Angel Blackwood (46 page)

“What? No hug for me?” I hear
Axel says as we walk away.

I pack a bag and tell the boys
I just want to get outta this place, I’m grateful they don’t ask
questions.

As soon as we get back to the
pack house I ask the boys if they want to shift and go for a run,
happily they decide to join me. We spend the rest of the afternoon
lazing around by the lake and running through the forest. I haven’t
seen Tyler all day and I’m not sure what I will do when I
eventually have to lay eyes on him.

Nixon and Axel are sitting by a
small bonfire in the back yard. I flop down on the log between the
two of them and notice the beers in each of their hands. I take
Nixon’s but he snatches it back. Axel hands me his and I down the
rest of it, letting out an unladylike burp. I cover my mouth and
giggle. The boys chuckle and Axel pulls another beer out from his
cooler bag. He offers me one, but when I see Nixon frown at the
gesture, I decline. We sit there quietly in the dark listening to
the crackle of the wood as the flames take it.

“Still don’t wanna talk about
it?” Axel says, nudging my shoulder gently. I look up at him then
turn back to look at the fire.

“It was horrible... but it was
great too. It’s like on one hand I kept wishing for it to be over,
but on the other I didn’t want him to stop. He took away all the
pain. He did exactly what I asked of him, but if that’s what it
feels like to have sex, I don’t wanna do it again.” Nixon whips his
head to look down at me and Axel frowns. I continue, “Don’t see
what the big deal about it is. God, the act itself was terrible.” I
physically shudder as I look back at the fire.

“What?” Nixon asks, sounding
confused.

“Were you a virgin?” Axel
blurts out at the same time.

“Yeah, and I’m
never having sex again.
Never
ever
again,” I say, with great emphasise
on he never part.

“Jesus, Angel. Why didn’t you
tell us?” Axel says, sounding hurt.

“It’s not something to just
announce.” I shake my head.

“Did the twins know you were a
virgin?” Nixon asks, leaning forward with a deep frown on his
face.

“Yeah, both my mates knew about
it. Okay, so it’s not like I expected some romantic display of
affection. I knew the only reason he was having sex with me was
because I basically begged him to, but I really didn’t expect to
lose my virginity that way. I certainly didn’t think having sex
would be such an animalistic act. God, it was horrible...so
horrible. I just… I don’t want to think about it.” I wrap my arms
around myself as a shiver runs through my body.

“Fucking idiots,” Axel mutters,
wrapping an arm around my shoulder and pulling me into his chest.
Nixon holds my hand tightly between his two hands.

“It’s not as
bad as he made it out to be
,
babe. Sex can be a beautiful, intimate act between two people. I
wish you told me you were a virgin, Angel. I would’ve shown you
just that.”

Axel smiles down at me as he
sends this message to me without letting Nixon hear; I can’t help
but smile back. I remain quiet, knowing I will never have sex with
anyone other than my two mates. I still love Tyler. Maybe losing my
virginity didn’t go how I thought it would, but if I really wanted
him to stop, I would have told him to. I kept quiet, allowing him
to take my heat away because at that moment that is all I
wanted.

****

When I go to bed that night, I
make sure to lock the door to my bathroom as well as my bedroom; I
even go through the trouble of placing a chair in front of them. As
I’m lying in bed, I think about Chloe and Ronny.

I miss them so
much
.

I’m just about to write a text
to Ronny when I feel Nixon trying to link up with me. I bring down
the walls in my mind, just enough to let him in.

“You okay
cupcake?”
I can hear the
concern in his voice.

“I will
be,”
I reply.

“I don’t want
you to let one greedy person take away something so special for
you
,” he says.

“It’s too
late, Nix. He’s already taken it. Last time I checked, your
virginity isn’t something that can be replaced,”
I say sarcastically, trying to
lighten the serious mood.

“Ha-ha,”
he fakes.
“
What I mean is, don’t let
him ruin that for you. So your first time was shit, it can only get
better now, right? I swear it’s not as brutal as he made it out to
be, you just need to find the right person. Don’t let Tyler ruin
what could be a beautiful thing, Angel.”
I can hear him almost whisper it in my head. I don’t
have anything to say to that, he must know this because he replies
with a, “
Goodnight
babe.
”

“Goodnight, Nix. Thanks… for
everything,” I say, trying to find the right words.

Chapter 2
5

I have nightmares for two
nights after that. They’re always the same, always about losing my
virginity; every single one more brutal than the one before. It’s
gotten to the point where I’m avoiding Nixon and all things male;
specifically and most importantly Tyler.

I just get done taking a shower
after I went for a run in the woods when Nixon barges into my
room.

I’m not surprised by this
because he’s been blowing up my phone with messages and trying to
get into my head, but I’ve fobbed him off with excuses.

He stands in my open doorway
with his arms folded over his chest. “You’re avoiding me, Angel.
Why?”

I continue to straighten my
frizzy hair, looking in the mirror as I reply, “I haven’t. I’ve
just been busy, Nix.”

“Bullshit. You’ve been avoiding
me,” he says, walking closer.

I sigh, letting out a deep
breath as I switch the straightener off.

I look at him in the mirror as
I apply some make up. “I’ve been having dreams.”

“Dreams or nightmares?” He
asks.

“Nightmares.”

“About?” He continues, sitting
on the stool near me.

“What do you think?” I
respond.

He nods his head in
understanding, then looks up over. “Where are you headed off
to?”

“Don’t know yet. I need to get
out of this house for a while.” I check myself in the mirror. I
have a pair of navy skinny jeans on, a plain black off the shoulder
top where my purple bra strap sticks through and I’ve put on a pair
of simple black wedge ankle boots to complete the outfit.

I pick up my handbag on the way
to the door and walk past him. “You coming?” I don’t wait for a
response as I walk out my room and head for the stairs.

I hear a familiar voice coming
from the patio outside. From the open door, I watch Axel yelling at
Kate.

“Back away from her man. I’m
not gonna tell you again,” Tyler says, getting in Axel’s face. My
heart hurts at seeing Tyler standing up for her. I haven’t seen him
since the night at the tree house. I’ve been avoiding him at all
costs, but I guess my time is finally up.

“She didn’t tell you that she
rejected her mate?” Axel holds his stomach as he laughs.

“Stupid stuck
up bitch thought she was better than me. Now she’s stuck
with
you
.” Axel continues to laugh as if it’s the most
hilarious thing ever. I’m certain he’s only doing this to piss
Tyler off.

He looks at Kate provocatively
and says, “Baby, I would’ve rocked…your…world.” He looks her entire
body over. I watch as a surprised look comes across her face. She
no longer has that mean snarl, instead lust filled eyes shine back
at Axel.

Tyler growls at Axel and pushes
him back, but Axel only laughs, fuelling his anger. Tyler looks
back at Kate now. “What is he talking about?” He growls. This is
when he notices me standing there watching the scene play out.

I watch his adam’s apple
move up and down as he gulps. The anger from his face disappears
and he stands up straighter, shoulders relaxed.

Kate looks at Tyler then
follows his line of sight to me. Letting out a little growl, her
now famous snarl covers her face. I’ve never seen her this mad
before, it so doesn’t suit her pretty face.

Nixon bumps into me as he’s
putting his arms through his leather jacket. He looks down at me
confused, then catches onto the scene in front of us.

Axel lets out a
whistle when he looks at me. Tyler glares at him, but that does
nothing to shut him up. “Can’t believe you’re still with that….” He
looks at Kate full of loathing then tilts his head to me, “…when
you have
her
as a mate. Brother, if you don’t
start treating her right…I may have to let Alpha Caspian step in.
God knows he’s obsessed with her. I’m pretty sure he’d know how to
treat her the way she deserves.”

Tyler growls out and
takes a step towards him. Axel just raises his eyebrow then turns
to look at me with a brilliant smile on his face. “You ready, sweet
cheeks?” He asks me so kindly and I can’t help but smile and
nod.

“Wait. What is going on between
you two? Are you like together now?” Kate pipes in, jealously
evident in her voice as she looks from Axel to me.

I ignore her and follow the
boys towards Nixon’s car.

“You
think
you’re
going to be able to satisfy him in
bed?” she spits out behind me. I freeze, looking up at Axel and
Nixon wide eyed. I know she’s angry and I know all this lashing out
at me is because of her fear of losing Tyler. She’s in love with
him and is under the impression that her time with him is coming to
an end.

“Kate, shut it,” Tyler
growls.

She lets out a
forced laugh. I’ve never heard anything like it come from her mouth
before. “Oh, sweetie. Surely you didn’t think he wouldn’t tell me?
Our
relationship
is stronger than that.” I turn around
and glare at Tyler as I feel the ominous tingles in my eyes start
to form.

“Don’t pay her any attention;
let’s just get out of here,” Nixon says, but I ignore him.

“Let’s go.” Axel grabs my
elbow, but I shove him off harshly.

“Apparently
little Angel here is useless in bed. Just lays there. Poor Ty was
so disgusted by the scars on her back, he had to picture me
underneath him to finish off. Swear you’ve scarred
my
man.” She smirks and crosses her hands over her chest. I
stand there shocked; who knew perfect little Kate had this side to
her.

“Kate.” Tyler growls again.

I can feel the wind picking up
along with the tingles that are coursing through my body.

“I can promise you he
isn’t as scarred as I am. I don’t have much experience in the sex
department since I’ve only ever had sex with Tyler here…” They both
gasp and the boys behind me curse. “…but I can assure you that he
wasn’t all that great either. I’d rather be restrained and whipped
then allow someone to brutally take what he took from me
again.”

“Shit, Angel. I didn’t think…I
figured you’d slept with Drake when you were together,” Tyler says,
his broken voice filled with remorse.

“No you didn’t think.” I shut
him up with a growl.

He stands there looking at me
with shoulders slumped.

This is when
Kate starts laughing, “Talon and Tyler told me about you. But a
virgin? Damn, you really are a tease. Playing all those boys and
you didn’t even give them some.” She wipes away the tears from
laughing. I have tears falling down my face too, but they weren’t
caused by the
hilarity
of this conversation. I’m way passed
the sad phase, I’m hurt and livid.

I can’t control
the burning sensation in my eyes as they start to burn. I want to
cause her pain. I want her to feel my pain. I
need
her to
feel it.

“Angel, look at me. You need to
calm down. Breathe… No, look at me.” Nixon grabs my face and
directs me to look into his eyes. I squint and blink, Kate is no
longer in my view as Nixon’s eyes become my focus. I think about
Phoenix and the breathing techniques she showed me and I feel the
burning start to fade away. “Just breathe,” he says calmly.

“You good?” he looks my face
over not letting go of my jaw. I blink a few more times and let out
a deep breath.

“Yeah, I’m good.” He moves out
of my way. I now notice Talon is there, holding Tyler back. Talon
is looking back and forth between Nixon and I full of confusion.
He’s obviously unsure of why we’re so close.

“Let’s get you away from here,”
Axel says, pulling my arm towards the car and opening the door. I
climb in without hesitation, not bothering to look out of the
window at my mates.

I don’t know how much longer I
can continue to play this cat and mouse game. They either want to
be my mates or they don’t. They need to make a decision or else I’m
going to make it for them.

****

After driving for a few
minutes, I turn to look out the window. Not recognising the road I
ask Axel, “Where are we heading?”

“There’s a neutral zone half an
hour away. It’s a small town, but they have an awesome bar there.
Didn’t want to bring you to Crystal Bay, Caspian might have decided
to pay you a visit, didn’t think you’d be up for that,” Axel says,
keeping his eyes on the dark road ahead of us.

I don’t reply, but continue to
look out the window.

Nixon turns around in the
passenger seat. “Don’t worry about what Kate said Angel. She was
clearly angry by what Axel said, she just needed to take it out on
someone. Should of seen her face when you mentioned the virgin
thing, swear I saw sadness for you,” he says reassuringly.