Angel: Rochon Bears (17 page)

“
I
t’s killing me
.”

Leaning over with his head in his hands, Angel replayed how hard it was to leave Becca’s house. He had listened to her slide to the floor on the other side of the wood door, listening to the tears that were falling as she took in ragged breaths. His bear wanted to tear the door down to get to their mate. Comfort her and kiss away her tears. Instead, he forced his animal back and walked to his truck. He sat in it for a while before driving away, staring in the rearview mirror at the little house covered in flowers that held his mate.

Now he was sitting at his brother’s kitchen table. His niece Talia was on his knee, gurgling and drooling on him. She was decked out in a black t-shirt with an attached hot pink tutu that barely covered her diapered butt. Her shirt said
You Can’t Wear Pink Every Day.

“Man, I don’t know what to tell you. Gemma loved me back from the moment I met her.” Eddie lounged on his couch; his feet propped up on the coffee table in the one small section that wasn’t covered in sippy cups and toys.

“Bullshit!”

Gemma Rochon came around the corner carrying a couple bottles of beer. She was also glaring at Eddie. Angel always thought his brother had lucked out with the beauty that was his mate. Gemma was curvy and gorgeous, but now nothing compared to Angel’s own mate. There was no beauty greater than his girl.

“Sweetie, don’t swear in front of the children. What will the teacher think when Dash starts calling bullshit during reading time?”

“I’d never say those naughty words. Those are adult words, Daddy,” little Dash said, coming behind his mom.

Scooping up his son, Eddie put him on his lap. “Good boy. Mommy is a terrible influence. Only listen to me or Uncle Angel, but only if you check with me first to make sure Angel isn’t being naughty too.”

“Thor likes him, though,” Dash said thoughtfully.

When Gemma had gotten pregnant, Dash decreed the baby was going to be a boy and would be named Thor. Even after the ultrasound showed it was a girl, he stuck by the nickname. Dash also told everyone that it was
his
name for his sister. Everyone else had to call her by her full name.

“Of course, she does, she has excellent taste. Unlike my mate,” Angel said, tickling the baby under the chin. Talia grinned her toothless grin up at him.

“Does she not like you or your bear, Uncle Angel?”

“She hasn’t met my bear, buddy. I can’t show her until she likes me first. I don’t know how to get past the fact that she thinks I’m too young for her.”

Dash seemed to ponder that for a moment then decreed, “You just have to grow up!”

Eddie and Gemma found this a vastly amusing option, and both started laughing at Angel’s expense.

“Like I haven’t heard that line before,” Angel sighed.

Eddie laughed and pulled his wife into his lap where she settled in like it was a normal occurrence.

“So you’ve talked, right?” Gemma asked. “Learned about her, gotten to know her?”

“A little. We haven’t even had that much time together. I would love to talk to her. I hate feeling like I’m stalking her. She hasn’t been home in two days, which I only know because I can’t help driving by to see if she’s there. My bear is pissed off, at me of course, not her. I let him out last night, and he sat his ass down in the dirt and pouted. Didn’t even want to run or forage. He put his furry butt on a log and stared into the woods.”

Eddie started laughing again. Gemma was trying to hold back her laughter. Both of them seemed to find Angel’s pain amusing.

“You are the only person I know that would have a depressed bear,” Eddie said with a coughing chuckle.

“Asshole, this is serious. She’s my mate. I love her. I need to be with her. Could you be away from Gemma?”

“Of course he couldn’t, sweetie. He bulldozed over my life, and it was all for the better,” Gemma said, reaching over to pat his hand.

“I showed up at her house and took care of her when she was in pain. We seemed to be having an okay time when she was feeling better. But then she got all rigid and started talking about my age again. I even told her that I no longer wanted to make music my life and that I was going to focus on working in the family businesses.”

Eddie and Gemma exchanged a look that Angel couldn’t read.

“So you told her how much music meant to you?” Eddie asked.

“Yes.”

“Then you told her you were giving it up?” Gemma prodded.

“Yes, so what? Isn’t that a good thing? Showing her I can be responsible and focus on my future?”

“Women are so much more complicated, sweetie. She doesn’t want to be the reason you don’t follow your dreams. She sees you as someone at the beginning of their life, and that you are giving up something you love for someone you met at a bar. Can’t you see that she would never want that for you?” Gemma said quietly.

Angel could see that. So why couldn’t he just explain to her that music was his dream, and now she was better than a dream?

He saw them staring at him.

“No, it won’t help,” Eddie said, shaking his head.

“What?”

“Just telling her she’s more important than your music isn’t going to work. It sounds okay to you, but to her, it would make her feel like she was the cause of you losing part of yourself. Anyone that meets you knows how important it is to you. Your eyes light up. You talk about it with such a passion that no one can mistake it for being something other than the most important thing in the world to you,” Gemma explained.

“It’s not anymore. She is…she’s everything. Why can’t I just tell her I don’t have a choice in how much I love her?”

Eddie gave a sigh. “And before you found your mate, what would you have said to a girl that walked up to you in the bar and said that? Declared her love for you when you barely knew her? Would you take her seriously?”

“Fuck, this is complicated!” Angel groaned.

Dash started laughing at his uncle swearing.

“Nice, my kid laughs at curse words. I’m so proud,” Eddie said.

“As long as he doesn’t teach his cousins to swear. Not that they would be totally surprised that it was Eddie’s kid that taught them the bad words,” Gemma said, giving her husband a wink.

Eddie smiled at his mate. The second they mated and were sealed with the bonding bite, Dash became Eddie’s. Dash still saw his biological dad occasionally, but those times were getting fewer and fewer. Gemma’s ex was slipping away and no one was trying to stop him. Now Eddie was the only daddy as if he’d always been.

Angel had watched their relationship and thought that it couldn’t have gotten any more complicated than what his brother went through. Now he was feeling like he would hold the family record for longest courtship. Rochons tended to close the deal at lightning fast speed. Angel should have known he wouldn’t be so lucky.

“So do I show up again? I’m becoming the ambush guy. That is going to get Tanner all over my ass if she calls the police.”

“Can you call her?” Gemma leaned over to take Talia out of his arms. Her baby gurgled and cooed as her momma picked her up.

“I don’t have her number. I might be able to get it from her friend.”

“Try that. Leave her a message and see if she calls you back. She is feeling that pull to you too; she just can’t explain it. To her, it’s a crush or infatuation. It’s not anything like what you are feeling. I know how it is; every shifter that’s ever found their mate knows how much being away from her is hurting you. Just don’t get angry at her for it. She isn’t trying to hurt you.”

“Fuck, man. I’m not mad at her. It’s my job to take care of her and make her life easier. I’m failing miserably at it. I know everyone thinks I’m a screw up, but this is not one of those things I can mess up. I have to get this right. I have to show her how much I love her without telling her.”

“Call her,” Gemma said quietly, bouncing gently while her daughter was falling asleep on her chest.

“And say what?”

“Just ask her how her day was. Have her tell you about things she likes. No matter how uninterested you may be. Women want men to listen and hear them,” Gemma said, with a smile.

“That’s the secret to a happy life?”

“Happy wife, happy life. Happy mate, life is cake,” Eddie said.

“Dude, that doesn’t even rhyme,” Angel scoffed.

“Doesn’t need to. My mate thinks I’m charming no matter what.”

Laughing, Gemma gave her a mate a look so filled with love, Angel wanted to look away so as not to intrude.

“It’s true. He’s a dork, but he’s my dork.”

Angel wanted what his brother had. He’d always envied Eddie, not because he was a doctor or seemed to have it easier than he did, but because he had found happiness and true contentment with his mate. He had a family now that you could see was the center of his universe.

A
ngel went
home and tried to sit in his room alone, but his bear couldn’t stand it.

He went outside and got into his truck. He drove into the woods that were never far away from where they lived and walked into the trees far enough that he couldn’t see the road anymore. It was almost dark, and there would be no one out in the forest.

Angel needed the peace that giving over his body and mind to his bear would bring. His bear wanted out, hopefully, this time not to sit in the dirt. Tonight it was about running himself to exhaustion, tearing something up, roaring, and venting the anguish being apart from his mate was causing him.

Stripping out of his clothes, Angel mentally apologized to his bear for not being able to get their mate for them.

His bear responded with a nudge to give him the lead. Angel stepped back in his mind, and he felt his bear come forward. The shimmering surrounded his body; his bear pushing through his skin to be able to come forward. There was a moment when Angel’s last vision was of a rainbow of color, and then he was looking at the world from a totally different angle. Closer to the ground with the smells of the forest coloring his vision.

Giving his bear the lead, they took off at a run. They climbed the mountain at a fast pace. Once Angel felt his bear wasn’t going to pout, he let his mind fall away and enjoyed the instinct his animal reveled in. With someone else running the show, it felt like Angel’s mind was on pause. No worries, no concerns, no hurt.

Angel wasn’t sure how long they had been out. His bear decided when they had enough and returned to the truck. He sat down and waited for Angel to pay attention and take back over.

When he did, Angel moved his presence back into his own body. The hair receded, his body straightened as his bear stepped back from the controls.

He got dressed and hopped back into his truck. Pushing aside some of the scraps of paper that he’d written lyrics on, he grabbed one from the top and read it
. No matter how dark, you’ll always be my light. I can stand the blackness if you’re by my side
. It’s like he’d been writing for Becca except he didn’t know her when the words came to him. Was this a sign from the fates?

Checking the time, he saw that his mom might still be awake. He headed home hoping to talk to her.

When he pulled up, he saw there were still lights on in the house. He came through the back door and went into the kitchen and through to the living room where he found his mom and his dad sitting in their recliners watching the evening news.

“Hey, son. You been out partying?”

Snorting Angel replied, “Yeah dad, I was gettin' down over at Eddie’s house. Talia and I played peek-a-boo, and Dash learned some new swear words. I’m livin’ large.”

“Angel Rochon, don’t you dare teach my grandbaby to swear. Bad enough you were dropping the f-bomb in kindergarten. I’ve never been able to live down the shame.”

His mom had been a school teacher, so there was never a chance he could hide any schoolyard indiscretions from his parents. His dad was always more lenient when he got into trouble. Joe Rochon figured he was a hell-raiser, and he would grow out of it.

He wasn’t sure he had.

“Honey, there are some leftovers in the fridge. I made enchiladas,” his mom called out.

Angel stopped by the kitchen and served himself up a big plate of food, not bothering to heat it.

He took it to the living room and sat down on the couch and started eating. His parents were quiet; the news from the television softly filling the room with the nightly updates from Seattle. Finishing up, he set the plate down and sat back.

“So you gonna tell us what’s wrong?” his dad asked.

Turning to see both of his parents looking at him, he tried to read just how much they knew.

Sighing, he rubbed his hand on the back of his neck.

“I’m just having a little trouble figuring something out. I was getting Eddie’s opinion.”

“You asked your brother for advice?” By the tone of his mother’s voice, she was obviously shocked.

“Well, it was in his field of expertise,” he replied, hoping his parents would think it was about something medical.

There was a pause as his parents continued to stare at him. Angel started to get uncomfortable. This was their way of getting him to confess when he was younger. It rarely worked on Angel, although Eddie would cough up the truth after just a few minutes.

“Son, it couldn’t be anything to do with the fact you’ve found your mate, is it?”

Angel should have fucking known.

“How did you know?”

“Dash called to say goodnight and told us that you had been over and that your mate didn’t like you. He thinks you should just get her flowers and tell her she’s pretty, by the way. You might want to take his advice,” his mom said.

“Fuck me.” Angel dropped his head into his hands.

“Language,” his dad said gruffly.

“Sorry, Mom,” he said with a muffled voice behind his hands.

“I got the sense that things aren’t going that well?” she asked softly.

“No, no they are not going well at all. She’s older than me and won’t even give me the time to let her get to know me.”

There was no response from his parents. He glanced up, “What, no advice?”

“We’re thinking,” his father said, answering for both of them.

“I—uh—spent the night with her. Then when I saw her the next day, I realized she was my mate. After that, she didn’t want to see me. She didn’t come to work the next day, and her friend said she was home sick. I showed up, and she let me take care of her for a while. But the last few days she’s been avoiding me.”

His mother shook her head at him. He could see the resolve on her face that was the foreshadowing of a speech about responsibility or poor choices. His mother loved him, he knew, but she also could see past his handsome face to the dumbass underneath.

“What?” he demanded.

“Leave it up to you to screw a girl that was your mate, without knowing she was your One.”

“Thanks for that. Honestly, Mom, I’m not surprised. I’ve decided this whole week is the fates paying me back big time.”

“Angel, that is not how the fates work. They want you happy, and they want you well mated. There is something you are missing here. The fates wouldn’t have picked her for you unless she was exactly what you needed. In turn, there is something about you that is what she needs. You need to figure out what that is and make sure she gets it.”

Sandy Rochon was smart, wicked smart. Angel had been trying to show her what he could be instead of what he already was. There wasn’t anything about her that he would change, so why would the fates pick a girl that wanted him to change who he was?

“That makes sense, Mom. Really, it does.”

“I’ve been known to get it right every once in a while.”

His mother was just being humble. She was usually right, and only a fool wouldn’t listen to her.

“I think I know what to do,” Angel said.

“Good. As soon as she doesn’t think you’re a schmuck anymore, bring her over for dinner,” his father decreed.

Jumping up, he gave his mother a kiss on the cheek. “You’ll meet her before the week is out,” he promised.