Angel of Redemption (41 page)

“
I
’
m more worried about the change of behavior in the last few
weeks,
”
Rebecca says.
“
Kayla, correct me if I
’
m wrong, but there were no reports of behavioral issues
with Matty before he started at this school, were there?
”

Kayla
shakes her head.
“
He
’
s had panic attacks, which have caused
complications, but no outright defiance.
”

“
And now he
’
s arguing with authority figures, fighting with classmates,
and cheating on tests. Something deeper is going on.
”

“
I think so, too,
”
Kayla agrees. She looks over at me.
“
Logan?
”

I
nod.
“
Yeah.
”

“
Logan is Matty
’
s lifeline,
”
Kayla explains.
“
Matty doesn
’
t know what to do without him. This is the first time in
his life that he
’
s
ever had to consider not having Logan around as a possibility. I
’
m not sure he knows how to process it.
”

“
As much as I understand that those types of things factor
into it, that
’
s
not my area of expertise. I
’
m here to make sure that he gets what he needs
educationally,
”
Keens says, opening up his hands and shrugging.

“
I
’
ll make an appointment at the learning center to get him
evaluated,
”
Kayla responds flatly. I can tell she
’
s fighting back a sneer, and I wish I were on the other
side of the table so I could touch her. I settle for boxing her foot in-between
mine. The corner of her mouth twitches, and her eyes flicker toward me for a
split-second, letting me know she knows what I
’
m doing.

“
That sounds like a good plan,
”
Rebecca nods.
“
I
’
d also like your permission to talk to him a couple of
times a week during homeroom.
”

Kayla
and I both agree that talking to someone who isn
’
t us could potentially help him.

The
meeting wraps up with a plan to meet again in four weeks. That should give us
enough time to complete a learning assessment and see if Matty will open up to
Rebecca.

As
we
’
re
walking out the front doors, Kayla grabs my arm, wrapping her fingers around my
bicep and leaning her head against my shoulder.

“
What
’
s the matter?
”
I ask.

“
Nothing. Just one of those days.
”

“
What happened?
”

Kayla
takes a deep breath.
“
Andy told me this morning that he
’
s dating my best friend.
”

“
Sara or Warren?
”
I chuckle at my own joke and Kayla slaps my chest.

“
Sara, you jerk.
”

“
I
’
m sorry. I couldn
’
t help it. Is that a bad thing?
”

“
No. I guess not. It just took me by surprise. He said they
’
ve been seeing each other for a couple
of months, but it wasn
’
t serious.
”

“
And now it is?
”
We stop at her car and she leans against it, nodding.
“
Are you upset that he didn
’
t tell you earlier?
”

“
No. Not really. Maybe.
”

A
gust of wind hits us, blowing several loose strands of Kayla
’
s hair into her face. She tosses her
head a few times, but they keep falling back. I reach forward and slip them
behind her ear, brushing my thumb across her cheek and down her neck before
pulling my hand back.

“
What
’
d Sara say?
”

“
I haven
’
t talked to her yet. She wasn
’
t in the office when I dropped by
before the meeting. They both deserve to be happy, though, and by the look on
Andy
’
s
face when he told me he thought he was falling in love with her
…
”
Kayla looks down and sniffs, and a tear falls from her
eye. Pulling her into a hug, I kiss the top of her head.

“
It
’
ll be okay, sweetheart,
”
I assure.

“
I know,
”
she laughs.
“
I
’
m being stupid. I
’
m happy for them.
”

The
shrill bell announcing the end of classes rings, breaking us apart. I run my
hand through my hair, scratching the back of my head. Kayla wipes at her eyes
and grins.

“
Sex hair?
”
I waggle my eyebrows at her.

“
Definitely sex hair,
”
she giggles. As much as I want to stay with her, I have
things I absolutely have to get done.

“
I have to go,
”
Kayla sighs, beating me to the punch.
“
I have to drive to Ely tomorrow, which
is a wash of a day, so I need to get some paperwork done today.
”

“
What
’
s in Ely?
”
I ask curiously.

“
I placed one of my risk-adopt babies there a few months
ago.
”
Kayla wrinkles her nose.

“
What?
”
I ask.
“
It
’
s a baby, right? Can
’
t be that bad. Don
’
t you like babies?
”

“
Yeah, I like babies, it
’
s just
…
he
bites.
”

I
laugh and shake my head.
“
Well, have fun with your biter baby. If I don
’
t talk to you before you go, drive
safe.
”

The
two-minute warning bell rings and a couple of kids run by us, smelling strongly
of weed. Kayla rolls her eyes at them and then puts her hand on my chest,
fiddling with the zipper on my coat.

I
startle slightly, which pisses me off. I
’
ve
been working on breaking the habit. Being on edge helped me in the joint
—
I was always on guard against being jumped
—
but in the real world, it makes me look like a freak. It
’
s been seven years; it
’
s
time for me to get a grip. Plus, I love it when she touches me, and I don
’
t want to flinch away from her.

Ever
since she kissed me
—
and then walked into my kitchen
wearing nothing more than my T-shirt and asked about my ink
—
it
’
s been a battle not to think about her
every second of the day. I feel guilty for the way I reacted
—
my outburst about other women. It was
out of fear, not anger. I haven
’
t felt that vulnerable in a really long time. Kayla
’
s already passed too many barriers.
She
’
s under my skin, and it doesn
’
t seem to matter how much I fight it.
I
’
m falling for her.

The
final bell shrieks, and she pulls her hand back with a sigh.

“
You going to be okay?
”
I ask.

“
Yes, I
’
ll be fine. Thank you. I
’
ll see you later?
”

I
nod.
“
Absolutely.
”

Dean

“
So everything is cleared up with the
Curtis-and-Jax situation?
”

Emily
and I are having lunch with my father downtown
—
an
impromptu check-in on his part.

“
Yeah, Dad. Everything has been taken care of. All
caseworkers and attorneys informed. All paperwork filed.
”

“
Are you sure?
”

I
must look irritated, because Emily jumps right in.
“
Yes, Joe. Dean and Aiden handled
everything by the book.
”

“
It
’
s
not that I don
’
t trust you, son. You know how I get
this time of year. I need all three of you at the first-quarter meeting with
the board next week. I want to go into the gala with everyone confident and
assured. I
’
m
proposing an additional Wyatt House scholarship this year.
”

I
perk up a little. Both Brayden and Logan are graduating and aging out, and they
both have so much potential. Another scholarship increases the likelihood that
both will get some financial help
—
assuming
they go to college. It
’
s not just Wyatt House kids that are
eligible, though. Any former foster child in the state of Minnesota between the
ages of eighteen and twenty-one who is attending college can apply. We get
about fifty applications a year, and right now we have four scholarships
available.

My
dad takes a bite of his salad, and then wipes his napkin over his mouth.
“
How
’
s Simon working out so far?
”

I
let out a sound that I can
’
t even describe. Emily chokes on her iced tea, laughing. My
father
’
s
expression is confused and slightly mystified. I wave him off.

“
He
’
s doing just fine, Joe,
”
Emily says, slapping my arm.
“
He came in with a bit of an attitude,
but he
’
s
getting better. The kids are testing him, although that
’
s to be expected.
”

My
dad turns toward me and raises his eyebrows. He wants to know what my problem
is.
Well, Dad, you see, I think he
’
s an arrogant douche who tried to put the moves on
the woman I think I
’
m falling
for but am too chickenshit to go after, and I
’
m really
worried that she may get tired of my moody ass and actually go out with him.

“
I think he
’
s still an asshole, but I guess he
’
s doing his job.
”

“
Good. It will be nice to have Tracey and Bill at the gala
together this year. You think he
’
ll be ready by then?
”

“
That
’
s two weeks away, Dad. If he
’
s not ready by then, he
’
s getting fired.
”

My
dad laughs as though I
’
m joking. Emily knows better, though. I
’
m completely serious. I plan on handing him the night-shift
reins by next week at the latest.

“
Speaking of the gala.
”
My dad shifts in his seat and takes a sip of wine.
“
Your mother wanted me to make sure you
have a date, Dean. She has a young lady in mind
—
”

“
I
’
ve got one.
”

“
You do?
”

“
Yeah.
”

“
Do you mind if I ask who?
”

I
lift my drink to my mouth and take a gulp before answering.
“
I
’
m taking Kayla.
”

He
nods, the corners of his mouth turning up slightly.
“
Wonderful. I
’
ll let your mother know she can stop
playing matchmaker.
”

Emily
looks on happily, not surprised in the slightest. Kayla must have told her.

“
We
’
re just friends,
”
I mumble for no apparent reason.

We
continue eating, Emily and my dad discussing something about an article in a
newspaper or magazine while I zone out. My phone buzzes in my pocket, and,
though I know my dad hates it, I pull it out to look.

The
fifteen seconds it takes her to respond are too long.

I
let out a relieved breath. She
’
s playing.

I
know she
’
s just playing with me. I try to come
up with something witty, but I
’
ve got nothing. Fortunately, before I
can give her some boring answer, she moves on.

Why
does she tell me shit like that?

Ten seconds later.

I
snort at her term of affection and slide my phone back into my pocket. Looking
up, I see that Emily and my dad are watching me.

“
What?
”

My
dad shakes his head and goes back to his salad.
“
Nothing.
”

* * *

“
Santiago and the guys got me a car!
”
Logan shouts, bursting into the den
just after dinner on Thursday night. All the boys are watching television, but
Logan
’
s
announcement brings them all out of their TV trance. Emily and I, who are
waiting for Aiden to show up for the night shift, look at each other in
surprise.

“
What?
”
I ask.

“
A car. They got me a car.
”

“
They
…
bought you a car?
”

“
Well, no, not exactly. They picked it up from a junkyard
for, like, fifty bucks. She
’
s got a great body, so they said they
’
d help me fix her up. I get all the
parts at cost. Santi said it was the best way for me to learn how everything
worked.
”

“
What kind?
”
Brayden asks, his voice almost as excited as Logan
’
s.

“
It
’
s an old Honda. They said I could trick it up, too. Give it
a souped-up engine. I think I
’
m gonna paint it dark blue. It
’
s gonna go so fucking fast, man. I
’
ll blow Ace
’
s motherfucking Nissan out of the
water.
”

I
can feel my throat growing dry and all the blood draining from my face. The
boys are talking excitedly, but I don
’
t even hear them anymore. The voices in the room turn into
screeching tires and crunching metal in my head. Emily grips my wrist, trying
to get me to focus, but I can
’
t. There
’
s no way I can let this happen.

“
Absolutely not!
”
I shout.

“
Dean,
”
Emily whispers. The boys all turn their heads to face me.

“
No, Logan. No car.
”

“
Dean, stop! Come with me for just a second,
”
Emily begs, standing up. I get up,
but completely ignore her. Logan looks at me like I
’
ve just insulted him.

“
Why not?
”
he bellows.

“
Because I said so.
”

He
stares at me for a minute and then laughs.
“
Yeah, whatever. If the guys down at
the shop want to help me build a car, you don
’
t have any say over it.
”

“
Maybe not, but I do have the ability to say no to your
driver
’
s
license.
”

“
Why are you being such a dick about it? I thought you
wanted me to be all independent and shit.
”

“
I do,
”
I say as calmly as possible.
“
But I also want you to be safe. Until
I know that you can be, no car.
”

I
can hear Emily huffing beside me, but she
’
s given up on trying to pull me out of the room. I
’
m not budging.

“
You know what? Fuck you. I
’
m gonna do what I want, and the second
I turn eighteen, I
’
m outta here, and I
’
m never looking back.
”

The
instant the words are out of Logan
’
s mouth, I become aware of everyone else in the room. The
faces are all wide-eyed and curious to see how this standoff will play out. All
but one.

Matty.

His
mouth is open, staring at his brother. Tears well in his eyes, and his lower
lip begins to tremble. Before I can make a move, he bolts out of the room.
Logan watches him go, frowning.

“
Everybody out!
”
Emily orders. They all file out except Logan.

“
Goddammit, Logan,
”
I groan.

“
I didn
’
t do anything,
”
he protests angrily.
“
He
’
s being a big baby. He
’
s always been a big baby.
”

“
You know he
’
s afraid of losing you. Kayla just went over this with you,
and then you essentially tell him that leaving him is exactly what you plan on
doing.
”

“
Why is it always about him? Why can
’
t it be about me? Why do I always have
to be the one to babysit? I
’
m not his fucking father, and I
’
m not his fucking guardian. You are!
”

Logan
’
s hands clench, and I see his whole
body begin to shake. He
’
s about to blow. They
’
ve all lost it at some point. Brayden
’
s explosion was the worst, but he was only thirteen, and
Aiden was there to help me when his fists began slamming into anything they
could. Logan
’
s
bigger than me, and Emily is the only other adult here. I don
’
t know if I can hold him if he gets
violent. I
’
m not going to put my brother
’
s wife in a position where she could
get hurt, though.

“
I went hungry, too,
”
he yells.
“
I got beat up worse than he did. My mother let some fucking
asshole touch me so she could get a six-hour high. At least I saved him from
that. The asshole wanted Matty, but I took his place because he was too little,
and I didn
’
t
want him to go through that. I deserve to fucking live for once without having
to worry about what happens to
him
! I
’
m tired of it. All I want to do is
move on. I want to turn eighteen, marry Claire, and just fucking be happy for
once!
”