Angelic Anarchy (Heaven on Earth Book 1) (19 page)

She couldn’t even lift her head. Her eyes moved and caught mine, but that was the most she could do. I forced myself to look down and see what they had done to her. I held off as long as I could. Her body was unrecognizable. They had used her like a whipping boy. Her body was open flesh but deeper, much deeper than skin deep.

I knew this is what I must have looked like when she rescued me. I recognized Big Jack’s handiwork. “Evangelina, Evangelina!” I screamed. I lost it trying to get to her. I would not lose her as I lost Lori—just moments too late. I would not let them do this to me again. I used all my strength, hammering and kicking at the invisible door. I tried my sword, daggers, explosives; I tried everything and nothing worked. Finally, the rage overtook me in a way that it had not done before. All the weapons fell from my hands. I looked down at my hands and picked my head up. My eyes opened slowly and I knew I must have looked like I felt . . . like a demon. I could feel the ring of fire around my pupils. I opened my palms and not only did the fire pour from them, but it blazed from my entire body. I was fire. I was death.
I was demon.

“And now we see you as you are meant to be.” A voice echoed throughout the dungeon. It was an ever-changing voice. I couldn’t pinpoint an accent, a tone, pitch. It kept changing. It was indescribable and though it made all the hairs on my neck and arms stand up, it didn’t sound scary as one would expect Satan to sound. Yet the fear I felt made me want to curl up into a ball. If I hadn’t been too scared to move, I’m sure I would have accidentally put out the fire blazing around me. I turned in search of the one belonging to that voice, but he was nowhere in sight.

“I am everywhere.” The voice answered my unspoken thoughts. “I am the darkness lurking around you. I am the darkness within you. You are home, Belleeza. This is where you were always meant to be. I have always known you would come to us, as you have also known it.”

“Lies,” I hissed, regaining my composure.

“I do not speak lies. You lie to yourself, young one. Let us see you in all your glory as you were meant to be. Show me your wings.”

There was a command in his voice and I could feel my wings trying to force their way into this realm. My eyes went wide.
He meant to rip off my wings
. I started panicking. I was frantically searching for a way to fight his command. To stop my wings from coming to me. It hurt.
My God, it hurt so bad
. I felt they were ripping my skin open.

“I do not relish in tearing wings from the backs of our kind.” His voice sounded angry now. “That is your precious angels. That is how they try to break us if we do not conform. We should not be forced to hide our true selves for the sake of the humans.” When he spoke again, his voice sounded as it did before. There was no anger. “Stop fighting it, Belleeza. It doesn’t have to hurt. Will them to you. They are a natural part of you. If you call them to you, they will come.”

I didn’t want to obey him, but my back still felt like it was being shredded by giant razors. I stilled myself and stopped fighting the pain. I did as he asked and willed my wings to come to me. The change was instantaneous. The pain disappeared as though it had never been there, and my wings slowly glided out until they filled the space behind me.

“You see?” the faceless voice asked. I might have imagined it, but I could almost hear the smile behind his words. Though I didn’t want to smile with him, I couldn’t help it. My wings, my beautiful white wings were raised behind me. I pulled them around me and sighed. If they killed me now, I would die happy, having seen and felt my wings one last time. They were such a pure white that when the light hit them, the dungeon lit up with tiny diamond-shaped reflections dancing along the walls and floor.

My utter happiness somehow fed my rage, and before I knew it, the fire within me lit up again—this time stronger than before. I felt the fire go up my back and touch my wings. I clawed at them frantically, but it was in vain. I felt the fire spread all the way to their tips and I cried out devastated as ash fell all around me. They were gone.
They were gone forever
. I fell to my knees, betrayed once again. Funny I should feel betrayed by the devil. I wept—this loss was too much.

“I have not betrayed you. I do not speak lies or half-truths,” the voice said. “Look again, Belleeza.”

I looked up at the tips of my wings and gasped at what I saw. As the ash cleared, it revealed something I never expected. I had not lost my wings. They were still there and stood gloriously beautiful around me. They merely changed as I was changed. They adapted to the darkness within me. In the place of my pure white wings were the most beautiful wings I had ever seen—obsidian black—and they were mine. I had a sense of loss for my natural set of wings, but the fact I still had any wings overshadowed that.

“Stunning. Are these not your natural wings?” the voice asked. “You have not changed anything. You have not altered anything. You merely accepted all of yourself instead of only the parts
they
approved of.”

There was truth to his words. I found myself agreeing with him and even reconsidering where I belonged. I was who I was created to be. The light and the dark within me was their doing, not mine. I asked for none of this. I just did the best I could with what I got.

“And you have served most loyally, but for what? To be betrayed over and over by those who are supposed to be your allies? Join us. We accept all of you, your darkness and your light. I do not seek to change you or force you to hide a part of yourself. We want all of you. That’s the way it should be, shouldn’t it?”

“Yes. The way it should be,” I heard myself say. He was making so much sense. Why did I ever doubt? Why did I fear him? He only wants the best for me. “Darkness and light. Shouldn’t have to hide.”

“Join us then, Belleeza,” the voice pressed. “You see clearly now. You see that we are not the deceivers. Join our cause, join our fight, and join my side. Are you ready?”

“Yes,” I heard myself say. Of course I could see. It was suddenly so clear to me. He was right. “Yes, I am ready.”

A
noise caught
my attention and I turned slowly. My primal instincts urged me to kill first, investigate later. I was a predator. I could feel it in my movements, jerky and yet somehow more graceful than before. It was the rattling of chains that I heard. I looked up and Evangelina was staring at me through blood-splattered hair strands.

“No, Belleeza. No!” Her voice was strained and low but clear. There was a spark of something inside me, some emotion that somehow seemed foreign even though I knew it shouldn’t.
Who did this to her?
What was wrong with me?
I needed to save her.

The spark was extinguished as soon as the voice spoke again.

“She is in more pain than she can handle,” the voice said. “You should end her suffering. It would be a kindness.”

“Yes, it is the right . . .” I started, but when I looked up and saw her pleading eyes, something inside me shifted, and I could feel the darkness ebb away slightly. “No!” I screamed. “I’m coming, Evangelina, just hold on. I will get you out of here.”

Demon or not, I was no one’s slave. I made my own choices and I chose to get my friends out of there or die trying.

The voice sighed and it sent shivers throughout my body. “Such a fighter, a true warrior. That’s why there was never a doubt that you were the dark warrior the prophecy spoke of.”

“What is the prophecy you speak of?” I asked, sounding more and more like myself. I may have had a new demon look with my glowing eyes and obsidian wings, but at least I was thinking clearly again. “I was told you would tell me, or was that a lie?”

“I do not speak lies, as I have said,” he answered, uncharacteristically patient for horned, fire-breathing monster that stayed hidden in the darkest park of Hell. “Neither do I hide. I have grown too strong for my own good. To look upon my true form is death to all. Demons and angels fall at my feet from a mere glance. Though you may find it difficult to believe, that is not a fate I want for either demons or angels.”

“Isn’t that exactly what you want?” I snarked. “Demons to overcome angels so you can rule Heaven, Hell, and Earth.”

“That is never what I wanted,” the voice answered. “I seek to unite our kind and help us to reach our future potential. We should not be slaves to the humans.” He sounded angry again and I was glad. It reminded me who I was really dealing with.

“And the prophecy?” I pressed on.

“Very well. To paraphrase, a prophecy was made that said a dark warrior angel with power unmatched by any before her would fall, marking the beginning of a war that would tip the scale between angels and demons. A young witch hungry for power would unwittingly create a potion using both angel and demon blood, unlike anything ever done before. With the potion, a child born of both demon and angel parentage would hold the key to open the gates of Heaven to demons. The fallen angel and half-angel, half-demon child together will decide the fate of the war to come, but the choice must be their own.”

That didn’t sound so bad. “Then I choose Heaven,” I said. “It has to be my choice. So I choose Heaven.”

“You should know there is one more piece to the prophecy: No matter the fate of the war, the warrior will fall to the dark and rise a queen bathed in the blood of those she once loved.”

I shook my head fiercely. It couldn’t be true. Kill those I love?
Kill Colton?

“No, I don’t believe you. Besides, even if this prophecy you speak of is true, you could still have the wrong girl. I do not have power unmatched by any before me. There are so many warriors that are more powerful than I could ever hope to be.” I looked up at Evangelina and shuddered at the thought that the prophecy claimed I would dance in her blood. “I could never hurt my loved ones. I don’t care what any prophecy says.”

“Belleeza,” the voice called. I felt that pull toward him and wondered why I was fighting the inevitable. My fate was decided.

I should embrace it.

No, wait, I shouldn’t.

“It must be my choice. You cannot persuade me—it doesn’t work like that. Where are the others? Show them to me.”

“It is not persuasion you feel. It is your own doubt. The darkness inside seeks to join me,” he answered. “Your actions are all done by your own will. It would seem you are fighting our war as well as a war of your own. The darkness is fighting the light within you. If you do not learn to open up and let the darkness rule you as much as the light, it will fight until it takes you over completely. You’re nearly out of time.”

I could feel now that he was right. I was losing the battle with myself. My light didn’t seem so bright anymore, and the more it seemed to fade, the brighter the flames around me seemed to burn. I was losing myself. I looked up at Evangelina again and still I couldn’t get past the barrier. I had to get her out of there fast, before all the good in me was lost to the bad.

The room flashed dark and when it lit back up, the room was completely different. It was large and circular with doors all around it. I stood at the center and turned around. I was looking at Evangelina but no longer was she chained and nude. No longer was she behind a barrier. There was nothing between us now, nothing to stop me from rushing her. Nothing to protect her from me… There was some kind of sheer covering over her, but she was hunched in a ball like a wounded bird, making no noise whatsoever. I knew she was barely alive. The darkness in me was getting stronger. I could feel a ruthlessness about me that I didn’t recognize. I started stalking toward Evangelina, but I was both fighting to get to her and fighting to stay away. I was out of time. The darkness was weighing me down. I could feel the coming change.

A scorching pain suddenly brought me to my knees. “Stop,” I screamed. “Make it stop.” Scream after scream poured from mouth as my heart burned up inside me. There was no end to the pain. I would have welcomed Big Jack to burn out my eyes with his ability for that was nothing to what I felt right then. There was nothing visibly wrong with me. I looked down, trying to search for whatever was causing it, but I couldn’t find the source. The pain slowly receded and tears of blood fell from my eyes.

God help us all
. I knew the source now. The light of my soul had just burned out. I looked at the broken angel on the floor and knew she was there for me. She was a sacrifice, and I hungered to extinguish her light.

She smelled of blood, sweat, and death already. It would be nothing to crush her tiny body—easy, too easy. The weak had no place in this world. My little feet moved so quickly and efficiently that in one flash I went from peering at her across the room to peering at her from mere inches away. I wanted, no,
needed
to break her. To free the imprisoned soul within her. Without pausing to think about it, my hand was suddenly reaching for the creature, but it started and woke, peeking at me with wide frightened eyes.

“I won’t fear you, child,” she said. “You are not the demon standing before me. You can change your wings, your light, and the color of your eyes, but I know the beauty of your soul. You may only see the darkness wrapped around your soul, but I’ve seen light within it, and it burns brighter than any fire. No prophecy can change that.”

I stepped forward. I wasn’t certain whether I meant her harm anymore but I didn’t get the chance to figure it out.

One of the doors burst open in an explosion of wood that sent splinters small and large flying in every direction. In a blur of motion, a machete-wielding angel swept across the room with the unstoppable force of a tornado. I reacted immediately, swinging my weapons at him with pure rage. I didn’t know why I fought, only that I would not stop until my enemy was put down.

We danced around the room, the sound of metal clanging against metal overpowering all other noise. I was aware of the room filling with demons as we fought. They watched in anticipation—some with hungry eyes. It was a hunger for power. Some looked at me with fright in their eyes, others anger and mistrust. Some, like Finders, stared in awe at my new wings and glowing eyes. She watched me and looked pleased, perhaps even happy. I caught her eyes for a fleeting second and she nodded her approval. She dipped her head slightly as she mouthed the words “My queen” and nearly all the other demons followed suit. The room echoed with the words “My queen” and the part of me that was now demon grinned in response. It was power that I was feeding off. I knew without a doubt that all the demons in that room would heed my word whatever it be, and that sense of power fueled my demon soul.

Colton may have loved me, but he wasn’t going easy on me. My inner demon or my warrior, maybe both, liked that. He fought ferociously. His relic burned me with each slash. I had never been on that side of our blades. Somewhere buried inside me I felt a sense of sadness that I was now as vulnerable to angel relics as every demon I had ever killed. My sadness turned to anger and I slashed my sword down his chest angrily. Darkness had taken over my soul, but still the last drop of light in me fought. A mere drop of light allowed slivers of sadness and confusion to taint my mind. Colton somehow sensed that, and he tried to break through to that part of me as we both fought relentlessly.

“You’re still in there, you know,” he said. “I sense it. You don’t even know why you’re fighting me right now. You still love me.”

The demons didn’t like him reaching out to me that way. There were hissing sounds mixed with words of disgust.

“You’re wrong.” I said. “I feel nothing. I
did
love you and where did that get me? You saw the memories. I saw you. You know what you did to me. There is no room for love in me—you saw to that.”

“I hear the sadness in your voice when you say you feel nothing, Belleeza.” I felt a strange pull when he said my name. “You still love me. You still love
her
!” He pointed toward the figure on the floor. I’d completely forgotten about her. She was no threat to me though, too weak. She stared up at me with sad eyes, but the defiance in them was still unmistakable. Even in a room full of demons, she was defiant. I saw now that there was fight in her.

“He’s right, Belleeza.” I felt that strange compulsion again when I heard my name. “You love Nicholai. You love me. I see it.”

“You see what you want to see, little one.” My voice was my own and yet somehow new at the same time. “There is no love in me. I feel nothing for you.” There were low cheers from some of the demons.

The hurt from my words were visible on her face but she shook her head at me. “No, you see what you want to see, young one. I know you, Belleeza. You are not weak. You do not give in to your enemies so easily. There is love in you still. There is light in you still.”

“You’re wrong. I will be the end of you all.”

Colton and I fought evenly matched, neither of us going easy on each other. The more we fought, the more demon I became. He continued to try to reach out to me, but I no longer answered. He started to show signs of fatigue, and I knew I had him. Triumph was at my reach. He knew he was bested. I could see it in his eyes, but I was confused by the lack of sadness in them. Usually you see sadness or fear in the eyes of your opponent when they realize their very long life is about to be ended swiftly. That I saw nothing of the sort threw me off.

Nicholai cut in, “You’ve had your fun with him. It’s my turn now, Beauty.” He smiled. He was graceful and quick. His sword whipped around and lashed first my arm then my cheek. “We still love you, Beauty, no matter what you look like.” He was provoking me. “Come on, Belleeza, you’ll have to be faster than that.”

“This is funny to you?” I asked, wielding my sword in his face.

“No, my beloved friend.” Nicholai sighed as our weapons clanged angrily. “It’s the saddest thing I’ve ever seen—you make a terrible demon.” He was inciting me. I did not like being mocked. I fought harder and faster. “Belleeza, I know you’re still in there. No matter what you do or what you look like, we will never give up on you.”

“Finish him!” one of the demons shouted as I brought him down to his knees. Murmurs of agreement followed. My head turned in their direction. “Finish him, Belleeza,” the demon demanded again.

I didn’t like being ordered around. I was offended by the outcry, the disruption. I turned to the demons. They quieted immediately. I wasn’t sure how to take that, but I found it pleased me. “You speak to me?” Whatever look they saw upon my face made them cower.

“We’re sorry, Belleeza,” they murmured.

They dare call me by my name?

“Who am I?”

“You are Belleeza,” a brave one answered.

“Wrong,” I whispered.

“You are
The Terrible Beauty
,” said Finders, who had been silent up until that point.

“I am
The Terrible Beauty
,” I said. Excited cheers echoed throughout the room. “I am
The Terrible Beauty
!” I roared and flames burst from my body and hands, but this time, rather than scorching me, the flames moved like a part of me. I closed my eyes, embracing the warmth, and when I looked back up, I was pleased to see all the demons in the room abasing me.

A commotion crashed around us and the arrival of warriors sent the room into chaos. Talon stood center, flanked by Liam and Olivia. The shock on their faces as they absorbed the scene was one that even my demon form understood. It was pain, hurt, and betrayal. There was sadness and torment on their faces.

The warriors looked around, taking in the room of demons, though many of the weak vanished at the sight of the arrivals. The rest stayed surrounding me and ready to fight, but not moving. It was as though they were waiting on my word. Finders was on my right side closest to me. “Your move, my queen.”

Talon stared at me in disbelief while Liam and Olivia bore matching looks of anguish. They looked down then, really taking in the scene—aside from the obvious physical changes. The saw me in blazing, black-winged glory with Nicholai on his knees and my sword pressed so tightly against his naked chest that blood trailed down, filling his belly button. Colton stepped toward me, sword in hand, but his open arms were a sign that he meant no threat.