. She sat there on the couch, picked up a throw pillow, and hugged it like it was a real person. She might have been somebody's Mommy, but Korica would always be there to remind her that she wasn't Unique's. Korica had even made that very clear at the funeral.
“You didn't leave a stone unturned,” Korica had said to Lorain after the burial, when everyone else was making their way to their cars. Just the two of them stood over the triple graves.
“It's everything Unique wanted,” Lorain sniffed, wiping her eyes with the handkerchief someone had slipped into her hand while at the viewing earlier that day.
“Everything she ever wanted, huh?” Korica never took her eyes off the boys' graves. She stared straight on, as if looking at the woman standing next to her was the last thing she wanted to do. “And you don't think it's a little too late for that; giving Unique everything she wants? After all, the girl will be twenty-six years old before we know it. She's not a baby anymore. You missed those years.”
Korica seemed to have enjoyed saying that very last statement far too much. Too much for Lorain to do the Christian thing and let it slide.
“And from what I hear, so did you,” Lorain shot back. “How old was she when you bought her? Or was she sold to you? I can't remember.”
“Oh, so you want to go there, do you?” Korica bobbed her head up and down slowly as she allowed her tongue to make a popping noise against the roof of her mouth. “I guess the fact of whether I bought her or sold her is irrelevant. She would have never ended up in foster care in the first place had you not thrown her away like she was garbage. Everything she wants included the love and the care of a mother, which is what I gave her.”
“Yeah, you and the woman who sold her to you in the first place; or whatever arrangement it was the two of you schemed up.” Lorain put her index finger to her temple and began tapping, as if trying to recollect something. “Oh yeah; I remember. The real foster mother and her husband moved away, only they didn't want to take Unique with them. Only they didn't want to give up the check the state was paying them either. So that's when you decided you'd keep Unique and the check. The system was so messed up that you got away with it. But I bet had that check stopped, you would haveâ”
“Thrown her away like her birth mother did?” Korica snarled, this time staring right into Lorain's eyes. “Never. You might have been able to live with yourself knowing that this,” she pointed to one of the graves, “that this right here could have been your baby ... could have been my Unique, but I couldn't.” She looked Lorain up and down. “And you call yourself a Christian. Well, maybe you and your mama should have asked what would Jesus do, because I'm sure He wouldn't have thrown out the baby for dead, like a murderer.”
“Stop it! Stop it right there!” Lorain yelled. Her pastor, who was quite a few feet away talking to the funeral director, looked Lorain's way momentarily, but then continued her conversation.
“You want me to stop?” Korica was using a whiny voice. “Oh, but baby, I'm just getting started. Trust me, the mommy lion's fangs are about to show.”
“But why? I don't get it. Why are you so bitter toward me?”
“Why? The fact that you have to ask makes it even worse.” Korica let out a tsk sound. “Aren't you Christians supposed to serve this all-knowing God?” She lifted her hands up to heaven in a mocking way. “Then ask Him.”
“I'm choosing to ask the devil instead.” Lorain glared at Korica so that there would be no doubt about whether she was being referred to as the devil. “So what's your deal?”
Korica appeared to be filled with so much anger as she turned her body to face Lorain. She began speaking through gritted teeth while pointing in Lorain's face. “My deal is you waltzing back into Unique's life like this born-again saint who can do no wrong.” Korica looked over Lorain's shoulder at her pastor. “Does your reverend know your dirty little secret?”
“As a matter of fact, she does.” Now what? was what the expression on Lorain's face read.
“Yeah, but I bet your entire church doesn't know. I bet you haven't gone down to the altar and testified.” Korica threw her hands up and leaned back, faking being touched by the Holy Spirit.
“So is that what this is about? You want me to tell the entire world how it is that I'm ...” Lorain pointed at herself in the chest, “... Unique's real mother?”
“Puhleeze. Real mother, my foot.” Korica looked Lorain up and down as if she stank. “You might be the woman who spit her out from between your legs, but I'm her real mother. Need I remind you who she told the guards at the jail she wanted to see first?” Not that there was much space between Lorain and Korica, but Korica was surely closing in the little space there was. “I'm the one who all those years ago sacrificed being able to take care of my own flesh and blood so that I could take care of yours.”
Korica was starting to become emotional, and she tried her best to fight it off. “We struggled, I mean, struggled. There were times I had no idea where our next meal would come from. And there were times I had to do the unthinkable in order to make sure my kids had a meal. And when there wasn't enough for me to eat, I had to pretend I had a stomach ache or something and didn't want to eat anything. Then there was boosting and doing everything under the sun to get them school clothes so they wouldn't be teased and talked about. But a new pair of shoes and a couple outfits from the Ten Dollar Store can only go so far.”
The more Korica spoke, the angrier she got. Soon tears of anger erupted from her eyes. “And what's her real mother doing? Off living in some condo, getting the Holy Ghost every Sunday and pushing Mary Kay cosmetics like some white woman in the 'burbs.” Korica, embarrassed that she'd been brought to tears, turned quickly back to face the graves and sharply wiped her tears away.
“You make it sound as if what I did didn't affect me either,” Lorain told her. “Well, it did.”
“Well, I can't tell. All I know is that I'll be darn if I just sit back and watch you take over the reins after all I've done to raise Unique and those boys.” Now Korica broke down from grief after staring at the boys' small caskets.
“Look, I can't take back what I did. All I can do isâ”
“Repent and ask God for forgiveness.” Korica finished Lorain's sentence sarcastically. “Yeah, that's what all you Christians do. Live a hellish life, then take a shower in Jesus' blood, and it all washes down the drain. Yeah, I get all that, but guess what? I ain't Jesus, and I ain't forgiving or forgetting about nothing. And neither is Unique. And if I have to keep reminding her who Mommy is, who the real mother who raised her is, then so be it.”
“You do what you need to do,” Lorain said nonchalantly. “But nothing you do will ever change the fact that I am the woman who carried Unique in her womb for nine months. I am the woman whose veins pump the same blood as Unique's.” This time Lorain closed in the space between her and Korica. “I am the woman who, by law and any other definition, is Unique's mother. Point-blank ... period. So if you can't get that through your head, then I don't know what else to say to you.” And on that note, Lorain began to walk away.
“Thank you,” Korica mumbled.
“What?” Lorain turned back around to see what else this woman had to say.
“Thank you.” Korica turned and glared at Lorain with sadness in her eyes. “You could have said thank you. That would have been nice.” Korica brushed by Lorain, leaving her with plenty to think about.
So much to think about that that is exactly what was consuming Lorain's mind at this moment as she sat on her mother's couch.
So much to think about that that is exactly what was consuming Lorain's mind at this moment as she sat on her mother's couch.
Was she so hell-bent on making sure that the world knew she was Unique's mother that she never stopped for one minute to think about what life must have been like for the woman who stepped in and took care of Unique? Korica was right. It didn't matter how it came about that she would raise Unique as one of her own. The fact remains that she did it. And it was at that very moment that Lorain realized she did owe Korica a thank you. But her flesh also reminded her that for now, it would be a cold day in hell before she gave it to her.
Chapter Twenty
The twins were down for the night, and Nicholas and Lorain were sitting on her living-room couch enjoying a movie. Well, Nicholas was enjoying the movie. Lorain's mind was a million miles away.
Nicholas burst out into laughter. “Oh, my goodness, that was hilarious, wasn't it?” Lorain didn't reply. “Wasn't it, baby?” He nudged her. “Wasn't that the most hilarious thing you've ever seen?”
Snapping out of her daze, Lorain replied. “Yeah, yeah, that was too much. That Tyler Perry is something else.”
Nicholas twisted his lips in disbelief at the sincerity of Lorain's statement. “Really now?”
“Yeah.” Lorain looked at the television, pointed, and feigned laughter. “See, there. Ha-ha. Whew.”
There wasn't a trace of laughter anywhere on Nicholas's face. “Lorain, that scene was a serious funeral scene. So what did you find to be so funny about that?”
Busted, Lorain didn't know what to say.
Nicholas took the remote and turned the television off. “That's it. Spill it. What's on your mind?”
“Nothâ”
“And don't say nothing. I'm tired of hearing that. It's obvious that something is weighing heavy on your mind, and I'd wish you'd stop lying to me. How do you expect us to build on this relationship if we can't even tell each other the truth about something as simple as what's going on in our lives?”
Taken aback, Lorain replied to Nicholas, “Did you just call me a liar?”
Nicholas thought for a moment. “No, I didn't exactly say that, but if the shoe fits ... If lying is what you're doing to me ...”
“For God's sake, Nicholas, my grandsons just died, and my daughter is locked up in jail being held responsible for their deaths. Not to mention the world thinks she's some crackhead or crack dealer or both. People look at me sideways on the job every day and whisper after I walk by. And you expect me to just sit here and enjoy a movie like all that isn't going on in my life?”
“No, I expect you to let me know all of what is going on in your life. That's why I'm here, baby. Didn't you believe me when I told you? I mean really, how many times do I have to say that I love you and that I want to spend the rest of my life with you? You're the one who can't seem to reciprocate here.”
Lorain put her hands up. “Look, Nicholas, I'm not going to go there with you; not right now.”
“Then when? Because I'm tired, Lorain.”
“And what's
that
supposed to mean?”
that
supposed to mean?”
“Just what it sounds like.” Nicholas stood. “Look, I've told you from day one that I wasn't out to just date. I can date anybody. I wasn't getting in this thing for just dinner and a movie every now and then, and a couple of conversations on the phone. I was looking for a wife. And if you knew you couldn't fit the bill, then you shouldn't have allowed me to waste my time this long.”
Lorain was appalled. “Waste your time? Is that what I am to you, Nick? A waste of time?”
“Don't try to play the victim, woman. I know you too well for that, and you, my dear, are nobody's victim.” He looked her up and down. “Besides, it doesn't look good on you.”
“So you think this is a game to me?” Lorain was now standing with one hand on her hip and the other laying at her side.
“I don't know what to think anymore.”
“Me, neither, Nicholas. Me neither.” Lorain couldn't believe how he was coming at her, and all because she wasn't paying attention to some movie. This was a side of Nicholas that she'd never seen before. He'd been so understanding thus far, and now, when she was dealing with so much in her life, he decided to flip the script.
At this very moment, Lorain couldn't help but to think divine intervention had taken place at the hospital on the day she was going to tell Nicholas that she was ready to marry him. Of course, she wished the situation that pulled him away from her hadn't been what it was. But it was what it was, and right now, it is what it is.
“Look, I think maybe we betterâ” Lorain honestly had no idea what the next words that were going to come out of her mouth were. The interruption of the ringing telephone kept Nicholas from knowing too. Lorain held her index finger up at Nicholas and went to answer her phone.
“Lorain, is that you?”
“Who else would it be, Ma?” Lorain hadn't meant to get out of the pocket with her mother.
“Excuse me?”
“I'm sorry, Ma. It's just that Nicholas is here andâ”
“Oh, my goodness!” Eleanor exclaimed. “You know, with so much going on in the last couple of weeks, I haven't had a chance to talk to Nicholas. Put him on the phone.”
Lorain looked at Nicholas. “Mom, I don't think this is a good time to talk to Nicholas ...” Lorain's words trailed off once Nicholas signaled for her to go ahead and give him the phone. “It's my mom,” Lorain warned in a whisper.
“I know.” Nicholas nodded as he reached out for the phone. He just adored Eleanor. He thought she was classy, sophisticated, and more unpredictable than a firecracker with a short wick. Maybe talking to her was what he needed to up his mood. “If it isn't the lovely Eleanor,” he greeted into the phone receiver.
“If it isn't my future son-in-law,” Eleanor shot back.
“Well, uhâ”
“I know both you and Lorain could just strangle me. I haven't really congratulated either one of you on the engagement. But I'm sure, considering the circumstance, you both can forgive me. Besides, I'm sure neither one of you really got to bask in the idea of actually being engaged; not with what happened to the boys and all.” Eleanor sighed. “Of all days for it to have happened, it was on the day Lorain finally put that ring on her finger and came up to your job to make things official.”
Nicholas's heart dropped, and his eyes shot over to Lorain's hand. He didn't know what Eleanor was talking about, because on the hand he was looking at, the ring finger was still vacant of his engagement ring.
“I was too happy to oblige when Lorain asked if the twins could stay with me that day while she came up to your job to make the engagement official. I can only imagine the look in your eyes when you saw that ring on her finger. My God, the Lord sure is able. I mean, I never thought my baby girl would settle down, would find a man worthy to be her husband.” Eleanor then made clear, “Now, I'm not saying you aren't a worthy catch, Nicholas. You are a fine young man indeed. Any woman is a blessed woman to be able to call herself your wife. But my Lorain has been through so much. She deserves it, she really does. She deserves the best, and you, Nicholas, are truly the best son-in-law a mother could ask for her daughter. The way you've just stood by her side is so admirable and ...” Eleanor was so overcome with emotion that she couldn't even get her words out. “Look, I need to go get myself together. Tell Lorain I'll call her back.”
“Oh, I'll tell her all right,” Nicholas assured Eleanor while glaring at Lorain.
“Bye, dear.”
“Bye-bye, Miss Eleanor.” Still looking at Lorain, Nicholas ended the call and handed her the phone.
Lorain took the phone with hesitation and was about to put it back to her ear.
“She said she'll call you back.” Nicholas shot her a cold stare.
“What ... What is it?” Lorain fumbled hanging the phone up because she was too concerned with why Nicholas was staring at her that way. What in the world could her mother have possibly said to bring about this reaction from him? She'd find out soon, but would it be soon enough?
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