Angel in My Arms (40 page)

She felt a firm, warm hand on her shoulder and knew that it was Fox in the flesh.

"Celeste."

She turned in her chair. "Fox," she whispered. She didn't ask him
how he had found her. Obviously he'd followed her. The question was:
why?

Adam rose politely from his chair. Holding his hands stiffly at his
sides, he said, "Good evening, sir," in his most intelligible voice.

Celeste felt a surge of pride. She knew how hard Adam worked to speak clearly.

Fox bowed. "Good evening."

"Adam," Celeste said. "This is Mr. MacPhearson. Fox MacPhearson."
She felt her heart flutter; she avoided eye contact with both of them.
"And this is Adam Kennedy, my… son."

There. She'd said it. She'd told Fox her terrible secret. Her
wonderful secret. She waited for his reaction, her skin prickly with
fear.

If Fox was surprised by her announcement, he never showed it. His face was as serene as she had ever seen it.
Thank you,
she thought.
Bless you, Fox.

"It's very nice to meet you, Adam."

"And you, sir." Adam spoke slowly, his hands wiggling at his sides
as if he was fighting the urge to speak with his hands. "Would you care
to join us?"

Fox glanced at Celeste. His dark eyes were filled with uncertainty,
yet there was an intriguing sparkle in them. One of promise. "May I?"
he asked her.

She smiled. It felt so odd to be dressed as they were in this fancy
dining room, speaking cordially as if she and Fox were mere
acquaintances rather than lovers. "Please." She indicated the space to
her left at the table, between her and Adam. "We were about to order."

Fox signaled to the maître d', who must have been lurking behind a
crimson drape. He appeared instantly with an upholstered chair.

"Something to drink, sir?"

Fox glanced at Celeste's wineglass, filled with a rich red wine.

"A merlot," she said softly. She couldn't tear her gaze from his. He
had come all the way from Carrington looking for her. Perhaps it was
just a business matter, but she knew that wasn't likely. The look on
his face told her it was personal… very personal. A part of her was
angry that he had found her out this way, but a part of her was greatly
relieved.

"I'll have the merlot."

"Very good, sir."

The maître d' disappeared, and Celeste found herself alone with the
two men she loved most in the world. Now what did she do with them?
What did she say?

Fox and Adam studied one another with equal interest.

Fox seemed as at home in this elegant setting as he had in the mine
shaft. But of course he would. Though this was not the world she knew
him from, this
was
his world.

"I'm a business associate of your mother's," Fox said, beginning the conversation casually. "Has she told you?"

He looked directly at Adam, and for that Celeste was thankful. She
wouldn't have to tell Fox, in front of Adam, that her son was nearly
deaf. Fox must have been able to tell by the way Adam spoke that he had
difficulties hearing.

Adam wiggled in his chair, obviously excited by Fox's attention.
"No, sir. My mother has been very secretive about her new business, but
she said she would tell me soon."

Fox glanced at Celeste meaningfully, then back at Adam so that he could read his lips. "Will she, now?"

"Yes, sir."

"You don't by chance go to school here, do you, Adam?"

"Yes, sir." Adam beamed. "Miss Higgens's Academy."

"And you live there?"

The boy lowered his gaze. "Yes, sir." He glanced up quickly. "But
I'm thinking of changing schools and living with my mother. She needs
me. My father is dead, you know."

Celeste trembled as Fox once again met her gaze. She was awash in
emotional turmoil. Then Fox gently placed his hand over hers where it
lay on the table, and she knew that no matter what happened next, she
was going to be all right.

After a fine dinner of roasted beef and apple tarts for dessert, Fox
suggested that the three of them go for a walk in the city to get some
exercise after such a plentiful meal. They parted in the front lobby to
go to their rooms, and agreed to meet in ten minutes.

Celeste didn't know who was more delighted when Fox reappeared with Silver at his side, her or Adam.

"How did you get that dog in here?" she murmured in his ear.

Fox strolled beside her through the lobby in a wool great coat, his
bowler hat in his hand. "My persuasive personality." He grinned.

His smile made her feel warm and tingly inside, as if they had just met and he was courting her.

"Wow!" Adam exclaimed, kneeling in front of Silver."This is the best
dog I ever met." In his excitement, his words were a little garbled,
but both Celeste and Fox understood.

Silver licked Adam's face and the boy laughed.

"Come on," Fox said, taking Adam's arm. He raised him to his feet
and buttoned the top button of his overcoat. "Let's get out of here
before someone realizes that's a dog and not a guest."

Adam laughed and ran ahead out the door with Silver right behind him.

On the street, lit by oil lanterns, Fox and Celeste walked behind
Adam and the dog. They walked half a block before Celeste got up the
nerve to speak. "You followed me. Why?"

"I wanted to see who I was up against."

The cold wind blew loose strands of hair across her mouth, and she brushed them away. "Up against?"

"Who I'd have to fight to win you back."

Her heart hammered in her chest. She didn't know what to say. He
wanted her. Was he going to ask for a compromise? Surely he knew she
couldn't; she wouldn't. Did that mean he had changed his position? Did
she dare hope that perhaps he could find a small place in his heart for
her?

Fox took her gloved hand in his and slipped them both into his large
pocket. "And now that I've met Adam, I'm really scared, Celeste." He
looked straight ahead at the boy and dog frolicking. "He's steeper
competition than I had anticipated. I don't know if I can beat that."

Tears clouded Celeste's eyes and she blinked them away. That was the
most romantic thing Fox had ever said to her. "He's a good boy."

"Smart," Fox added. "Delightful. Is he completely deaf?"

"No. He hears certain lower tones. He reads lips very well."

"His speech is excellent."

"He's worked very hard at speaking. Just in the last few months he's stopped relying on sign language."

The two of them watched Adam and the dog stop, look both ways for oncoming traffic, then cross the street to a small park.

"He's Gerald's, isn't he?"

"Yes. But I don't want him to know—not ever. Gerald hurt me enough. I won't have him hurt Adam, too."

"I wish you had told me."

"I don't know why I didn't. I suppose I didn't know what you would think—a whore being a mother."

"You're a good mother. A good woman."

"I'm very proud of Adam, and I want what's best for him."

Fox squeezed her hand inside his pocket. "You should be."

"I love him more than life."

He stopped on the edge of a patch of snow and met her gaze, his dark eyes troubled. Adam and the dog continued.

"Then you can't leave him here, Celeste."

The strength of the emotion in Fox's voice disturbed her. He was nearly in tears.

"What do you mean? Is he in danger?"

"Yes." He took both her hands and held them tightly. "Grave danger.
Danger of feeling abandoned. In danger of believing no one will ever
really love him—that no one will ever really care. He's in danger of
believing that everyone he loves will leave him sooner or later."

Celeste sensed that Fox was not just speaking of Adam… but of himself. "I don't understand."

Ten paces away, Adam and Silver rolled on the ground in the snow.
The dog barked wildly and Adam was laughing, his sweet, childish voice
echoing in the dark, cold night.

"You can't leave him in a boardinghouse."

"It's a school," she corrected. "A school where he learned to speak."

"He speaks now. He needs to come with you." Fox swallowed, his eyes
clouding with tears. "He needs to come home with us, if you'll still
have me."

She searched his teary gaze for understanding. "If I were to take
Adam home with me, it would have to be to a real home, to a man who
loves me and could learn to love him. I would have to be wed."

He pulled off his glove to brush her cold cheek with his warm hand.
Snowflakes drifted through the air and fell cold on her face.

"So marry me. Let me be your husband and Adam's father, if he'll allow me."

"Oh, Fox," she whispered as she threw her arms around his neck. "Do you mean it? Are you certain, because if you're not—"

"I'm as certain of this—more certain—than I've ever been of anything
in my life." He hugged her. "When you walked out of Kate's last night,
I knew I couldn't live without you. I knew that no matter how afraid I
was to love you, that it was too late. I already love you. I've loved
you since the day you opened your front door to greet me when I arrived
in Carrington."

Celeste was so choked with happiness, with relief, with disbelief,
that she didn't know what to say. "I love you, too." The words seemed
inadequate.

He pulled back a little, but still held her in his arms. He adjusted
her hat that must have gone askew when she'd hugged him. "Let's take
him back to Carrington. We'll sell the mine and go to California.
Tonight."

She laughed. "We can't go tonight! It's Adam's bedtime."

Just then the boy and dog loped over. Adam stopped beside them and
look curiously at his mother. "You said Mr. MacPhearson was your
business partner, Mama." He signed the word Mama as he spoke it. "Is
there something else you didn't tell me about him?"

Celeste glanced at Fox, feeling as if she would burst with
happiness. "Actually, Adam…" She released Fox and crouched to pull
Adam's hat down further over his head. "There's a lot I haven't told
you. Why don't the three of us," — Silver shoved his head under her
hand to be petted—
"the four of us,
go to our room, call for hot chocolate, and talk."

Adam nodded."Good idea. Can Silver have chocolate, too?"

Fox laughed. The tears in his eyes had faded, and he appeared as
happy as Celeste had ever seen him. "Dogs don't drink chocolate." He
grabbed Adam's hand and took care to look directly at him. "Race you
back to the hotel."

The boy and the man darted off, with the dog barking at their heels.
Celeste just stood for a moment under the lamplight, watching them
retreat, thinking that she was so happy at this moment, that her heart
might burst.

Much later, when hot chocolate had been shared, and Celeste had
explained to Adam that she and Fox were intending to wed, the two
tucked the tired boy into bed. With Silver stretched out at his feet,
Celeste kissed Adam on the forehead, tucked his quilt over his
shoulders, and left him to sleep.

She found Fox by the blazing fireplace, seated on the floor on a
blanket he'd laid out for them. He had poured two glasses from a wine
bottle he'd had sent up with the chocolate.

"I think he likes you," she said as she sat beside him on the floor.
Suddenly she felt shy. It had been weeks since they'd been alone like
this.

"The dog?"

She elbowed him. "Adam. He likes you. But he says you're a slow runner."

Fox laughed and handed her a glass of ruby wine. "I think we should toast to my finally coming to my senses."

They entwined arms and drank. "To Fox MacPhearson's good sense," she
teased. "And to my good sense for knowing a decent man when I see him."

She took another sip of her wine and set the glass down. Then she
drew up her knees and stared into the blazing fire. She and Fox had so
much to talk about, yet there was one thing that she had to ask before
they discussed their future.

"Fox?"

He stared dreamily into the flames.

"Um hm?"

"What you said in the park tonight about Adam, you weren't just talking about him, were you?"

He took a long moment to answer. "No."

She stroked his arm, savoring the heat and strength of it. "Want to tell me?"

"No." He turned his head to gaze into her eyes. "Yes."

She kissed his shoulder and threaded her fingers through his. "I'm listening."

He spoke so softly that she had to lean closer to hear him.

"He… he put me in a boarding school. John… my father. He said it was
the best place for me. He said they could provide what he couldn't—a
stable environment, an education. He said men like him didn't belong
raising children."

"He must have believed that was best, or he wouldn't have done it."

"At least he came to visit. He brought me gifts and took me places, but she—"

She noted a bitter tone in his voice. "She?"

"My mother." He spit out the words as if they tasted bad. "She just
abandoned me. She gave birth to me, handed me to my father, and left.
She went back to work… in the whorehouse where I was born."

His words so shocked her that for a moment Celeste couldn't find her
voice. She had guessed that Fox had been born illegitimate, but thought
his mother had died, probably birthing him. Never in her wildest dreams
had she imagined that his mother had been a prostitute. Why hadn't John
told her?

"Fox," she whispered, squeezing his hand tightly. "You should have told me."

He shook his head. Tears glistened in his eyes again. "All those
years in the boarding schools, I imagined she would come for me
someday. I thought she would clean up, that she would marry my father,
and that we would live as a family. But she never came. Not once."

Celeste knelt and drew Fox into her arms. "I'm so sorry," she
whispered, rocking him as she would a child. "I understand now. I
understand it all."

"I'm sorry," he whispered. "I'm sorry I was so mean to you. I did
love you. I loved you from the first day. I was just afraid to admit
it, even to myself."