Angel Blackwood (3 page)

W
here the hell did
that come from? These wolves are definitely rubbing off on
me.

I watch
Talon look around as if he heard me;
I know he won’t track my scent due to the crazy wind. He looks over
the girls shoulder. It’s a distant look in the wrong direction but
it doesn’t last long, seconds later his eyes meet the girls face
infront of him.

He smiles and my heart
drops.

“No way, Luce. The fates
definitely made a mistake with this one.” I notice the smile he
gives her is the same one I’ve been using on many occasions these
past few months. It’s forced, but the girl doesn’t realize it. I
can feel the lie as soon as he says it, just like I felt it when
Tyler lied. This time I’m not sad, I’m furious.

I turn, standing straight
up, squaring my shoulders and refusing to look at the love birds
any longer. My hurt is transformed into something more wild, more
feral and something uncontrollable.

Rage.

I can feel the little
flames of silver in my eyes and I welcome the burn, I breathe it
in.

I
continue my way over to the forest
not even caring if Talon sees me. It’s really dark in the woods,
even though it’s about three in the morning. The wind is manic now,
trees are swaying and the bark is creaking.

Out of nowhere,
I’m forced to hunch over
due
to a sharp pain in my chest. My heart feels as if it’s about to
explode as I fall to my hands and knees trying to catch my breath.
This pain is similar to the pain I felt when I was rejected by Jax,
but this time the pain starts to move throughout my aching body. My
entire body is sweating, but it’s cold out. My fingers fumble to
get my jacket off and I quickly throw it to the side. Sweat drips
into the sand infront of my eyes, I wipe my forehead and move my
hair away from my face; it’s soaking wet.

What the hell
is happening to me?

Chapter 2:

Three Months Ago

I’ve been home
for a
week since Drake
attacked me, leaving me behind in this town to find someone that
can help him control his wolf, Sebastien. My feelings are all
fucked up and all I want right now is to be left alone.

I can’t even
use the term
moody
to describe the temperamental
attitude I’ve had since I found myself in this
situation.

I’
ve been absolutely
miserable, I don’t know how to fix it and I don’t know if I even
want to.

Everyone
wants to know what happened at Point
Bright, but I refuse to speak about it. I will not get any more
people involved when it comes to my problems.

The bruises and
scratches healed eventually
,
but my lower back and ass are permanently scarred. Drake marred my
pale skin with ugly pink marks when he whipped me. I’ve been
thinking about getting some ink to cover the ugly scars he left
behind because no amount of vitamin E oil will repair the skin; I’m
not even sure I want them gone… it’s a reminder to never second
guess myself again.

I should have
listened to my gut t
he first
time Drake slammed me up against a door. I knew I should have
broken up with him, but I didn’t. It’s entirely my fault, no amount
of what-ifs will heal all the wounds he engraved into my flesh.
That’s something that will haunt me for the rest of my
life.

I could have prevented it…

After
refusi
ng to let the twins into
my bed since the day Alex found me all bruised up, and after
continuously pushing the them away, they began putting distance
between us. At the time it was what I needed, I had no idea what
that void would do to our relationship in the future.

I barely
allow
Alex and Johnny to touch
me, so there’s no way in hell I can even envisage the twins hands
on me. I guess Drake got what he wanted after all. I can’t even
think about Talon and Tyler without going into a full blown panic
attack.

Sometimes I
find myself waking up in a cold sweat all because I dreamt about
that night I kissed the twins
;
I’m so afraid Drake will find out about my dreams. I’m constantly
looking around, scared he’s lurking around a corner ready to jump
me for thinking about anyone other than him.

There isn’t a
minute, hell,
every second I’m
thinking about the threat he made to hurt the all the people I
love. His words
“No more
Alex… No more Johnny…”
linger
in the back of my mind, giving me the chills… and not the good kind
either.

I love the
twin
’s and my parents more
than I cherish my own life at this point, the thought of Drake
harming any of them causes a twisted pain in my chest.

In the
beginning
, the twins tried
talking me into leaving my room, but I just couldn’t physically do
it; too afraid to abandon my little safe haven. If it wasn’t for
Alex and Johnny coming into my room and force feeding me every day
the first two weeks, I would have most probably starved.

I was so mad at
Drake: 1
- for what he did to
me and 2 - for leaving me behind and running away like so many in
my life have done before him; especially after
he
was the
one to hurt me. Deep down I know he didn’t run away, he left to get
help and subconsciously I have a little respect for him for doing
it. If anything, I’m mostly disappointed in myself for allowing him
to hurt me the way he did, running to him just two days later and
begging him to stay like a love sick puppy. I was in panic mode and
all I could think of in that moment was,
another one bites the dust
…

First it
was
James who left me, then
Georgina with her downward spiral, Jax was next and when I saw
Drake packing his bag and I panicked.

I know it’s fucked up but
I miss him; Drake that is. Maybe I miss the Drake I had before
Sebastian became so dominant within him or maybe I’m trying to
force myself to love him because I’m kinda stuck with him. I know
what the consequences will be if I leave him and I will not have
anyone hurt because of me. I’ve already messed up so much and
broken many friendships because of it, I’m just one big fucking
mess.

As the
weeks progressed, the twins slowly
but surely started avoiding me. I saw Drake a few times and even
though I was petrified, he managed to calm me. He looked well and
seemed really happy, which weirdly made me feel better and less
worried the more I was around him; it made me believe my old Drake
was back.

He was gentle
and sweet and made me feel loved and not so
alone. He apologised constantly and asked me if I
loved him about ten times a day, as if to reassure himself. After a
while I even started believing the lie
myself
.

I mended my
relationship with Ronny and Chloe and
even though things are still a bit awkward between us, I
know they still love me and I love them; possibly even more so now,
knowing they stuck around even after all I had put them
through.

As for Jax? Not even a
blip on my radar…

The twins aren’t around
as often these days. Johnny finally managed to get me to leave my
bedroom a few days ago. He wanted me to train and work out instead
of sitting holed up all day. All the training Johnny gave me
previously didn’t do shit when Drake was holding me down that
night. He was too strong and powerful for me to even think I could
over power him let alone physically do it.

I don’t know
why Johnny
can’t see that when
a weak human like me comes across a big bad wolf, a few kicks here
and a couple slaps there don’t amount to shit. But I don’t tell him
that because he seems to enjoy spending time with me, teaching me
all the self-defence techniques that may work perfectly on a human
but flat out fail against a possessive angry he-wolf; most probably
a she-wolf too.

The
o
nly thing I can really rely
on when it comes to defending myself is the supposed white magic
that’s hidden within me, even though it doesn’t seem
so pure
when I’m squeezing the life out of another. But I’ll
stick to the term white magic because I don’t know what the hell to
call it.

I heard Alex
talking to Johnny today about Talon and
Tyler’s girlfriend’s. I wasn’t aware they were even
dating, but why would I when we haven’t spoken in weeks. I guess I
deserve the hurt I feel and the tears that fall when I hear about
how much Alex doesn’t like the new girls;
despite the boys falling hard for them.

This
is what I wanted after all, wasn’t
it? I mean… I did push them away. I suppose I just didn’t realise
what it would feel like when I finally pushed them away for good.
I’m just glad I don’t have to see these girls as they don’t seem to
bring them to the pack house.

I know I love
Talon and Tyler
. Deep down,
despite the jealously within me, I want them to be happy. Since
I’ve only brought them trouble since I’ve arrived, I’m hoping their
girlfriend’s are everything they deserve. I don’t like to think
about it though. I don’t want to think about them with someone else
and I certainly don’t want to talk about it, it causes a pain in my
chest and makes me question every choice I’ve made when it comes to
Drake.

My nerves have
gotten the best of me these
last few days anticipating my birthday. I’m so afraid of
what will happen. Will I even shift? And if I do, will I survive
it?

T
he twins have started
to act a little strangely too, these last few days. They’ve been
hanging around the house, maybe they’re also worried I won’t
survive the shift so they’re trying to see me as much as they can;
just in case… Just in case I don’t make it.

They don’t
speak to me and they’re always a safe distance
away
, but I can feel their
eyes on me wherever I go. Strange as it may sound, it comforts me
that they still, in some weird way, care about me; even after I
blatantly shut them out. I miss them terribly but I can’t bring
myself to talk to them, getting close to them again just in case
Drake finds out. I need to keep my distance.

I haven’t heard
a word from Georgina and I haven’t bothered
to ask Frankie how she’s doing either.

When
s
he’s ready she will contact
me… well that’s what I’m hoping for.

She and I have
a lot to discuss if we ever want to mend our broken relationship. I
will always l
ove her and see
her as a mother; even if she isn’t my biological one. Before we can
repair broken bridges though, we need to figure out if that bridge
can carry the weight of baggage that lies between us, to see if we
can let it all go, if it’s even possibility.

Can it ever become water under
the bridge?

Chapter 3

The
Present
Day

I look ahead of
me, seeing
the moons
reflection shining off the lake through the trees. I roll to my
side not caring about the dirt beneath me as I pull my shoes off. I
need to cool down and hopefully the lake will do just that. I
manage to get onto my two feet. I’m hunched over, leaning against
the rough bark on the tree, my hand resting on my chest over my
heart.

I’ve never had
this reaction
to the white
magic before, I don’t know what’s happening to me. My entire body
is on fire and I’m in so much pain. I’m a few feet away from a
clearing that leads to the lake, but I just can’t make myself move
any further. I fall to the ground again, lying on my side as the
sand sticks to my wet skin.

Just a little further… I need
to get to the water…

I
dig my hands into the dirt and start
pulling myself closer and closer towards the glistening water. My
vision loses focus and all I can hear is the whistling of the wind
through the woods. I cover my ears to stop the white noise, pulling
my knees up to my stomach as I lay in a fetal position screaming
out for the incessant noise of the wind to stop.

My back is the
first
thing to bend into an
unnatural angle; the cracking sound echoing inside my
ears.

I
cry out in pain, my vision fuzzy. I
scream as loud as I can, praying for someone to help me, but the
sound of the wind and the forest smothers all my cries.

“Calm down
Angel…you need to survive this,”
a female voice whispers. ^I can almost feel her running her
hands down my hair soothingly.

I must be going
crazy because
even with my
blurred vision I can’t see anyone around, but the woman sounds as
if she’s speaking right into my ear. I don’t know what’s happening
or where she came from.

“You’re
shifting my love and
I’m
going to help you get through this…” the
woman gently says.

“Who are you?”
I
cry out, as I feel the bones
in my body breaking. The sound alone is enough to make me scream,
picturing how horrible my body must look as I snap into different
angles.