Andrea Pickens - [Lessons in Love 03] (32 page)

His knife ceased cutting the slab of bacon on his plate into mincemeat. "Er, yes," he mumbled, although he had absolutely no idea what had just be asked. "Of course."

"You see!" She looked back to Octavia with a triumphant smile. "There is no need to put off the planned drive through Hyde Park just because Olivia and I must call upon poor Lady Crenshaw, seeing as her gout has taken a turn for the worse. I told you Alex would be delighted to serve as escort to you and the children."

The thought of the four of them together, just like old times, caused his throat to constrict for a moment. It was not exactly the private moment he had been hoping for, but given the swirl of Sheffields that had surrounded her of late, it was, at least, a step in the right direction.

Octavia must have caught the tightening of his expression, for her own face became a bit pinched. "Perhaps Mr. Sheffield had other plans—"

"Of course Alex had no other plans. And if he did, he would simply have to change them." Olivia took a bite of her toast. "It is a perfect morning for such an outing. Nothing like a bit of bright sunshine and fresh air to clear the head and invigorate the spirit. Now run along, both of you, before any grey clouds blow in to spoil the opportunity."

As Alex rose, he could have sworn that both of his relatives gave him a surreptitious wink.

The carriage was brought around without delay and the little party was soon tooling through the gates at Park Lane. Olivia's pronouncement was indeed correct—the day was mild for so late in autumn, the sun a large, buttery orb whose radiance took all the chill from the brisk breeze. Alex found himself wishing his mood might feel nearly as bright, for while the children kept up a steady patter of exuberant comments, Octavia had yet to utter so much as a word.

Perhaps his sisters-in law had better regroup and come up with a different strategy....

"Oh look!" Emma leaned out of the open landau to get a better view of the ducks paddling about the serpentine.

Nicholas took out a sack of breadcrumbs from his coat pocket. "Would you like to stop and feed them? Aunt Olivia says they will come eat right from your hand."

Her hands clapped together in delight. "Really?" she asked, her eyes going wide as saucers. "May we, Alex?"

"Of course we may."

No sooner had the coachman drawn the team to a halt by the graveled path than the two children scrambled down from their perch and lit out for the water's edge.

For a moment, the two adults sat in awkward silence. Alex tugged at a corner of his scarf, cursing himself for a coward. Daunted by her refusal to meet his gaze, he hesitated, but knew he would despise himself forever if he didn't make some sort of move to thaw the coolness between them. "Er, would you care to take a stroll? I imagine they will be occupied for some time."

Octavia considered the suggestion for what seemed to be an age before giving a frosty nod.

Repressing a sigh, he handed her down from the carriage and offered his arm. They walked on for a bit, only sound between them the brittle crunch of their steps on the stones. A sideways glance at her rigid profile caused his shoulders to sag just a touch. Hell's teeth! It might be an easier task to chip through the frozen Neva River than to melt her chill reserve.

However, after another few steps, it was Octavia who finally broke the ice. "Your family have been quite wonderful, what with the kindness they have shown to a total stranger. I am extraordinarily grateful to them for all their thoughtfulness."

"Yes." A faint half smile played on his lips. "So am I."

The enigmatic comment sparked an odd flash of emotion in her eyes. Then she blinked and it was gone, leaving him to wonder whether he had only imagined a spark of their former rapport.

"The earl has been most generous in his assistance with Emma's situation. He thinks it may soon be resolved," she continued softly. "And your sister-in laws have told me not to worry about my own future, as they are in the process of arranging a new position for me."

He stopped in his tracks. "Position?"

"Why, y—yes. Something more... permanent, they said. There is no guarantee that Emma's new guardian will want to retain me as her governess." From a distance came a peal of laughter from the children and she turned to watch them scatter crumbs across the placid water. "I shall miss them a great deal—even the pouts and squabbles." Her mouth quirked upward. "Indeed, I shall even miss those hours spent listening to Mrs. Radcliffe's prose, despite its penchant for waxing melodramatic."

A lock of hair had blown free of her bonnet as she spoke. Alex reached out to tuck it back in place, then let his hand linger on the curve of her cheek. In that instant, he decided to throw caution to the wind. "Octavia, please—will you consent to listen to a few fumbling words of mine? Lord knows when I shall have another chance to speak to you alone. And while my command of the English language will no doubt pale in comparison to that of children's favorite novelist, there are things I must say to you, no matter how awkwardly they are phrased."

* * *

Octavia felt a flash of heat run through her as his fingers grazed her skin. How she had missed the warmth of his company! Not just his physical presence, but his quirky humor, his gentle kindness, his fierce compassion. Even his all too human weaknesses, for he had the courage to face them, despite his efforts to appear the unrepentant rake.

She finally looked up, and the sight of the sensuous lips, lean jaw and dark, ruffled locks caused the breath to catch in her throat. On second thought, she had to admit that his physical presence had a great deal to do with the fact that her knees were in danger of folding like an overcooked soufflé!

He seemed to take her inability to speak as a sign to continue.

"I never lied to you, Octavia. At first it seemed prudent to keep my family connection a secret from everyone. Then, when I knew I might trust you with our lives, I remained silent out of concern that the knowledge might put you and Emma into danger if we were apprehended by Nicholas's pursuers."

"I... suppose that makes some sense," she allowed.

"And to be totally truthful," he went on in a near whisper. "I also feared breaking the camaraderie I felt had developed between us. I thought you might like me less were you to know I was from a prominent family, rather than someone dependent on wits and pluck to survive in the world, like yourself."

Her brows arched in utter surprise. This was not at all what she had expected to hear. "You cared whether I... liked you?"

Alex could no longer attempt a measured, rational explanation. His words spilled out in a flood of emotion. "Why do you think I sought to drown myself in a sea of vodka at the end? You had frightened me half to death by charging into danger with no thought for your own safety. And then the thought of being parted, of never seeing you again...." His jaw set. "Like a cravenly coward, I ran from the idea, sinking myself so low in your eyes that—"

"You are no coward, Alex," she interrupted softly. "Far from it."

"Oh, not in any physical sense, I suppose," he replied with a bittersweet smile. "But I lacked the courage to tell you my true feelings and therefore deserve to have you despise me. I have no doubt you would have rejected me out of hand, but at least I might have retained a shred of your respect had I told you then that... I love you."

"L-love," stammered Octavia, feeling her face turn as white as a Russian snowfall, save for two spots of color high on her cheekbones. He was speaking so softly she knew she must not have heard him correctly. "Surely you didn't say
love
. That's impossible! Why, you think me shrewish, stubborn, opinionated, meddlesome—"

"Wrong, my obstinate darling. I think you compassionate, caring, principled and entirely too brave for your own good."

Onlookers were beginning to show a decided interest in their conversation, some of them staring quite openly. "P-perhaps we should continue this conversation in the privacy of your carriage." Feeling none too brave at the moment, she sought some delaying tactic to regroup her defenses. "Let us call to Nicholas and Emma—"

"Privacy? Ha! There is not a snowflake's chance in Hell that I am going into that carriage with you, not until I have finished saying all I wish to say without the children comparing on my every word to that of some damn storybook hero. With my luck, they would probably be reading the passage where Valancourt, bumbling idiot that he is, manages to win his lady's heart with some eloquent speech, making me feel even more of stuttering fool than I already do."

Alex paused long enough to take hold of her arm and pull her behind one of the stately elm trees lining the path. "Flowery sentiments do not flow off my tongue as easily as they do from Mrs. Radcliffe's pen, my dear. I'm not some perfect hero, but a man with so many faults you have probably ceased counting... "

A strange sound caused him to halt in mid sentence. "You..." He peeked under the brim of her bonnet. "Octavia, you aren't... crying, are you?"

"Of course not." Her sleeve scraped against her cheek. "It must be the spray from the fountain."

She had no chance to finish. Alex's mouth came down hard upon hers. "Lord, you are more intoxicating than any of the spirits I have ever tasted," he whispered as his lips drank in the salty tears and the sweetness of her shy smile. With a muffled groan, he pulled her closer. "Dare I hope, sweeting? After all, you have not yet felled me with a jerk of your knee."

Rather than lash out, Octavia allowed the passionate embrace to wash away the last of her resistance. Her lips parted to deepen the kiss and her fingers, which had been poised to deliver a resounding slap, crept up to twine in the silky softness of his unruly locks. "Oh, Alex. I imagine I can recite every one of your faults, starting from the time you accosted me with that first drunken kiss. They are what make you human, rather than some character with no more depth than a sheet of foolscap. And they are far overshadowed by all your admirable qualities." She lowered her lashes, which were still wet with tears. "Now it is my turn to be honest—I think you the most wonderful man in the world."

His arms wrapped her in a bear hug.

"But Alex," she managed to squeak, even though he was holding her so tightly she could scarcely breath. "Things are rather more complicated than our own feelings. There is your family and position in Society to consider. And all the details of seeing that the children are settled with the right family."

Alex smiled. "I have been busy in Town these last few weeks, but not in the manner that you implied when I met you at the docks. With my brother and my uncle lending their influence, I have managed to convince Emma's trustees that she would be better off with a guardian that truly cares for her welfare, even if he isn't a blood relative."

"He?" she repeated.

"Me, actually. She seems to have grown rather fond of Nicholas, and as I also mean to look after the lad, I thought she might prefer being with us to the company of strangers."

Octavia felt her heart give a lurch. "You wish to give up your life of a carefree gentleman about Town to take on the responsibility for two children?"

"Well, I hoped I might have a little help." He gave a crooked grin. "You see, one of the reasons Emma's trustee's agreed to the arrangement was that I told them I soon hoped to be a respectable married man."

Her insides were now doing full-blown somersaults.

"And as for my previous existence, it no longer holds any appeal for me," he continued. "William was kind enough to offer me one of the minor Sheffield estates in Devon when I told him I wished to serve as guardian for Nicholas. I thought the four of us might enjoy a comfortable country life together, without being attacked by armed ruffians, frozen in raging blizzards or squaring off against Bonaparte's army."

"The four of us?" Octavia knew she was sounding rather slow-witted, but the idea was taking a little while to sink in.

"Well, I imagine we will be adding to that number soon enough." A twinkle came to his eyes. "I have always wanted... a dog."

She couldn't repress a burble of laughter. "You are an incorrigible rogue."

"No. Not anymore." His face became serious again. "For too long I had been a castaway, lost at sea, adrift in a raging storm. But then I finally saw the bright beacon of a safe harbor in all the darkness, one that has helped guide me back to solid ground." He pressed a kiss to the palm of her hand. "You are truly the light of my life, Octavia. I should like to spend the rest of my days with you. And Emma and Nicholas and children I hope we may have of our own."

"I cannot think of anything I should like more." Her cheek came to rest on his shoulder. "For one who claims no talent for words, you have certainly written a storybook ending."

Alex gave a chuckle. "We really must see that the children take to reading less sensational literature. Something from the Bard, perhaps." He thought for a moment. "I have it—
The Tempest
!"

Octavia looked up and brushed a kiss against is cheek. "I was thinking more of
All's Well That Ends Well
."

The End